Cartoon Fruit Porn
Even cartoon fruits gotta get their fuck on, but a man in England isn't happy that they are doing it out in public and on the front of a candy wrapper. Simon Simpkins is madder than fish grease over the porny images on the wrappers for Maoam candies.
The wrappers feature a pervy lime, who we'll call Jon Gosselime, humping on a whory lemon and popping a couple of cherries. Simon's explanation of the wrappers is pretty hilarious. Dude is so proper! Simon cleared his throat, raised his pinky and told Metro, "The lime, who I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face. I demanded to see the shop manager and, during a heated exchange, my wife became quite distressed and had to sit down in the car park."
Um. Did she happen to sit on a vibrator that was lying in her backseat, because you know that's what she was doing in that car park! The only thing that was distressed was his wife's coochie, because she got the sexy itch down there after seeing those fruits going at it. Truth!
Haribo, who produces the candies, laughed off Simon's claims and said, "The jovial MAOAM man is very popular with fans, both young and old."
What is the big deal? It's just a lime (who looks more like a lima bean) munching on a cherry and squeezing the jizz out of a lemon. It's natural! Simon really needs to fuck a fruit and lighten up a bit.
lol those are some cute candys. i'd try those.
haha...which one of you was it? Only a degenerate porn addict would think of sex seeing that
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
G*D*mit, I miss Maxims' "Found Porn"
thanks MichaelK, please, more of this. I'm going to laugh all day, thank you, thank you, thank you!
The hell? This was done 5 years ago when some kids put a fake complaint letter on the 'net and a German newspaper didn't realize it was fake and caused a stir. Now this dude really complains? There are no words.
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/comments/1342/
I eat Maoam all the time and I have never noticed this!
I swear sometimes they make this shit up though. I can't believe with all the nudity we have in England already (page 3, topless sunbathing etc) some people are getting worked up over a lemon and lime on a sweet wrapper!
"Mr Simpkins of Pontefract, West Yorkshire, told The Sun: "The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter. "
Hurmph!! Bully bully! Hurmph!!!
Bwhahahahahh!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjzf67LFSJ8&feature=PlayList&p=EF675F4477...
Submitted by Tristram on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:31am.
I bet Simon's wife needed a sit-down because she's tired of Simon making an ass of himself in public.
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lol, yup, Simon needs to chill!
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the end...
this is weird. two weeks ago my husband came up with this. someone at his office had a bday partey and he took this sweeti home with him. he showed it to me, giggling like crazy ( never too old for that one) and i thought that this would be a bad joke.
allegedly haribo changed the package back in 2002.
so this is for real.
LOVE this story... who woulda thought the cartoons were having sex?!? Except, well NOW we do!!! moron... better get those bananas and cucumbers off the shelves pronto!
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pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK
Wow, I grew up with MAOAM and never even noticed (until now), as you'd expect from kids. Clearly, adult minds are the problem. ;)
The lime, who I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face. I demanded to see the shop manager and, during a heated exchange, my wife became quite distressed and had to sit down in the car park.
And after that they'll do a silly walk down the road - I swear to God, this sounds like dialogue from a Monty Python skit.
makes me feel kinda horny for the bunch of grapes in my fruit bowl. see ya later.
-------------------(my signature)
even dolls get cold in winter
at least stop mixing the fruits! ;>
PePaw has too much time on his hands.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Hahaha
To be more popular, they should've used the slutty "leaked" pictures of inbred horse teeth Hannah Montana instead... or maybe Katie Price's snatch+cellphone picture if they are so into "sex sells". All I see is what the complaining dude sees, fruits doing sexy times.
I honestly don't get the appeal of adding sexual innuendos in publicity unless it's a sex-related product like condoms. And even then, they could be funny and creative instead of creating straight up porn. Too bad that Haribo company didn't own it up and say "well, sex sells and we want to make shitloads of money". Cowards.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
@Fruit Fukken funtimes
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Do leave it out, knock it on the head, have a word and wind yer neck in you minty bastard...
Either this man is right or I haven't been with a man in a looong time...I'm thinkin' it's the second one.
I got one thing to say about old tighty mctightass,
fuck em if they cant take a joke!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Plecostomus on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 11:11am.
Submitted by Mother Superior on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 11:08am.
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Ach! That's not how Nightcrawler said it in the comic books ahehehe! I've been misled all these years!
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Don't trust the old man with the trenchcoat in the park, don't trust a pigoen with one leg, don't trust Nightcrawler! :D
Submitted by schlumpfgruen on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:48am.
Na und, Friedensreich Hundertwasser adoptiert doch auch Baeume! :)
Vom Melonenmann habe ich auch gehoert.
Und wenn man den Huehnern Gesangsstunden gibt, koennen die bestimmt auch kraehen!
TRANSLATION FOR THE GUYS WHO ARE TOO LAZY TO LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE:
So? Friedensreich Hundertwasser adopts trees too!
I've heard of the melon guy.
If you give singing lessons to hens, they'll be able to crow.
Submitted by Mother Superior on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 11:08am.
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Ach! That's not how Nightcrawler said it in the comic books ahehehe! I've been misled all these years!
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Bottom-feeder.
It's about time candy got its sexy back...the world has been a darker place since they stopped making Cherry Humps back in the day! I loved Cherry Humps!!
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Submitted by Plecostomus on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:53am.
Submitted by schlumpfgruen on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:48am.
ATTENTION PLEASE:
The above statement is about the hen fingering farmer and the guy who married a water melon,
so no need to feel trashed in a different language, that seems to be the feeling quite often.
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Ich verstehen.
/resumes stuffing face with kuchen
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Nice try. It's Ich verstehe. ;)
Kinky!
Coma Caca!!
They need to start selling this shit in the States...(do they already?)
I'd snatch them up and hand them out in church >:)
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`
Whores of a feather, trick the streets together!
LMAO Jon GosseLIME !!!!!
This whole fruit orgy is so funny! I am weeping!!!
*puts lemon, lime and cherries in a bowl. Adds a nice big yellow banana*
Submitted by schlumpfgruen on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:48am.
ATTENTION PLEASE:
The above statement is about the hen fingering farmer and the guy who married a water melon,
so no need to feel trashed in a different language, that seems to be the feeling quite often.
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Ich verstehen.
/resumes stuffing face with kuchen
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Bottom-feeder.
Recerend snorr on the jerry spinger show married this guy to his real doll..
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
P. J. O'Rourke
Submitted by schlumpfgruen on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:48am.
Wassermelone? I can speak German!
I looked at at the package before reading the story, and didn't notice anything pervy. Now....*attitude of intense concentration* Eh, Simon's a douche, plain and simple.
Betcha Simon has a huge library of unsavory kiddie "material".
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WISH GRANTED! >:)
myspace.com/draya23
Submitted by chowgirl69 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:41am.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:17am.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:13am.
CTH I was gonna say!
Ever had a Crunchie!?!?! OMG HEAVEN!
I love so many of the British candies, Smarties, Flake, Fruit Pastilles
CHOCLATE COVERED TURKISH DELIGHT
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We have most of those candies in Canada...NaaNaaNaaNuhNaaNaa!
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This is why I like living in Buffalo. Only twenty minutes to Canada. :)
@Mother Superior
Aber Hennen machen doch gar nciht "Kikerikiii". ;)
Besser fand ich aber den Typen, der eine Wassermelone geheiratet hat.
Das ist bisher meine Lieblingsgeschichte.
ATTENTION PLEASE:
The above statement is about the hen fingering farmer and the guy who married a water melon,
so no need to feel trashed in a different language, that seems to be the feeling quite often.
Submitted by chowgirl69 on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:41am.
we are three or so hours from the falls and I went several times a year with the rents as a child and we would stock the fuck up!
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
P. J. O'Rourke
chowgirl: so THAT'S What Ryan Jenkins was after...
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Kara DioYOUKILLEDPAULA! SCRAGS BITCHES! MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:17am.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:13am.
CTH I was gonna say!
Ever had a Crunchie!?!?! OMG HEAVEN!
I love so many of the British candies, Smarties, Flake, Fruit Pastilles
CHOCLATE COVERED TURKISH DELIGHT
**************************************
We have most of those candies in Canada...NaaNaaNaaNuhNaaNaa!
Submitted by Plecostomus on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:35am.
Oh, do let's give Simon a break, ladies. He's probably just letting off some frustrated sexual energy. After all, the closest I've ever come to necrophilia was having sex with an Englishwoman.
HEY NOW!
well, okay, I'm first generation american, but still, I'm a kinky little fucker!
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
P. J. O'Rourke
Submitted by madam s. on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:37am.
hahaha. I love the word "cross"; Americans rarely use it.
Tristram,
Cross words between men can give a lady the vapors.
____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
Oh, do let's give Simon a break, ladies. He's probably just letting off some frustrated sexual energy. After all, the closest I've ever come to necrophilia was having sex with an Englishwoman.
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Bottom-feeder.
I'm getting nervous, the news is either really slow or MK is sleeping off a drunk.
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
P. J. O'Rourke
hello,everyone!!
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You would have thought the Lime would have learned his lesson after the affair with the Coconut. Doctor?
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Where You Gonna Find a Good Man Like Me?
I bet Simon's wife needed a sit-down because she's tired of Simon making an ass of himself in public.
This makes me think of those hot dog and bun commercials that used to play at drive ins during intermission - where the hot dog boy would leap into the bun. Fruit's not the only perverted food in town.
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
It seems he also makes out with a strawberry, gets head from an orange and I do believe that raspberry is taking it up the *ahem!*
http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.tamba2.org.uk/pix/maoam...
(I'm still on strike:)
♥ Threadkilla!
As an Evil Overlord, I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that using such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117. #15
Submitted by madam s. on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:21am.
All of that English social uptightness and repression need some major sexual deviance to balance things out.
The Prince Albert theorem.
I fucking love English people.
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
Submitted by schlumpfgruen on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:22am.
@Mother Superior
I know, I just read it, but I was a little too challenged by finally writing something about Germany that#s not about some Farmer giving his hens the shocker or whatever. ;)
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Kikerikiiii! Das war 'ne tolle Geschichte, ne?
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 08/27/2009 - 10:19am.
I'm gonna pack my fucking bags and fly to England TODAY just so I can find that stupid bitch wife and fuck my boyfriend porn style right in front of her. Then I'll take a chainsaw to her neck and the world will be a better place.
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I'll do it for ya. You know, just because I'm already here.
;)