Paula Abdul Just Swallowed An Entire Pharmacy
What in the huh in the what in the fuck?! The producers of American Idol must have found the emergency stash Paula Abdul left behind in her dressing room and had themselves a major party where they somehow came up with the idea to cast Ellen Degeneres as the fourth judge! I mean, this is some shit you come up with when you're riding high on the bad shit! And no, September 9th is not the new April 1st.
Ellen and Fox both announced tonight that she will replace Paula Abdul starting this season. Ellen said this:
"I'm thrilled to be the new judge on American Idol. I've watched since the beginning, and I've always been a huge fan. So getting this job is a dream come true, and think of all the money I'll save from not having to text in my vote. Hopefully I'm the people's point of view because I'm just like you. I sit at home and I watch it. … I'm not looking at it in a critical way from the producer's mind. I'm looking at it as a person who is going to buy the music and is going to relate to that person. I'm going to have a day job and a night job. The times we're living in ... we're all doing that."
I just hope that either Ellen or Ryan Gaycrest dye their hair another color, because we are going to have a bitch of a time trying to figure out who is who!
You just know the big stack of money Fox handed over to Ellen is ten times bigger than the one they offered to Paula. Oh, shit. I shouldn't have said that. Now Paula is really going to have the meltdown of all meltdowns. All pharmacies, back alley dealers and medicine cabinets should immediately go on HIGH ALERT! Paula Abdul will be on the loose tonight!
And for those of you wondering if Ellen Degeneres has any singing experience, I present this to you:
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Aww..Michael McDonald
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I am not sure bout this one...interesting.
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I am not sure bout this one...interesting.
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Submitted by rotten_egg on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 10:38pm.
Riddle me this, how can a woman with no singing abilities JUDGE a singing contest?.
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Paula did it for what, 6 seasons?
Randy can sing?
Simon is a big singing star?
I think I made my point.
Ellen is golden and as far as I am concerned, she can do anything she wants!
I do not understand the choice of Ellen to replace Paula. However, I hate Paula Abdul with the fire of a thousand burning suns, so I'm just glad the greedy bitch can't come back on the show. You've been replaced, you greedy cow! Ha ha ha ah aha ah ah ha!
"I'm going to have a day job and a night job. The times we're living in ... we're all doing that."
she makes $15-20 million+ annually. what the hell does she know about the economy? stupid fuck.
"I'm going to have a day job and a night job. The times we're living in ... we're all doing that."
*eye roll*
And I don't HATE Ellen, but she's annoying at times and not particularly funny, which seems to be the consensus here. Also the cutesy "dancing" thing she does is just lame. She just tries too hard to be cute, and it's not amusing. She'll probably be even more barf-inducingly-optimistic than Paula was, but without the actual music industry experience.
I actually enjoy American Idol, but I can't stand Ellen... never liked her, never will. I just don't think she is funny. This has to be the most bizarre choice I have ever seen.
Sorry AI, but I won't be watching.
Well....huh. I guess I don't know what to think about this. I still want Paula on there, though.
Well that was a tasteless, stupid comment she made about having 2 jobs. Like bitch even NEEDS a second job. I HATE when celebrities make comments on how the economy is affecting them. Oh, boohoo, they might have to buy a Merecedes for their significant other this year instead of a new summer home. Meanwhile here I am, just got laid off and can't find another job for the life of me and am struggling to get by. Die slow!
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"I'm going to have a day job and a night job. The times we're living in ... we're all doing that."
Sure Ellen. Okay. I guess sitting around judging wanna be stars is hard work. Maybe breathing in Simon's manboob aroma will be hard work for you.
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But that's not what the moment calls for. That's not what we came here to do. We did not come to fear the future. We came here to shape it-- President Obama
American Idol just bombed, BIG TIME!
This is the WORST CHOICE EVER!!!
The show totally lost its credibility. : (
I think Simon did this on purpose so he can finally put this show to sleep and get out of his American Idol contract.
This is going to totally blow!!! Paula will come out smelling like a rose at the end of
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 4:47am.
FUCK YOU ELLEN!
Who does she think she is, patronising us with this 'I'm just like y'all - two jobs!'.
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I actually dont mind Ellen overall, I think she is mostly likeable but ITA in giving her a big "F" You for this comment. I dont care if she is being snarky or whatever, I am not amused when a celeb even remotely mentions the economy & how things are tough for everyone.
Wow, and I thought Ellen doing a CoverGirl commercial was awkward!
All I can say is jump the shark.
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Ellen is not funny, not talented and just f-ing annoying.
"John the Neighborhood Drunk" who wanders around my block singing to himself would have been a better judge.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
love ellen...but no. team paula.
Ladies and genetlemen let me present Ellen Degeneres, the world's most unfunny comedian.
I love Ellen, but that is still not enough to get me to watch. I would rather organize the spice bottles in my cabinet.
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oh. fuck. no. The powers that be at AI must be taking Paula's meds. Without Paula there is no show. sorry but i'm out.
It's bad enough that people are subjected to her in the daytime with her goofy white girl trying to hip hop dance... she's so fucking annoying.
best headline ever
xoxox
The war isn't working.
*tears up petition for Gary Busey*
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What's the exchange rate on me giving less than a rat's ass? - TV
GAY RIGHTS PR MOVE!! DONT YOU GET IT?? OMG! HOMEGIRL WAS PISSED ABOUT WHAT HAPPND TO LAMBERT. OMG...SO OBVIOUS...GO ELLEN,GO ELLEN,GO ELLEN. GUESS SIMON DOESNT WANT TO GO HEAD TO HEAD WITH GAY AMERICA. DUDE, MY CAPS BUTTON IS LOCKED IM NOT SHOUTING LIKE KANYE. MY SHITS BROKEN.
American Idol has officially jumped the shark now.
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buahhahah! now that's some fucked up news.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Mind. Boggled.
Just one more reason why NOT to watch this show. Well, after the auditions. That fuckery is too good to miss.
Oh, and unless you have a legitimate intellectual disability (bump your head, cunt?) you're also too old to be carrying on with your 'kooky, durr, kinda dumb' routine.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
FUCK YOU ELLEN!
Who does she think she is, patronising us with this 'I'm just like y'all - two jobs!'.
Sorry bitch, but you don't work. You sit on a couch and brown nose celebrities for a living. Not working.
American Idol Judge also fails to meet the criteria of 'job'. Sitting on a panel two nights a week and reading a script does not count as a job.
This BITCH has made millions from doing even fuck all, and she's making twee comments in a time were most people are glad to have any job, even if it's shovelling shit out of a horse's arse.
Horrible, horrible woman. How did she get ANY gig on TV? She's not funny, she's a professional lesbian at best.
FUUUUUUUCK OFF STUPID COW!!!
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
What in the cunty fuck what?
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paula's much more interesting than ellen...I've met ellen...
but you don't even have to meet paula to know how much
cooler she is....ellen reminds me of the maid on "Love that Bob"
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
I don't watch AI but thought she was not very good on So You Think You Can Dance. Her jokes were lame and stupid and took away from the dancers. Guess she's good for ratings though.
nothing against ellen, but the other judges have at least some connection to the music industry.
what are ellen's 'cute' ramblings going to add to the show ?? oh well, it really doesn't matter. idol without paula is just not the same show anymore. the producers seem intent on killing the goose that laid a ratings golden egg.
Swallowed a whole pharmacy. Hahahahahahahaha Awesome MK!!!!!!!
eh, i usually like ellen, shes not hilarious but shes quirky and harmless--but i'm superiorly disappointed that she joined this fuckery, no matter how much money they were waving in her face.
i've been praying for american idol to just go into extinction for years now. heres to hoping her addition somehow contributes to idols demise.
She was very annoying on SYTYCD. Bye Idol. It was nice knowing you.
The only good thing about this was this comment from another board.
"I respect the opinion of anyone who has had the opportunity to yodel into Portia DeRossi's canyon."
Thank you for that.
Can Ellen say "pitchy".
She was bad on So You Think You Can Dance. But, she wasn't as bad as Lil C's nonsensical elaborations.
Submitted by rotten_egg on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 10:38pm.
Riddle me this, how can a woman with no singing abilities JUDGE a singing contest?. I know we can all have a personal opinion on whether someone has a "good" voice or not, but that do not make us trained singing teachers!. Ok, unless American Idol is NOT about training professional singers and more about the making of marketing products.
Whatever, seems like they are more into ratings.
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Look at the "quality" of performer that makes the finals. They hired a talentless piece of shit to judge talentless pieces of shit. Perfect Paula Abdul replacement.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I like Ellen, but I think this is dumb.
She was funny on So you think you can dance as a GUEST judge. However, she sugar coats so much she makes Paula look like Simon. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she has no skill set to judge with. Paula was not amazing talent, but let's face it, she was huge in the nineties and had experience recording successful albums and dancing. There was some sort of musical background. I mean I guess their goal is to embrace the fact that credibilty is out the window and that they are purely reality tv and marketing, not finding the best talent.
On the other hand she can give a "regular person" perspective, but those are so varied and I don't need a regular person to tell me what to think.
I love this for a couple reasons. A gay might piss off the idol audience, and I happen to think ellen is funny and snarky. Can't wait to hear her make fun of the bimbos! _____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 10:35pm.
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Hahaha...I can hear Randy saying 'Dawg, that ain't cool' while Simon tells her that's 'indulgent nonsense'.
G'night, Slim - sweet dreams!
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Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
Riddle me this, how can a woman with no singing abilities JUDGE a singing contest?. I know we can all have a personal opinion on whether someone has a "good" voice or not, but that do not make us trained singing teachers!. Ok, unless American Idol is NOT about training professional singers and more about the making of marketing products.
Whatever, seems like they are more into ratings.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by The C word on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 10:24pm.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 10:15pm.
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Hey Slim! Wouldn't you love to see Sean leading the audience in a dance? Not sure she'd put the bottle down first though...
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LOL, Sean would definitely put the bottle "up" some well deserving asshole's sphincter before she put it down...Although, that crazy bitch might do just about anything for notoriety at this point.
Sleep well, Foxy Humps. I'm late...
xoxoxoxo
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Are You A Goddess? If so...
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 10:15pm.
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Hey Slim! Wouldn't you love to see Sean leading the audience in a dance? Not sure she'd put the bottle down first though...
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Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
Oh, for crying out loud!! First we have Lohan/Ungaro and now Degeneris/AI. IMO Degeneris is a whinier version of Rosie O'Donnell. Toned down but just as distasteful. With all the talented people out there that really need a job, why would anyone hire Degeneris? There is no doubt in my mind that this will be the last season of AI.