Michael Jackson's Return To Neverland
CNN says that Michael Jackson's body will go back home to Neverland on Thursday morning. There will be a public viewing on Friday and a private memorial service on Sunday at Neverland. It's not really know if Michael will be buried at Neverland. The Mayor of Gary, Indiana, Michael's hometown, has asked him family to bury him in their town. He said that Michael could be buried on the grounds of a new Jackson family museum and performing arts center. Translation: They want the tourist cash.
If you live near Neverland, you better beam yourself out of there now, because it's going to be lunacy. The tears from all his fans will flood the whole city, so if you stay, you better keep a kayak and some snorkel equipment handy. You also better get some ear plugs, because their wails will make your ear drums collapse.
When I first read about this, my skin crinkled at the thought of an open casket, but I don't know if they will go that far. Nothing surprises me anymore, though. Imagine all the MySpace and Facebook default pictures of sick hos posing with his body? I weep. Facebook needs to an install an "I Quit This Bitch" button for that reason alone!
And I better not see pictures of Joe Jackson selling tickets and souvenir brochures outside.....
Image: Reuters
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I can just see this whole thing going down.
Joe Jackson: How can I make money off of this?
Agent: Well, we can have a showing of him at Neverland Ranch. A last hurrah, if you will.
Lawyer: Just think of the licensing residuals when we open the place up for tourists...
JJ: Yeah, yeah. I like that. And I can pitch my shows while those suckers are here. Who would have thought my son was worth more to me dead than alive.
Coroner: (Wheeling in a casket)Excuse me. I have the deceased here.
JJ: Just throw him over there until we're done with this meeting.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:32pm.
There'll be an MJ pinata - $5 a swing.
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So the kids can be the one hittin' him for a change??
*rimshot
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"I do believe in goats." - Johnny Depp
I wonder how many MJ tell-all books are currently being written?
Papa Joe would sell Michael's bones if he could.
"I MADE THAT BOY I MADE HIM INTO A STAR HE WAS THE BIGGEST PRODUCT EVER AND HE SHOULD BE ON HIS KNEES THANKING ME"
Heeheeeeehheeeee
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Submitted by zomay on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:30pm.
Papa Joe will sell Michael's bones.
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you mean the white elephant man's bones?
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The dogs are probably drawn to Wino because her crotch area always smells like rotten brisket in an empty tuna can.
There'll be an MJ pinata - $5 a swing. Watch the kids fight over the innards.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:30pm.
ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:26pm.
Yep. I have to say - that was one of the best mistakes I ever made. O well, outside of conception, that is:)
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I've got one of those mistakes, too. ;)
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"I do believe in goats." - Johnny Depp
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:25pm.
Well I for one am waiting for MJ sightings at Burger Kings in Alabama, shopping at Wal Mart in Bismarck, and jogging in Reno.
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And every playground in between!
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I just watched the MK interview and I swear to the Goddess' of Lucite and Cutlets the minute he spoke unicorn kittens followed by rainbow glitter shot out my ass!!!
I think that Liza Minneli is the egg donor and David Guest is the sperm donor.
Suggested Pallbearers:
Bubbles
Macauley Caulkin
Webster
Corey Feldman (the one that was his "buddy")
And Tina the llama from Napoleon Dynamite can pull the cart with the casket on it.
ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:26pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:22pm.
I'm pretty disgusted with the way that MJ's been the white elephant in the room for the last 20 years...
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don'tmakejoke, don'tmakejoke, don'tmakejoke
"WHITE" elephant????
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
*cough*
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Yep. I have to say - that was one of the best mistakes I ever made. O well, outside of conception, that is:)
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
lots and lots of micheale jackson hauntings are going to be reported at neverland. just watch.
and michael should be buried in a secret location. some of his fans are loony and you know if any of them find out where he's buried they will try and dig up his remains.
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Isn't it Bromantic?
BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:25pm.
Well I for one am waiting for MJ sightings at Burger Kings in Alabama, shopping at Wal Mart in Bismarck, and jogging in Reno.
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Me too.
That's why papa joe is being a not caring dumb fuck!
;o
;D
A public viewing sounds perfect! Concidering this man spent his entire adult life hiding from the public, and refused to allow his "kids" out in public without face masks, I'm sure this is exactly what he would want. Nothing crazy about this at all. Nope...not a thing.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:24pm.
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I have visions of the Franklin Mint selling a limited edition replica glove with real imitation crystals.
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Colin Hay: Overkill
Submitted by Kandykane on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:26pm.
I'm hooking up my hot dog cart as I type ...
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I'll have a foot long, Chicago style.
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The dogs are probably drawn to Wino because her crotch area always smells like rotten brisket in an empty tuna can.
Oh, I think it will absolutely be open casket. When Selena was killed & her closed casket was on display for viewing, so many people became convinced she wasn't really in there (therefore not really dead), the family opened the casket: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyzF6oMBxzE&feature=player_embedded
I can't imagine the MJ circus will be much different in fans' fervent hope that it isn't true.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
I saw Michael Jackson on my toast this morning.
But I was hungry and I din't have time to make more.l
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
I'm hooking up my hot dog cart as I type ...
y thank u, RecessVillain! I was just admiring that, myself. *pats own back*
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
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Submitted by RecessVillain on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:25pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:22pm.
I'm pretty disgusted with the way that MJ's been the white elephant in the room
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I found 2 puns in this statement. BRAVO!
**golf clap**
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Throw me on the barbie.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:22pm.
I'm pretty disgusted with the way that MJ's been the white elephant in the room for the last 20 years...
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don'tmakejoke, don'tmakejoke, don'tmakejoke
"WHITE" elephant????
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
*cough*
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"I do believe in goats." - Johnny Depp
Submitted by jim on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:24pm.
WHY WOULD YOU WASTE TIME AND MONEY TO GO SEE A FUCKING PASTY WHITE, FUCKED UP NOSE HAVING CHILD MOLESTER AFTER HE IS DEAD????
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Why would you waste time and money to go see a fucking pasty white, fucked up nose having child molester when he's alive? Oh right, moonwalk.
The Bubbles stuff here is too funny...I think I peed my pants....Don't stop...more please
Well I for one am waiting for MJ sightings at Burger Kings in Alabama, shopping at Wal Mart in Bismarck, and jogging in Reno.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:22pm.
I'm pretty disgusted with the way that MJ's been the white elephant in the room
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I found 2 puns in this statement. BRAVO!
**golf clap**
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The dogs are probably drawn to Wino because her crotch area always smells like rotten brisket in an empty tuna can.
WHY WOULD YOU WASTE TIME AND MONEY TO GO SEE A FUCKING PASTY WHITE, FUCKED UP NOSE HAVING CHILD MOLESTER AFTER HE IS DEAD????
Submitted by loozer on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:22pm.
Submitted by LA on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:03pm.
*And I better not see pictures of Joe Jackson selling tickets and souvenir brochures outside*
You will.
For those who cannot attend in person, you can watch on pay-per-view for $29.99.
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Of COURSE you can! Now you can buy things from Michael Jackson! And now that he's dead there will be even more things to buy than when he was alive! It's an "IN THIS ECONOMY" miracle!
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
did the whole family live at Neverland Ranch? I mean could you imagine living with that delusional loon Joe? He spooks me the most out of them all..
I'm pretty disgusted with the way that MJ's been the white elephant in the room for the last 20 years and now they want to be doing all this comemorating. I really do think this should all be a lot more quiet and, well, over already. Already. Let's just watch all hell break loose. That's enuff, really.
♥ Threadkilla!
It's "FACEBOOK" not "ASSBOOK" ~ Bart Simpson's lines, Season 20
Submitted by Snoogle on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:14pm.
He is going to be a pallbearer.
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LMAO... i have visions of bubbles flinging dung at papa joe.
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The dogs are probably drawn to Wino because her crotch area always smells like rotten brisket in an empty tuna can.
Joe Jackson is indeed a revolting human being. At least Jermaine and Janet seemed a little broken up at their brother's death - Old Joe just used the spotlight to try and talk up a new business venture.
More than a few years ago a friend of mine worked as an accountant for one of the many companies serving Michael Jackson's fortune, and he expressed disgust at what leeches his family were (at that point they were a huge contribution to his financial troubles). I guess the suckage will only continue now that he's gone.
Submitted by LA on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:03pm.
*And I better not see pictures of Joe Jackson selling tickets and souvenir brochures outside*
You will.
For those who cannot attend in person, you can watch on pay-per-view for $29.99.
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Never Can Say Goodbye
Submitted by Stock Broker on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:19pm.
Throw him in the grave already and let's move on.
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Agreed SB. Be done with him.
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I just watched the MK interview and I swear to the Goddess' of Lucite and Cutlets the minute he spoke unicorn kittens followed by rainbow glitter shot out my ass!!!
Oh yeah, people will start lining up within the hour, no doubt JMP. Can you imagine the poor people that live in proximity of that place? Better make sure you've got enough food & medications to last for a week at least, cuz you won't be going anywhere unless you have a helicopter to fly in & out of there.
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
Submitted by dadada on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:16pm.
I have this awful feeling that they will not actually be displaying Micheal's real body for viewing.
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They could just replace him with one of his models from Madame Tussauds. No one would know the difference, dude was half plastic anyway.
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Tracy: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Jack: I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?
Michael Jackson is ALIVE. Hiding! That is why his dad is acting like his death means nothing.
;O
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I live fairly close by but I think I will give this circus a miss. Many, many people are going to be there out of morbid curiosity rather than genuine grief including myself so I better make it one less car on the road if you know what I mean.
I am sorry MJ died though. He should've given me a job. I would've sorted his ass out and kept it sorted.
UpDate, - One of my street corner advisors tells me that a bank/ real estate company that holds the deed to Neverland was going to let MJ move back in and sell it back to him after his London tours. Who knows?
BOOYAH!
Throw him in the grave already and let's move on.
Just like his London Concerts, I bet he MJ (his fam) will start postponing this just to get more attention out of the media.
BTW, Neverland is NOT owned by MJ anymore. It was sold at foreclosure. There were plans to bulldoze it since the buildings & grounds are suffering from neglect.
Maybe OK Magazine can get another lovely snapshot of a dead man for their front cover.
Mark. My. Words.
Tickle Loris in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
I seriously doubt they will have an open casket.
Speakit ~ It's important to me to do what I can.
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
I just hope this doesn't turn into an Anna Nicole style throwdown with people arguing over where to bury him. Bury the poor man, call it a day!
Oh, and lock Joe up in a shed somewhere. I'm so sick of his crap already.
Sorry world, it is time to move on. Nuttin' to see here, just keep movin'.
xoxoxoxo
hugs y'all.
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
Submitted by Snoogle on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:14pm.
He is going to be a pallbearer.
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LOL! Well they better put heels on the bitch cause that casket is gonna be leaning way too much on one side. Fuck.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I have this awful feeling that they will not actually be displaying Micheal's real body for viewing. The Jacksons are paranoid enough thinking about all those looters(Katherine, La Toya, Tito)stealing from him, that the real body just might disappear for ransom(Joe).It will be a mannequin. Those poor children, hopefully they will get some type of therapy, and not end up as pawns in this mess.
R.I.P.
Ed McMahon
Farrah Fawcett
Michael Jackson
Billy Mays
How soon before the line of cars leading up to Neverland start forming? My guess is people are already driving there and will be camping out there within the hour....
And I better not see pictures of Joe Jackson selling tickets and souvenir brochures outside.....
Why do you think it took this long? Joe was waiting for the t-shirts to get made!
Submitted by Sibsi on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:11pm.
Submitted by Mother Superior on Tue, 06/30/2009 - 2:04pm.
I know wakes are a traditional thing in some countries....but I'd have a problem with seeing a loved one dead. I don't know...I didn't grow up with that custom I guess.
How do they want to arrange the public viewing? I mean, there will be LOADS of people!
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I share the feeling of not being used to funeral procedures.
I hope that, for those involved and who truly loved him, that it is a ritual which will help them cope with the loss.
I usually talk a lot of shit here and I'm certainly VERY aware of everything that's been said about MJ, but I'm sure there were people in his life who looked up to him and are devastated now, so I do not want to get into a pissing contest over whether or not they should mourn him.
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You're right.
I mean, we all made our little jokes about MJ, but somehow he was always present and it's weird he's gone.
Some fans may have grown up with him and his music and I guess a part of their memories went with the singer.
So yeah, if they want to weave him goodbye, fine by me. It's just awful to watch how people try to make a profit out of it....
Tickle Loris in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4