Mayer In The Middle
Tony Romo sent Jessica Simpson down the gutter of broken hearts right before her birthday and some source tells Radar that it was all because of John Mayer and his homewrecky text messages. Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun!
It's always John and his text messages. I'm telling you, if you ever get a text message from The Mayer don't even look at it! Delete it immediately. If read you it, you will lose your man, your job, your dog will turn on you and your favorite dildo will melt. Destruction!
Jessica learned this the hard way, apparently. The source says that everything between Tony and Jessica was handjobs and rainbows until he looked at her cell phone on Thursday night. “They were hanging out and he picked up her phone and she got defensive about it. Tony found messages from John and went ballistic. Tony dumped her right then. He walked out and that was it," said the source.
Okay, let's be serious for a quick minute. I doubt John text messaged Jessica. Did the texts say shit like: "Snd me pics of ur boobies" or "Wut u wearin"? If so, that wasn't John! That was Papa Joe and his trickery! Damn him!
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@ CHEFCAMMI, you are adorable, and congrats on your lil one.
She didn't let any guys fuck her until she got married. Now she is a dirty whore. I love it.
GETTING A TEXT FROM JOHN MAYER IS LIKE WATCHING THE SAMARA VIDEO FROM "THE RING".
IF YOU READ JOHN'S TEXT IN 10 DAYS YOU WILL DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS HE TEXTING JESSICA SIMPSON FOR ANYWAY? HE'S SUCH A DOUCHE BAG. OH YEAH AND HE'S UGLY!!
Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 4:48pm.
Tony was probably desperately looking around the room for ANYTHING to use as an alibi like Keyser Soze at the end of "The Usual Suspects" just so he could get his ass out of there.
LOL! I love that movie.
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“He who hesitates, doesn't get laid.”
--Brian Kinney
Submitted by Juniperjump on Wed, 07/15/2009 - 3:39am.
After watching Newlyweds - I thought it was obvious why people dump Jessica. FRIGID as hell.
and an idiot!... don't forget she's got an I.Q. in the minus numbers!... gotta give credit where credit is due!
... wait... i'm a guy... i guess i'm supposed to get back to looking at her tits... excuse me
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"Stay.. and help me to end the day.
And if you don't mind,
we'll break a bottle of wine.
Stick around and maybe we'll put one down.
Because I wanna find, what lies behind those eyes."
After watching Newlyweds - I thought it was obvious why people dump Jessica. FRIGID as hell.
she still gets to drive the general lee, right?... hick hack... both of 'em
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"Stay.. and help me to end the day.
And if you don't mind,
we'll break a bottle of wine.
Stick around and maybe we'll put one down.
Because I wanna find, what lies behind those eyes."
freebird, what the hell does 34 look like?! OLD?!?! Sorry I'm 31 and I don't look it either so I get sensitive about that shit.
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
They're both douchebags for messing with someone ass stupid as Jess...she's too sweet and doesn't deserve either of these assholes. She probably thinks she can't do any better...sheesh!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
hohoho, I saw her profile on the celebrities/rich men seeking affairs site sugarscupid. c o m last week. It
said she is interested in seeking a rich man for sugar daddy on that site! what a fool woman!
John is bangin alll the hooooooooo's
I smell the diddly stank finger of papa Joe doing damage control and "leaking" this Mayer mess. He wants his favorite pair of tits to not look like such a big-mouthed dumpee.
Jess, inanimate douches don't dump you. They just leave you feeling fresh. These real live ones not so much.
Hang in there James Haven, keep up the good work! If anyone could bring these 2 kids back together it's you! Ignore Papa Joe & break John Mayer's fingers so that he cannot text ANYBODY & ruin their lives! Catch Mayer off guard & then bash his hands with a bat! BAM!!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Mayer is so fucking gross, so into himself, and SO played out! He looks like smells and is constantly in a bad mood...for f's sake don't give this loser a headline.
www.hotmenonly.net
James Haven is really concerned about Jess. She has taken to bed and eats nothing but peanut butter and baloney sandwhiches and washes them down with YooHoo!
Papa Joe has asked James Haven to speak to Tony but he will not take any of James Haven's calls and has an order of protection out against James Haven! Can you imagine that?!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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hohoo, I am not that surprised at all. I saw his profile on the celebrities/rich men seeking affairs site
!!!.sugarscupid. c o mo m last week. It said he is interested in seeking a beautiful man for sugar baby on
that site!
This is bullshit, Papa Joe always plants lies to make it look like his little whore wasn't the loser. Mayer is done with this tranny just like everyone else in the world.
Submitted by freebird on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:46pm
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It's been long said that Mayer likes to be peed and perhaps even crapped on. The story I read happened in Italy (I believe it was there and right before those pics of hom splitting with her). There was an incident that involved either meds, illness, or too much drink (better on #3) and she got the shits in bed. It was so bad another mattress had to be requested. I will try to link the story. It may have been a BI that was later uncovered. But, given the location and details all signs pointed to her.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
This proves what a dimwitted dumbass she is. If she's fucking around being tony homo's back, you'd think she'd at least have the brain cells to delete the Mayer texts
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Oh please. Remember when she had the "I'm in love" cover mag on John Mayer and then he was like, bitch, I don't think so? She publicly humiliated herself with that twat. He could care less about that dumb bitch.
It's all about damage control. She was ditched before her birthday party and the country bumfucks thought this would make her look good.
heheheh probably he is just texting all his exes with the same messages..He is stupid like that
Karma is a Bitch
This is just some Papa Joe Damage Control. Fail!
This proves what a dimwitted dumbass she is. If she's fucking around being tony homo's back, you'd think she'd at least have the brain cells to delete the Mayer texts. Instead, she keeps them handy for him to find. What an idiot; this chick is as dense as they come & deserves to get her flabby ass dumped...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
AJ is the same age as me too... she looks OLD!
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
Seems that I viewed their love stories with many intimate photos at @@ "My Interracial Match.c Om " where all women can find a great man to love ...
Submitted by freebird on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:46pm.
Excellent reporting, freebird! And fucking EWW! "Rank boudoir" indeed!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:53pm.
Submitted by freebird on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:46pm.
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Thank you! That shit writing makes me wish I WAS blind. No offense to blind people. Hahaha, I am so politically corrct.
*runs off to see if Rosetta Stone does braille*
Submitted by sushi on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:53pm.
Clearly this was a leak from her press corps so it looks like he's a jealous ass and her former loves still want her instead of her being the whiney needy bitch she is.
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That sounds like the next best theory besides MK's that it's really Papa Joe - that gave me the LOLs. You know John Mayer is going to be making about 30 pap statements about how it wasn't him. And he'll Twitter furiously.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:53pm.
Submitted by freebird on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:46pm.
Bed shitting Mayer story:
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Is that Ted Cacablanca's (typo and I'm keepin' it)blind item. Jesus, I wish that man would write in plain English. It's like trying to decipher Aramaic.
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Yep, I stopped reading them for the most part. It's just too annoying trying to decipher him.
Submitted by freebird on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:46pm.
Bed shitting Mayer story:
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Is that Ted Cacablanca's (typo and I'm keepin' it)blind item. Jesus, I wish that man would write in plain English. It's like trying to decipher Aramaic.
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Barefoot on the Beach
Clearly this was a leak from her press corps so it looks like he's a jealous ass and her former loves still want her instead of her being the whiney needy bitch she is.
Cammi,
I once had a home job go bad and my hair was PINK. Ex hubs couldn't get me to toni and guy quick enough.
Good ploy you have working there...mmmhmmm.
Mayer is an ass douche. Hahahahah
Submitted by chefcammi on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:46pm.
You're so pretty! You don't look 34 either. And what a cute baby!!!!
Bed shitting Mayer story:
http://www.blinditemsexposed.com/2008/04/one-special-scratch-n-sniff-bli...
EEG- you would think that in my 34 years living I would know that it's IMPOSSIBLE to go from dark blonde/lt. brown to flipping blonde but what did my ass do today? Yup.. so now I have orangish blondish hair... stupid me. Hopefully my hubby will HATE it and send me to the salon.. HAHAHAHA!
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
cammi,
Put myself and not just my non titties back up in support.
No words is right, you are pretty.
You are so pretty, cammi. Thanks for the picture for a bit...nice to see my Dlisted buds.
cammi,
You done changed your hair. Nice!
tagged - girlfriend please - fucking LOL....MK you're my handjob and rainbow
No Words.. yup it's me.. being brave for a hot minute :)
Leaning towards putting my Eated Ur Soul cat back tho :)
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
Someone needs to kick the shit out of Mayer.
Wow! Just wow! This is juicy! I want to know what the messages are! John's hot so if they got back together then that would be...probably not be a good idea. Jessica will just look bad. Very, very bad. Don't do it, girl!
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:00pm.
I feel like Jessica is more likely to shit the bed. You can tell John does his business onstage. It's all in the face.
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You could be right. On that show she did with Nick Lachey (shoot me now), she was always farting and talking about her bowel habits. JESUS!!
Plus, John Mayer's diarrhea is more the verbal kind.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:03pm
But one has to ask *why*? Colon problems? Dysentery? To get his attention? Yuckaroonie
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I'm guessing it's because she forgot where the bathroom was.
Methinks that this is bed story:
http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/2008/09/19/jessica-simpson-farts-in-the-s...
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:03pm.
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:00pm.
I feel like Jessica is more likely to shit the bed. You can tell John does his business onstage. It's all in the face.
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But one has to ask *why*? Colon problems? Dysentery? To get his attention? Yuckaroonie.
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Too drunk to get up & go to the can?
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 6:00pm.
I feel like Jessica is more likely to shit the bed. You can tell John does his business onstage. It's all in the face.
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But one has to ask *why*? Colon problems? Dysentery? To get his attention? Yuckaroonie.
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I'm willing to bet Jessica's sterile. She's the type of girl who views 22 or so as the ideal age at which to start a family, and I'm also pretty sure she'd get pregnant in an attempt to keep a man.
I feel like Jessica is more likely to shit the bed. You can tell John does his business onstage. It's all in the face.