Thursday, July 2nd 2009
This Is Unpatriotic
Okay, okay, Jessica Simpson's version of the National Anthem didn't make bald eagles bawl or try to peck out their own ears, but I'm sure they shed a few tears. My ear holes sure fucking did.
The chili cook-off chanteuse almost busted her dress open while singing at the AT&T National Golf Tournament in DC yesterday. There's no need to shout when you've got a microphone in your hand. You are not honoring Billy Mays by doing that, so just quit it.
Jessica's "sober pig getting circumcised with a nail clipper" yodel probably held the game up, because all of the holes on the green closed up during her performance. But you know Papa Joe's hole only widened while he watched Jessica's blow job faces (and her PJ-approved nipples).
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Has she learning nothing after all these years being in the biz? The way to get attention is to party out of control, flash her snatch getting into a car, have a meltdown, and then shave her head.
Why does she insist on forcing her voice like she's trying to push out a turd?
Oh and remember Jess, vertical stripes are your friend.
I saw this shit last night on the local news!
I was like Who's that killing the national anthem? Then I saw it was ms. Piggy.
Gawd I HATE this twat and her ugly sister
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
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First and foremost Jessica seeks publicity. She has learned in the past that assumptions about her weight thrusts her into the spotlight. Therefore, she picks out a ribbed dress with hideous horizontal stripes that makes her look terrible. She knows what she is doing!
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http://meganrebekahblogs.blogspot.com
Forget about the singing!
What's the grease in her hair? She needs a good shampooing! :D
At around 2:25, someone starts booing her, which then descends into moos till around 2:36.
Were there any DListers present there, by any chance?
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Bottom-feeder.
The dress was painful to see, the performance was painful to hear. In general, not great. And in the beginning, her head was rolling around like Stevie Wonder.
You know, at least Jessica Simpson knows her place. She sings at mediocre events in her mediocre voice while waving her big titties at middle aged golfers/hickbilly state fair goers/people who just happen to be at the opening of the newest Piggly Wiggly for her money. Sometimes while wearing mom jeans. This seems right to me. Blohan could learn a few lessons.
I actually think the woman can sing for the most part but the blow jobs faces are fucking annoying and its something that ALOT of females in the media do. I roll my eyes when i see the jaw dropped open to the point of snapping and breaking off, looking like their waiting for a dick to slam into their mouths. I guess its good for business thou.
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I'll give that performance half one snap. At least Chestica CAN SING unlike Shitney.
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Love the dress, the lack of undies, and the thin heels on thick grass. Romo is a lucky quarterback.
And why so mad? She is singing the anthem like she is pissed off at America.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:31am.
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:28am.
The horizontal stripes are not doing her any favours.
Maybe she wanted people to ask if she was pregnant?
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Hush your mouth! The world does not need another big-tittied caterwauler.
She would sing a hell of a lot better if she learned how to breathe properly...Her shoulders should not be bouncing up & down when she inhales, she needs to breathe from the belly...Dumbass.
And why is she wearing that terrible dress...She isnt fat, but she is short, busty & short waisted & has good sized hips & this dress makes all it look exaggerated & vulgar. What is wrong with pretty, light & airy sundresses?
Mike- I saw a picture of her from the side and totally thought her ass was a pregnant belly.
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"I do believe in goats." - Johnny Depp
I'm totally responding to that mating call, loves, TOTES!
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 07/02/2009 - 8:28am.
The horizontal stripes are not doing her any favours.
Maybe she wanted people to ask if she was pregnant?
My God. Why can't she just sing instead of scream? I can't stomach this bitch.
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Hey, jackass, mind not walking all over my goddamn flowers?
You shouldn't talk to the Reverend Hughes like that.
Fuck him.
The horizontal stripes are not doing her any favours.
Wow - all I can say - from the dress to the hips to the voice to the hair to the arm movements - wow!
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And Squinty is so *dramatic* when it comes to hailing a cab. This isn't a Hitchcock movie or a Chico's commercial, bitch!- Michael K.
Bitch takes herself WAY too seriously.
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"I do believe in goats." - Johnny Depp
MK, I'm laughing so hard at your comments, I cannot even post!
"Sober pig getting circumcised with a nail clipper" yodel.
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Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca