A Bunch of Drunk Bitches!
Last night, Jessica Simpson and her friends celebrated Ken Pave's 56th birthday (I'm making up numbers) by getting wasted. They are doing the right thing, because that's what you do on birthdays, holidays, weddings, funerals, during labor, weekends, weekdays, morning times, etc... etc....
These pictures are kind of hilarious, because it seems like chaos is happening all around them and Jessica's boozed up ass doesn't even notice! I mean, water was thrown and Ken Paves looks like he's got the angries in a bad way. Ken's glitter hole is whistling like a kettle, he's so mad! And there's Jessica: "Doo doo dooo doo doooo dooo dooo doo. O look, it's a purdy waterfall... doo dooo dooo dooo."
Bitch really does have it good. Drunk or sober, she never knows what the hell is going on with anything! Can you imagine always being dazed in the head without having to snort one line of the bad shit?! They say ignorance is bliss. Well, Jessica Simpson is bliss too.
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I think she looks pretty with less makeup but nothing will stop her from looking dumb.
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I had a vision of love, and it was all that you turned out to be
- Mariah Carey
Yuk. Pic number 4 is kinda gross. She needs to quit drinking and tanning pronto!
I am so SICK of seeing that ratty LV bag she carries....MY GOD ...if youre bankrupt at LEAST go get a NEW afforable type purse...say COACH or DOONEY, jeez uz youve had that thing since Nick...think of the hair extensions that have accumulated on the bottom of that thing by now...can you hear me puking from there? Ish I just had a visual of some of the horse hair wrapped around her 5 year old lip gloss....
With Love,
Gigi
www.pitt-news.blogspot.com
pitiful
She looks a little wild here but you can tell she is a naturally pretty woman. If people never wore so much make-up in the first place then we wouldn't be shocked when we saw them without it. Ha ha overall the pics are funny. ;'D
"do unto others as you want done unto you "
Pic #4 is now my new screen saver...
thank you dlisted
and look at pic #1..
bitch in the back is giving some mean "face"..
Work It Girl!!!!!
Eewwww...She is kind of ugly without more make up...It looks like she has on some concealer & a little mascara here, definitely not nearly enough. I occassionally long to be that blissfully ignorant, I bet it can be quite calming...Having millions of dollars along with it must also be a great relief.
Bitch is fuckin chewed!!LMAO Holy uglies in a few of those shots. I like 4th thumbnail man face shot.
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 1:49am.
Islandgirl, you fucken hot piece of ass!!! ♥
Time difference sucks donkey cock! I'm all prepped to get pished and all you hwores are calling it a night!
OT: She managed to at least keep the vomit out of her hair! Ken must have reeaally earned his paycheck that night. I quite like Jessucker dranked, probably coz she's too sloshed to pose and fake smile?
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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 1:43am.
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Damn you, time difference!! YOU HOR!!! ♥
Although you'd think that she'd have better hair, seeing as how she has a full time "hairdresser" on her payroll.
She can't be THAT drunk, she's still wearing all her clothes. Pfft.. amateur.
Speaking of drunked, Imma gonna get Jessica Simpsoned tonight. To the eyeballs.
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i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
I think it is hilarious how people in this photo and other people in photos that are in similar situations, put a fucking hand up to somehow shield them from the flashes and cameras.
http://rantbomb.com/
she looks good drunk
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
lololol, yeah! there is "seriously" a Spencer Pratt in the fifth photo, lol, fucking hilarious!
http://rantbomb.com/
The fourth picture man....she looks awful. She looks like the burnt out Juicy couture wearing rich trash you find in Orange County over the weekends in malls...
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Who ever thinks that Jessica looks good without make up must have been drinking from the same bottle as that sloppy drunk. Are you kidding? She looks EXCATLY like Papa Joe...just with a better rug.
She is the most desperate person alive, that is probably why I can't stand her.
thumbnail 4 is especially terrifying...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
Ken Paves is in fact the Crypt Keeper moonlighting.
lol...ooooh goodness.
Coma Caca!!
Now that she's drunk, I've never found her more attractive ♥♥♥
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Jessica was supposed to blow a kiss...but she couldn't his zipper open.
I always was a sucker for big brown eyes...
I heart Dlisted.
~Zoe
http://www.myspace.com/misszoesimone
I ♥ drunk, stupid blondes with big tits!!!!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by umdieecke on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 9:40pm.
There's is seriously a SPENCER PRATT in the 5th photo
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Ha! Maybe he's making her next video.
♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics
Since she's ALWAYS with him, why doesn't she marry Ken Paves and be done with it?
He's what?
Oh well, even then it has to be better than her other relationships!
There's is seriously a SPENCER PRATT in the 5th photo, where her had is being grabbed
She must have sweated all her make-up off.
This picture is in the dictionary under "dumbass."
Did she get drunk before she went out and forget her makeup? Altho - she's a pretty girl, at least. But, yeah. But now that I think of it - good for her! Yeah, that's right - I'm giving Jessie a KADOOZE! She's doesn't looked like a 40 year old secretary whose favourite pass time is playing billiards when she takes her makeup off (or, ok fine, in "natural" makeup perhaps)! That's pretty damn amazing to me!
Now, if she could only stop making duh-face.
♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics
ken seems like a really good friend. Poor jessica. she's a great looking girl, she just doesn't have any self-esteem, i don't think.
I mean why get all drunk and sloppy after breaking up with a guy? it just makes her look how she feels i guess. but she doesn't have to let the bastard know that!
Wow, she looks like an Innsmouth townie when shes drunk.
One of the almost human ones that do the towns dealings with the outside world
Submitted by Rockwell on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 6:26pm.
Damn, she is FUG without makeup…
I'm pretty sure she's wearing at least some makeup.
Damn, she is FUG without makeup………..and is dead behind the eyes. Very, very average looking with a permanent case of the ‘tards.
I can’t believe how this mental midget and her family have carved out “careers” with NO DISCERNIBLE talent whatsoever. How do people this fucking dumb continue to generate cash? I’m completely perplexed. One of the things I hate about people in this country: they spend money buying shit that these morons put their names on like it’s manna from heaven.
Damn, she's in hurr-durr world. It's all right to drink away a breakup but DO IT AT HOME if you're famous!
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
TOOOOOOONNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
I'd give my left labia to punch Ken Paves in the face.
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ISMU, I am in complete and utter agreement. I don't know why but I hate this guy. It's like he's fucking attached at her hip all the time.
cmes
She really is the dumbest looking person alive. She always has the most stupid look on her face, I think it's something to do with the duck bill lips.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 4:33pm
Tell it sister! I will be 'that girl' tonight too.
*high fives MissJaneTexas*
Drunk or sober, she's a pathetic waste of oxygen.
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“Let's go piss off some heterosexuals.”
--Brian Kinney
Sorry can't judge her...I've sooooooooooooooooooooooo been that girl. *cough* last night *cough*
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*Blondeface*
How is it her face looks drunk but her eyes aren't bloodshot?
I wanted to like her.
Actually, I wanted to NOT hate her, because she's useless.
This makes both things really hard.
The hell with this washed out bitch. Time for this pathetic fucker to be put out of her misery(aka: be ignored by the media.)
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Chungking - Stay Up Forever
I've been that drunk girl before. And I'm going to be that drunk girl tonight. I hope it's not too hot out or my fake tan is going to leave another "crime scene" outline somewhere.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 4:14pm.
Because she was fukcing the cast of Jackass
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LOL!
Wow, the 4th thumbnail of her is really hideous. She best start wearing the sunscreen soon cuz she already has major sundamaged skin....yuck!
I have to say though, imagine being surrounded by all these people?! I wouldn't be able to deal with that shit. All these assholes breathing down my neck, flashes, shouting, etc, etc,. Hell. NO.
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 4:12pm.
Director John Hughes has died. RIP dude!
that sucks so much ass. there goes the eighties, farrah, MJ, now this.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Her eyes! Eeek. They're putting me in a dumb-bell trance.
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