The Photoshop Awards: Brit Brit's Candie's Ads
If my little 6-year-old cousin handed me these pictures and said, "Look what I colored! And I stayed in the lines," I would totally believe her. I would also pat her on the head, give her a losing scratcher ticket (they don't know the difference) for a job well done and then immediately marinate my hand in a bowl of Purell. Kids have cooties. I would never guess that these are actual pictures taken with an actual camera. Photoshop fuckery to the extreme.
This is one of those "fuckit" jobs too. The hos at Candie's handed these pictures over to the Pshop artistes at 4:45pm on a Friday. They just slapped this shit together so they could hurry up and get to happy hour. Fuck, they probably did this job at happy hour. I mean, look at that white fence. Fences aren't supposed to look like that in real real. Although, the fence still looks better than Brit Brit's Kim Zolciak-approved wig. There's a tightrope...
And what is with Brit Brit's horse obsession? This is some Equus shit! Cheeto-uus!
ShareThis
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:46pm.
Let's reminisce about the bad old pink wearin' days, shall we?
***********************************
O my. Very nice. Let us see what we can do, shall we?
*slaps on latex gloves*
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by Grace Disful on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:50pm.
Coats, soothes, relieves.
LOL, Grace! For me pink has the opposite effect.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I am embarrassed for the horse.
**************************************************
" . . . this is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
Coats, soothes, relieves.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Submitted by sston011 on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:45pm.
Wow
! Nothing is ever what it seems anymore... What is this editing technique you speak of? Never heard of it
**********************************
Photoshop?...with this you can just cut and past, really...
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:46pm.
YAY!!!!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:41pm.
Since the *ahem* theme of this fuckery seems to be pink, it would be perfect if a talented Photoshop person, *angel_i*, glued on a head shot of Shitters at the height of her lunacy, wearin' that dang pink wig!
*********************************
You know what? I'm so on it. I need a short project, right now, and philosophy/verbal shanking is too taxing...it's poifect!;p
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Let's reminisce about the bad old pink wearin' days, shall we?
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2007/07/16-22/britney_spears-...
http://www.usmagazine.com/files/brit_blog_130.jpg
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2007/10/16-22/britney-spears-...
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
That was directed to angel
Yes Angel, I was very upset. I didn't care about all my lost email, only the CB rants. Priorities, man!
I second Deb's motion. This needs Angel's PS technique.
Wow
! Nothing is ever what it seems anymore... What is this editing technique you speak of? Never heard of it
Bitch isn't smiling with her eyes. I hate when people smile but there's no real joy in their fucking eyes. That shit looks scary as hell.
************
Trying to live without your love is one long sleepness night
Let me show you, girl, that I know wrong from right
Every street you walk on, I leave tear stains on the ground
Following the girl I didn't even want around
-I want you back, MJ!
In unrelated news, the increase in airbrush use is expected to cause an unusually severe hurricane season. FEMA is boarding up New Orleans with all residents inside at this very moment.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Since the *ahem* theme of this fuckery seems to be pink, it would be perfect if a talented Photoshop person, *angel_i*, glued on a head shot of Shitters at the height of her lunacy, wearin' that dang pink wig!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:31pm.
Hahahaha Angel! I forgot I send you one of CB's rants.
Jo - I had almost all of CB rants saved. But my Microsoft Outlook crashed (I saved them in the "Notes" section) and I lost almost all of them. *sadface times*
********************************
Aw! Harsh, dude. That would make me stabby. I'm really glad I asked you if I could save that one now, tho! CB will live on in our hearts forever...*sigh*....sometimes I wonder if it was Kanye testing out the waters before he went live...you know? ;p
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
More than anything, I can't stand the lip look where your lips are erased. It makes her look like a zombie.
Love to love ya baby!
Hahahaha Angel! I forgot I send you one of CB's rants.
Jo - I had almost all of CB rants saved. But my Microsoft Outlook crashed (I saved them in the "Notes" section) and I lost almost all of them. *sadface times*
I don't know about anyone else, but I sense the crazy is about to come back out. It can only be squashed for so long. When she was back in L.A. for a few days you could totally tell that she was dying to throw on the pink wig, talk british, and swing some umbrellas. I think that's why they keep her on tour. Keep her drugged up and busy.
and here's one GIG saved:
OKAY WOW HERE WE ARE IN AGAIN IN THIS CHAT AND Y'ALL ARE STILL IN THIS CHAT WOW! OKAY FIRST OF ALL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING GIRLS DO GET SUN YOU KNOW SUCH AS SUN ROOMS AND LIGHTS YOU KNOW! AND ALSO NOT TO MENTION ANOTHER THING REALLY DOES FIGURE Y'ALL BORING MOMS LOOK AT BUTT BURNS WITH BOOTS LIKE WOW!
But I can't find KFed's balls *sigh*. That WAS a good one....
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:19pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:12pm.
No, but I remember that one. I only have this: I AM TELLING THE SITE OWNER THAT HE IS GOING TO KFED AND STOP THE CHATS NOW OK! TAX THE BATTERIES WOW!"
And don't chu forget it, Jo! hahaha
***********
HAHAHA..that cracks me up! I like the subtle placements of 'WOW' and exclamation marks. Very zesty writing; (slightly disappointed that you couldn't produce KFed's balls though)
************
Cheezy: you were warned! German Cirque du Soleil
LOL@Dee: those are good ones!
OKAY IT REALLY DOES FIGURE I AM IN THIS CHAT AGAIN FIGURES Y'ALL IN THIS CHAT AGAIN REALLY DOES FIGURE WOW! OKAY FIRST OF ALL THERE IS A CHANCE HERE WHEN COURTS DO MAKE HER YOU KNOW HELLO! ALSO NOT TO MENTION ANOTHER THING ARE NEW TIMES SHE IS BACK BETTER WAYS MAYBE VIDEOS AND SONGS SUCH AS TAX!!
I got that one from you too, achally;p
U're a good saver:)
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:12pm.
No, but I remember that one. I only have this: I AM TELLING THE SITE OWNER THAT HE IS GOING TO KFED AND STOP THE CHATS NOW OK! TAX THE BATTERIES WOW!"
And don't chu forget it, Jo! hahaha
Prove that plastic surgery, botox and all of that are so yesterday ;-)
Submitted by Albatross on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:13pm.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 7:45pm.
her top in the pink hay shot is rather unfortunate. looks like she has a sloppy beer gut. *titter*
OMG, it does! Gross!
=========
Frappa-Cheeto gut.
************************************************
"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
************************************************
Her arm looks like its coming out of the wrong place in 2nd thumbnail. Surprised MK didn't comment on the hot piece holding the horse for her. You just know the horse in the 3rd one is sizing shit up so it can kick Brits in the teeth and make a run for it.
- <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 -
I think mastication means to chew your own penis...
Submitted by freebird on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:11pm.
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:05pm.
***
She totally did that on her Barbie Dress & Go Software. rad job.
***********************************
LOL! Totally.
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
hohoho, I saw her profile on the free sugar dating site ^^^^sugarmommamatch.com^^^^ last week. It said she is interested in
seeking a man on that site!
this whole mess looks like that My Little Pony doll set come to life.
------------------------
http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 7:45pm.
her top in the pink hay shot is rather unfortunate. looks like she has a sloppy beer gut. *titter*
OMG, it does! Gross!
**********
“Do anything, say anything, and fuck anything. No excuses, no apologies, no regrets.” --Brian Kinney
Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:04pm.
WOW OK! TRY TO MAKE ME CRY AND I KNOW THAT YOUR FRIENDS WILL TOUCH THE PIE GOODS WHEN THE ALBUM PLAYS OK WOW CAN NOT EVEN BELIEVE CAUSE STOP HER WHEN MOMS ARE HERE OR MAYBE EVEN STACK ON SLUT STACKS GOD!
*sniffs* Comingback where are uuuuuuu?
**********
Hahahahaha...ahh good times..I remember one particularly enthusiastic rant about KFed's balls and smelly socks and how he thought every song was about him...you don't have that one up your sleeve do you? ;)
************
Cheezy: you were warned! German Cirque du Soleil
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:05pm.
***
She totally did that on her Barbie Dress & Go Software. rad job.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:05pm.
You said it, girl. It's as if this graceless, slutty, low-IQ havin', smelly bumpkin is just a template. All she has to do is show up, and technology will take care of the rest....
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Doesn't even look like her! Holy shit. But, as others have pointed out, they just couldn't Photoshop out the crazy from her eyes. Yeesh.
**********
“Do anything, say anything, and fuck anything. No excuses, no apologies, no regrets.” --Brian Kinney
Damn, the eyes really don't lie, do they? With the rest of her 'shopped to death, the crazy/retardation just stands out even more.
_______________________________________
Ever see a man's stump? Guy's like, "Go on, man. I want you to know how it feels. Touch it. Touch my stump." Disgusting! So don't tell us that Bucky Haight wasn't shot, 'cause we were there. We touched his stump.
Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman to have sugar daddy??
It is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services came out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.
such as --- http://www.SugarBabyMeet.com/---
it's the biggest sugar dating site for beautiful woman and rich man!
@Deb: Truly. One day I went to look for some old pics of Brit for this or that and they were ALL some different girl. Like, every time. I'm thinking gah! If it wasn't for the paps we wouldn't have a clue what that girl really looks like! And I do think she used to sing but I *think* she got lazy mostly becuz they never really wanted her to sing after she "made it"...everything was canned cuz it was always so big...(my friend said she may have refused to use her earplugs ever and is suffering from hearing loss too)
Same with her vids...I noticed it in a newer vid - this editing that makes movement faster, right - it's way more noticeable than it used to be but they have ALWAYS done that - make her moves look more impressive than they really are...I've never seen her live so I couldn't say....but...well...
She's a lottery winner, that one.
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
MK:And what is with Brit Brit's horse obsession?
Mr. M: She's a size queen, but prefers to let us know metaphorically instead of yelling "Ah wants me a big dick!!"
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Submitted by freebird on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 8:02pm.
Cheers, freebird! This whole ad campaign looks like it was created and produced by some exec's 13 year old daughter for some extra summer spending money.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
That's horrible PS.. Jeeze, my blind friend could have done a better job then that shit!
I say we just be grateful that it wasn't like the Candie's Jenny McCarthy ads Just imagine BritBrit on the crapper with her undies around her ankles..*BARF*
WOW OK! TRY TO MAKE ME CRY AND I KNOW THAT YOUR FRIENDS WILL TOUCH THE PIE GOODS WHEN THE ALBUM PLAYS OK WOW CAN NOT EVEN BELIEVE CAUSE STOP HER WHEN MOMS ARE HERE OR MAYBE EVEN STACK ON SLUT STACKS GOD!
*sniffs* Comingback where are uuuuuuu?
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 7:59pm.
She's like a white trash hologram.
******
LMFAO!!!!
Could they have put her & the gay horseman farther apart? Great advertising.
Britney Spears is the perfect phone-it-in celebrity. Think about it. She doesn't sing and barely dances in her shows, and the images of her on her "products" aren't even her. She's like a white trash hologram.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Ahhh, horse shit!
--------------------------------------
"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
Neigh, the whole thing is fucking geigh.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 7:51pm.
And the horse, itself, is wearing Katie Price's line, yes?
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Damn, angel, you almost made me pee my pants laughing. If not Katie Price's line, then the House of Derriere.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 7:51pm.
<"There's a tightrope...">
You've used that before. Explain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That was the name of the song that white lady from Real Housewives of Atlanta did. And her wig was just as busted.
= ^ . ^ =
I miss crazy Brit Brit. Damn you daddy Spears for taking her away from us!!
♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
I just watched the MK interview and I swear to the Goddess' of Lucite and Cutlets the minute he spoke unicorn kittens followed by rainbow glitter shot out my ass!!!
She sooo looks like Jessica Simpson in some of those pics.
Kinda fitting really. They're both as dumb as rocks who can't sing.
Xtina - The New Album. Coming '09
http://www.last.fm/user/SpiritDreaming
Bitch is daaaazed. I miss the days of Cheetocon 5 Alerts. :( Someone please hand her an umbrella and give her back the pink wig from that one Pet Shop Boy. And pour frapp on her weave. Pleeeeeease.
****
You can't stop the BEAT!
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 7:45pm.
They paid her in cake..
________________________________
Ahahaahaa!
.
.