A Horsey Making An Ass Out Of Itself On Live Television
Spencer Pratt went through Brit Brit's trash can, pulled out her 2000 MTV VMAs outfit, brushed the Cheetos off, slid it over the factory-defected dildo that is Heidi Montag and pushed her out on the international stage during last night's Miss Universe pageant. He should've pushed her off the planet instead, because that was one of the biggest displays of fuckery I've every seen! This is why some people hate America!
You know, it was wrong of me to compare her to a dildo, because even used-up, ass dust-covered plastic fuck toys have more rhythm than this tranny pony!
If you took an elderly albino gorilla who was suffering from a serious case of Tourettes, got him drunk on the cheapest vodka, made him watch every episode The Hills, hit him over the head 12 times with a copper pot, spun him around 300 times while saying Spencer Pratt's name and then forced him to do this routine, he would still do a better job than Heidi Montag.
The only thing Heidi's "body language" is telling me is: FAIL.
And if you don't feel like making your brain bleed this early in the morning, just watch this video instead. It's the same thing sans Heidi's annoying ass face.
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be care····
Poor Heidi...she thinks it was fab.
She's not even Clydesdale material.
Poor Heidi...she thinks it was fab.
Poor Heidi...she thinks it was fab.
My friend recommended me a very interesting
Holy hell. My 6th grade drama club's Thriller zombie dance tribute was a masterpiece compared to this. I bad for her backup dancers.
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She wants her America back? Go tell that to the Indians.
Well, one thing is obvious, in lieu of no quotable fuck ups, Heidi, YOU WIN the disaster award of the evening.
However Kelly Rowland, her one armed dress, ugly thigh high boots and her bangs of fuck are a close runner up.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Now if she clomped around onstage with her feed-bag on, I'd be impressed!
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:33am.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:11am.
Horrible. Meanwhile, Spencer was probably backstage drooling over the contestants. Ugh.
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I thought Spencer was gay and Heidi's definition of an organism involves their fake and sloppy PDAs!!??!!
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Ewww. And please tell me she did NOT call it an organism.
Even more astonishing then the trainwreck above....how did the beautiful Miss Australia loose to Miss Venezuela?
Do they Latinas win Miss Universe every year? I feel like every time I watch this thing, a Latina wins.
Guess it in their genes?
I would have chosen the Aussie beauty, personally.
That was some tacky ass shit going on that stage.
Made Britney's VMA's comeback look like the performance of the year.
WOW-even less talent than I thought. hahahahahaha, did NOT think that was possible!
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:11am.
I don't dislike montag like so many do, but this is a good reminder of just how good britney is when she is on her game. That was some pretty bad dancing...
That's a good point. Let's take something good from this bad experience. Britney can't sing but she can dance (when she's not on something) and at least not all of her stage outfits look this cheap and unflattering (though that denim dress to match J.T.'s denim suit was horrendous).
Jimmy B! Where tha fuck you bin? There was shirtless Lautner a few weeks ago and I had nobody to appreciate it with.
On topic: Heidi singing sounds like she's huffing queefs. That is all.
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Sometimes we should wear other shoes and stand up and feel it by ourseleves. Thanks - PERLA
This is how they represent the US to the Universe? We are so getting invaded by evil ETs now. Thanks for that.
She can't dance, she can't hit her mark, she's wearing tennis shoes and she still can't handle her legs. The only thing she can do right is fondle her breasts and eye fuck the camera and even the camera pulled back from that. What a loser!!!
I decided to be very objective when watching this. I don't particularly like her so I thought I'd evaluate it as if she were an unknown (although, let's face it she's a nobody anyway). Nonetheless, this was pretty awful even fro a high school talent show performance. It just lacked passion and the choreography (though I'm guessing it's not entirely her fault--although you do have to take talent level into account) was pretty lame.
What the FUCK?!!!!!!?!??
Donald Trump needs to be slapped upside his combover for hiring this hot ass mess of a performance!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Even an untalented hack like this can get themselves on tv if they push hard enough. Sad.
My friend recommended me a very interesting place____billionaireromance .com____ It's where wealthy singles looking for someone to enjoy their wealthy lifestyle with:)
I can't believe that's what passes for entertainment nowadays. Heidi, I mean, the train crash was actually pretty cool.
i heard she has twenty or thirty 'organisms' per day.
lollllll.
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Submitted by Anonymous101 on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:33am.
I thought Spencer was gay and Heidi's definition of an organism involves their fake and sloppy PDAs!!??!!
She is a legend in her own mind! (And that blonde headed twit of a husband's brain as well!)
She can't dance, she has no timing, she can't sing, got a fake nose, fake boobs, fake hair, and possibly lip injections. Where is the fucking talent here? Is this the best Hollywood has to offer? No wonder NBC's ratings a suck so bad!!! Jeff Immelt and Jeff Zucker are the WORST TV executives I've ever seen.
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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I just watched the clip and the camera is never focused on her for more than a few secs. Those poor backup dancers. Whoever thought she would be a great talent for the pageant should be fired.
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Resistance is Futile!
You know you've hit rock bottom when your a back up dancer for Heidi Montag. Time to look into a career change folks.
Her uterus should be seized before she can reproduce and deliver further contributions to world miseries.
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." ~ Cordelia Chase
"Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable." ~ Mrs. White
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:11am.
Horrible. Meanwhile, Spencer was probably backstage drooling over the contestants. Ugh.
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I thought Spencer was gay and Heidi's definition of an organism involves their fake and sloppy PDAs!!??!!
Anyway, I just pray that these two don't know how to work a turkey baster.
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
My four year old has better dance moves than this plastic bimbo.
~~Becca
I really just said that, didn't I?
i want to laugh, but it's so clear this creature is having a seizure on stage...
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she was clumsy, stupid and mean, but I wouldn't wish that death on a opossum...
I guess they got what they wanted out of her. Everyone tuned in to watch this train wreck.
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"Who gone check me boo?"
-Crackhead cuntbitch Sheree, Real Housewives Atlanta
I never thought I'd live to see the day when this actually happened: Geri Jewell retuned to network television! Dancing and singing no less! Yayayay!
Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:29am.
Clearly, she has all the grace of a mail box, but none of the presence.
That comment is hilarious..
well played and thanks for the best laugh , my friend!!!
She's no Britney Spears! Geesh!
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"If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I`m f—king my dog!" - Gerard Butler
"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!" -unknown
Clearly, she has all the grace of a mail box, but none of the presence.
Someone take a .12 gauge and put that mare out of her misery.
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:25am.
Although she DID look hot.
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I was just going to ask if anyone actually found her hot or if it was just PR. She has a nice body, I guess, but I don't see the appeal.
You notice when they introduced her they said, "she's a celebrity," They didn't intro her as a singer and now we all know why. EYARK
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Are You A Goddess? If so...
LMAO! I had Farmville going in the background and the animal sounds really added to the performance. Heidi should seriously consider adding them to spice things up.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Wow.
That was some extra special dancing there.
And a very pretty outfit too!
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Wyle E
"If you don't have a full-time fuck partner, why not take a few part-time jobs to keep the genital area active in the community.""
I wonder how long it took them to get her to stop counting the dance steps out loud.
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Robert Palmer: Johnny and Mary
It reminded me of a cheap Aerobics workout video. Although she DID look hot.
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www.myspace.com/Dreamkilla26
tragic.
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"I HAVE NO MORE GOTTDAMN CUPCAKES!" 08.18.09 The delicate flower that is Mrs. Bradiful Bitch
WE WON'T STOP TILL WE FIND THE NEXT BRITNEY!
yeeah
that was pretty asstastic
whoever hired her should be fired
Heidi was just another shitty part of a shitty show. Lip synch much Heidi? Whoever thought she should be on the show probably also thought that the show was fantastic. Reality Check! It sucked. I used to love these pageants when I was a little girl and now they all totally suck. Maybe because now the women have fake tits and weaves and teeth veneers and are 90% plastic and 10% real.
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
I watched it live last night and I was cringing in embarrassment for her; she was truly horrible. She has no rhythm, her timing is off and oh...she can't fucking sing! Big FAIL to Donald Trump for allowing this fuckery!
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Live Your Life Like Brian Kinney Said:
No Excuses, No Apologies, No Regrets.
Surely the audience enthusiastic cheer is because the performance is over.
Auto-tunnnnnnnnnnne. Ugh.
How did she even get this gig? Was Latoya Jackson already booked for something else?
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Who was the idiot that booked her to perform? Can't sing, can't dance, she was AWFUL!
Horrible. Meanwhile, Spencer was probably backstage drooling over the contestants. Ugh.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 08/24/2009 - 8:06am.
*seizes*
*throws bag of oats*
*whinnies*
LOL!
SJP, Hilary Swank and Mr. Ed have issued a joint statement denouncing Heidi's performance and for damaging the image of horses worldwide.
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Where You Gonna Find a Good Man Like Me?