Khloe Kardashian Is A Graduate Of The Blohan School Of Excuses
I watch a lot of Cops, so I feel like I've heard every excuse in the book when a junkhead is caught with the bad shit in their purse, pockets or puss. But I've never heard this one before. Khloe Kardashian tells Life & Style that a vial of White Oprah's favorite nose duster found in her purse wasn't hers and she got creative when explaining how it got there.
Khloe said, "It was in a vial at our new store, Dash Miami, and at first I didn’t even know what it was. My employee was picking up a pile of clothes that customers had tried on, and it fell out. She called me into the dressing room, and it was in a little glass vial. I was leaving the dressing room, and a lot of customers walked in. I didn’t know what to do, so I threw it in my purse. I was like, 'I’ll dispose of this in a second,' and I went to help them. Then I forgot about it."
Yes, Khloe is slapping us in the face with her limp dick and telling us it's erect. Bitch should really teach a class at the Learning Annex on Creative Lie-Telling. Khloe is supposed to be the "smart" Kardashian (fart), so if she came across a vial of coke that wasn't hers, I'm sure she would either: a) hide it in her nose, b) hide it in her pee hole, c) hide it in her a-hole or d) EAT IT.
Khloe, who is currently on probation for a DUI, said if she could do it all over again, she'd run to the bathroom and pour it down the toilet. Translation: She'd run to the bathroom and pour it down her throat.
In other Kardashian news you can lose, Kourtney's mystery baby daddy has been revealed! The daddy is her ex-boyfriend Scott who is now her boyfriend. There you go. You can release your ass cheeks and let your no-no breathe again.
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Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 11:42am.
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Could be lots of things. Like cyanide.
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Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Mon, 06/15/2009
It's like trying to put Herpes in its place, when you're syphilis.
Yeah right Khloe, and this "white stuff" is exactly what helped you shed 100lbs. You still have another 100 to go so start sniffin' fatty.
While the other Kardassian girls are not beautiful they do have nice bodies. This one really got the short stick.
Submitted by gia on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 5:09pm.
Yeah, because drug addicts always lose their drugs. I am sure that happens all the time...
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I agree. If you've ever seen the bedroom of someone involved enough with coke to go toting it around, the floor is always spotless. No little white specs anywhere. Pieces of lint, popcorn off the ceiling, that kinda shit looks like crack pebbles from afar & catches the eye of your average coke/crackmonster quickly. No such thing as a whole VIAL of coke getting away from its owner like that. It just doesn't happen. Still kinda hot, in a trashy way, tho! She's got a face for porn.
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If you're not aroused, you're just not paying attention.
I can't get past the fact that she looks like a man
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Yeah, because drug addicts always lose their drugs. I am sure that happens all the time...
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?
Argh..
I'm surprised she didn't eat it since she puts anything in her mouth.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
Submitted by Disraeli_Ears on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 11:33am.
Being the "smart" Kardashian sister is akin to being the "least-bloated" Baldwin brother.
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LOL!
My father in law is a recover crack addict.lol. very sad.One day his girlfriend who is still a crack head was acting all high and mighty so i asked her what was up?she said that she was proud of him because supposedly he found a baggy of crack rocks in front of his business and didn't smoke it up but destroyed it.LMAO.. yea right, a few days later he was missing for like a week.LMAO.SO THAT OHH I JUST FOUND IT EXCUSE ONLY WORKS FOR PEOPLE THAT REALLY DONT KNOW YOU OR FOR FAMILY THAT TRY TO EXCEPT EXCUSES FROM YOU SO THEY CAN SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT.
**You sound like your from London**
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 12:54pm.
I'd have thrown the vial out the front door and watched the crackheads fight each other for it.
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LOL!! That would've been great :)
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
or (e)...blame it on a black guy...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
Sure tell us anything Khole. This is all publicity for that new crappy show.
I got a love jones for your body & your skin tone...
i choose letter D, please.
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
Why is this fug turd in the news?
Could it be this has been her "weight-loss" trick? A little dab will do ya..
www.hotmenonly.net
I can't believe Kourtney got back together with that douchebag Scott, let alone is having his baby. Pretty effing stupid.
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
I totally believe her...White Oprah was trying on all those clothes.
What store manager walks around with her purse while working? LIES!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd have thrown the vial out the front door and watched the crackheads fight each other for it.
Submitted by SpiceDong: "And where the fuck can one find lollypops with rhinestones on the stick?"
Probably at Dash Miami in a glass bowl by the cash register. For $15 each.
who the FUCK puts coke in a fucking glass vial.
fucking amatuer.
that story is LAME but its like automatic when you get arrested and shit found on you to just blurt out "NOT MINE" It always seems to make sense at the time.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Yeah, the first thing I do when I stumble upon an unidentifiable vial of white powder is to hide it in my purse. Seriously, being a science geek and having never seen cocaine before, I would probably assume it was some kind of biological weapon in powder form. Then I would freak out and drive straight to the ER where they would have to put me on IV Ativan drip.
Khloe is gonna fit in on South Beach juuust fine.
well im pretty sure people dont "forget" a vial of cocaineWTF?
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
I want to say she's pretty but there's something about her face that's very "Chyna"
Submitted by Race Bannon on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 12:34pm.
LOL@Disraeli Ears! Don't forget drinking coffee throughout the day.
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Haha! But yea, my grandparents would visit when I still lived at home and they would be up sooooo early in the morning...made me think that getting old is not worth it.
And my 14 year old Lab (lives with Mom), who is the equivalent of a 90 year old woman basically, has started waking my Mom up at like 3:30 in the morning to feed her breakfast. So it's not just a human thing, apparently.
Old age and treachery will overcome youth and exuberance every time! I'm 50 and I known a DUMBFUCK when I see one! * points two fingers at eyes and then one at you know who *
LOL@Disraeli Ears! Don't forget drinking coffee throughout the day.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 12:28pm.
I will be 39 in 3 months. Someone get me my walker.
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Wouldn't you prefer a Rascal instead?
*charges battery*
For her fantasy to work, you've got to believe that she'd never seen cocaine before, didn't know what it was and had no idea what a small glass jar with white powder inside could signify. Excuse me, but I've got to call BULLSHIT on her lame ass limp dick excuse...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Hey you old M.F's, free blood pressure and cholesterol tests today at Duane Reade, can I pick any of you whores up in teh Senior Citizen Transport Van along the way?
Yes, yes. I'm a professional Hollywood Ho and I've NEVER seen a vial of white stuff before! How was I supposed to know?! Duh.
♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 12:20pm.
Yep, I remember when I used to think 50 was OLD, now I'm in my 30's and, well....50 aint that old.
And I will be over using the word AINT today just for Migraine Sally.
*evil grin*
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Ugggh! It just makes you sound ignorant though! Which I know for a fact that you are not!
I forgot what we were talking about. Did I ever tell you about the time way back in 1986 when I saw the Clash? Yeah, it was a mighty fine thing. Way back then, see, we did "slam dancing," not like you kids nowadays with your pole dancing and your gyrating and grindhouse or whatever you call it.
It that the phone or the doorbell?
*wanders off*
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
I'm 34...that's why I get up for breakfast at 3:30 a.m. and frequently talk about the weather.
Shut up you smug whores.
Stares at dog, ringless finger, shanks Duds.
Fuck me for repeating this.
EH- It isn't unthinkable for someone in their 20's to have a stroke or heartattack dumb dumb. It has nothing to do with age, it has everything to do with how well you take care of yourself, your heredity and your environmental factors.
I thought you'd like this Race:
http://gawker.com/5336741/its-time-to-come-out-of-the-cartoon-closet/gal...
I will be 39 in 3 months. Someone get me my walker.
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What you gonna do? You want to get down?
- Kool & The Gang
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 12:22pm.
UNLESSSSS, you are a 37 yo man trying to be 18 by WAKEBOARDING!
*rubs big gash on side of head from last night*
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"Did you KNOW it is snowing in my room, god dammit!?"
EH- 30 is supposed to be old? Guess I will add some metamucil to my ExLaxatini while I join Larry King for post cataract surgery high jinx with an Aricept patch.
Honey child, trust me, you may thing being early 20's will last forever, but 30 is knocking at your door loudly before you know it. Trust me.
So, Farrah, you know each other well then. I lived with Mr. IV for three years before we got married, and we've been hitched for 18 years!
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 12:21pm.
Ahh, congrats Farrah and Thorny! I always forget there are dlisters who actually know each other IRL.
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thank you, babes! not only we know each other IRL, lol, we actually LIVE together!
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www.walkms.org
help me regain my life! as you burn calories.
When I was 33 I was having my second kid. Now he's started high school.
Clearly, I must get membership in AARP and be fitted for orthopedic shoes. And put my hair in a bun-net! And wave my cane angrily.
I could prolly be all y'alls grandmamma.
*slaps on Aricept patch*
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Submitted by Raul Duke on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 12:21pm.
HAHAHAHHAAH!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 08/13/2009 - 12:20pm.
Yep, I remember when I used to think 50 was OLD, now I'm in my 30's and, well....50 aint that old.
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I hate those commercials where the people are like heart attack at 53?!!? How could this happen?!?!?? Like its un fucking thinkable that a 50 year old could have a heart attack....re-dick-ulous!
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Man, I got Summer hatin' on me cause I'm hotter than the sun; Got Spring hatin' on me cause I ain't never sprung; Winter hatin' on me cause I'm colder than ya'll; And I would never, I would never, I would
Unless you are a fucking olympic gymnast, 30 is not old period. _____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."