The Empress Of Lucite Is Such A Saint
Many say (okay, just me) that the sheer existence of The Empress of Lucite is the greatest act of charity that the world has ever known! So the painfully-elegant Shauna Sand going out in public should be enough to award her every Nobel Peace Prize for the rest of our days, but she managed to top herself by giving a dollar to a man in a wheelchair.
If you told me that as soon as Shauna handed over that lucite-blessed dollar, the man jumped out of his chair, ran to the nearest liquor store, bought a lottery ticket, won millions of dollars, met a supermodel and then married her, I'd believe you. Yes, even though Shauna was not wearing her exquisite lucite heels, the power of lucite still lives within her!
And Shauna needs to quickly check her whore, because methinks he's trying to outdo her in the "glamorous and gorgeous" department. There can only be one most beautiful woman in the world and that's Shauna!
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"The boyfriend is SO fucking hot it's ridiculous."
I know. But he has that "oh, god, she's not paying me enough to do this" look.
Why is Samuel L. Jackson in wheelchair?
"Close your eyes for your eyes will only tell the truth and the truth isn't want you want to see..." - the Phantom
Shauna has her working clothes on she going back to her day job sucking dicks for $5.00.
Submitted by Noelegy on Sat, 09/12/2009 - 10:09pm.
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No offense taken.
*looks down* :=)
ETA: My toes don't look like fingers.
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c59/prozacncoffee/toenails2.jpg
No offense to anyone who's got these, but those white French-tip pedicures make no sense to me. Why would you want your toenails to look like they need to be cut?
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
OMG! No one told me Djimon Hounsou was in a wheelchair! What happened? Was there a car accident? Did he fall off of Kimora Lee's ass during sex? (I'm sure it's quite a drop)
I WANT A PAIR OF BOOTS JUST LIKE SAINT SHAUNA'S!!! HAWT!
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
The boyfriend is SO fucking hot it's ridiculous. I want him!!!
I do believe the part about the guy jumping out of this wheelchair - most of those Horrywood panhandling bitches are fake.
Amazing...I seemed to see she had a personal account on the rich and success dating site sugarscupid. co m with profile and blog when looking for dates and fun with hot girls there recently. The blog was updated very often. Lots of guys joined in her friend circle.
Not only is she an uber model. But she is also a giver as well. Take that Miss Jolie.
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My Blog ----> http://jayden101.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Jill the Ripper:That being said, if Shauna truly wanted to show sympathy she could at least have given this dude a dry rub
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Love this...good one Jill!!!
OMG.
Who is that lucky twink she's with?
Momus, I am sorry to hear about your pets.
That being said, if Shauna truly wanted to show sympathy she could at least have given this dude a dry rub. And her BF looks like a guy I once knew who always literally smelled like shit.
He must be totally whupped to be carrying her ugly purse. Her twat probably looks a lot like that purse.
His clothes look clean and mid range-priced. A real husler would have already sold that wheelchair.
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
No, that wasn't Mike's dick milk dripping out of her. It was hypocrisy. MESSY! --MK
Does she know her boyfriend is gay? Because I do.
Amber Rose's twin from another mother
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"I fucking drink beer and party!"
I survived Hurricane Ike!!!
thanks little_rascal. thats kinda self-explanatory so i kinda feel like a retard.
what a One dollah whore!either shauna or her bitch.
Next on my agenda...get myself a whore who will carry my bag and shoes..or even myself.
I wish the best for the man in the wheel chair. I dont get it.but it's not cool to take pics of that whore giving money to a man in need. to me is wrong but oh well. Either way he has my respects than those 2 whores. who's taking care of her girls? arrrgh.
Coma Caca!!
Why the fuss? She's only being kind to the people visiting her curb.
@ Lohohater
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To answer your question: when a person gets pedicure, it takes a long time for toenails to dry. And no one has time to sit in the salon and wait for 30 minutes for their toenails to dry. But if you put your own closed-toe shoes back on your feet and your toenails are not completely dry, the pedicure is totally ruined. So in every single salon they give you these disposable flip-flops, so you can put them carefully on your freshly pedicured feet, get into your car and drive.
Somebody better give Wesley Snipes a job real soon.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Lord she called in the photographers and had the scene professionally lit. She is truly the Empress of Everything Beautiful and Charitable in this crazy mixed up world.
how does she get these guyz? this old washed up whore? and i got a question: i dont get my nails did, so excuse the ignorance, but why do they make bitches where paper flipflops in nail places?
So this is what Djimon Hounsou is up to now? Has being married to Kimora Lee Simmons reduced him to this?
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"And the Fuckery Train keeps rolling all the way to HELL...."
@ angel_i
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Angel, does your bunny live in a crate or does it run around your apartment/home?
Submitted by natural redhead on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 8:15pm.
The best picture is the one where she is pointing at the salon flip flops as if to say "wtf am I supposed to do with those?"
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LOL! SO true.
♥ Threadkilla!
Urban Dictionary results:
family (525 up, 125 down)
A bunch of people who hate each other and eat dinner together.
The best picture is the one where she is pointing at the salon flip flops as if to say "wtf am I supposed to do with those?"
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 8:10pm.
Kudos and hugs. Working with shelter animals will help them get socialized and make it easier for them to find a forever home.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Aw! Momus, I feel you. (((HUGS)))ETA: and lil_rascal too...
My baby died 5 years ago and now I gots a bunny...I'm still not quite ready to "replace" him...but we're going to volunteer weekly, this year, to walk dogs at the humane society. It's like a first step....
♥ Threadkilla!
Urban Dictionary results:
family (525 up, 125 down)
A bunch of people who hate each other and eat dinner together.
@ little_rascal and chlyn
Thanks.
@ little_rascal
Puppehs have a way of finding the most needed/wanted items to chew on.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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@ Momus the sarcastic
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Momus, I'm so sorry, you've lost a cat and a dog recently!!!
Several months ago my little doggy which I had for 16 years died after suffering several strokes. I was devastated. I couldn't function. So 2 weeks after her death I got a new puppy. I adore her.
By the way, I've just left a comment in Open Post about my puppy eating my prescription glasses because M.E. left a comment that her dog Koko ate her husband's flip-flops and he was furious!!!
ROFL!!! "And Shauna needs to quickly check her whore"...best words EVER MK!!!!
Coma Caca!!
Momus, your story made me so sad. :(
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 7:43pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 7:41pm.
I haz reeeelijun! I make sure that I takes a sabbath at least once a week.
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Only once a week??? Anal or vaginal? And who is this Sabbath trick? Cuz he need to get better busy on ALLL yo' bidness...Ain't dat whatchu payin' him fo'?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 7:41pm.
I haz reeeelijun! I make sure that I takes a sabbath at least once a week.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 7:37pm.
Mr. Momus and I used to be owned by a 27-pound Maine Coon Cat; he died recently at the age of 17. He also owned a Shetland Sheepdog (we got her for him ... and us); she died a week after him at age 16.
We live in a federal park and cannot have pets.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 7:30pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 7:28pm.
When Shauna Sand douches (not that she does, but sometimes God dictates that the ocean must quench the delicate fair orchid that is Shauna's snatch)...1,000 mermaids are born.....
and when Shauna Sand farts (not that she does, but sometimes cinnamon scented cocoa clouds of earthiness, blessed by Mother Earth are shot out of her asshole)...1,000 angels get their wings...
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A bit too much pre-weekend 'nip, TL? ;)
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No! I was QUOTING THE BIBLE, thank you...Whorenthians 69:71...(did I mention it was the MK version of the Bible?)
You know Momus, it wouldn't KILL you to get a lil' religion in you, ya know?...(just make sure that if it burns when you pee, you immediately go see a doctor...)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
@ Centaurious
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I was very curious about this woman also, so I just googled her.
She is 38 (born in Sept 1971), she was married to Lorenzo Lamas for 7 years (1995-2002) and they have 3 daughters together.
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Well. She's obviously fucking someone at the DMV! 38?????!!!!!
@ Momus the Sarcastic
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Me too, Momus. I think ICanHasCheezburger is a fantastic place. And I love it that Michael K has so many posts about animals here on Dlisted.
Do you have a kitteh or a puppeh?
Submitted by The C word on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 6:54pm.
It's a sure sign that summer is over when the lucite gets put away.
Yet she's wearing white! I'm beginning to think she's a little ill bred.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 7:28pm.
When Shauna Sand douches (not that she does, but sometimes God dictates that the ocean must quench the delicate fair orchid that is Shauna's snatch)...1,000 mermaids are born.....
and when Shauna Sand farts (not that she does, but sometimes cinnamon scented cocoa clouds of earthiness, blessed by Mother Earth are shot out of her asshole)...1,000 angels get their wings...
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A bit too much pre-weekend 'nip, TL? ;)
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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When Shauna Sand douches (not that she does, but sometimes God dictates that the ocean must quench the delicate fair orchid that is Shauna's snatch)...1,000 mermaids are born.....
and when Shauna Sand farts (not that she does, but sometimes cinnamon scented cocoa clouds of earthiness, blessed by Mother Earth are shot out of her asshole)...1,000 angels get their wings...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Her BF is hot!! Why do such ugly looking women get such great looking dudes? IMO she looks like a baboon.
So people in wheelchairs are charity cases now?? Dude might have more bank than she does! Wait. Oh riiight, he has a HAT! That must mean he's begging for money... *rolly eyes*
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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 7:17pm.
@ Momus the Sarcastic
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No, it's not my kitteh, although I have my own kitteh and puppy :-)
I borrowed this kitteh from ICanHasCheezburger.com where they have photos and videos of hilarious pets and funny comments.
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I spend lots of time there.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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@ Momus the Sarcastic
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No, it's not my kitteh, although I have my own kitteh and puppy :-)
I borrowed this kitteh from ICanHasCheezburger.com where they have photos and videos of hilarious pets and funny comments.
Is that her gay boyfriend or hired help? He's kind of cute ...
* MsCanna *
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 09/11/2009 - 7:08pm.
Is your avie your kitteh?
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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@ Centaurious
..................
I was very curious about this woman also, so I just googled her.
She is 38 (born in Sept 1971), she was married to Lorenzo Lamas for 7 years (1995-2002) and they have 3 daughters together.