Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
Could it be that a certain gay blade has shaved off one beard and grown another? It’s one thing to hang out with that friendly filly who has known her way around a queen or two. Now he’s clinging onto a more desperate dame who, if I’m not mistaken, never met a gay man she didn’t like. His undeniable charms have worked pretty well in the past - his breakthrough happened when he focused on a guy mentioned in this very column. That time, he landed a series. The only thing that could happen with this b* is he’d shrink half a foot and lose all his hair. (Billy Masters via Blind Gossip)
This sounds like Bradley Cooper, but I never got the feeling that his unicorn horn tingles for the peen. I guess the filly is Jennifer Aniston and the other one is Squinty Zellweger? Sarah Jessica Parker better step it up, because she has always been the official homo-lovin' horsey.
Damage control! Which hard-partying actor rushed back to his local AA chapter when he was caught drinking, but is actually still on the sauce? (Gatecrasher)
The Christmas tree attacker himself, Kiefer Sutherland?
This young star, who is swearing he is actually a very good and chaste young man, is actually anything but. We hear that he is sleeping with the wife of one of his handlers, and she is also a good deal older than him. Not Zac Efron. (Buzz Foto via Blind Gossip)
I'm mad at this blind item, because I instantly got an image of David Archuleta nibbling on a cougar with his baby teefs. Ugh.
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#3 is Robert Pattinson. "Handlers" refer to his many bodyguards he has by him everyday due to the crazed fans in NYC. What do you think?
#1 is definitely Bradley Cooper. There is no doubt in my mind as I was an avid Alias follower and in several interviews Cooper disclosed having a close friendship with talented Mr. Garber.
Yes, the friendly filly is Miss Aniston. Knows her way around a queen or two? Hello, David Schwimmer. It would make sense to think that the Desperate Dame is Renee.
As for the part that no one has figured out yet, after "Alias" and a brief stint on "Jack and Bobby", Cooper landed the lead role in the short-lived series "Kitchen Confidential" -That was his acting breakthrough! It was based on the memoirs written by Anthony Bourdain, so we can guess that he "focused" on him in order to get the role and got to flip-flop-fucking. It looks like Bourdain swings for both teams.
TTFN
eww, nick jonas banging an older lady is sick. He looks like he's 9.
Unable to face any of the other horses, the horse that posed with Britney in her Candies ad hides its face in shame.
On Topic: Im going with Chesney on this one too.
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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.
ohh-very good -----SugarMommamatch --C O M ----i think u will like it,,,trust me u may
find something let u excited.==a club about a night of s e x==.now join free
Oh, I've been SAYING there's something up with Bradley Cooper. I was getting the vibe that he was some kind of "walker" for lonely actresses. And enjoying the benefit of the publicity.
Can't say he's gay, but he's for hire...
the last one is one of the 2 younger Jonas brothers, I think. My 15 yr old sister told me that the oldest one (the scared lookin one) just got engaged, the middle one (gay) dated Camilla Belle and Taylor Swift, and the younger one (horny) is the one with the Cyrus whore. Apparently they have a tv show on the Disney channel too.
My my. I had no idea Bradley Cooper was on the down low. I wondered why his marriage to Jen Esposito was so brief (and admire their mutual discretion in not dragging out their dirty laundry).
If I were a gay man, I'd be honored to be squired about town by Victor Garber. That man is hot, no matter what team you bat for.
At any rate, I digress. I think the horny boy chile is one of those Jonas Bros. They could be categorized as "actors" since they had a movie come out, even though it flopped like a dead carp at the box office.
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"Stupid is forEVAH." ~~Ron White
OMG, OMG. I didnt know Victor Garber was gay. I always liked him but now I freaking LOVE him. I saw him in a play once and thought he possibly was gay. But Blind Item #1 is definitely Brad Cooper. Squinty married Kenny Chesney who is so gay.
2. Is most definitely Keifer Sutherland or Shia LaDouche.
3. I say Shia LaDouche for this item also. Jonas Brothers dont count as actors just singers. Same for David Archuleta. I love how his last name sounds like pork chop in Spanish. I would call him my lil chuleta but I digress. I think David is gay and will come out once his father lifts his iron hand or dies, whateva happens first.
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On a new topic, did any1 read how the Count is tryin to get back with LUMANN.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/07072009/gossip/pagesix/countess_luann__coun...
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Resistance is Futile!
Kenny Chesney, Renee's ex-husband is short and bald.
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Never Can Say Goodbye
Submitted by E.A.P. on Tue, 07/07/2009 - 12:21pm.
"The only thing that could happen with this b* is he’d shrink half a foot and lose all his hair."
What the fuck does that mean? It doesn't fit with the rest of the blind.
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THANK YOU! I was wondering that myself. I couldn't decipher it and was wondering if I had started hitting the sauce early today but I wasn't breathing vodka.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
Every time I read about a celebrity and his "handler", I think of that Lewis Black joke about President Bush. "He has handlers? Is he a BEAR?"
I suck at blinds, but the first one doesn't sound like Cooper/Aniston/Zellwegger to me. If Jennifer is the first woman mentioned, who's the "queen or two" she is supposed to have bearded before?
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Definitely Bradley Cooper, totally get that vibe from him. Now, with The Hangover success he is seen with lonely and lonelier, he was also linked to Cameron Diaz before. He did make out with Michael Ian Black in Wet Hot American Summer too (not that he is gay because he made out with another actor). He was totally with Victor Garber too! Plus, he did a whole interview in French the other day, so he seems kinda obnoxious too (not that speaking French means you're gay).
DeeDee: Haley Joel is 21 (too old for me)
*rimshot*
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Yes, I will now be branded a sex offender for suggesting 16YO Nick Jonas has a hot wang bone.
*gets laundry and ironing done before cops arrive to take me to jail*
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
its bruce bitch...
B* is b list celebrity... I don't know... Bradley Cooper is quickly becoming A list... B list short and cares about hair...
its bruce bitch...
The "charm" is a hint... like Julian Mcmahon from Nip/Tuck... he went out with Shannon Doherty and was on Charmed... I could totally see him being a friend of Dorothy
It seems like a long while since we've had blind items.
David Ar-pork chop nibbling with his baby teefs is some funny sight. How did I miss that one? LMAO
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Pull My Finger
I think #3 is the "I see dead people kid", Haley Joel Osment.
#1 - Kanye Smith's buzzed headed bimbo beard has been spotted publicly with RiRi beater Chris Brown.
#2 - Keifer
#3 - Jesse McCartney?
@ E.A.P. - yes, that's why he always has the hat on. He is the Brett Michaels of the country world.
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*Blondeface*
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 07/07/2009 - 12:22pm.
@ E.A.P. - I think they are making a reference to Kenny Chesney...hence the Renee Zellweger piece of the BI. I think.
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OK I get it now. Kenny's bald?
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Pull My Finger
Bradley Cooper is so not photogenic. He looked so good in The Hangover.
Wang Bone!
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Pull My Finger
When Bradley Cooper was a C-list star on 'Alias,' I saw him being squired around NYC by Victor Garber, his out co-star. They looked very friendly.
@ E.A.P. - I think they are making a reference to Kenny Chesney...hence the Renee Zellweger piece of the BI. I think.
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*Blondeface*
I really dont think it's Bradley, Jennifer Esposito doesnt do bearding, unless she didnt know. A city girl isnt that dense tho. Also Bradley is an outdoorsy type, biking the world and hiking, that crappy shit that some straight guys like to do.
@ Freebird - no judgement here I have RPattz as my avatar. I had to google Nick Jonas though to make sure he was old enough for me to be using horny and wang bone in the same sentence...hahaha. He is 16?!?!?!
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*Blondeface*
"The only thing that could happen with this b* is he’d shrink half a foot and lose all his hair."
What the fuck does that mean? It doesn't fit with the rest of the blind.
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Pull My Finger
Bradley Cooper allegedly was once in a relationship with Victor Garber of Alias.
http://static.tvguide.com/MediaBin/Galleries/Celebrities/S_Z/Vi_Vp/Victo...
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Never Can Say Goodbye
I don't know anything about most of these celebutards, especially the Jonas Bros. That's why I'm drawn in here like a bee to honey - for the good stuff!
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Cost of home alarm system: $700. Watching a stoner trip the alarm and feverishly try to remember the code: priceless.
Not gonna try to guess any of these blind items, but I will say...
Lady Gaga needs to steal this horse's mane and slap it on her forehead.
She's doing ALOT worse up there these days!
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Nick Jonas is the "chaste" star.
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I need you tonight
Cause I'm not sleeping
- INXS
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 07/07/2009 - 12:11pm.
Thanks Freebird! Those are pretty accurate descriptions. hahha Though they seriously all look the same! So which one dated Camilla Belle and how do we know Nick is horny?
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Nick always gives the horny eye, and IV says he's got a hot wang bone. I thought Nick dated Camilla Belle after he & Miley broke up. Not sure.
I AM OFFICIALLY A TWEEN! Fuck how did that happen?
#3 Whichever one got rid of his man bangs.
Luv the pic, MK...memories of being on Dartmoor.
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If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 07/07/2009 - 12:07pm.
Freebird, the youngest one is Nick Jonas, and it's sad that I know that. It's only because I want him to give me the wang bone. And apparently, he's equipped with that and knows how to use it, if this blind is him.
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BWAHAHAHAHA! I had to slap my mouth quiet when I read 'wang bone.' ♪♪♪ Everybody wang bone tonight!
Thanks Freebird! Those are pretty accurate descriptions. hahha Though they seriously all look the same! So which one dated Camilla Belle and how do we know Nick is horny?
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*Blondeface*
@MJT - I know Nick is the horny one and one of the others is named Joe, but I'm not sure which.
Here's Scared, Gay & Horny:
http://www.datelinehollywood.com/.a/6a00e550f08d9b883301156e406839970c-3...
Freebird, the youngest one is Nick Jonas, and it's sad that I know that. It's only because I want him to give me the wang bone. And apparently, he's equipped with that and knows how to use it, if this blind is him.
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
LOL at Freebird. I honestly can't tell them apart other than I know one has a serious relationship with his flat iron. But I've heard there is a "cute" one and I don't get it.
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*Blondeface*
Jonas' are a good guess y'all. I'm thinking that young one. He looks horny. The middle one looks gay and the oldest one looks scared.
#3: A Jonas bro?
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#1 - Bradley Cooper - not sure they could have made this more obvious. But I am still wondering who they are talking about who helped him land Alias.
#2 - Keifer or Sean Penn
#3 - One of the Jonas Brothers. But, what exactly is a handler!? It makes him sound like a dog or a horse. Anyone?
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*Blondeface*
I like all of MK's guesses. I can't think of any other ones.
Good and chaste? Isn't that the Jonas Homo's claim to fame? Maybe it's the littlest bitch, the one who is supposedly back to shagging the gummy Cyrus twat.
#3 Robert Pattinson
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And mother always told me be careful of who you love
And
# 2 could be Jonathan Rhys Meyers? (sp?) Ah, who knows? Not that much of an ESCANDALO either!
Aw! Cute horsey!
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Moo!