Fisting Gone Wrong
Everyone is hurting their hands these days! First there was Shia LaDouche, then Malcolm in the Middle, and now George Clooney! Obviously, hos in Hollywood need to invest in the Male Machine. Jerk that junk without the risk!
So, George's rep tells People that he wrecked up his hand in an accident in Italy, "There was an accident and he did break his hand. He was not riding a motorcycle, it was not in Switzerland ... He was on his property in Italy and he shut the car door on his hand."
Shut the car door on his hand? Is that what we're calling it these days? It's okay, George. Sometimes a bitch loses their balance and falls off the bed, taking your fist with them. It happens. Next time, do your fisting stuff on a hard, sturdy surface. Hopefully, the other bitch's ass made it out without a scratch.
George's rep added that he got treatment in Switzerland and is doing FINE now, "The doctor has given him 30-40 years more to live, and no live animals were harmed during the wrapping of the hand. The only reason he went to the hospital was to get a temporary cast put on."
Oh, we've got a fucking hot one here! It looks like Groucho Marx was reincarnated as George's spokeswhore!
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ok, did anyone have the guts to watch the Male Machine video????
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I'm almost sure Georgie hurt his hand punching his beard upon hearing that Brad was gonna get some gerbils. The jellis h8er!
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Bottom-feeder.
Hahahahahhahahahahhahaaaahhahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Love it!
Klutz to the nth degree...
Breaking your OWN hand while at home...
Even I, the queen of klutz, don't "break" my own bones.
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I call bulshit on the "no live animals were hurt" statement
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
George probably wanted to box the big ego out of himself and got hurt........
Ouch! But to be honest it is quite unlikely to slam a car door on your whole hand and not just on a finger or two. I bet someone else (probably some angry bitch) slammed it!
Poor George, I volunteer if he needs some help in the shower or to jerk off...
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"It's great being blonde, people have such low expectatons it's easy to impress"
Submitted by AttentionWhore on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 11:37pm.
This quote for the Male Machine made me LMAO!
That thing is $845 without remote (?), $905 with remote. For that kinda money, you could go on 10-15 nice dates and maybe get laid on your own.
http://www.sybian.com/aff/venus2000n_aff_ordering.html
This quote for the Male Machine made me LMAO!
"Not some cheap plastic "Adult toy"; novelty gimmick, the Venus 2000 is a masterful work of expert engineering and quality construction."
I've noticed that people have more accidents when they are tired.
Like my kids will bumble around and do all sorts of dumb shit and cry out of proportion to their injuries at the end of the night, right before bed when they are really tired and bratty.
And if I don't get enough sleep, I will get all sorts of dumbass injuries, like cutting my legs with the razor while shaving and slamming my fingers in drawers and cutting myself on the little teethy thing that cuts the plastic wrap and stubbing my toe on the bed frame. All that happened to me TODAY.
Mmmm...ok....do we care about this?
Really?
I mean, it's not like Angie bumped her head or anything...how hard up can People be....?
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that using such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117. #15
"Oh, we've got a fucking hot one here! It looks like Groucho Marx was reincarnated as George's spokeswhore!"
OLLLLOLOLOLL
Only a two year old and brain dead celebrity would close their own hand in a car door!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_M9SizIzpQg
There's something about him that annoys me but I do appreciate that he has not succombed (sp?) to botox. It is really refreshing to see wrinkles on the forehead and not the waxy embalmed look.
It looks as though he bites his nails.
And pillows.
Submitted by PeachPie on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 7:04pm.
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Oooooooh, you said Daddy??? Oh.no.you.din't....
but cuz you did, let's watch what happens...teehee, teehee...
*popping popcorn*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I heard he's very small....stature wise
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
I really for a moment thought MK made up the statement from George's rep.
He has some long ass fingers. I just noticed that looking at that photo. *ouch* He must have been drunk and shit. I'm pretty sure that fool has somebody opening and closing car doors for him.
Come on now he doesn't look that bad. Stand up in your cubicle right now, look at the dudes his age (48) and tell me how many look as good as George!!!
Submitted by lizardo911 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 6:10pm.
He's getting way old looking... I don't know why the young, pretty girls like him. Seems to me that he would have a shriveled old slimey grayish colored dick... Just isn't attracitve...
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Ok, I just bashed GC in my prev post. But I'm taking you to task.
1. Please tell me, where do I find medical evidence that an older man's member is "slimey graish colored"? I've never seen one, but what, pray tell, gives you this Webster's dictionary-esk ability to give such a description?
2. In defense of older men (or older persons,for that matter), where did you and when did you become an authority?
Oh wait... was it daddy?
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 6:44pm.
Car doors: extra-strong butt cheeks.
hahahaha
Well, all I can add is he's an asshole.
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
P. J. O'Rourke
George Clooney and Brad Pitt have had an affair going on for years... doubt Angie cares as she has her own girlfriend fun on the side...
Submitted by lizardo911 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 6:10pm.
He's getting way old looking... I don't know why the young, pretty girls like him. Seems to me that he would have a shriveled old slimey grayish colored dick... Just isn't attracitve...
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You think? Men his age can still have very nice bodies if they take care of themselves - and very nice peens too.
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A recent applicant complained that TMcB demanded she show him her breasts so that he could assess her IQ and communication skills. TMcB is currently undergoing sensitivity training.
Car doors: extra-strong butt cheeks.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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"There was an accident and he did break his hand. He was not riding a motorcycle, it was not in Switzerland ... He was on his property in Italy and he shut the car door on his hand."
When I was 16, my brother shut my hand in the car door and it ripped off one of my finger nails. To the bed. I mean blood and nasty and pain and the hospital and bandages. It hurt worse than birth.
Years later, I'm reading about George Clooney. OH MY GOD, HE BUSTED HIS HAND. But, he and I are actually ALIKE!! Cause, like George, I ALSO was not in Switzerland!! I also was NOT riding a motorcycle!
So, the only difference I see here is: Nail vs. bone, Italy vs New York, best fucking doctors in Europe vs local doctor and... oh wait, he's an ACTOR and I'm a regular person.
Hmmm...jeez, what is it that made his injury so much more newsworthy than mine??
I KNOW!!! ITALY!
honey I don't even want to know where that hand has been
Submitted by cuchini on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 6:17pm.
i pity those poor italians for having these fucking hollywoods celebrities (madonna, him) invading their country..
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Yes. Add my parents and their fanny packs to that list.
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A recent applicant complained that TMcB demanded she show him her breasts so that he could assess her IQ and communication skills. TMcB is currently undergoing sensitivity training.
Choking the chicken is dangerous work.
i pity those poor italians for having these fucking hollywoods celebrities (madonna, him) invading their country...
He's getting way old looking... I don't know why the young, pretty girls like him. Seems to me that he would have a shriveled old slimey grayish colored dick... Just isn't attracitve...
Georgie should stick to boating on Lake Como with his hot male model "friend". No doors to crush hands, no cycle to fall off of, no spinal fluid to lose. He seems to be a lot luckier when he's out with the boy(s).
Submitted by kitten666 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 5:58pm
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It's possible. I did it one New Year's Eve many moons ago and broke a finger. Luckily I didn't feel a thing.
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A recent applicant complained that TMcB demanded she show him her breasts so that he could assess her IQ and communication skills. TMcB is currently undergoing sensitivity training.
My Stepmom's skanky niece slammed the car door on her own hand trying to run from the cops when she was 15. Cut off the tip of her finger too.
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Uh oh, Heaven is starting to take out Soccer Moms. - BRADIFUL BITCH 8/13/09
Damn I wish the Marx Brothers were still around.
That was some funny shit.
kitten 666 how dose someone slam thier own hand with a car door ? i have heard of slamming a car door on someone else's hand ..... she did it . fiesty italian women . he's probably tired of looking at her mug . this sounds fishy .
This could all have been avoided if they used a sling....
"Sometimes a bitch loses their balance and falls off the bed, taking your fist with them. It happens"
oh so true...
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she was clumsy, stupid and mean, but I wouldn't wish that death on a opossum...
kitten 666 i bet she slammed the car door on his hand ! LOL . i wonder what he did to her ? was he checking out some other girl's tushie ?
He slipped on a spilled bottle of Just for Men.
I bet he busted his hand up trying to get a gerbil out of Brady boy's ass.
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"I'm a black robot, motherfucker."
I hope I don't hurt my hand fervently flipping him the bird.
Wow, he managed to find a spokesperson just as smug and smarmy as himself. Although I do admit it's a wee bit refreshing
I hate it when reps say "The doctor has given him 30-40 years more to live" as you know that's when they die the next day...!