Harry And Pepper Have Broken Up
Remember Harry on Pepper (on the right during happier times)? They are the dude penguins who fell madly in love with each other at the San Francisco Zoo. For six years, they were just like any other happy normal gay couple. They spent their weekends looking at model homes for fun (Why did I used to do that?), hosted "Golden Girls" themed cocktail parties and even raised a babeh penguin together! Well, the gay penguin love affair of our time has ended. And it's all because of a homewrecking SLUT WHORE SKANK BITCH named LINDA (on the left with Harry)!!!
The SF Examiner says that Linda has stolen Harry from Pepper! Linda is the Sienna Miller of the penguin world! Or maybe she's more like the Liza Minnelli?
Anywhorypenguinwithnomorals, Linda has quite the reputation around those parts as a fish digging skeezer. A few years ago, Linda left her man for a much older penguin named Fig. Linda started rubbing her ice cold crotch all over Fig just a few hours after his woman died! Fig went off to the fake iceberg in the sky this year. A few weeks later, Harry was seen hanging out in Linda's burrow! You know that shameless whore Linda tricked Harry into going into her burrow by telling him she just got the entire last season of AbFab on DVD! Shortly after that, the two were shacking up. It gets worse for poor Pepper...
Not only did Harry leave him for a dirty dirty bird (LITERALLY), but his ex attacked him one day! And not in the sexy way Pepper is used to. No, one day, Linda and Harry wobbled into Pepper's burrow and started pecking at him like they were on The Jerry Springer Show!! The three had to be separated. Pepper was put in a different penguin exhibition while Harry and Linda continued to play house.
However, Pepper is now back in the same exhibit as Harry and Linda. Everyone is watching to see what happens next on All My Eggs. One of the zookeepers said, “It’s molting season in late July and early August, and around that time we see couples getting shaken up. It’ll be interesting to see if Harry spends any of that time with Pepper. We’ll have to wait and see.”
Harry and Pepper will be back together. TRUST. Nobody can toss Harry's feathers the way Pepper does. Harry will never quit Pepper!
That being said, Linda is one of my new idols.
Submitted by anthonybrown on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 10:20pm.
Great take on this story! It's great to see so many people interested in the drama on Penguin Island.
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Anthony Brown
Animal Keeper - Penguins
SF Zoo
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Anthony, to quote MK, please keep us posted on these "Anywhorypenguinwithnomorals."
Too sweet!!
Great take on this story! It's great to see so many people interested in the drama on Penguin Island.
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Anthony Brown
Animal Keeper - Penguins
SF Zoo
hahahahahaha..that was fun to read...thanks MK
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
Keep us posted MK, we're all dying to see what happens in "molting season"!
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Waiting for Britney's next meltdown...
That story just makes me want to cry. What a way you have with words, MK!
This is seriously the best thing I've read all day. This story held me captive like none other.
However, I'm a bit concerned about what that says for me. Is it sad that I'm living vicariously through penguins?
do u want to date with beautiful girls ?do u want to make friends with young and rich man ?so don't hesitate just join us sugarscupid. c o m.have a try ,u will find the man or the woman u want .
this story was so interesting. no sarcasm at all. I had know idea penguins had that kinda drama! I totally need more updates!
Linda, the homowrecking, oversexed penguin SLUT!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Harry was a total fauxmosexual. He was just going through a phase.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
jussayin, exactly!
bitch needs to stay out of Pepper's man, I'm tellin ya! TEAM PEPPER!!!
MK, you made my day again.
Linda, you go girl! You use that lil' downy birdie snatch to snatch whatever you want. That's why God gave it to ya, and that's why they call it snatch!
TEAM LINDA!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Bi-sexual penquins: how cute.
The Sienna Miller of the penguin world
LOL!!
If that's truly the case, she will wait til she knows she's wrapped her cryogenic pusseh around Harry, and then quit the bitch for a rich popcycle daddy with four kids. Harry will have to drag his frozen feathered ass back to Pepper, but hopefully, their bond will be stronger for it.
Can't all three just get along?
OMG tooo funny....Let's give Linda some bad fish.
I hate Linda.
funniest post ever, lmao
Submitted by dementa on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:38pm.
BTW I think penguins ARE monogamous but not forever. They have a mate per year and are faithful to their mate and egg but then they choose another one the next year.
.....so penguins are basically like Hollywood couples.
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We can do it, it's all up to us mmmkay
With a little plan we can change our lives today
Team Pepper all the way! Harry will soon tire of Linda's foul little red snapper and miss Pepper's penguin stick in no time!
www.hotmenonly.net
Damn you bitches are funny. lol @ the Jake/Austin/Reese love triangle.
I will not accept this. They didn't really break up. It's just tabloids spreading rumors. No... no... no, it didn't happen. It just didn't. They were forever. No. It's just not possible; please stop spreading lies like this, MK!
This reminds me of a recurring dream I have, except Linda is me, Harry is Silver Fox Anderon, and Pepper is . . . um, anyway - what a ho, that Linda is!!!
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Does it make me a bad person that I feel way worse for Pepper than I do for Jessica Simpson? Poor little Pepper,I hope Harry comes to his senses and drops that fishy twat Linda and heads back home where he belongs
Harry = Jake Gyllenhaal
Pepper = Austin Nichols
Linda = Reese Witherspoon
Oh Harry don't break Pepper's heart! What about the KIDS??!!
HORROR!!! No one tosses gay feather salad like Pepper.....poor Pepper...tossing his own gay salad...
This totally gives me hope for James Franco. I'm changing my name to Linda. Dirty dirty birds UNITE!
ESCANDALO!!!
(I would look at model homes for fun, altho I haven't yet. When we were kids we used to sneak past the rich people gates and look in their windows:)
♥ Threadkilla!
BritPics
OMG! I used to go look at model homes just for fun too. My best friend and I would ditch high-school and drive around pretending we were doing research for an "architecture class." I didn't realize it was a gay thing. We'd also see who could come back to the car with the best souvenir hidden under our jacket.
You mean The Wedding Singer wasn't the sequel to E.T.?
I'm confused.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
You can NEVER trust anything named Linda.
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
FINALLY!!! A reality show worth watching
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:43pm.
Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:20pm.
Mary Poppins isn't the sequel to sound of music?
*dies*
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i've been trying so hard all this time and that's all it took?!
The PEEN-guins.
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Bottom-feeder.
Aw, poor Pepper! Lost his fella to a lady! Linda, you whore - have you no sense of decency?!
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“He who hesitates, doesn't get laid.”
--Brian Kinney
Linda is probably just a fag hag looking for some of the fabulous to rub off. We've all been guilty of it from time to time. Nothing like a big ole queen friend to make you feel sassy and outlandish!
Why is this story the most interesting thing I've read on the internet all day? God I love Dlisted......
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What's the opposite of making sense? The Comfort Wipe! -MK
Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:20pm.
Mary Poppins isn't the sequel to sound of music?
*dies*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Bisexual penguin soap opera! This is too awesome. They should have a fricking TV show.
And how can you tell if a penguin couple has broken up? they all look alike, and they don't have PR agents!
BTW I think penguins ARE monogamous but not forever. They have a mate per year and are faithful to their mate and egg but then they choose another one the next year. So this is totally natural actually, the only unusual thing is that the penguin being serially monogamous is bi!
animals are bunch of dramatic bitches anybody watch Nature or Animal Planet?
the Desperate Housewives of Mother Nature would totally make me watch Bravo.
I saw this on the news this morning and I knew MK would cover it! Poor Pepper... you know, I don't think I've ever known a woman named Linda that wasn't either a skank or a total whackjob.
I totally thought the title of this post was going to be a euphamism for Tony Romo breaking up with Jessica Simpson.
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
They spent their weekends looking at model homes for fun (Why did I used to do that?)
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lmao! wth?! but it's true!~ aww, what a tragic gay love story of all time :(
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
@xerquina: No big haha. Although I like imagining Nanny McPhee as the sequel to Mary Poppins: "Fifty years later, due to the stress of raising someone else's children and THEIR children, as well, Mary Poppins had lost her looks. But her magic remained."
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Bottom-feeder.
Pepper needs to strut it in the Gay Pride Parade.
I will probably have my membership card revoked for this, but I have never liked Julie Andrews or her movies (ditto for Liza).
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I can't say you hurt me when you never let me near...
WHORE! Making him switch teams like that! She must have flashed front row Depeche Mode tickets in his face to get him to do such a thing.
They had a sweet pad, complete with a rainbow, when I saw them last year at the SFZ. Now, you're telling me they're going to have to sell that shit during a bad economy?
I hear Harry just scored a job with Ed Hardy.
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"F*CK OFF!" -- Harvey Yorke Price
Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:25pm.
:( sowwwy I'm no good with British musicals.i did like Victor/Victoria (again with the musical parts on mute)
Submitted by xerquina on Mon, 07/13/2009 - 1:14pm.
Sally, i've never even watched Mary Poppins.
I honestly can't imagine my life in a world without Mary Poppins. I'm pretty sure that explains a lot.
http://twitter.com/diegoblue
All My Eggs HAHAHAHA