Speaking Of Stank Ass.....
Got an ass so stanky that it makes flies commit mass suicide (don't look at me)? Got a pair of feet so rank that all your socks disappear from your drawer in the middle of the night? Got a coochie so rancid that the Department of Sanitation declared it a toxic waste zone (Paris, this one goes out to you)?
If you answered yes to one of those questions and are allergic to water and soap, this product is for you! It's called the Aspray and it's like Fabreeze for your bits! Apparently, this is a real-life product created by someone named Doc Bottoms (which is also one of Tommy Girl's pet names).
I'll skip this shit and just stick to shoving a Little Tree up my ass when my stuff gets too musty.
Also, I hope that in the sequel to this infomercial, they explore the special relationship between the plumbers at the 0:07 mark. Brokeback Pipes!
VIA Gawker
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Is it wrong for a man lto have sugar baby?? you know it is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services c ome out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship..like !!!.----SugarsCupid. C O M----what will the world be??
...I am in awe.
Actually, this is nothing new, at least concept-wise. According to "The Encylopedia of Bad Taste" by Jane and Michael Stern (which should be every Dlister's bible), the advent of FDS (Feminine Deodorant Spray) set off an avalanche of "other" deodorants.
For some reason, I started thinking of that ghastly old air-freshener known as "Odors Away." Which my younger brother, as a tot, called "Odies Away."
And did anyone else, before watching the commercial, read the name of the product as "Ass-spray?"
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
Re:
I must be simpley fucking old, but I remember when you would SHOWER, BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND APPLY DEODERANT.
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Well, I don't know either, Chrissy, but if I were you, I'd use a spell checker, honey-buns.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
I kinda liked ole Lanny, he was cute...especially with that little Parkinson's shake of the head when he was finished with his spiel. Adorable.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
Am the only one remembering that fake SNL commercial with Kevin Nealon about a product called Ass Don't Smell from waaay back? The future is so often predicted by absurd comedy it's scary.
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There's the door, spaceman.
That is just plain nasty. That part where he was spraying it on some boxer shorts--if they stink, that's a hint it's time to wash them. I suppose if you are homeless and don't have regular bathing facilities, this might be a good idea. Otherwise, soap and hot water. You don't need much more than that.
I'm afraid lazy asses will stop taking their monthly shower after buying this shit..hazard alert!!
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
This is just WRONG!!! I see the only people buying this shit is people so fat they can't wipe their asses properly or true whores who need to keep their shit fresh.
Either way. NASTY!
This is a great idea except some people would need tub-fulls of this instead of a little spray bottle. Especially people who don't wash their clothes. There's only so much that perfume can cover up.
This would be the perfect gift for Kim. I'm all for sending her a months supply.
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://www.rantsthoughtsmerde.com/2009/07/kim-kardashian-un-bushed.html
EWW ........beastly butt odor, damn that is nauseating.
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"Au con-fucking-traire!"
We make sprays for beastly butt odor..God Bless America!
On another note, my ex and I saw a remixed version of the Slap Chop commercial (minus the Breakin' scenes) on TV today..kinda desperate if you as me, Billy Mays didn't need to remix shit..he just knew how to sell.
I doubt this is real.
The bad acting of the worker dude who they 'interview' gave it away :)
doc bottoms is tops....there's room for him
in mighty putty world with billy mayes gone but
I notice that sullivan shark has moved right in...
like shazaaaaamWOW!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
no but i do have a cyst on the back of my head but I can't go to the doctor
till I get back from l.a. thursday
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
A Effing MAZING I am so getting tons of these and putting them in all of families christmas stockings
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:16pm.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:56pm.
I've actually had to get off an elevator 'cause some lady had so much perfume on...I felt like I couldn't breathe.
*
I've had the pleasure of asking someone to leave a meeting due to their UNBELIEVABLE amounts of perfume.... in a scent free building no less.
god I loved doing that.
I mean really - was she expecting to attract a mate in a status update meeting? really?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"What drawer?". "The KNIFE drawer"
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/futurepigeon/video/x9wcqu_psycho-one-oh-...
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9wd0k_psycho-one-oh-four-knife
LOL @ 'special relationship' broke back plumbers!!!!
Thank God... something for my stank parts!
twihards, now you know what to gift wrap for R-PattZ
And Terence Howard just ordered a truck load...
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
I really hoped this was fake, but alas, they have a real website...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
A little FDS, a moist towelette, and, if you need help grasping, one of these:
http://www.freedomwand.com/
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Before I clicked on the video, I assumed this lovely product was pronounced "ASS-spray" and that they had removed the extra "s" purposely.
And, regarding too much perfume.
we were taught to spay it into the air and then walk under it.
we never smelled like whores, ever, using that method.
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Fucka doodle-do.
i can't wait to spray this on my cooch area...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
I must be simpley fucking old, but I remember when you would SHOWER, BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND APPLY DEODERANT.
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Fucka doodle-do.
this commercial brings back memories of the vagina power lady and taking a shit in yo man's bathroom. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7tN1UmJ6Go
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:56pm.
I've actually had to get off an elevator 'cause some lady had so much perfume on...I felt like I couldn't breathe.
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...I was always thinkin' of games that I was playin'...
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 8:13pm.
haha, if you really want to see it, i think it's maybe a little better on blip?http://blip.fm/diegoblue
you're on twitter, right? i'm about to post an old pic from my 'i really want to be maz' days. i don't know how long i'll have the balls to keep it up though. i had a bad experience with putting pics on myspace so i'm slowly working past that shit.
http://twitter.com/diegoblue
dating rich men and beautiful woman,meet your classy half on _classymingle.com_ the place make your dream come ture!
What the world really needs is a non toxic spray to counter-act people with chemical laden perfumes and after shaves. (something a bit sexier than the plant mister)
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"What drawer?". "The KNIFE drawer"
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/futurepigeon/video/x9wcqu_psycho-one-oh-...
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9wd0k_psycho-one-oh-four-knife
@ barelybeagle - Billy Mays was ok, but only Vince can make me laff 'til I pee my pants. This is one of the funniest Slap Chop remixes, IMO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaR4LcLbW8I
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
This guy needs to team up with the Shreddies people.
http://www.myshreddies.com/flatulence_filter_underwear_store_for_instant...
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"What drawer?". "The KNIFE drawer"
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/futurepigeon/video/x9wcqu_psycho-one-oh-...
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9wd0k_psycho-one-oh-four-knife
This will be useful for threatening the French.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Y'all ever see that Tyra episode where she had peeps on who STANK! Yeah, there was one whore who smelled like fish (go figure) and there was another whore who had mornin' wet fart bref 24/7, so bitch gargled with CLOROX BLEACH!!!!
WHORES, these kinda STANKS ain't good...When you got a stank that you don't have the skills to get rid of, go to a reputible STANKOLOGIST, do not apply BLEACH....See your Stankologist...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by cadebra1961 on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:20pm.
Billy Mays would've been the best pitchman for this shit. We still have Vince the Slap Chop dude to fill in, ahaha!! You're gonna love my stank!
I've seen more Billy commercials after he died than I've seen of Vince all year! I liked Vince but he kind of lost me after the prostitution-whore-slappin' incident. Now he's pretty much MIA. Nobody can hold a candle to Billy Mays when it comes to selling stupid shit!
Without the portable pocket shot, the deal is not worth it.
www.hotmenonly.net
www.hotmenonly.com
So if after 30 days your ass still smells like Lindsay Lohan at 5am you can get your money back?
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LOL, that was priceless.
Billy Mays would've been the best pitchman for this shit. We still have Vince the Slap Chop dude to fill in, ahaha!! You're gonna love my stank!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
i saw this this ad and thought the same thing. marketing 101, name the product an appealing name.
Well, it's better than having a stanky ass. What would you rather have?
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"I once accidentally joined the KKK because I thought it stood for 'kitty kitty kitty.' And I really like kitties."
Is Aspray for real?? Anystink, here's some good smelly mama jokes:
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
the only dis I want to give her is a disinfectant.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
she made her Right Guard call for backup.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
a blind man walking by her asked "How much for the shrimp platter?"
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
next to her a skunk smells sweet.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
that her shit is glad to escape.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
she was playing in a sand box and a cat came along and buried her.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
when she spreads her legs I get sea sick.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
she made Right Guard go left, Speed Stick slow down, and Ban come off strike.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
when you were being delivered, the doctor was wearing the oxygen mask.
Yo Mamma is so smelly,
even dogs won't sniff her crotch.
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
So if after 30 days your ass still smells like Lindsay Lohan at 5am you can get your money back?
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...I was always thinkin' of games that I was playin'...
Quick, send some to Madonna and Matthew Mcconaughey!
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 6:59pm.
Did anyone else think of this picture?
http://www.yourfunnystuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/flies-on-a-woma...
The perfect ad pic!
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...I was always thinkin' of games that I was playin'...
MK you are too fucking funny. Thanks for the laughs. I always send your crazy posts to my friends/family so they can laugh their ass off like I just did. LOL! or CMC, "casi me cago", for us Latinos. for those who don't speak Spanish, that means I almost shit myself.
diego: LOL I wish I could see you better, sweetpea! SO Glambert!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
You know it's the OCD crazy crowd that will buy this shit...Peeps who actually NEED this shit won't buy it. Nope, it's the peeps who needlessy shower six times a day, constantly wash their hands, brush and floss 8 times a day and spray everything they are about to touch with Lysol that will buy this shit...This is why we must send all the STANK ASS WHORES we know baskets full of this shit with a note sayin' YOU A STANK ASS WHORE NOW USE THIS SHIT SO YOU DON'T STANK NO MORE, YOU NASTY NOXIOUS STANK ASS WHORE....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
or just take a shower?