Squinty Gets To Eat Again
People reports that Squinty Zellweger will star in a third Bridget Jones movie. This means that Squinty can actually start eating real food (instead of ice chips and tangerine seeds) again, because bitch will have to pack on the chunk.
Since BABIES!!! are in now, the third movie will focus on Bridget trying to knocked up before her ovaries dry up. Expect a scene where Hugh Grant and Colin Firth have a slap fight in Bridget's amniotic fluid puddle.
Shooting will begin later this year, so that gives Squinty some time to devour everything on This Is What You're Fat. Actually, she could probably gain 20 pounds just by staring at the pictures for a long time.
If Squinty can't gain the weight in time, the producers should fast forward the third movie 20 years. That why they can just plop a blonde wig on Kirstie Alley and squirt lemon juice in her eyes. There's Bridget Jones! Seriously, this is the role Kirstie Alley has been eating for her entire life!
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I like Bridget Jones. That's the only romcom I'll sit through.
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Wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?
Because a sequel is what you do when no one is talking about you, your anorexic leanings, or your incessantly half-closed eyes anymore.
What's next, 'Jerry Maguire 2'?
At least that would kill two birds with one stone.
Yes, I am talking to you, Miss Cruise!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes
i prefer it is a fake news as well as some magazines said she kept dating rich men from the famous free interracial dating site sugarscupid. c o m
.. in the past weeks. Good luck, Woman!
you can find many hot girls on__classymingle.com_. They are looking for wealthy lovers. and maybe you are the next..
Hillary Rotten Squinton.
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Submitted by z-listed on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 9:24pm.
Kirsty Ally already has squinty eyes, haven't you noticed?
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LEEEAAAAVE KIRSTY ALOOOOOOOONE!
I'm tryna to lure that butter ball of blubbery deliciousness to my cage, and you DListed whores with all your fat and delicious talk of Kirsty are RUINING MY GAME UP IN HERE...I would like to "interview" Kirsty as a "zoo journalist" about "weight issues" and how I "can help"...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Dear God, I want everything from that website!
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Why do you think you take a HO to a HOtel!
Kirsty Ally already has squinty eyes, haven't you noticed?
I won't be seeing this.
For the most part, I will watch anything, but girly movies are my bane. Except there is the occasional teen comedy with a girl angle which I like (Mean Girls is still one of my top 10 guilty pleasure films.)
What's most annoying about this sequel's premise is the baby in the brains crap. Why can't they have childless by choice characters in films anymore?
That site is "This is WHY you're fat" not this is WHAT. Doy... Anyway, that food on that site is the kind of stuff that would make a good last meal prior to execution.. you know.. the "since I'm gonna die anyway" meals.
@snowpiece....hills has atleast 25 years on squinty z, so looking the same as her is NOT a good thing...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
If it follows Fieldings' story line from the paper column .. Bridge gets the hot beef injection from Daniel and has his bastard spawn. Must miss ...
Bridget Jones movies fucking suck. I've never even seen more than 3 minutes of the first one.
On another note: that website MK linked is the shizz. Heart Attack webpage.
letinstar yeah, I thought so too
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
squinty z or hillary clinton?
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
I find John Malkovich's acting enticing and riveting myself. Man has nothing in the looks department, but he can act the shit outta a role....not sure what this has to do with Squinty but I'll just roll with it...!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 2:04pm.
I will netflix this POS simply for the hotness that is Mark Darcy
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SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
internet cop u make me hot
Thin or fat
Fat or thin
She shall always
be squinty
and ugly
as Sin.
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Consider yourself reported.
rent Valmont--it follows the story of Dangerous Liasions much closer, and has some great performances. Bonus--Colin Firth as the whore Valmont.
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"Look, hon, I love you and everything, but listen to me...You are a foul cunt...Everyone knows it...Why the HELL do you think these seagulls have been following us around squawking like demons? -Tigerlilly
i look like her a night after drinkin beers with my alcoholic husband and he wants to practice using my face as a toilet
fuck u bitch!!!! so fucking ugly
I will netflix this POS simply for the hotness that is Mark Darcy.
RZ is a good actress. I wish she'd keep the Bridget weight on...she looks a hell of a lot better with tits and some arse.
I think Brits do better American accents because in reality, its a necessity if they want to work in Hollywood. They learn it not just for a role, but to really be able to speak it. I think it is easier to follow American English as well. I really struggle sometimes to understand some Brits, but never had an issue understanding an American, despite the regional accent.
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"Look, hon, I love you and everything, but listen to me...You are a foul cunt...Everyone knows it...Why the HELL do you think these seagulls have been following us around squawking like demons? -Tigerlilly
for someone who doesnt eat she sure looks like a fat goat!!!!!!! FUG
Bad move.. all of the yo yo dieting has been bad for her looks.. She looked worse after both of the Bridget films.. not good for your looks to gain and lose weight so quickly..
Pleco,
Nah! I tryed to watch "Valmont" last night actually....couldn't finish it...zzzzzzzzzzzz
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"Nobody eats an ass out of obligation!"
Master Blaster,
Malkovich! It wasn't a bad movie...I gotta see anything with John in it...
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"Nobody eats an ass out of obligation!"
Submitted by Master Blaster on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:37pm.
Submitted by Clarisse
No, most of those corseted period films put me into an immediate and severe coma.
What happened? Is this the Malkovich film? He's one of the few Americans who can swing a passable british accent. Was this one a fail?
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Oh, you simply MUST give Dangerous Liaisons a chance! It's one of my favorite movies of all time. They didn't go for a faux-French accent at all; the actors just delivered their lines in unaccented English.
Initially, I had severe misgivings about cadaverous John Malkovich being convincing as a squiring French Lothario, but my my oh my. What the man lacks in looks he most def makes up for in acting chops.
My disbelief was more suspended than Larry King's breeches.
And Glenn Close was deliciously evil in it.
EDIT: I just realized Clarisse may have been talking about the film "Valmont" with Colin Firth and Annette Bening. I passed on that one.
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:32pm.
*makes room for Momus*
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*woot, woot*
*shoves DD to the floor to get the comfy cushions*
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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HELL YES. I loves me some Colin Firth! His hot ass better be in this one too!
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Why do you ride women that look like men?! Why do you ride hippos?! *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
Her best movie by far is Chicago.
Never saw any of the Jones movies, I hate the accent she's using, it just makes me keep changing the channel.
I'm getting tired of the "eternal quest for a baby" storyline in my chick flicks. That's why I've been sticking to horror films lately... like The Omen and It's Alive!
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Yea!!! I love Bridget Jones. The second one kind of sucked but eh, won't keep me from seeing a third.
Colin Firth's going to be in this right?
she should gain some weight, but she looks pretty either way
www.MelindaMaria.com
Submitted by Clarisse
Master Blaster!
LMAO!!! Never seen "Dangerous Liaisons" have ya?
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No, most of those corseted period films put me into an immediate and severe coma.
What happened? Is this the Malkovich film? He's one of the few Americans who can swing a passable british accent. Was this one a fail?
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If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you. - Oscar Wilde
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Submitted by DiamondDawg
You know, it would be kinda scary if we had a Dlisted convention in Vegas. All kinds of paraphenalia, shennanigans, missing clothes, broken bottles, and lots of yelling.
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You'd show up wearing clothes? I hear Dlisted convention and I'm showing up naked and fucked up.
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If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you. - Oscar Wilde
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*makes room for Momus*
Master Blaster!
LMAO!!! Never seen "Dangerous Liaisons" have ya?
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"Nobody eats an ass out of obligation!"
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:29pm.
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:27pm.
*spanks Mother Superior*
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You know, it would be kinda scary if we had a Dlisted convention in Vegas. All kinds of paraphenalia, shennanigans, missing clothes, broken bottles, and lots of yelling.
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We could play Whos Who and see who throws the first bottle!
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:24pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:22pm.
Feel free to jump in, we wont judge.
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May I join? I'll bring "This Is Spinal Tap".
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:29pm.
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:27pm.
*spanks Mother Superior*
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You know, it would be kinda scary if we had a Dlisted convention in Vegas. All kinds of paraphenalia, shennanigans, missing clothes, broken bottles, and lots of yelling.
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But who would bail us out of jail?
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:29pm.
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:27pm.
*spanks Mother Superior*
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You know, it would be kinda scary if we had a Dlisted convention in Vegas. All kinds of paraphenalia, shennanigans, missing clothes, broken bottles, and lots of yelling.
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I'd LOVE it!!!!!!!!
I have an idea for the open post. Teheheeeee...
at least we can all do a mean Austrian accent.aaayyy
Thanks to the two Jacks. Nice. :P
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:27pm.
*spanks Mother Superior*
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You know, it would be kinda scary if we had a Dlisted convention in Vegas. All kinds of paraphenalia, shennanigans, missing clothes, broken bottles, and lots of yelling.
*slaps Mother Superior on the ass*
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"Now fuck the fuck off or get a dildo." Bradiful Bitch
Submitted by xerquina on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 1:22pm.
Cuz English is a hard language, shit we're all from and still have to take it in school
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No frickin' kidding.
Died when my papers came back all bloody as a frosh. As time went on it got better. In the last Lit class I took (596), only one correction - a problem with a semi-colon.
*spanks Mother Superior*
Can I get a spank, too?
Anyone.....?
I feel left out :(
Submitted by Miss Thang
Why do Brits always do better American accents than us trying to do the Brit accent?
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Hopefully, there will never be a reason for Keanu Reeves to sport a british accent. That guy fucking sucks with accents. Conversely though, Australians and New Zealanders can't seem to maintain a proper American accent like the Brits either. I was watching 'Terminator: Salvation' and the actor who plays Marcus sounded less and less American as the film went on. It was confusing. In addition to fact that that movie sucked ass.
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If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you. - Oscar Wilde
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