The Tale Of Titty Squirrel!
Amber Finney's chichis were the co-stars of the video that made the internet rounds last week and she's explaining why she had a babeh squirrel down her shirt. The video was taken by Warren, Ohio detectives during an interview with Amber about a drive-by shooting she might have witnessed.
Amber says the explanation is simple. A friend brought her an injured baby squirrel right before she was scheduled to meet with the cops. Amber didn't want to leave it alone, so she stuffed it right between her titty cleavage. I guess she felt that dying of suffocation or embarrassment was better than chilling out in a big, airy shoe box.
Amber went on to explain, "It had a broken leg, and I didn't want to leave him alone. You can't take animals into the jail, and it was the only place I could put him.'' Amber's chocha den was already occupied by a family of beavers and they had just extended their lease.
So basically Amber is just a regular St. Francis of Assisi. More like St. Francis of Chichis.
When the squirrel jumped out during her interview with Detective Mackey, Amber put him back in and kept on like some weird shit just didn't go down. Amber was afraid she would get in trouble, but Detective Mackey didn't say anything. Detective Mackey explained, "She didn't acknowledge it, so I didn't. I didn't know if I would embarrass her or what.''
At first, Amber was madder than fish grease and threatened to sue the cops, but now she's loving all the attention. Expect a Vh1 reality show starring Amber's titty balls and a bunch of slutty, drunk squirrels in 3...2...
Amber says the baby squirrel is no longer taking up space in her cleavage. She released it back into the wild. Poor squirrel is never going to be the same. When he sees a pair of plumpy bitties, he's going to go into shock and have the same reaction as this hot bitch on Maury. Never be the same again.
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Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 07/06/2009 - 1:34pm.
That thing could have been rabid, and could have bit her.
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Fortunately, the squirrel managed to escape unharmed, and unbitten.
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Bottom-feeder.
That thing could have been rabid, and could have bit her. Insane bitch. Smothering something between your inflated hobags is not helpful. Just leave it alone.
Whenever I'm brought in for questioning on murder cases, I leave my injured wildlife at HOME.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
"St. Francis of Chichis" --- that's rich!
When the squirrel jumped out during her interview with Detective Mackey, Amber put him back in and kept on like some weird shit just didn't go down. Amber was afraid she would get in trouble, but Detective Mackey didn't say anything. Detective Mackey explained, "She didn't acknowledge it, so I didn't. I didn't know if I would embarrass her or what.''
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Nice play, Amber!
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Just when I think Lady Gaga has hit the peak of desperation, she goes and dives into this woman's titty jungle just for a little attention!
I totally thought it said "Detective Monkey"! hahaa!
And "St. Francis of Chichis" (lol!) has an impulse control problem. Bringing a squirrel tucked in your tatas to a police interview is not the brightest concept. Ya think? But we needed the laugh. Humans do the darnedest things.
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NUTZ
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
LMAO @ "Titty Squirrel" !!!
You're the shit, MK! *MUAH!*
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Amber was madder than fish grease.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OMG priceless!
Happy Monday, DListed bunnies! And you, too, EH.
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Moo!
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this is one of the many reason you dont name your new born baby daughter amber, tiffany, ect...
cause wehn they turn out like this ...
she doesnt look like an amber...
rofl!! hillarious "a bunch of slutty, drunk squirrels"hahahahahaahhaaha
Coma Caca!!
"Amber says the baby squirrel is no longer taking up space in her cleavage. She released it back into the wild."
Poor thing - none of his little buddies will want to hang with a squirrel that smells like booby butter, stale cigarettes, and Exclamation! perfume.
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Beauty's only a light switch away.
Now did the drive by shooting have anything to do with the Squirrel? Does the little guy do a mean Rap or is he a gang member?
EH
a little titty lovin fixes EVERYTHING!
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
I live about 20 minutes from Warren in Yougstown, and believe me this shit comes as no surprise to me. There are some backwoods motherfuckers around here. The one local news station is now claiming in ads to be the first to bring you the national story of Amber Finney. They should drop in a little "as seen on the D-Listed".
Is she the neighborhood vet? What the hell is she gonna do for the squirrel that no one else can?
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)**********(¨`·.·´¨)**********(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)
*you've been far awaaaay. When I see your face my hearts burst into fire*
*Dont think too much just bust that thick*
how would it be good for it with a broken leg to be smashed between her jugs!?
Happy Monday everyone, hope all had a great holiday. I can't believe we are back here again already! BLAH!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
St. Francis of Chichis!!!! LOL!
I take it the squirrel wasn't considered a reliable witness, then. Unless it managed to peek through those massive funbags.
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Bottom-feeder.