Tuesday, July 14th 2009
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For July 13th!
20 years from now Maddox is busy baby-sitting embryos at St. Angie's egg farm. - starvis
Runners-up:
Jon, I know you're desperate to get your balls back since leaving Kate, but this is overkill, no? - sophie_003
Dear Alan,
The next time you're standing on a ledge, wanting to end it all and you're wishing to be buried surrounded by melons...
BE MORE SPECIFIC!!!!
Sincerely,
God - ISprainedMyUvula
You'd scream too if you got stuck the middle of Wonky McValtrex's latest outbreak - sparky nemesis
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After years and years of hiding, Jon Gosselin's testicles finally come back to party. And they brought friends.
Kevin wins the food competition on Big Brother!
Jon is still happier then when he was with Kate & the kids.
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luscious_t likes this. *thumbs up*
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
~cheetos & frapp~
Hey Jon, glad to see that clothing line really worked out for you--not!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! How would i know basketballs were orange, me Korean? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Thats wrong! 1000 melons and 1 nip?
Add a bunch of reverse mullet weaves, some shrill, ball-snatching voices, make it Ed Hardy shirt-proof, and Jon's room in hell will be ready for his arrival.
When I sent my wife out to get us a new melon baller, this wasn't what I had in mind.
'I quit this bitch!' says the LA plastic surgeon after one too many boob jobs. Oh, and one sex change (as you can see in the jar).
They don't call him Melon-Omar because his Dad is a dermatologist.
It's Suze, like in booze.
" Roll up, roll up, look like a Hollywood star, Brenden Fraser bellies $10 roll up, roll up!!! "
Being a Melon Baller-you're doing it wrong.
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What's the opposite of making sense? The Comfort Wipe! -MK
Ok, Mistuh Gallaghaaa you so smart whicha big moustache and ya ski cap and yo big American eyes............
In an ironic twist for the Gosselins' new reality show "Fertility Island," Jon is forced to give birth to multiple watermelons as part of a challenge to see which of the two will win the million-dollar prize for most debasing behavior on prime-time television.
It puts the urine on his skin or else it gets the melons again!!
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What's the opposite of making sense? The Comfort Wipe! -MK
Just another cocktail hour at the Victoria Beckham/Pamela Anderson discarded implants warehouse facility.
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"Vodka straight out of the bottle? I think bitch is waaaaay past that. I'm sure it was a mixture of rat poison, rubbing alcohol, pop rocks and SARS."
People just don't realize how hard Xenu has to work to lay all those Thetan eggs.
Submitted by fleawatch on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 3:19pm.
I scream Rattah Merrun......Rattah Merrun....but nobody buy ......
That's really, really funny!
It's Suze, like in booze.
After spending a weekend with an overly ripe canteloupe, nothing else seemed to grab Jon Gosselins attention
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"Why would I love a couch?"- Joe Guidice
try as he might, Tony Romo cannot get rid of his reoccuring nightmare...
QUICK!!!! He's birthin' another one of those immagrant eggs!!
Give me the good news.......Where do you get your hair done?
Jon couldnt wake himself from his nightmare of being trapped with Kate's fertilized eggs.
When I said I wanted to golden shower on your melons...this is not what I had in mind......
Give me the good news.......Where do you get your hair done?
Why so meloncholy Jon?
Investigators have finally traced the urine contamination behind the juice recall..
When life hands you watmermelons, pee in a jar and sit there.
I scream Rattah Merrun......Rattah Merrun....but nobody buy ......
Maddox Jolie Pitt ad campaign for 4-H County Fair.
The Thai hookers who blow ping pong balls out of their hoo-hahs have nothing on this guy!
It's Suze, like in booze.
A microscopic look @ Kates eggs and Jons one sperm
John Goslin finally know how it feels to be inside Kate. He saw the future and could not deal with it.
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slap me silly and call me Mary...
Melon: who's this asshole?
Another melon: Fucked if I know, man.
Melon: Okay then. Let's just lie here and be melons.
It's Suze, like in booze.
hoo lawdy iz i in dem heavenz?!
Okay, fair enough. I will always wash the melons I get from the grocery store from now on.
Jon Gosselin didn't expect getting butt-fucked by Christian Audigier would be more painful than fucking Kate Gosselin's hair.
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Don't ever think of fucking with me, because I'll fuck you right over.
Not what Chico expected when his friend suggested "we throw back a few drinks and check out some big melons"
http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com
Work all night on a drink a' rum
Daylight come and me wanna go home
Stack watermelon till the mornin' come
Daylight come and me wanna go home
Day, Me Say Day-ay-ay-0...
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I can't say you hurt me when you never let me near...
What's green on the outside and commie red in the center? Barack Obamas environmental policy *rimshot*
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"Why would I love a couch?"- Joe Guidice
That's what I call a ben-WOW ball.
Jon Gosselin is secretly planning on selling all of Kate's unused eggs on Ebay, then taking the money from that profit to buy out Ed Hardy.
Dear Alan,
The next time you're standing on a ledge, wanting to end it all and you're wishing to be buried surrounded by melons...
BE MORE SPECIFIC!!!!
Sincerely,
God
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
...here to your left is, the rarely seen, Melon hive and its Queen.
20 years from now Maddox is busy baby-sitting embryos at St. Angie's egg farm.
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"[Lesbianism is] not a word I like. As a matter of fact lesbianism has always left a very nasty taste in my mouth." - Dame Edna Everage
do NOT drink the brown acid.
I betcha Charlie Brown is wanking off somewhere.
octomom's brother has an attention grabbing plan of his own...he's just waiting for the melons to hatch...
John taking a break from fertilizing all of Kate's oversized eggs.
Ice tea? Check. Cigarette? Check. Getting to take a nap on 1,000,000 watermelons? Priceless.
every summer soltice the great watermelon hatches adn delivers magic seeds to those who believe...
Jon Gosselin finally found his balls.
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