Kate Gosselin Got Herself A Maryland Bachelorette Party Palace!
There's a new possum headquarters! Radar reports that Kate Gosselin is in the process of buying a condom (typo and its fits) in Rockville, MD. Apparently, Kate's rumored fuck time partner, her bodyguard Steve, also lives around those parts.
Kate and her possum friend will stay in Maryland whenever Jon is taking care of the child army in Pennsylvania. When Kate is in Pennsylvania, Jon will go back to NYC. Basically, they don't even want to be in the same state as each other. Jon's freshly grown huevos can appreciate that.
This should be a warning to Maryland! Kate's rabid possum will soon be running rampant through your parts! Put your men on lockdown, because it will be going directly for their nutsacks! It won't stop until it has gobbled up every last testi-sack! Just to be safe, you should take a page out of Tony Romo's asshole playbook and post this sign everywhere: "RED ALERT!!! MARYLAND HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO ITS LIST OF THINGS ALLOWED IN....KATE'S RABID POSSUM HAIR IS NOT ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS."
Aw. I shouldn't say that. Kate's possum hair just wants to be pet. You should give it a chance. However, if it starts growling at your ass, bust out of there!
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BITCH NEEDS A MAKE-OVER
Rockville MD is the most random place for her to move. Why not just stay in PA near her KIDS? What connection does she have to MD, other than that bodyguard who will most likely never leave his wife and kids for her?
So so bizarre.
I'm a native Marylander and I have to echo everyone -- Rockville sucks! With her money, she should move to Potomac, or at least Bethesda.
Rockville MD is nothing but crappy strip malls !!!!!!!! Yuck!!!!!
Jon gets glamourous NYC and she gets Maryland, lovely.
I think it's obvious that these fools make two much money. Just because they're divorced, they should buy homes in different states so they won't have to see each other? What the fuck is up with these idiots? Jon's dumbass should of been like every other divorced dad and bought a home his kids could stay in. Greedy wankers
Rockville? Please, bitch. It's overcrowded with malls, nail joints and chain restaurants...a Kate Gosselin kinda place, now that I think about it.
Submitted by mike on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 7:17pm.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:59pm.
Submitted by Sibsi on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:55pm.
Great rant! Seriously, TLC should stand for "Televised Losers Channel".
Don't forget A&E, which was once known as the Arts & Entertainment Channel, but now features highbrow programming such as Chriss Angel: Mindfreak, and Dog the Bounty Hunter.
And what about The History Channel? Every time I scroll through the listings, they're playing something about ghosts, or UFOs, or The Loch Ness Monster, or some Biblical b.s. Nice take on "history".
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I know! HS used to be one of my favorite channels. Now that our (well, Brazil's) cartoon network doesn't air Adult Swim anymore, I don't watch TV at all.
Except for soccer, that is. But no more cable for me.
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"Don't be afraid. I'm right behind you. Using you as a shield."
Submitted by mike on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 7:17pm.
LOL! So true about those other channels. As for the History Channel, don't forget Hitler. He's big on there.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
My question is: Why is she moving so far away from her kids? What if there was an emergency? Wouldn't she want to live closer....?
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
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Submitted by Deb on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:59pm.
Submitted by Sibsi on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:55pm.
Great rant! Seriously, TLC should stand for "Televised Losers Channel".
Don't forget A&E, which was once known as the Arts & Entertainment Channel, but now features highbrow programming such as Chriss Angel: Mindfreak, and Dog the Bounty Hunter.
And what about The History Channel? Every time I scroll through the listings, they're playing something about ghosts, or UFOs, or The Loch Ness Monster, or some Biblical b.s. Nice take on "history".
Bitch! Stay out of my state!!!
No cunts are welcome.
First Coco invades Maryland, now Kate???
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:35pm.
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I must protest!
Rape is not a joke nor is it entertaining.
It is a vicious crime of demeaning control.
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It can be funny, as long as the joke is on the rapist. I just find it odd that he hates a complete stranger so much that he wishes she was raped. I haven't seen the show, but can she incite that much scorn?
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"Don't be afraid. I'm right behind you. Using you as a shield."
0O0O SHIT NO thats wayyy to close to me!
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I don't need SEX life FUCKS me whenever it can!
I never watched that nonsense and wondered why all the hoopla with a woman that impregnated herself with 6 kids and thinking that will fun and funny. How the husband thought this would be great in having 8 kids running around. I don't understand why the body guard want to fuck a used up pussy. No pussy is better or just gassing her head to get some money? A 70 year old client of mine said she stopped watching because she was so nasty to the husband. She had to be cranky with 8 kids and she probally didn't suck his cock after taking care of the kids. Does he think by running away to nyc would make his problems go away, ex, kids? How much money will he hav to pay her to take care of those kids. If Kelis gets $55,000
for one kid how much this fool is going to pay for 8 kids and to pay some chick to suck on his cock?
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
No, no, NO! Maryland is too close to where I live!
BTW, what is up with her hair, seriously? I mean, the spikes in the back. Her haircut would look normal if that part wasn't there. WTF?
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“Let's go piss off some heterosexuals.”
--Brian Kinney
Another reason to "Don't go back to Rockville" thank you REM!
Maybe she wants to be close to the White Flint Mall??
-if the shoe fits, you're doing it wrong--
Submitted by Sibsi on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:55pm.
Great rant! Seriously, TLC should stand for "Televised Losers Channel".
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Sibsi on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:55pm.
Why the fuck is The Learning Channel showing us 'reality' tv nowadays instead of good, educational documentaries and such?
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We're certainly being schooled, aren't we?
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Bottom-feeder.
Deb, you're spot on as usual.
Why the fuck is The Learning Channel showing us 'reality' tv nowadays instead of good, educational documentaries and such?
Fuck them! I have not watched a show they feature since they started doing the retarded house flipping shows, the ridiculous tatoo bullshit show too and the numerous candid reality shows following retarded families.
HATE!
/rant off.
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Chungking - Let The Love In
Now even more reason to hate Rockville.
I think she's inching her way towards The White House.
Oh, but the Gosselins DO share a state: the perpetual state of Shameless Stupidity.
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Bottom-feeder.
Seriously? Wtf? I'm just too peeved to even comprehend this fuckery.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
I saw commercials for the new episode in August and it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious that her handlers read everything online and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious that they have made Kate start smiling so she isn't the "Bitch"
Even the paps got pics of her recently smiling and bitch don't smile - plain and simple. Even when the cunt was happy because her kids did something for her, or because someone made a joke, bitch didn't smile.
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http://blindsmack.wordpress.com/
"Judging from some of the stories, the Wii remote is the deadliest and most destructive weapon ever created."
"Basically, they don't even want to be in the same state as each other".
Apparently, they also don't want to be in the same state as their kids unless they have to. Sad.
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" . . . this is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:27pm.
A nasy Kunt, needing a rape,
Bound with electrical tape
Will cause quite a din
When you stick it in
And leave all her Kunt holes agape.
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I must protest!
Rape is not a joke nor is it entertaining.
It is a vicious crime of demeaning control.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Rockville is the shitstain of the DC suburbs.
Maybe TLC suggested it. You know they will have to get two more crews, so they can cover the dreary ignorance of this family from three states!
The Learning Channel my ass. What do we learn from Jon and Kate that enriches our lives? Even a free pass to say "cunt" every time we see Kate gets old.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I don't know how any man with another option whatsoever would touch this bitch. She comes with a fucking clown car uterus of baggage and you can tell by looking at her that she probably sucks in bed.
Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:14pm.
Kunt Gosselin's disgusting hair should be shorn, along with her scalp. I would love nothing more than to see this bald bitch shrieking with agony as the she clutches the bloody remnants of her ugly fucking bitch head. Whack that hatchet-faced bitch with a tack hammer and fry up her face in a skillet. I (along with many other people, I am sure) would pay good money to see this bitch dead. Death to the demoness, Kunt Gosselin!!!
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DAYUM! I'm glad I don't watch that show... What about her husband? Is he as douchey as he looks?
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"Don't be afraid. I'm right behind you. Using you as a shield."
Can't wait for the inevitable (is that spelled right? I'm on my second gin & tonic) slew of "Mommy Dearest" type memoirs her litter will produce once they're no longer financially dependent on her and douchebag.
Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 07/28/2009 -
Death to the demoness, Kunt Gosselin!!!
kunt gosselin is gonna be the next demon du jour on TrueBlood.
I totally can picture a silhouette of the kunt doo lurking in the woods ready to attack Sookie
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"Yes, as far as shitty music goes Michael Jackson made the best"- Howard Stern
Bad hair, perpetual cunt-face. Yeah, Kate's a real prize. But then again, Jon isn't much better.
I swear they're faking this shit for attention and ratings when the crappy ass show comes back.
Freaks. So the children live in Pennsylvania and the parents fly in from other states for parenting chores?
Submitted by Henry Louis Gates Jr on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:13pm.
LOL
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:05pm.
Don't think for one second Kate is not going to fight for custody of Jon's newly grown huevos. She lopped off the first pair and wore them around her neck for a reason...Jon, you've been warned...
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The new pair will be made into darling little earrings.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:14pm.
lol!
Submitted by TEE on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:00pm.
Everytime I see a pic of her I wonder if she is a good lay? I mean I know she's bitchy and all, but just think after a few drinks she must get wild right? I must be a total perve But i can soo imagine her deep throating with her eyes buldging out. With the right man dominating her anything is possible, right?
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Apparently you don't watch the show hahahahaha. She is a germaphobe. Mix germaphobe with royal cuntress = even if bitch was on a date rape drug she would suck at fucking. She probably keeps a washrag and a bottle of Purel next to the bed. There can be no mouth touching anything, and penises must be thoroughly sanitized before it enters.
God I hate this cunt.
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http://blindsmack.wordpress.com/
"Judging from some of the stories, the Wii remote is the deadliest and most destructive weapon ever created."
Where's Petrucchio when we need him?
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Kunt Gosselin's disgusting hair should be shorn, along with her scalp. I would love nothing more than to see this bald bitch shrieking with agony as the she clutches the bloody remnants of her ugly fucking bitch head. Whack that hatchet-faced bitch with a tack hammer and fry up her face in a skillet. I (along with many other people, I am sure) would pay good money to see this bitch dead. Death to the demoness, Kunt Gosselin!!!
Where's the African American families having 8 kids at one time on tv. Oh yeah, America would lovvvvve that wouldn't they? Shit, let me know TLC if you need one, i'll axks around!
But no TLC won't do that. There'd even be more baby-daddies which means more drama which means higher ratings, yet STILL the RACIST "Learning Channel" will not air it! Goddamn you Amerikkka!
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"I'll speak with your MAMA outside"
Still clinging to that hair choice I see. Silly bitch.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"What drawer?". "The KNIFE drawer"
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Submitted by NaNoop on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:05pm.
What asshats.
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(hee hee hee)
xoxoxoxo
hugs y'all.
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
Submitted by TEE on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:00pm.
Everytime I see a pic of her I wonder if she is a good lay? I mean I know she's bitchy and all, but just think after a few drinks she must get wild right? I must be a total perve But i can soo imagine her deep throating with her eyes buldging out. With the right man dominating her anything is possible, right?
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Guess it depends if he likes to play possum.
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The only way to have a friend is to be one~R.W.E.
Submitted by BlueOrchid on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:00pm.
Wow, these immature fuckheads, taking planes all over the goddamn place because they can't share a fucking state.
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WORD! they make me sick, I wish I could send back the damn dvd I bought of them from the first season with a scathing note, and then I'd kidnap a couple of those rugrats on the way out! LOL
MK you are fucking hysterical with that note from Tony Romo/MD
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
her dye job is horrendous.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 6:05pm.
Don't think for one second Kate is not going to fight for custody of Jon's newly grown huevos. She lopped off the first pair and wore them around her neck for a reason...Jon, you've been warned...
LOL
What asshats.
Don't think for one second Kate is not going to fight for custody of Jon's newly grown huevos. She lopped off the first pair and wore them around her neck for a reason...Jon, you've been warned...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Gotta love part time parenting... why can't these morons stay in one state?