Tony Dumped Jessica
Papa Joe won't be spending his afternoon in a bubble bath with his Crazy Daisy Love Doll like usual, because he'll be too busy begging Nick Lachey to get back together with Jessica Simpson so they can shoot another reality show together called Newlyweds: Once More With Feeling. Papa Joe knows that Jessica will have to find another way of staying relevant now that Tony Romo has dumped her ass after almost two years together.
A source said that Tony pink-slipped Jessica the night before her birfday. I guess that's one way of getting out of buying her ass a present.
Jessica was planning a Barbie and Ken-themed party for her birthday (and there's the reason why Tony quit her ass), but canceled it. The source went on to say, "She is heartbroken. She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."
Jessica took a break from drowning her sorrows in sheet cake (Jennifer Aniston already ate the country's supply of packaged cookie dough), to Twitter a little bit. Last night, she wrote: "Everyone needs to know that hope floats...grab the strings and pull it back to you." A few hours later, she added: "Falling asleep with my mom and the dogs. Please lord give all of my beautiful fans, friends, enemies, and family rest. Bring all of us peace."
What she really meant is: PLEASE LORD GET ME THE COVER OF PEOPLE THIS WEEK!
Hey Frybread - WTF?? What exactly did Tony Romo do except give her every chance in the world to get her father to back off? I'm proud of the guy for dumping the cunt.
So it turns out that Tony Romo is another stereotypical douchebag athlete after all. The kind that are dumb as a box of rocks but can score women and do so without thinking of who they hurt along the way.
What I want to know is why did this ho get serious with such a guy? Is she really that dumb, or did she think she could change him?
Isn't she umm...old for themed birthday parties...specially Barbie/Ken?
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
They are making an adorable couple though the guy ever joined the rich men seeking affairs club sugarscupid. c o m a few weeks ago..but all are past and they will stay together forever!
Color me shocked. And don't buy her 'sensitive' act; she has a track record of cuntiness when she thinks she's on top. Wanna wear that "real women eat meat" shirt now, Jess?
The pooch already knows where it's all gonna end. Look at it's face.
"Close your eyes for your eyes will only tell the truth and the truth isn't want you want to see..." - the Phantom
Money down, it was that horizontal striped dress that sent him over the edge.
(michael sheen's queen, that is)
oh James Haven, how i luff thee...XD
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
James Haven! You have been sorely missed ! Joey was worried that Angie did a Benjamin Buttons remake on you...thank god your smiling face has graced us again....and your 'hands' are quite full!
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
James Haven has been giving support and a shoulder to cry on for Jess ever since Tony dumped her and Daisy.
Papa Joe rang James Haven up and begged him to intervene but Tony would have none of it! "Mind your own business, James Haven you *@#$ creep!" was his retort when James Haven asked Tony to give Jessie a break.
Jessie was so looking forward to her birthday party and had planned a cake in the shape of Barbie complete with a punch fountain in the shape of Ken. Need James Haven tell you bitches where the punch was coming from? Nasty!
Well now the plans have been scraped and Jessie is besides herself. Not even a MaryKay makeover has cheered her up. James Haven has got alot of work ahead of him. Between cheering up Jess and helping LaToya find the killers, James Haven will be losing out on alot of beauty sleep.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 10:12pm.
Retarded circus clown has made Will Ferrell a household name.
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And he's got the Brinks truck vomiting cash into his basement.
Chestica acted like she was still in high school dating this guy. The pink, precious, girly football jersey with his number on it that she wore to one of his games? *Puke* unless you're 16.
Submitted by Green Is Good on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 10:07pm.
Retarded circus clown has made Will Ferrell a household name.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
He is so beneath her. It looks like she stopped to take a picture with a fan. She needs to step up and get some self esteem. He is gross. Good riddance.
Maybe if she hadn't gone from Tight End to Wide Receiver, he wouldn't have gone back to showering exclusively with large black men.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I don't care WHO she ends up with, I am just tired as hell having to see her ugly face with the blank eyes on every magazine when I go into the store!
They are making an adorable couple though the guy ever joined the rich men seeking affairs club sugarscupid. c o m a few weeks ago..but all are past and they will stay together forever!
Submitted by _meh_ on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 7:51pm.
Barbie and Ken party and all I feel for this bitch. We've all been subjected to cruelty from some asshole that we thought "loved us" oh well most of the people have. And this dude is cold. That was way cruel to dump someone on the day before her birthday and then go party the next day with his friends...
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Ain't that the truth!
He seems like a major douchebag. Advice to her--She needs to run when she sees red flags early in the relationship! Well, hopefully she'll turn around and find someone that is a better match for her. Someone who doesn't mind all the attention she gives. Someone who doesn't mind Barbie and Ken parties. LOL
AW don't feel bad Jess...get those tits back up and stick that butt out....and give Jenifer Aniston a call.
Maybe he dumped her ass because she wasn't polishing his pole frequently enough. Among 73,286 other reasons, I would guess.
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
<"They decided to part ways.">
Doesn't sound like it. Her Twit sounds like a suicide note after taking a handful of sleeping pills.
I used to hate Jessica a couple years ago. HATED HER!
I guess I was taking all those 'Women Studies' classes. I thought she was 'the enemy'.
Dumb blonde, no talent and yet managing to earn more money than anybody - who actually contributes to society in a meaningful way - will ever be able to.
Now though? I think I love her. I learned to love her high-waist pants, her dumb smile and even her god damned shoes, shoes I am sure she does not design, but yeah...
I'm sad to read she's suffering another break-up like this. I'd totally run straight to the store and grab as much ice cream and vodka as I could find to comfort her.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!?!?!?! You mean Jess isn't a natural blonde?
Cola me surprised.
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"You--only you--will have stars that can laugh!"
Barbie and Ken party and all I feel for this bitch. We've all been subjected to cruelty from some asshole that we thought "loved us" oh well most of the people have. And this dude is cold. That was way cruel to dump someone on the day before her birthday and then go party the next day with his friends...
Oh, and a Ken and Barbie themed party?
It's quite obvious JS is immature and just plain stupid.
LOLOLOLOLOL!!! I'm sorry for taking pleasure in this but WHO wants to marry into that den?
I know I sound like a broken record but she needs to find a nice, regular Joe, get married and have kids PRIVATELY.
Translation: stay OUT of the spotlight, Jess, can you handle that, you stupid tart?
You can't fix stupid. This bimbo is a one trick pony, so to speak. She is talented at nothing, other than being an idiot. Remember how this moron got invited to the Kennedy Center Honors and then fucked up her performance and ran offstage crying?!? True unprofessional.
Every "career" she has tried has ended in epic fail. Big tittied frog needs to give it up and crawl back under the rock from whence she came. Her stupidity is further evidenced by referring to the Lord with a lowercase "l."
No surprise he finally booted her. He has been cheating on her with football groupies since day one.
Submitted by miseralba on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 2:51pm.
oh jessica... i hope she finally will realise that she made a mistake breaking up with nick. nick was soooo good to her and not only did he put up with a lot of her crap, he put up with her crazy father as well.
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I know she's dumb but hopefully she's already realized her mistakes w/ Nick?...
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the end...
KANDYKANE: Your post is hilarious as well! Love it!
"Newlyweds: Once More With Feeling." MK, you crack me up! That's hilarious!
Ha, she's a stupid, fat, jealous bitch. I don't know how he lasted this long, that is the ugliest face to wake up to on the planet.
Ken and Barbie are lame. But my Spider-Man birthday party was rad.
Man, I would kick her inna box and steal that dog.
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Personal Jesus
I agree that 1. he was being pressured to propose and 2. he already has someone else lined up. As a poster said above, he was scouting Jessica while still dating Carrie Underwood. And Carrie said he still called her- and I believe her. Jessica tried to laugh it off. Just like she laughed off him cheating with another woman IN HER HOUSE and also breaking up with her right before Ashlee's wedding. The guy's a dick, but Jessica is sure getting hit with karma by the way she treated Nick.I can beleiev Tony has been cheating on her the whole time but now found someone he wants to go public with.
Holy pickles I've never been on a JJ Loonie thread and I just witnessed the end of the world on the twins' birthday post. Do these people really exist or is AngieHo putting all her kids to work on the internets?
mabe Jennifer will end up with Jessica's sloppy seconds...again! now that would be funny
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We can do it, it's all up to us mmmkay
With a little plan we can change our lives today
I hope it's true. I hope he never takes her back. She's a spoiled bitch who doesn't deserve nobody after what she did to Nick. She had a good man who worshiped her gassy ass and did not appreciate him. And why is it that everytime she gets a man, she gotta write a damn song about them? Then go on and on about her relationship before a performance. People paid to hear you sing, not talk about your damn boyfriend. Tony this, Tony that. He wasn't gushing about her like that. She should've took it as a damn hint and shut the fuck up!
Hope floats but so does shit.
who the fuck, came up with the "ken and barbie" theme for a birthday party when you're sliding into 30?
jessica may as well marry papa joe...he's the only steady man in life...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
One more reason to add to my "Why Tony Romo is a Jag-Off" list.
What?? He forgot to do it on Valentine's and couldn't wait til Christmas?? Goddamn! I have no love for Jessica .. but what a fucked up thing to do to a person.
Link to play with the loonies:
http://justjared.buzznet.com/2009/07/11/brad-pitt-moneyball-2/all-commen...
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Ha ha! Hope floats! So does S***!
aniston and simpson need to market this somehow...maybe come up with a brand of some sort of "single and fabulous" ben and jerry's , or write some kind of self help/"spiritual" book...or maybe a line of vibrators/sex toys...but really dumping a chick the night before her birthday ? that does make me feel a little bad for her
Rude! Dumping her the day before her birthday. He couldn't wait two days? That's just mean.
rocket said:
Whatever will she talk about onstage when she performs at the next Garlic Festival, etc?
Oh the garlic festival...that is the most hilarious thing i've heard all day
she looks pretty in this pic.. alot of pics I see of her I think, "meh, she's okay"
maybe it's the straight shot and the contrast in hair colors..?
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
Yo Chestica, Jon Gosselin is available and will fuck for cheap. Buy him somemore hair plugs, a 12 pack of Bud a day and help pay his child support and you have one swinging dick from PA!
This child can't keep a man. Her little sisters' relationship seems to be lasting longer than hers. Maybe she should take her route, find a not so famous guy ( oops Nick Lachey) and settle down with him. These famous guys get pussy offerings many times a day, it was only a matter of time before some new pussy would get a hold of him. He's a quarterback on a famous team.
It's about damn time. I think Tony's rather annoying on his own, but him + Jessica is just too much. They never made much sense to me as a couple anyway.