Friday, September 4th 2009
Jessica Simpson Takes The Paris Fashion Scene By Storm (Not Really)
Just so we're clear, I'm talking about Paris, France and not Paris, Arkansas. Although, I'm sure Jessica Simpson would kill it on the mini-mall catwalks in Paris, AK.
So, Jessica Simpson's Vh1 reality show about beauty took her all the way to France yesterday. Jessica was there to model in a fashion show for designer Ozlem Suer. Jessica managed to not fall off the stage or trip on her own irrelevancy, so it was a job well DONE! Although, Chestica probably should've given her sad wilting chesticles a pep talk before they went out. And by "pep talk," I mean she should've duct taped those hos or slapped a bra on them.
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is a disembodied arm the new gucci bag?
You know what?
Jessica has gone from smokin' hot to dirtbag ugly in less than five years.
Congrats.
To whom, I don't know.
Where is Jessica's hairdresser twink? Fried and teased blonde hair with roots, no shine, and stray hairs - the price of beauty? There is no answer to that because her rats nest + back fat & an ill fitting hideous frock = priceless.
My friend recommended me a very interesting place
________ S e e k R i c h. C O M_________ .It is the best dating club for seeking the rich singles, beauties and even hot celebs..what's the most important is:you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one. I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy.______TTTTTTTT_____
My friend recommended me a very interesting place
________ S e e k R i c h. C O M_________ .It is the best dating club for seeking the rich singles, beauties and even hot celebs..what's the most important is:you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one. I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy.______TTTTTTTT_____
That is so not a beautiful woman. What is her purpose ?
Damn, Tony Romo used to look across the breakfast table at a couple ripe melons, now all she has to offer is some old flapjacks.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by larissette on Sat, 09/05/2009 - 3:58am.
Wait, she got defiled yesterday? Was Papa Joe drinking again before it happened?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
She's too freaking fat to be on the catwalk.
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Wyle E
"If you don't have a full-time fuck partner, why not take a few part-time jobs to keep the genital area active in the community.""
those saggy tits scream 'had a kid'.
I really don't understand how you people can spend so much time gossiping and being so nasty.
You say you don't understand why Jessica Simpson's still around, but you want her around, otherwise why would you be on this website reading about her?
There are already hundreds of comments, in less than a 24 hours, that's why she's still around!
You hypocrits! Try at least to be honest with yourselves.
She is very pretty, I should know, I was with her yesterday, a few hours after her défilé. She has an original face indeed, but that's what makes her beautiful. Thank god she doesn't look like all the bimbos in the magazines!
Get back to your lives, and stop being so jealous.
Congratulations go out to Chestica simpson. She can now add "I cans walks in a straight line" to her list of skills on her resume.
PS - she looks like the bride of frankenstein here, with floppy dried up titty bags. Nasty; just nasty...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
I don't care for her. Ugh. That said, on a few occasions, I have seen her look very pretty. BUT she is odd. She has deep set eyes or something, a weird nose and jaw...and she can look simply mannish and frightening at times. Here she looks frumpy and dead-ass beat down tired.
Submitted by Seen around London on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 9:41pm.
I thought banana tits were the outcome of having kids.
Banana tits! Hahaha.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 8:22pm.
Her funbags are looking a little partied out. I'd still like to try to fuck the stupid out of her.
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*scrolls up to top pic*
Umm...well, you know, as they say: try to focus on the process and not the product....you know? I just want you to have a good time and not be disappointed:)
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one more thing I want to know."
Oh. MY. God! THIS was supposed to revive her career, this show Papa Joe bought for her?
I have to honestly say I have NEVER seen uglier pictures of her in her whole career! What is up with her people? Her hair looks like a stinky, powdered wig from the 1800s and her dress, could there have been a worse choice???
Maybe Papa Joe likes to see the hanging and saggy like that, but it makes her look like my grandmother when she took off her corset! And the split for the large and ungainly leg, oh my.
No, Jessica, no!!
I thought banana tits were the outcome of having kids. What's her story? Maybe john Mayor has a secret and thats why this bitch showed up so fat for a while.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 8:42pm.
Meh, my left hand never complains either way.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 8:28pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 8:25pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 8:22pm.
Her funbags are looking a little partied out. I'd still like to try to fuck the stupid out of her.
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*sending TV all the Viagra spam from my spam folder*...What? What? You'll need it on two accounts, don't kid yourself....
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Like I have room for that among all the penis enlargement newsletters I subscri.......I mean, get spammed with.
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Now, TV...it's not the size of the ship but the motion in the ocean...WAIT HOLD UP...Awww, hell naw...THAT'S whacu workin wif???? Boy, I stuck cocktail weenies bigger than that up my cooter (what? like you whores haven't done it on a drunken dare)....
I keed, I keed, Womens, TV is hung like a MULE and is a SEXINATOR...he'll go all night long, satisfy your every need and make you forget about any lover you've ever had...
ok, TV, that testimonial will cost ya plenty...Break out the cash...Wait you whores were not supposed to see this part...Go away!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 8:25pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 8:22pm.
Her funbags are looking a little partied out. I'd still like to try to fuck the stupid out of her.
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*sending TV all the Viagra spam from my spam folder*...What? What? You'll need it on two accounts, don't kid yourself....
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Like I have room for that among all the penis enlargement newsletters I subscri.......I mean, get spammed with.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 8:22pm.
Her funbags are looking a little partied out. I'd still like to try to fuck the stupid out of her.
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*sending TV all the Viagra spam from my spam folder*...What? What? You'll need it on two accounts, don't kid yourself....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Her funbags are looking a little partied out. I'd still like to try to fuck the stupid out of her.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Oh no, that dress isn't flattering at all! At least she's enjoying her crazy self overseas (and not stinking up the U.S.)
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Whores of a feather, trick the streets together!
My son loves her don't know why....
Um...who thought this was a good idea, and what the fuck were they smoking? Cuz I want to 'just say no' to summa dat shit...Think of that "this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs" PSA....
Any questions? Yeah, now go do the DListed approved PURPLE DRANK and her good good friend Mary Jane...and stop buggin' me wif questions...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
"Look Ya'll my new fashion assessory, it's my poppa joes's forearm." That man has his hand in everything she does.
mhm.. the tits don't look good.. D:
Submitted by jbean on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 2:50pm.
LOVE your avatar jbean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
No wonder Tony dumped her.
Man those tits are sad.
Shut up you ugly poo-faced git!
it looks like she is holding a floating arm
Not everyone in Fez wears a Fez.
I just keep thinking y'all should know.
♥ Threadkilla!
So now you try to pull the race card and it just backfires in your face hard cuz you know we don't play that black and white shit.
Bully
Man, she's quite unattractive. I never thought she was attractive, but she is fucking ugly now..
Wow, she looks like shit - Who the hell hates her enough to let her go on a runway looking like that? (Carrie Underwood..) The hair (she needs long flowing hair around that square face), the makeup (her complexion even looks bad), the poor choice of dress (definitely needed something to cover up the upper arms and the hanging back fat)I hate to say it, but her sister would have been a (gulp) better choice...
@little_rascal:
Hey, thanks for the link! I went there and almost OD'd on cuteness! Meow! :-)
It's like the fat is leaving her biggest assets and migrating elsewhere. Expect her to get more work done.
I agree, she looks like crap.
Either no one told Jessica that it's not Halloween yet or she's channeling Gary Oldman in his old Dracula kabuki drag. She's sad, sad, sad. And has droopy gazongas.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
@ mesmerized
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Hi and welcome to Dlisted. I'm very new here also, I've been on Dlisted for 3 weeks.
I have a puppy and a kitten myself, but the kitten on the photo is not my own. It's a photo borrowed from the web site Icanhascheezburger.com. It's a site with hilarious photos of different animals, mostly cats and dogs, and it has funny titles and visitors comments and ratings. As an animal lover, sometimes I spend hours on that site reading headlines and looking at pictures and laughing hysterically.
Meow! :-)
Pamela Anderson's boobies are on display in an ad right next to Chestica's picture - don't know what is worse.
bitch just needs to work out!!! i have natural c-cups and did years of going bra-less, as well as gymnastics and cheerleading in the WRONG type of bra, but boobs can still look good if you build some damn muscle in the chest wall~!
My god MK is a dumb ho. AK is Alaska you poor misguided pussy-eater. Yeah, I said it.
TP
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Michael K is king of the faux-mos.
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She looks like shit.
WHY won't producers stop with the inane shows?
WHY Chestica?
Just why?
sorry pple, totaly off topic:
@little_rascal:
your avie is one of the cutest things I've seen in my life, i think! i just signed up just to be able to ask you where you found this cute pic? is this your kittie? did you photoshop that cutest little smile, or was it for realz? every time i see that little pic, i well up a bit for some reason (yeah, i'm a sucker for pets). hugs!
Submitted by Mother Superior on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 11:22am.
*gasp!!!!* at the droppy boobies!
They look unhappily deflated!
Hahahahaha!
that dress looks like an eggplant this side of bad.
I know guys who love big breasted women who either play dumb for them, or are just straight-up retards. Most, end up marrying two or three of them before they find "the right one".
I am not one of those guys.
wow - those things aren't aging well.
I'm in my 40's have natural 32DDs and mine don't hang like that. But I think I was just blessed with perfect tits.
Once she sees these pics, the motel room o.d. is coming.
Submitted by liquidpaper on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 12:24pm.
arkie here too. we're all pretty suave and hip, we just get dumped on repeatedly to make other folks from other states feel better about their inadequacies. :-)
Them Duggarses don't help none.
This isn't working on several levels:
1) Her waist looks thick in every shot.
2) Did they think she wouldn't be seen from the back? The dress's zipper is hugely obvious, as is the messy back of her head. I'm guessing the freshman class at Chonie's School of Beauty did her hair and makeup.
3) Her face and facial expressions are not high fashion. She'd be doing better at a fashion show at the mall modeling the new t-shirt & shorts collections.
Embarrassing.
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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.