Vicodin Tears Of Sadness
The callback auditions for American Idol start on August 6th and Paula Abdul might be missing from the judges table! This time, the reason for Paula's absence will not be because she's passed out face-first in the toilet in the ladies room No. Paula might not be there, because the hos in charge of Idol have yet to send her a proposal for a new contract.
Fur Tittays Cowell just signed a new contract for around $100 million, but the producers have forgotten all about the little crazy who can.
Paula's manager told The Los Angeles Times, "Very sadly, it does not appear that she's going to be back on Idol. I find it under these circumstances particularly unusual; I think unnecessarily hurtful. I find it kind of unconscionable and certainly rude and disrespectful that they haven’t stepped up and said what they want to do. She’s not a happy camper as a result of what’s going on. She’s hurt. She’s angry. I think at this point we’re going to be considering everything, including some kind of a competition show. She has tremendous ideas for a whole variety of shows."
The word "hurtful" doesn't even begin to describe the atrocities the producers are putting Paula through! I might have to down a few cups of Paula's "weekend brew" (made with Darvocet dust, Diet Mountain Dew, dextromethorphan oil, fermented peaches and a drop of Simon's nipple nectar, ) just to deal with this awful news. If you can't get a hold of Simon's nipple nectar (Gaycrest, you are excused from this conversation), you can use garter snake saliva instead. But I digress.....
Paula is the Krazy Glue that holds the show together! I mean, you can replace Randy with one of the Budweiser Frogs and Kara DioJUSTSTOPALREADY with Jigsaw from Saw, but Paula is irreplaceable!
I use this quote from Paula often, but this time it really rings true: "I scratch my head and I wonder, 'Where is god when you need him?,' because this does not make sense!"
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Submitted by Jessica_Wakefield on Mon, 07/20/2009 - 7:43am
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You may be right. It won't be beyond Cowell to play us like a harp from hell.
Not that I watch that drivel or anything.
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Bottom-feeder.
Paula's NOT going anywhere. Ever. Right before the new season starts they will conveniently all come to an agreement.
This is the PERFECT way to get people interested again. Especially since so many were whining that they would "never watch again because Adam Lambert lost".
Now American Idol/Paula Abdul is all over the news. Folks will tune in to see if Paula is back. Ratings, as always, will be through the roof.
I'd date her...even if my name ain't Vic Odini
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
They are doing Paula dirty, they could at least tell her what the deal is.
Paula is annoying, but I fucking HATE Kara. She is so annoying, I hate the way she speaks, the way she purses her lips.
I hate how all she says is the word "artistry". WTF does she know about artistry? Sure, she seems to be a successful songwriter, but she never took off as a singer herself. Maybe she should take her own advice. Paula had more fucking artistry back in the 90's!
Also, she wrote that horrendously cliche and cring-eworthy song, No Bounderies...
Her Bratz meltdown had that line, "... Where's God when you need Him?... [sobbing]"
Paula's classic Bratz Meltdown:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4385061440164713285
Screencap:
http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/5337/paulaabdulmeltsdown.jpg
Kara is BORING! I love Paula. She can't leave. I probably won't watch it if she isn't on... It's the end of another era...
Submitted by hexe on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 11:04pm.
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Well said. I can;t believe anybody would be so damn stupid as to leave their pet in car in the Summer.
i prefer it is a fake news as well as some magazines said she kept dating rich men from the famous free
interracial dating site sugarscupid. c o m
.. in the past weeks. Good luck, Woman!
I love her! I saw her profile with hot & sexy photos on (RichSearching. C o M), a dating site for celebrities and wealthy singles to mingle. Believe it or not. The profile looks sincere, attractive and sexy. Charlie Sheen has found some young girls there. Maybe sometimes they really need a soul mate rather than a rich buddy.
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Submitted by kiwikim on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 10:33pm.
Some dumb bitch left her terrier in the car while she waited in line to audition for American Idol last week. It was over 90 outside and they didn't leave the windows opened. Dog died.
The only person to blame for that is the fucktard who did that to her dog--if it hadn't happened in the AI auditions parking lot, the same whore would have done the same thing while she was inside Costco or Forever 21. It enrages me...and having the windows opened wouldn't have changed anything in that kind of temperature. I just finished printing up 100 4" x 5" cards to put on the windshields of vehicles I run across that have pets inside on a warm day:
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YOUR CAR IS AN OVEN ON WHEELS IN THIS WEATHER—
YOUR DOG SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME TODAY!
Stanford researchers found with outside temperatures as low as 72 degrees, a car's interior temperature can heat up by an average of 40 degrees within an hour, with 80 percent of that increase in the first 30 minutes. Open windows had an insignificant effect on both the rate of heating and the final temperature after an hour.
Whether it's 72 degrees or 96 degrees outside, the temperature inside a parked car rises 3 degrees every 5 minutes. It only takes ten minutes on an 85-degree day for the inside of your car to reach 102 degrees F, even if the windows have been left open. After 30 minutes, the temperature will reach 120 degrees. On hot and humid days, the temperature in a car parked in direct sunlight can rise more than 30 degrees per minute, and quickly become lethal--even with the windows opened.
Dogs are designed to conserve heat. Their ONLY sweat glands, located on their nose and the pads of their feet, are inadequate for cooling during hot days. If they only have overheated air to breathe, dogs can suffer brain and organ damage after just 15 minutes. At 110 degrees, pets are in danger of heatstroke.
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All of that is true.
And then after I put that on their windshield, I write down the plate number, go into the store or office for that parking area or space, and tell the manager there's a dog in distress in a car outside their operation. (If the dog really is in distress, I don't bother with that--I just call the police.)
Yeah, I'm a bitch like that.
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"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
--"The Little Prince", Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Some dumb bitch left her terrier in the car while she waited in line to audition for American Idol last week. It was over 90 outside and they didn't leave the windows opened. Dog died.
This is the sort of dumb ass bitch shit that this cunt perpetuates-making dumb asses famous for five seconds. Ughhh. How dare she make nice with a dog now.
i prefer it is a fake news as well as some magazines said she kept dating rich men from the famous free interracial dating site sugarscupid. c o m
.. in the past weeks. Good luck, Woman!
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 4:01pm.
It's the intro from Straight Up. Paula is tapping toward Kara, but there's nothing Kara can do - she's barely conscious.
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LMFAO. Simon & Randy are starting to move unobtrusively toward the exits, as is the audience - only to find every door LOCKED! *audible gasp*
Paula proceeds to tap and 80s dance through her catalog, including a reenactment of Rush Rush with Keanu Reeves joining her on stage.
In between sets, Paula takes the mic to complain about how PEOPLE (evil stare at Simon) are sooooo MEAN TO HER and they're going to get theirs, most likely with a bomb under their stupid British car. She also reminds everyone how she started out as a Laker Girl and mean people said she was fat, after which she deftly segues into Forever Your Girl.
Simon and Randy come up with a plan, on the down low, to strangle her with a lighting cord, stage left.
I recommend you a very interesting place ___www.wealthyconnect.com_____ It 's where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 4:01pm.
Marry me?
"A barely audible instrumental of Opposites Attract is heard from below the floor boards." LMFAO
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Stop the love you save may be your own.
http://whoismichael.com/index.htm
http://site2.mjeol.com/
If she is sacked, I hope that she takes up residence in the basement of the studio like the Phanotm of the Opera.
There would be a barstool backstage that is known to be haunted by the Phantom, but being the dumb cow that she is, Kara would sit in it anyway.
Simon gasps, and urges her to move with the little breath that he has left. A barely audible instrumental of Opposites Attract is heard from below the floor boards.
Opening night, a couple of lights could fall and take Kara DiaFucker out. Panic ensues.
Those lights are heavy, and Kara's taken a direct hit to the temple.
The lights go down, and the audience is in hysterics. Simon knows that Kara is losing blood - and fast. He needs to act.
He demands the lights go up, just as Kara's eyes start to roll back.
Lights on, and somebody is on the stage. It's Paula.
Stunned silence. Kara tries to garble something, but it's no use. She's already swallowed her tongue.
Somehow though, she knows that Paula wants her.
TAP
TAP
TAP
It's the intro from Straight Up. Paula is tapping toward Kara, but there's nothing Kara can do - she's barely conscious.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
I thought that was Lisa Rinna
LMAO ZiggyStardust... You know, if he wasn't so EVIL, I'd agree with you. But I can't betray Michael :(
That old man is sick as fuck.
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Stop the love you save may be your own.
http://whoismichael.com/index.htm
http://site2.mjeol.com/
I hope Joe Jackson replaces her.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
LOL, Miss Thang. Tru dat.
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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
Thing is, you KNOW if Paula's up and outta the house, she's high. I'm looking forward to seeing her just kinda ramble on for a while and then start snoring. Maybe after commercial break, come back with a cup of coffee. You don't want that shit (meaning the show) to get too vanilla. Audience will get bored. Keep it real. Keep painkiller Paula on as a judge.
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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
This show is sooooo fucking OVER. Damn them all to hell. No one wants to see Simon's fat titties anymore. I mean, who even notices Randy's boring ass. And that new chick tries WAY too hard. I LOVE Paula's high ramblings. Never watching this shit again.
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Stop the love you save may be your own.
http://whoismichael.com/index.htm
http://site2.mjeol.com/
@muffintops Seriously, I LOL at your avie. I can't believe some bitches walk around like that thinking they look cute.
Anyway, Paula has been with this show from the beginning, so it is fucked up that they couldn't even be bother to call her and say whether or not her contract would be re-newed. That is just so rude. Her crazy ass antics bought the show a lot of publicity. Simon and Paula are entertaining and should definitely stay. They should get rid of Kara. She doesn't seem to be that popular on any websites. I don't understand why they would want to keep a judge that is so unlikeable and annoying.
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If you get to vote on my rights, when do I get to vote on yours?
NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Fucking PROSTITUTION WHORE producers! :(
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You can't stop the BEAT!
I was wondering which sad tactic they would take this time. Pay the bitch and get on with it. I mean, that suicide last year payed them back already, no? ????????????
Yes.......
Though I love Paula's crazy, it was getting a little uncomfortable and long-winded. Sometimes (ok, all the time) I'd just press the mute button when she (ok, all of them) talked.
But I didn't see this one coming. There were all these rumors of Kara being the odd one out, and Simon seemed to side with Paula over Kara. But he was just playing poor Paula for an old-fashioned double crossing! What a mean queen!
Everybody seems to love Paula. But I can't stand her. She used to be "entertainingly crazy". But now she has just gotten tired. She needs to go take a LONG rest. Or even better, go work on So You Think You Can Dance. After all, Paula was one hell of a choreographer back in the day. And her schtick with Simon has gotten old as well. They don't always have to agree. But her jumping on Simon like a 4 year old is stupid.
As weird as it is to believe Randy Jackson is the only bonafide musician on the panel. Dude has worked with EVERYBODY. And I have an irrational love for Simon Cowell. In my opinion, it's SIMON who keeps the show together.
This is some BULLshit! As everyone else said, if anything, kick off Randy. He is boring as hell. It is quite hurtful to not even tell her at this point one way or another whether or not they will renew her contract. Has Kara's been renewed? I don't hate Kara as much as some seem to, but I agree that Paula is definitely the star. And this was her most sober season in AGES! She was very lucid and coherent many of the weeks. Paula, "You dare to dance in the path of greatness!!!"
BRING BACK PAULA!!!
Screw the darvocet dust - she's chopping up lines of oxycodone and hiding them in her hankies. When someone asks her how she's doing, she pretends to cry, takes out the hankie and deeply inhales. INSTANT BETTER!!
I'm trying that at the next funeral I have to go to (touch wood).
¨°º¤ø„¸„ø¤º°``°º¤ø„ ø¤º°¨¨° º¤ø¨°º¤ø„¸
Pathetic Earthlings, who can save you now?
I thought that was Lisa Rhina(sp?)
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Chungking - Voodoo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wote2XlvYeU, 'cause some of you hors need to be introduced to some decent music from time to time~
I've never watched that sh-t but for those that do, what would be the point if Paula's not there?
kara attempting to school contestants is very old and boring...get paula back, morons
Submitted by qjersey on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 12:07pm.
People hated on Kara, but she actually gave better advice than the rest.
I watch Idol for the singing, not the "dog" or the "druggie," both of which never make a comment that has any sense.
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Kara is an idiot. All she does is throw out buzz words that trick people into thinking she knows anything, and she talks too GODDAMN FUCKING MUCH.
AND she wrote "No Boundaries." She should be deported just for that.
Submitted by Plecostomus on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 1:33pm.
Submitted by Mother Superior on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 1:30pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 12:02pm.
Erggh! Who knows where that little dog's tongue has been?
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Heh. IDK, but just look at that pearl necklace.
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HAHAHAH!!!!! And Paula's ring.
Now we know what happened that night.....
I'll take Paula's slurring over Kara's enunciating anyday.
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Metric: Help I'm Alive
only thing that comes to mind is her reality show...
"I work my ASS off JEFF!... JEFF?!"
No!!!! The producers are dumbasses. Paula is so entertaining and the chemistry between Paula and Simon is fun. Kara is BORING
No!!!! The producers are dumbasses. Paula is so entertaining and the chemistry between Paula and Simon is fun. Kara is BORING
Submitted by Mother Superior on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 1:30pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 12:02pm.
Erggh! Who knows where that little dog's tongue has been?
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Heh. IDK, but just look at that pearl necklace.
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 07/18/2009 - 12:02pm.
Erggh! Who knows where that little dog's tongue has been?
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Where the doggies lick themselves.....there. And just before the pic was taken, but after getting rid of that spicy doggie curry from the previous night.
Ok, I stop.
"I think at this point we’re going to be considering everything, including some kind of a competition show. "
Even the manager knows she's desperate...nice!
Oh, hell, Cowell should just chuck them all and replace the panel with Wino, Pete Doherty, and Mischa Barton.
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Bottom-feeder.
Paula is annoying as hell, but they really have to get their priorities straight.
Randy Jackson is boring as hell, and people only bother to pay attention to him to see what size he'll be in any particular season.
Yes, you held Whitney Huston's coat one time. Anybody care to remind me what she does now? Is she still a raging drug addict?
Oh, and Kara is the ice queen. There is nothing likeable about her, and she's not even famous.
If they want somebody credible, then they could have opted for Linda Perry or something.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
LMAO at "garter snake saliva"! Jesus, MK, how do you come up with this stuff?
Replacing Paula with Kara??? MISTAKE!
Paula maybe looney (okay, she IS looney) but she's part of the charm of the show. You can't replace a legend with a songwrite most folks not in the biz have never heard of.
*sharpens shank*
Bahhh this can only lead to more Kunty Kara. They're all friggin overpaid. I heard Seacrest is pulling in some huuuge money and really, what does he do other than find annoying ways to lead into commercials?
So, she's NOT forever their girl, then.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
I will not watch **GUARANTEED** if American Idol gets rid of Paula and replaces her with that needy, wannabe cunt, Kara!