You Can't Keep A Crazy Pill Popper Down!
Paula Abdul showed those idiotic American Idol producers just exactly what they're missing out at last night's DIVA Live concert. You can't put a price on this kind of potent crazy. Paula, who hosted the show, poked at Ellen Degeneres' prune box by dressing up as her and imitating her "penguin with hemorrhoids" moves to perfection. And it was nice of Kim Zolciak to lend her weekend merkin (for when Big Poppa wants a little fur on his teeth) to Paula Abdul to wear as a head wig.
Before Paula channeled her inner perky butchie, she opened the show with a medley of her greatest hits (below) and this is going to go down in lip-synch HISTORY. I don't even think Paula was moving her lips. But in her defense, her mouth was probably numb due to mixing massive amounts of Tijuana-bought Vicodin, daytime Benadryl and Pepsi Zero.
My favorite moment of the entire show is when Paula almost stumbled into the audience at the 1:14 mark. YES! Ellen could never do the pill popper stumble even if she tried.
Paula's performance could also double as a live re-creation of the Hindenburg disaster.
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WHAT WAS THAT???
Was that a replay of Britney @ the 2007 MTV Music Awards?
AND what is up w/all the Simon jokes & PICTURES? Opposites Attract??? W T Hell???
"Oh Ms Abdul,Bitter, party of one, your table is ready..."
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That's my tooth. Why do you have that?
She needs rehab. She also needs to quit the lip synching and bad dance moves.
those dance moves sadden me....i don't know who would ask her to choreograph today because those moves were shameful. i felt like i was watching an off off off broadway musical, so off broadway it was in new jersey and the year was 1988. and those back up dancers couldn't have been happy learning those moves. but what do i know
god I luvz her twice as hard long time after actually watching that!!!
but don't worry ...I ain't got your crazy
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
I love me some paula
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Loved her Ellen impersonation. I don't care what others say, Paula puts the "hot" in hot mess and is youtube gold!
I like the Ellen imitation... but, what an odd way to show how incredibly bitter you are!
The lipsinc/crappy dance medly SUCKED!!!!!! Give it UP, PA..... go make some doll clothes or something.
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pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK
I'm sorry but both of those videos were sad and uncomfortable to watch.
Jesus Christ.
That was all that is bland and lame about American entertainment.
Can I have 2 minutes of my life back please.
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Wyle E
"If you don't have a full-time fuck partner, why not take a few part-time jobs to keep the genital area active in the community.""
The Ellen part was spot on.
The opening, however, was awful. Paula used to not only be a fantastic dancer but has choreographed all kinds of iconic shit. I know she had a back injury years ago, too, but surely she could have done better than this?
If it's pills, she needs to get the fuck off of them because she needs a J-O-B.
And I agree with other, the lipsyncing being so permissible is a slap into the face of Milli Vanilli. Those guys had more talent than 90% of the shit performers out these days.
"WHO ORDERED THE HAMBURGER WITH AIDS?"
Awesome! Great job Paula and I'll miss your incoherent ramblings on AI.
Someone is getting slapped with a bunch of bingo wings in this thread. I didn't watch, but being a Diva is about being able to SING and Additude, not your clothes size. After all, It ain't over until the fat lady sangs. Most of the people who were on the show do not qualify as Divas IMO.
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I get by with a little help from my friends,
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
With a little help from my Dlisted friends.
Last night's divas show sucked. Paula was a horrible host and it was just mighty lame. I thought the girls had great voices - aside from Miley who sounded like a cat in heat - but the show was far from "DIVA" status. Had they not had so many commercial breaks and just went straight for the music, it would have been a better show. And the poor presenters has so many problems with the teleprompter. You would think they'd work that shit out during the whole show, but no.
At least Ryan Kwanten's sexy Aussie accent was in full effect. Made my night *thumbs up*
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
oh and I don't care what anyone says I love Leona too, beyotches
MJT I am excited to see it esp if I dvr so I can skip over SAY WHUT SAY WHUT!?!?!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Yes, you know you're living the life when you're drunkenly spanking children in a Salvation Army. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
lmao the stumble is perfectly coordinated to the music!
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“I think that marijuana should not only be legal, I think it should be a cottage industry.” -Stephen King
I thought Paula was hilarious and I can't fucking stand her.
And was someone really saying JHud looked terrible? She just had a baby, what a couple of weeks ago? And she was never thin to begin with so I thought she looked awesome.
M.E. that VH1 divas shit
The good Russell is my sister's HS friend, the ran track together. I luve him!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Yes, you know you're living the life when you're drunkenly spanking children in a Salvation Army. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Submitted by Andraya on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 11:32am.
I thought her post was so classless it wasn't worth a response but I just have to say AMEN to this. I think JHud looked pretty damn good for JUST HAVING A BABY.
Regardless it wasn't a model competition...and in fact Leona Lewis and Miley Cyrus were the WORST of all the performances last night (minus Paula)...and I like Leona.
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I feel I'm on top again baby that's got everything to do with you...
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 11:19am.
OMG Loozer, that was my theme song for like 4 years. Unrequited Love was my thing for most of junior and high school.
You mean there is actually 'requited love'. Sigh.
Maybe, someday.
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I get by with a little help from my friends,
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
With a little help from my Dlisted friends.
WHat fucking show was this last night? I was watching Survivor.
wow Meeshie, you are real classy, thanks for adding such an intelligent comment, calling talented ladies with beautiful voices who don't starve themselves "herd of buffalo". It's people like you who encourage girls to become skin and bones or throw up so much that their teeth fall out or just end up killing themselves altogether because of opinions like yours.
Why don't you seek some therapy or just look up what "morbid obesity" is, these ladies are not 75 lbs. or more overweight, you ignorant and prejudiced slime.
BTW, ladies who are curvy and actually eat normally are sexy. If you consider Miley Cyrus sexy you are not only a pedophile but must get turned on by your school aged children's friends. But I will agree, Leona Lewis is indeed very sexy not because she's thin but because she is attractive and very talented, just like all the other ladies you insulted just because their bones don't protrude. Oh well, end of rant, I can't help you, I just feel sorry for you I guess.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 11:23am.
Adele and India Arie did a duet also last night. I thought my gays were going to fall out on to the floor. It was that good.
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I feel I'm on top again baby that's got everything to do with you...
Miss Jane: I love Adele and Kelly too, I hope to watch it later
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Yes, you know you're living the life when you're drunkenly spanking children in a Salvation Army. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Paula was a great train wreck to watch.
But I almost threw a brick at my Tee-Vee when the Miley twunt "sang" with Sheryl Crowe.
no love anymore :(
OMG Loozer, that was my theme song for like 4 years. Unrequited Love was my thing for most of junior and high school.
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"Hold the cross high so I can see it through the flames." - Joan of Arc
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 11:03am.
slaps forehead, duh. I forgot Blowing Kisses!
Blowin' Kisses and apologies in the Wind to Paula.
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I get by with a little help from my friends,
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
With a little help from my Dlisted friends.
YES thank you....you answered my prayers for posting this. Paula Abdul is/used to be an AMAZING dancer. She was just HEAVILY medicated last night. Slurring, falling, SPACE CADET.
The Divas though (with the exception of MIley Cyrus (vomits)) were pretty good. Adele and Kelly Clarkson sounded AMAZING.
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I feel I'm on top again baby that's got everything to do with you...
Yeah - I don't think it's mean spirited either. I think it's just topical. I think her line delivery was very bad and so it fell kinda flat at the end but really - that would be the worst of it...
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!
OMG do you really think this is mean spirited? I don't at all and I'm sure Ellen and Portia were yucking it up between munches
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Yes, you know you're living the life when you're drunkenly spanking children in a Salvation Army. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Her performance was sad. But, she was spot on with her dancing like Ellen. I stopped the video when she started talking. I get embarassed for her when she opens her mouth.
That was fucking cute! Her Ellen moves were dead on, and I think Ellen wouldn't have found it mean or offensive at all. She seems so sweet. High as FUCK, but super sweet about it.
And for that medley, yeah, it was a little tired, but she's got better moves than my young nubile ass, so no hate here. Trying to explain to my 19 year old assistant in which universe these songs were the jam has been difficult, though. And I wish she threw "Blowing kisses in the Wind" in there. That song was THE SHIT.
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"Hold the cross high so I can see it through the flames." - Joan of Arc
That was just stupid and petty.
They should've named this fiasco "VH-1 Heifers Live" because J-Hud, Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks and Adele looked like a herd of water buffalo. Thank God for Miley and Leona to actually bring some sexiness to a show otherwise filled with morbid obesity.
Paula can dance, she just can't sing or talk. :>
Aside from all the crazy and whatever else, that Ellen-dancing was definitely right on the money.
If it weren't for 'American Idol,' this one would be on food stamps.
Dumb move she made to walk away from a $5 million contract.
I can't watch the clip until I get home on my own computer. It is blocked here.
Farrah, wweellll. I would have to draw the line at 'Will You Marry Me, Boy'. I think she is Knocked Out at The Way That I Love her.
pshew, I think I have used the titles or lyrics of all of Paula's hit now.
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I get by with a little help from my friends,
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
With a little help from my Dlisted friends.
one thing she shouldnt be making fun of Ellen, she should be angry with AI not Ellen, I think what she did was petty and not that funny but hey whatever, I do not really care for Paula never heard of her before AI
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
i love her hotmessness...
her trip at the 1:14 made me LOL
thanks for posting
It's funny how much more noticeable Paula's talent and skill is when she's trying to supress it. and UGH! I JUST got this song OUT of my head - why you gotta go and put it back for?
I must say tho - I thought her Britney impression was almost as good as her Ellen impression.
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!
She is moving way too slow. Definitely not the old Paula, not even with the help of a dixie cup full of meds.
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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
I was thinkin about years back when Paula took a major slam from the media for putting on some chunk....I have a funny feeling that she developed a pill problem to combat weight - cause a few months later Paula was back to slim, but zonked-out. I read about her battle with depression too....she almost reminds me of a 90's era Judy Garland.
Nobody dissed Judy when she was stoned - just held their breath and hoped she wouldn't fall off the stage. Woman got a lot of love though - and her "gift' wasn't always consistant.
Not sayin Paula is in the same league as Judy...just can't hate on her either.
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
I can't hate on Paula, either. She's loopy, for sure, but I think deep down she's just sweet and, despite her addled haze, is aware that she's neither here nor there, career-wise. Still, not a mean bone in her perky Percoceted body.
My Love Is For Real. Shine on, you crazy diamond.
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by katty520 on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 10:28am.
It's said more and more celebrities and militaries have their profiles on a great military dating site______Meetmilitary . C O M
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i hope your profile is NOT there, bitch, cause you're looking SPENT!
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www.walkms.org
why won't you let me be great with my Tom Fords??
Happy Weekend All xo
I happen to love her imitation. Dead on! LOL
Submitted by katty520 on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 10:28am.
It's said more and more celebrities and militaries have their profiles on a great military dating site______Meetmilitary . C O M
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i hope your profile is NOT there, bitch, cause you're looking SPENT!
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www.walkms.org
why won't you let me be great with my Tom Fords??
Submitted by loozer on Fri, 09/18/2009 - 10:26am.
I Straight Up love Paula.
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yeah, but are you really gonna love her forever? or are you just having fun?
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www.walkms.org
why won't you let me be great with my Tom Fords??
I'm sure Paula will be in her blonde wig dancing together with Ellen on her show soon.