Megan Fox's Vagina Is Powerful
"Women always have a strike up on men. We've always got our bodies (if you keep it in shape) and we've always got the check to cash." - A New Jersey flower from the documentary Wildwood, NJ
Philosopher and feminist hero Megan Fox completely agrees with this statement. In the new issue of Cosmo, Professor Whoreface says, "Women hold the power, because we have the vaginas. If you're in a heterosexual relationship and you're a female, you win."
You got that, ladies? If your dude is ever giving you lip, just pull down your pants, rip off your panties, spread them legs and show your vagina. BOOM! Game over. You wear the vagina in the relationship, so you WIN. VAGINA POWER!
All of the world's big debates should be solved with just a flash of the puss!
And in case you're hongray for more of Megan's drops of wisdom (make sure to take penicillin after), here's three that'll make you barf up LOLs:
Megan on commitment: "I have no problem with commitment — you can't have a real relationship without it. I can flip on a switch in my brain, and even if the next Brad Pitt is standing next to me, I won't look at him. But I can also turn that switch off, and then I collect attractive boys."
Megan on boys: "I never call them guys. I always called them boys. Maybe it's a superiority complex — my needing to keep them down."
Megan on being hit on by famous dudes: "It's fun when someone intends to put you in his back pocket, but instead, he walks away wounded. I make it a mind game, so they don't know if I'm hitting on them or mocking them. Male actors drop lines about their private jets, trying to seem powerful, but I don't give a shit. I don't need someone else's power. I'm obtaining my own."
VIA MTV
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Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:44pm.
*ducks flying shivs* DAMN some of y'all need a hardy shot of propofol up in here, and I thought I was riding the rag hard this morning!
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Oh my god, Pearl. Your comment gave me a good laugh. Ever since Michael Jackson's death, my friends have been throwing around propofol references left and right.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:42pm.
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:16pm.
If this bitch looked like Amy Winehouse, she would be our hero for spewing this shit
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Haha! If that was Amy Winehouse it would definitely bring more LOLZ that's fersure. But I can safely say it wouldn't make her my hero.
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Hahaha. Poor Amy. I'm sure her vagina is as hungry and powerful as MF's. She's just able to subdue it with drugs.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Filthy, I had deleted my comment because I realized it was too cunty. But you saw it first. I apologize for personal attacks.
You do need to go back and rereview what I wrote though. Nowhere did I say that YOU said she was brilliant. I was simply giving my opinion that we aren't calling her dumb BECAUSE she is beautiful.
exactly what I was telling mrsoul yesterday, men are stupid. He thinks pornfliks are real, duh! NO they are not!
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"buhhh nanas" Rachel Zoe
*ducks flying shivs* DAMN some of y'all need a hardy shot of propofol up in here, and I thought I was riding the rag hard this morning!
Submitted by madam ex on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:40pm.
Another cunt I cant stand and feel all stabby when I look at her which is daily, cause this cunt is all the fuck over the place. When will her time expire? NOT SOON ENOUGH!!!!!!!!
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She'll be done soon. Pretty with no talent and a cunty personality doesn't last long. Remember how Katherine Heigel was everywhere last year (or the year before)? Now I'm not even sure if her first name has a K or C without checking.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:16pm.
If this bitch looked like Amy Winehouse, she would be our hero for spewing this shit
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Haha! If that was Amy Winehouse it would definitely bring more LOLZ that's fersure. But I can safely say it wouldn't make her my hero.
♥ Threadkilla!
So now you try to pull the race card and it just backfires in your face hard cuz you know we don't play that black and white shit.
Bully
Deleted for being equally cunty
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http://blindsmack.wordpress.com/
You know you're really a whore when you have to deny being a prostitute... Stoney
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:35pm.
Hahaha. When you get done with her maybe you can take care of some of those others on my list - stomp for hire maybe?
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You know those Kissing Booths that they have in fairs? I've often thought we could put skanks like this one and Speidi to some actual service for humanity. "Celebutard Bitch Slap" or "Shank The Skank." Proceeds go to charity, natch. Or the annual DListed party.
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Bottom-feeder.
Another cunt I cant stand and feel all stabby when I look at her which is daily, cause this cunt is all the fuck over the place. When will her time expire? NOT SOON ENOUGH!!!!!!!!
I would never, ever, say this under any other circumstances — but wouldn't it be great if she were in a disfiguring accident and didn't have her looks to fall back on?
Deleted. I'm being a cunt.
Submitted by Fluffy on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:33pm.
Why Melissa Gilbert????
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Bitch has got MAJOR issues. I think being an alcoholic seriously fucked her up, not like usual, but more like Cybil.
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http://blindsmack.wordpress.com/
You know you're really a whore when you have to deny being a prostitute... Stoney
lol @ Melissa Gilbert on FilthyB's beatdown list. And for the record, I LOVE Megan Fox. She's the gift wrapped in a thick layer of Mac cosmetics that keeps on giving here on DListed...and keeps on giving elsewhere, I'm sure.
Snideychick sez:
Hey Megan lets see how "powerful" you are when you're forty!
Dumb mind-fucking bitch games won't work when you aren't young and hot. Old age willl NOT be kind to this one.
ZiggyStardust on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:19pm
Once again, you have so efficiently said what I thought, but could not reproduce.
Kudos.
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"This space for rent"
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Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:30pm.
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:23pm.
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Well, IN THIS ECONOMY, luckily we have the time.
/laces up some vintage steel-toed Doc Martens.
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Hahaha. When you get done with her maybe you can take care of some of those others on my list - stomp for hire maybe?
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http://blindsmack.wordpress.com/
You know you're really a whore when you have to deny being a prostitute... Stoney
Submitted by Barb Dwyer on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:31pm.
What's the female name for Douche? Douchette?
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What is Megan Fox, Alex.
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Bottom-feeder.
This is the ONLY person I want to hear talk about Vagina Power.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr9GqQU6kgI
I love how she talks about having the upper hand, ya da ya da, and yet there she was walking the red carpet complaining that her man stood her up.
Whoa Sushi, don't let me interrupt your rant, but where exactly did I say she was brilliant?
I think you're a little to eager to try to eBeat someone's ass over this ho. No one said she was brilliant or even complimented her.
I said it was funny that she is hated for saying this shit. The whole damn thing is funny. I don't get pissed off over dumb 20 year olds that cant shut their mouth. I get pissed off over people like Kunt Gosselin.
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http://blindsmack.wordpress.com/
You know you're really a whore when you have to deny being a prostitute... Stoney
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:23pm.
Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:17pm.
@FilthyBitch:
Megan could end world hunger and I'll still have to kick her snatch shut. Just because.
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Wow, she is SO far down on my list, I'm not even sure I would get to kicking her in the next 5 years.
She would be far behind:
Parasite
Lady CaCa
Lindsay
Britney
Kunt Gosselin
Kirstie Alley
Melissa Gilbert
Perez Hilton
Everyone on Earth that is "emo"
Everyone on Earth that makes music ala Fall Out Boy, Good Charlotte, or John Mayer
John Mayer
The Kardashians
and on
and on
and on
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Why Melissa Gilbert????
Submitted by I need more cowbell on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:23pm.
She is into domination, not everyone's cup of tea but I for one have to have absolute control over the entire "relationship".
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I was thinking about that too. It's such a weird pervy undertone to everything. I don't think I like it...not as a selling point for an actress, pop star whatever.
I feel, almost, like they have a list of pervy personas to choose from at the starting gate: Britney was a sub,Rihanna prolly should have been but I think Dominatrix is the "in" fantasy right now, Katie's like some kinda bi-switch...And it just sickens me cuz I think of bloated Execs sitting around tables viewing possible starlets and, basically, deciding what kind of sexual fantasy they'd like each one to be playing out for them...
And here's fucktard Megan Fox playing into it...
♥ Threadkilla!
So now you try to pull the race card and it just backfires in your face hard cuz you know we don't play that black and white shit.
Bully
What's the female name for Douche? Douchette?
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:10pm.
Call me crazy but I feel like my power lies in my stunning intellect and unbelievable wit and charm.
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And I consider you a very perceptive person, Molotov!
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:23pm.
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Well, IN THIS ECONOMY, luckily we have the time.
/laces up some vintage steel-toed Doc Martens.
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Bottom-feeder.
@Molotov Cocktease:
Cosign and real talk.
Every time she opens her mouth she proves how stupid she is and no amount of the Cliff Note feminism her handlers pour into her head will convince anyone that she's anymore than some dumb bint with little talent who had a decent enough rack to get her to the top of the B-list pile for a few years until some new dumb thing comes along.
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I am not a pussy.
Pussy is like karate: it should not be used as a weapon. B/c guess what, Megan? You don't own the only pussy in the world.
Also equally powerful: blow jobs. & while my boyfriend may be "rewarded" from time to time with extra oral action from doing something even amazingly sweeter than usual, I'm not going to use it as a bribe, as I think it debases our relationship.
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
LOL, Filthy. I gotta know, why do you want to kick Melissa Gilbert?
I really hope Hollywood will cast actual TALENT instead of vapid Angelina Jolie wannabes.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:17pm.
@FilthyBitch:
Megan could end world hunger and I'll still have to kick her snatch shut. Just because.
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Wow, she is SO far down on my list, I'm not even sure I would get to kicking her in the next 5 years.
She would be far behind:
Parasite
Lady CaCa
Lindsay
Britney
Kunt Gosselin
Kirstie Alley
Melissa Gilbert
Perez Hilton
Everyone on Earth that is "emo"
Everyone on Earth that makes music ala Fall Out Boy, Good Charlotte, or John Mayer
John Mayer
The Kardashians
and on
and on
and on
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http://blindsmack.wordpress.com/
You know you're really a whore when you have to deny being a prostitute... Stoney
She is into domination, not everyone's cup of tea but I for one have to have absolute control over the entire "relationship". You get two people together and one will always love the other more and will do anything to make that person happy. What's wrong with being the bitch at the switch? All those women out there who smile and say "If Mama aint happy, no one is happy" are exactly the same. It's just a nicer way to say it.
Submitted by rotten_egg on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:13pm.
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I say that Megan is 3) All of the above. She both thinks she's the prettiest/hawtest hawt that ever hawted Hawtsville, BUT she's also had to do humiliating things to get ahead for those so-called boys who are allegedly powerless before her mighty vaginer. Seriously though, she's beautiful, but she's both immature and maybe barely average in both intelligence and whatever education she reluctantly gathered along the way. It's like she's the answer to the question "What would George W Bush sound like if he'd been born a sexy woman?"
I did think it was funny when she said "the next Brad Pitt" as though Brad Pitt aint even Brad Pitt anymore.
Funny, the way I see it is the women who HAVE to weild their vaginas to get the upper hand have no other redeeming qualities that would make a man want to make her happy without or without getting some hooch.
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
I wonder how she'd look in a ball gag? At least we wouldn't have to listen to her bullshit. She is her own biggest fan.
If this bitch looked like Amy Winehouse, she would be our hero for spewing this shit (Whoever has the pussy DOES make the rules). But because she is pretty everyone is like OMG YER SO STUPID SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
Got to say it brings the lolz.
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No, it's not because she is beautiful. It is because she is the female version of Brad Pitt. She says everything she thinks men want to hear because it will make her seem sexier. I don't buy her faux lesbian stuff any more than I believe Brad Pitt won't marry Angelina because he's taken a stand to support gay marriage.
Not to mention nearly every comment she makes contradicts the other. Go on believing that she's brilliant. With every tongue licking lip pose she makes, her allure wears off and people see right through to her insecure mess.
I first read the title of this post as, "Megan Fox is Vagina Powerful." Ha! I think I like that better. It's like a an eighties slogan for kegel meditations:
"Don't just be powerful, be Vagina powerful!"
This really is a "bitch please" day on dlisted. First fake Demi, then pussy boy Brown, now this inflated ego twat. My eyes have been rolling out of my head all morning.
Isn't there already a "vagina power bitch"? Alexxis Whatshername? Megan Fox doesn't shine a light to her...she should stick to savoring the smell of her own farts.
So what is she doing in that pic anyway, loading ping pong balls in that powerful thing?
Filthy, I wouldn't care if Medusa and Beth Ditto's lovechild said this shit, it's still an arrogant, retarded, cunty skank thing to say.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
If we ignore rates of domestic violence; the Belief in a Just World fallacies that skew judicial systems in men's favour; women's economic disadvantage; divisions of domestic labour; Islamic countries' disregard for women's basic human rights; the failure of our schools and universities to support women's education; the deliberate exclusion of items that favour women in education and occupational testing that go on to limit their economic and social potential; and the fundamental evolutionary need women have to keep their male partners around while they are incapacitated from pregnancy which leads them to accept all manners of abuse, then perhaps Megan has a point.
Why should women care about such trivial matters when they have the power to give a man a hard-on by flashing their juicy pussy?
Death is to sweet an end for this prostitute.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
@FilthyBitch:
Megan could end world hunger and I'll still have to kick her snatch shut. Just because.
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Bottom-feeder.
She is the living breathing proof that true beauty does come from within. No matter how hard she tries, she always comes of looking like a girl no man in his right mind would ever want to introduce to his mother. The words "Cheap" and "tackey" come to mind.
If this bitch looked like Amy Winehouse, she would be our hero for spewing this shit (Whoever has the pussy DOES make the rules). But because she is pretty everyone is like OMG YER SO STUPID SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
Got to say it brings the lolz.
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http://blindsmack.wordpress.com/
You know you're really a whore when you have to deny being a prostitute... Stoney
Submitted by govt_cheese on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:05pm.
Ahhhhhhh, Pearl Necklace beat me to it! Yeah, Megan - alien princess RiRi knows about BOOM
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srsly -- and on that note someone needs to point Chris Brown in Vadge's saber-toothed gina's direction. He'd be like "WOW, my penis done got caught in a meat grinder WOW looks like shredded meat pencil WOW!"
Jimmy: all your power exists in your no no hole! CELEBRATE THE POWER!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
WE may have the magic vagina's.. but a penis would come in handy when trying to pee outside.
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Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:12pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 1:11pm.
Yea after they get in and *ahem* get out they ruin your sweaters, huh?
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That or give me an excellent protein deep conditioning for my hair....
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lmy9R_WtPbg&feature=player_embedded