Tuesday, July 14th 2009
The Lindsay Lohan Porno (Not Starring Lindsay Lohan)
This is a trailer (SFW) for Hustler's porn parody of HoHan's life. In some circles, this would be consider "making it." The porn-version SamRo is even in this, but the ho playing her isn't even trying! Bitch didn't bleach her hair or flash one of SamRo's signature "I'm holding a queef" smirks. If you're going to play SamRo, commit! Chick needs to hang out with Christian Bale.
And I wonder why Hustler didn't try to get White Oprah to make a cameo? She would've done it for 2 drink tickets to TGI Friday's.
VIA Gawker
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Is SamRo wearing the same sweatshirt as Hailey Glassman in those pix of her and Jon at the airport?
why didn't they get Lindsay to star in it? I'm sure she woulda done it for a few grams of coke and a half empty bottle of Goldslick vodka.
lindsay lohan obviously has a lot going for her now that they're making a porno in her honor
www.MelindaMaria.com
Sometimes it's just a matter of knowing if your tit falls out.
They got the Sam completely wrong.
Make-up??? Hair done??????
Should have employed a 12-year-old boy who hasn't slept in three years instead.
does the entire "movie" take place in a spray tan booth?... come on, people.. realism!!
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"Stay.. and help me to end the day.
And if you don't mind,
we'll break a bottle of wine.
Stick around and maybe we'll put one down.
Because I wanna find, what lies behind those eyes."
Submitted by clarketron on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:44pm.
Aren't porn stars usually a low grade version of whoever they're portraying? They're too ugly for regular movies, so they do porn?
The faux lohan is an upgrade from the real thing. Hohan is much skankier than the porn star version of her.
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Ahahaha!!! There are plenty of so-called actresses that are uglier than porn stars that are featured in mainstream flicks - trouble is, most of them (the A and B list sluts) don't know how to fuck & suck as good as the pornsluts. I guess Hohan needs to take lessons from Pam Anderson or watch the classic "Deep Throat". She best be ready, Ron Jeremy will be truly disappointed if he never gets the chance to bone her on film & vice versa!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Not funny. Stick to money shots.
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Nevermind. I watched it. That's high quality acting right there.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
I really want to watch the video, but I am afraid to do so at work. Is it really SFW?
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
Aren't porn stars usually a low grade version of whoever they're portraying? They're too ugly for regular movies, so they do porn?
The faux lohan is an upgrade from the real thing. Hohan is much skankier than the porn star version of her.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:37pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:33pm.
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BWAHAHAHA!!! Jesus, what is wrong with people?
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No sense of humor and no appreciation for the literary arts.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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ubmitted by McJen on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:34pm.
Okay-Did anyone notice the girl who is playing "Lindsay" pupils? The second scene. HUGE. I guess she is a method actor.
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More likely a methadone actor.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:33pm.
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BWAHAHAHA!!! Jesus, what is wrong with people?
Okay-Did anyone notice the girl who is playing "Lindsay" pupils? The second scene. HUGE. I guess she is a method actor.
**Love**
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:30pm.
Momus, what was your ditty about Keith Richards? I don't get why you were banned for that when everyone knows he snorted his father's ashes. :0)
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Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust.
Gotta snort Dad
'Fore the narks bust.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by Salem13 on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:19pm.
Submitted by mike on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:04pm.
Gawker is basically the "hipster" of the internet. I used to read it but after that whole SNL marathon post blah whatever. Did Ian ever come?
That's the period during which I was banned, and the SNL posts (the originated with mostly one guy) is what I was complaining about.
Momus, what was your ditty about Keith Richards? I don't get why you were banned for that when everyone knows he snorted his father's ashes. :0)
Shouldn't SamRo have an English accent?
Submitted by Salem13 on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:24pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:20pm.
Thats such bullshit. Have they not been reading the shit that gets posted on there?
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I really have no idea what goes through their minds.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:20pm.
Thats such bullshit. Have they not been reading the shit that gets posted on there?
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If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
mitted by EatYourVeggies on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:16pm.
Is Gawker the one that makes you audition?
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Yes. I was a commenter for nearly a year. Then, I posted a ditty about Keith Richards and his father's ashes. Apparently, some folks found it a offensive. But, parody is usually offensive ... to some sensitive folks.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by mike on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:04pm.
Gawker is basically the "hipster" of the internet. I used to read it but after that whole SNL marathon post blah whatever. Did Ian ever come?
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If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
Submitted by mike on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:17pm.
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Sounds like censorship is alive and well. Ugh.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:12pm.
mike, you were banned from Gawker? What, pray tell, was your offense?
I'd been commenting for years and was abruptly banned one weekend for complaining about a contributor/editor/whatever. The way I said it was really quite mild, so I inquired as to why I'd been banned but I never got so much as a response. The site had really been going downhill for a while, but still, it irked me.
Is Gawker the one that makes you audition?
Submitted by mike on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:04pm.
So was I.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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mike, you were banned from Gawker? What, pray tell, was your offense?
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 5:57pm.
appreciate the heads up : )
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''Oh my God! Bear's Driving! How can that be?!''
please don't let this be the last post of the day. i could give a rat's frozen nutsack about blohan.
please don't let this be the last post of the day. i could give a rat's frozen nutsack about blohan.
Submitted by Salem13 on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 5:06pm.
Gawker sucks more than Lindsay Lohan.
Word. I was banned from the site.
Can't wait for this whore to die already. Her whole act is so fucking boring.
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Stop the love you save may be your own.
Lindsay's life is already a low-grade porno. Isn't creating a porno parody of a joke kind of repetitive?
lol no Owls, it's the internationally recognized internet sound of jerking off.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fap
I was kidding, though. This is totally gross, and that chick looks nothing, NOTHING like Lindsay Lohan. (I'm kind of a Lohan Loonie. Inexplicably so.)
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Imperialists! The BANE of my existence - angel_i 07/09/09
This would have been a good vehicle for Ali.
"fapping" is the sound of jacking.
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 5:51pm.
*fap*fap**fap*fap**fap*fap*
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I take it that's the sounds of intercourse?
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''Oh my God! Bear's Driving! How can that be?!''
*fap*fap**fap*fap**fap*fap*
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Imperialists! The BANE of my existence - angel_i 07/09/09
Paris Hilton: I always know when my tits are out...
Cinematic gold.
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''Oh my God! Bear's Driving! How can that be?!''
Submitted by Who Datt on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 5:27pm.
"HoHan's fire mussel". That's an EPIC win! Ha ha ha!
How bad is her career when Lindsay actually auditioned for this and still didn't get the role?
I didn't say you were stupid, I said that you were acting stupid. But since you didn't understand that NOW I'm saying you are stupid.
mediocre lampooning. Funny ass comments about it, though!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Who Datt on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 5:27pm.
HoHan's fire mussel? Bwahaha!!
*enters fire mussel into DListed lexicon*
A couple of glaring errors in this parody:
1)If SamRo was as hot as that, do you honestly think she'd be wasting her time DJ'ing, flashing gang signs and eating HoHan's fire mussel?
2) The woman playing Lindsay, try as she might, can *never* match HoHan's skankiness.
Good Lord, when even *Hustler* seems tame to your everday actions, isn't it a sign to call it a day and seek help?
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 5:08pm.
You know you look bad when the Ho playing you in a Porno looks cleaner than you.
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That's exactly what I was thinking.
How pissweak was that??
Everyone loves the slutty party girl until she vomits on your shoes. Then she's just annoying. - House.
They should just skip the SamRo period of her life. No one wants to see that mongrel do stuff.