And Here Are Your Dancing Has-Beens!
The entire cast of the newest season of Dancing with the Has-Beens was just announced on Good Morning America and once again, the producers mostly got it wrong! There's no Spaghetti Cat, no Chicken Cutlets, no Maru, no Empress of Lucite, no Rojo Caliente, no Latarian Milton, no Detective La Toya Jackson and not even Kate Gosselin's possum head! Anytheresnohopeleftintheworld, here's the full cast. For every name you don't recognize, take a shot of liquid DayQuil and Tang. Drink up!
Macy Gray - Alien from the planet Uranus who is responsible for turning 1999 into the year that the song "I Try" never left my damn head!
Aaron Carter - The reigning Mr. Meth Face of the Universe!
Kelly Osbourne - Hipster Monchhichi!
Melissa Joan Hart - Former bff of Brit Brit Spears and star of the critically acclaimed masterpiece Holiday in Handcuffs!
Donny Osmond - Annoying person.
Kathy Ireland - Christian lamp shade designer.
Mya - Singer, actress, Broadway d-lister and Ghetto Superstar!
Mark Dascasos - The Chairman of Iron Chef America and the only bitch on this world who truly knows how to introduce a food ingredient!
Ashley Hamilton - The former Mr. Brenda Walsh and George Hamilton's son. And no, he doesn't look like a water-damaged leather coin purse...yet.
Michael Irvin - One of the "most successful wide receivers" in the history of the NFL. FYI: Tommy Girl is one of the "most successful wide receivers" in the history of everything.
Tom DeLay - Former house majority leader. Whatever that is.
Natalie Coughlin - Olympic swimming gold medalist.
Joanna Krupa - Model/actress.
Debi Mazar - Hot bitch.
Chuck Liddell - An Ultimate Fighting Champion star.
Louie Vito - A famous snowboarder-type.
I had to Google half of these bitches for a clue! I mean, even OctoMommy's uterus is more famous than some of these hos!
However, there are a few brights spot. I'm hoping amazon Macy Gray is the one who will slip, fall and crush Mop Head. Speaking of, who do you think Mop Head will use her black magic voodoo powers on first? My guess is MYA. Bitch better sleep with a Swiffer under her bed if she knows what's good for her.
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kelly is a never-been, of course....and her dancing is gonna be like cartoon elephants in disney's dumbo.
Debi Mazur, hot? Nooooooooo
I hate that stupid lisp
Ashley Hamilton was on The View or something last year & he was hilarious & cute!
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell? Say it ain't so!
We don't get this show in the UK but we do have our own (even lower-rent) version. I expect to see Jordan's current piece on the new season, as he too is a "cage fighter". Allegedly.
"I've got one word to say to you, Kim ..."
Mya better win! She can dance better than all those other Rhythmless Nation people! The Tom Cruise joke was funny! lmao
The Chairman is on it? I might have to watch it just for him. He's gorgeous! Yum
Whoa, Tom DeLay?
It's bad enough when a has-been entertainer shows up here but a former congressperson? Opps, meant to say a has-been congressperson. A Republican one at that!
Mya is a good dancer. Her odds of winning are great.
I got a love jones for your body & your skin tone...
@ TiredofthisCrap I've always thought Mya looked like a rodent of some sort. She reminds me of Fievel.
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Is Macy sitting on a bucket taking a dump onstage?
Gross either way.
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Damn I as going to vote for Debi and Macy, but that little chipmunk Mya is a trained dancer. I like her and shit, but is it cool to have a trained dancer on the show. I kinda like watching rhythmnless with two left feet hoes improve. I was mad as hell when they kicked Julianne and her boyfriend off, he started shaking that ass likea pro after a few weeks. Unless someone pull on folks heartstring,or the chipmunk gets one of these mystery ailments, she's the damn winner
Sucker bet. Mya is a trained dancer. The rest might as well try waiting for daywork outside of a paint store.
OMFG, I'm going to watch this shit just because of the Iron Chef guy!! Hot, hot, hot!!!!
TOM DeLAY?!?!?!?!
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" I guess the Americans with Disabilities Act needs to be revisited again to include “Republican” as a form of mental impairment because this has gotten out of hand. " ~~ Helen Philpot
This show is still on?
Like a year ago I read some interview with Melissa Joan Hart where she talked about how traumatized she was that she couldn't get on "Dancing with the Stars". She even had Mario Lopez go to the producers and ask for her to be on the show and they still said no. Then she added that she was boycotting the show because it hurt too much to watch it. How lame do you have to be to admit that to a national magazine? But I guess it worked...
I'd really like to see the murderer's edition.
Get O.J., Robert Blake, Phil Spector, Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson's Doctor, Courtney Love,
the guy from Prison Break, Prince Charles, Fidel Castro, Laura Bush, Mark David Chapman, Matthew Broderick, the Olsen twin that killed Heath Ledger and you've got yourself a great show.
Donny Osmond is going to take this bitch. He wasn't on the Donny and Marie Variety Hour for nothing.
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Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
NIIICE! Can't wait for Bruno to set his sights and paws on Aaron Carter and deliver more of his WTF innuendo. This season will definitely be on a time delay: Macy, Kelly, Chuck and Debi are known to take no sh**! Better put those judges behind glass and set up a penalty box. But if there is a god, Chuck will beat the crap out of maxim, and Kelly will take down Samantha. This is more like ths cast for Celebrity Deathmatch!
Wasn't Joanna Krupa the mega-bitch who was on that "Superstars" show? You know, theone who was just the worst sport EVER?
I never watch this show, but might just to see her go all postal on her partner - somehow I just know that he'll be the reason they're scores are low.
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
I can't stand the Osmond's.
and I STILL won't watch this shit.
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“I knew what sex was, but when I met you I entered into a whole new realm of understanding, from fantasy to love. Or to experience a day with 20 or 30 orgasms."
-Heidi Montag
Chuck Liddell best bust out the Krav Maga on Tom Delay with a quickness. I am watching it because of him!!!
Uh, I've never watched before, what happens on the show?
*Loves when MK does a role-call for anything*
Macy is going to stomp the other dancers to death with her giant feets.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Not that I really give two craps b/c I don't watch the show, but why the hell do they cast p'ple who already have a background in dance (mya and though i like her, debi)...isn't that missing the point? But that's assuming there is one.
Macy Gray?? What the hell woman, it didn't have to be like this.
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ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
Lovely fact about Mark Dascasos -
A friends four year old son was in the hospital battling brain cancer and not only did MD come to visit him, but he stayed several hours chatting with the mom waiting for the little boy to wake up (he had just had chemo that day). Plus, he sent a ton of autographed (from all the Iron Chefs) memorobilia.
Best yet --- he doesn't publicize it.
Hot and kind for the win!
aaron carter and lindsay lohan (when straight) are actually perfectly compatible, they should get back together again...
holy crap...at least i recognize some of the names this time, ha
wait, what?
Clarissa Darling or Debi Mazar FTW!
Submitted by mike on Mon, 08/17/2009 - 9:38am.
I hope Tom Delay falls and develops an excruciatingly painful lower back condition.
MIKE ~ yea, but health care won't cover douchery falls. It's considered an act of God.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
MMmmmmmmm, no thanks.
Kelly gets points in my book because she told Christina Aguil-whatever it is to fuck off, and blabbed about much of a diva whore she was in this hotel they were both staying in.
Koodooze.
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http://blindsmack.wordpress.com/
"Judging from some of the stories, the Wii remote is the deadliest and most destructive weapon ever created."
Hahaha, Kelly looks like her brother Jack in that picture.
The Chairman! I might just have to watch this season - maybe my fave foodie Alton will be there to cheer him on! My money's on him being in the top 3.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Tom Delay? Is that a joke? Actually, Kelly Osbourne is the bigger joke. Bitch's only talent is spending her parent's money.
I'm most positive Kelly Osbourne will get injured.
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Reveal your fate: www.celebpsychic.com
I have no idea who 50% of those people are!
Funny post, MK....LOL
BTW In the supermarket I just got a bottle of Madeira denied because I didn't have an ID with me. %@+&+*$!!!!!!!!!
Kelly Osfat is not a hasbeen.
Tedious never-was.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Holy shit, that first pic of Macy Gray! I thought it might be Jennifer Hudson with a serious case of post-partum depression. Yikes!
I never watch this show. I tried before, but couldn't do it.
I may give it a try this time because Donny is on. I had his pics all over my room when I was a kid and saw him, and his brothers, in concert in 1972.
Yeah, I'm goofy, and old.
ROFL @ the Donny Osmond - Annoying person!!!!
o and MK, I feel your pain, I used to love "I try"
Marc Dacascos is also one incredible martial artist. My money's on him to win.
yeah i don't know who over half these hos are, but i'm rooting for melissa just because she was on clarissa explains it all back in the day: http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=clarissa%20explains%20it%20all&u...
:)
in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! and support animal shelters<3
I hope Tom Delay falls and develops an excruciatingly painful lower back condition.
Don't worry - he's big on the Jesus.
can i just say i lovees the old photo of donny osmond. its the best
Debi is going to eat those bitches for lunch.
so when did Kathy Ireland go all religious? I must have missed that.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Kathy Ireland USED to be hot before she started bending over for the church.
Dancing w/ the Has Beens = this decade's Love Boat
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone