We Almost Lost The Crackie Of Camden Forever!

Amy Wino has knocked the crack demon off her back (that's what they say) and is doing better, but that hasn't stopped her ex-husband Blaaaaaake from blabbing about the time she almost went off to the great big crackhouse in the sky (or maybe it's further south?). Blaaaake, who is still selling out Wino for a check, said she pretty much died one night a few years back. Just another day in the life......

The year was 2006 and Wino wanted to celebrate the success of her album Back to Black. Celebrating for Wino meant going on a 3-day binge where she swallowed pubs whole and ate entire crackhouses. Blaaake said that on the night of day 3, he put her to bed, because she had not slept at all. That's when Wino started to do the infamous crackie shimmy. Blaaake told The Sun, "It was nearly midnight and I'd finally got her upstairs. We were sitting on the bed. Her eyes suddenly went blank. She started having a fit on the bed. She slid down on to the floor before I could stop her. She started quivering again and it suddenly grew into what seemed like a full-blown epileptic fit."

Just a quick question. Was Maryann from True Blood in the room by chance?

Blaaaaake was afraid Wino might bite her tongue right off, so he pulled it out of her mouth and gave her mouth-to-mouth. Yeah, I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on cable TV, but I'm sure Blaaaake was just breathing more of the bad shit into her body. You know his ass was not sober like a fetus. In fact, he was probably so fucked up himself that he accidentally blew air into her nose instead.

Blaaake went on to say, "I held her to me - and I thought she was dying in my arms... I couldn't bear for her to die in front of me."

And by "her," he meant his checking account and bad shit supplier.

Wino was rushed to the hospital where the nurses threw up their hands, screamed "CODE WINO" and then fed her ice pops, washed her crackhive in Pedialyte and called in the local priest to perform another crackorcism on her. Wino recovered and was released. Rinse and repeat!

Posted by: Michael K

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Amy Winehouse • Crackheads

Submitted by notreallyworking on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 8:18am.

dude, you're killing me! the crackie shimmy!

HA!~

Submitted by smiletoyou715 on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:43pm.

She is no good and many people are talking about her joining on !!!.sugarscupid. c o m, where the stupid woman wants to find a rich man for sugar daddy!! I just feel sad!

Submitted by silvarga on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 1:26pm.

I'm confused... I thought she did meet him until mid-to-late 2007 and that her album didn't come out until earlier that same year?

Although, maybe late 2007 was just the first time I heard of him.

Submitted by dollyface on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 12:45pm.

Sadly, she looks healthier in this than I've seen her in a looooooong time. Must be a pretty old pic.

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Submitted by missy on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 11:33am.

um, who HASNT convulsed into a state on non-conciousness during a major coke bender?

duh!

blake is a real fucktard, huh

_____________________________________________

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Submitted by LolaBella on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 11:30am.

MK, thank you for my word of the day today: crackorcism.

LMAO

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Live Your Life Like Brian Kinney Said:
No Excuses, No Apologies, No Regrets.

Submitted by Reeter on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 11:23am.

I've run out of words for Wino and Blaaaaaaaaaaake.

Submitted by gia on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:58am.

I am fairly certain that wasn't the first time & it won't be the last.

Submitted by tonta vodka van... on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:52am.

WOW blake you are a total fucking hero man,

run into my fist , you fucking shining example

I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....

Submitted by jls on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:51am.

Yeah, Blaaaake cared about her dying so much that now that they're not together (to save HER life, of course), he wants half of her money. Such a caring partner. DICKHEAD!

Submitted by soul on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:41am.

blake who? amy's so over, you're done. go back to the gutter rat.

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:27am.

Amy Winehouse should hand over her life force to someone who would actually use it and appreciate it.

Fucking waste of skin.

She's getting ANOTHER chance to be alive and she's just going to waste it.

Submitted by Courtney Love on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:23am.

That Blaaaake, he's a real profile in courage.

"now you all have numbers, so we're going to do this alphabetically"

Submitted by sugar free on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:18am.

why can i not get thru a Wino post without making a "who farted" face? ugh, that stink radiates.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Time heals all wounds, laughter prevents scarring.

Submitted by SkyBitch on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:10am.

***Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:21am.
"I couldn't bear for her to die in front of me"
It's all about me, me, me!***

Oh yeah, I meant to address that part too. Like it's totally OK w/him for her to die as long as she doesn't traumatize him by doing it in his presence. His doucheiness (sp) is really shining bright these days.

☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."

Submitted by rukiddingme on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 10:08am.

What a mess!

www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.

Submitted by shut the smurf up on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:59am.

Morning Everyone!

....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. MIchael K

Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:51am.

"I couldn't bear for her to die in front of me"

It's all about me, me, me!

************
What It Is

The only way to have a friend is to be one~R.W.E.

Submitted by DiamondDawg on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:51am.

love your avie, Mother Superior. Is there a place online where one can find ridiculous class photos? My yearbooks are in storage....

Submitted by DiamondDawg on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:49am.

thank GAWD that Amy got the crackhive back. That short mom-don't was killing me.

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:47am.

Count on MK to turn an overdose story into a hilarious narration. Kudos! :)

Submitted by SkyBitch on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:47am.

The beginning is my favorite part:

***Blaaake told The Sun, "It was nearly midnight and I'd finally got her upstairs.***

Riiiight, as if he wasn't right there partying with her on a 3-day bender the whole time...

☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."

Submitted by Mother Superior on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:43am.

Submitted by Race Bannon on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 8:43am.

P.S- Happy Monday everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend.

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Thanks you!!! Ditto :)

Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:41am.

Why'd they need Blake's input to write that story? It's not exactly news, is it? But I love the spectacle of the ex-con junkie telling all about his famous ex-wife--like he can remember what went down.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:35am.

yes Greeny and I think she's like 12

LMAO @ Raul!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton

Submitted by Snarkley on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:33am.

I'm sure this was a nightly occurence for Crackie.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:30am.

Life: " I tried to quit this bitch, but just when I thought I was out she sucked me back in !!"

Submitted by Race Bannon on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:26am.

Freebird- LOL! If only we would listen to the advice of these spammers and check out these millionaires, none of us would have to work!

Submitted by freebird on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:19am.

Migraine, no need to go to work, just go to meetrich . com. You have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true! Then you won't have to work anymore, ever.

Submitted by Green Is Good on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:18am.

Doesn't Blake have a pregnant girlfriend he was screwing while he was IN REHAB to keep him busy?

Submitted by flyereu on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:17am.

I recommend you a very interesting place ___meetrich.com_____ It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!