Burger King Wants You To Suck On Their Seven Incher
Who the hell is in charge of Burger King's advertising? Al Goldstein? First, there was the ad featuring a nekkid Burger King for their cologne Flame. Then, there was that was square ass commercial. And now we have this!
Don't get me wrong, I love that Burger King is trying to tap into the slut demographic, but they're going to have to try harder than this. If I'm going to put seven inches in my mouth, I'm going to clean the cheese off of it first. Also, what are those little bumps on the top? Heeeerpes!!! So Burger King wants us to blow a cheesy, herpes-ridden seven incher? Okay, why not? Hand me a condom.
I'm also a little disappointed that they didn't cover that blow up doll's face in mayo. They are probably saving that beautiful moment for the commercial.
And I think someone needs to set up a party between BK's seven incher and the power bottom oven from Quizno's.
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Instead of having a woman with an open mouth, they should just have a big hairy wet red snatch in the ad. It'd get their point across better.
Submitted by KD on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:17pm.
They probably hold sandwiches like that down there and wave it around like they are sooo funny.
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So, you did see a German BK commercial then?
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It's a Suffragette City!
Maybe the men could order nipple cups for sodas.
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Submitted by gia: "I would rather be presented with BK's weird sexual nonsense than McDonalds wholesome, PC lets see how many minorities we can squeeze into this commercial bullshit."
LOL! True.
And where I live, the patrons at McDOnald's are less scary than the ones at BK. I wanted to take my kids for one of their 89 cent ice cream cones and I truly didn't want to expose my kids to that many homeless people at once.
And we live in NYC.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:18pm.
@Provy.
What about your, um, uh, girthiness?
After all, length don't matter when it's pencil thin.
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ITA about this one, too! Girth > length. (Not that I'm cavernous!)
Submitted by KD on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:17pm.
Too true.
You should put Kate's roadkill reverse mullet on his head.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:14pm.
I think I'd take that over mediocre sexy times.
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ITA!!!
@Provy.
What about your, um, uh, girthiness?
After all, length don't matter when it's pencil thin.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Burger King is consistently the most sexist and misogynistic of all fast food restaurants in terms of marketing. no wonder, misogyny and animal exploitation and abuse have gone hand in hand, it's the systematic oppression of those deemed "subservient" to patriarchy. Michael, if you give a damn in the slightest about the back-sliding of women's lib (from abortion Dr's murder to sexist ad campaigns) then please DO NOT endorse Burger King.
everyone, read The Sexual Politics of Meat by Carol J. Adams http://www.caroljadams.com/spom.html
Submitted by Queen of Poo on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:11pm.
When I am hungry Im not thinking about big asses and blow jobs, I just want to eat!
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For real! I mean, that is not the kind of protein I had in mind to consume.
I don't think it is clever at all. It is very unoriginal. You know some stupidass college frat boys say crap like that all the time. They probably hold sandwiches like that down there and wave it around like they are sooo funny. They make up lines like this every other sentence. So no, not original, just "edgy" because apparently that is what everyone thinks is cool these days.
Do you think the commercial will be footage of trains going through tunnels while Billy Squire sings "Stroke"?
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Not subtle at all. Looks like something Brian Kinney would come up with. LOL
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"I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking." --Brian Kinney
I think I'd take that over mediocre sexy times.
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Team Enthusiastic Wizard Broomstick Meets Thrusthole!
Submitted by JillyPoo on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:12pm.
Meh, any food that needs to rely on sex as its selling point is probably just going to let you down. Just like a lot of men with 7 inchers.
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LOL! Basically their ad is:
Just average food. Like your seven incher.
Haha!
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
I would rather be presented with BK's weird sexual nonsense than McDonalds wholesome, PC lets see how many minorities we can squeeze into this commercial bullshit.
And don't even get me started on the mixed metaphor. It's "blow your mind" or "blow you away". Pick one, asshole.
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I’m just saying it’s a perception that can be perceived from it.
Submitted by cornpone on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:10pm.
food and sex just don't mix...
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Then you're not doing it right.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Meh, any food that needs to rely on sex as its selling point is probably just going to let you down. Just like a lot of men with 7 inchers.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Submitted by cornpone on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:10pm.
food and sex just don't mix...
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That isn't what George Costanza thought!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHchl4AxsE0
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 11:40am.
I hope they keep that shit in the states! Don't be brigging that crap to the UK!
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Let's check the balance of trade:
UK: took Madonna
US: took Russell Brand
UK: took Gwynneth
US: took Russell Brand
Nope, still out of balance. UK must take BK ad.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by cornpone on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:10pm.
food and sex just don't mix...
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then you've never had fun with fruit!
KD's picture
Submitted by KD on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:09pm.
Ok, I am really grossed out by the way these places are trying to use the whole "sex sells" technique. It is just disturbing to me.
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When I am hungry Im not thinking about big asses and blow jobs, I just want to eat!
Obvious much? I think they're desperate because fewer people are willing to ruin their health.
I guess they're trying to convince people that a stroke is a GOOD thing, Cause sometimes, it is!
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I’m just saying it’s a perception that can be perceived from it.
Submitted by cornpone on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:10pm.
food and sex just don't mix...
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as George Costanza found out...
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
food and sex just don't mix...
Submitted by angie c on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:06pm.
But what grown man is going to be all "I would like a big seven incher please!" "Put it in me Scott!"
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The average man who will be more than happy to say: Take my seven incher and stick it in that girl's mouth, please.
...if a picture is worth a thousand words...and the actual words up there only total 15 (minus the 50 that no one will really read unless they're stuck with it, somehow)...then I'd say the picture is winning.
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
Ok, I am really grossed out by the way these places are trying to use the whole "sex sells" technique. It is just disturbing to me.
Manimal - that was sooooo wrong, but LMFAO!
Submitted by kacky on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 12:07pm.
Hahaha! That avie is hilarious!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Who is working on these ads? Ron Jeremy?
are all of their ad execs drunk or something?
Provy, "backstroking" will make you tired!
Ick. Nast.
I guess the kids happy meal will only have a 4 incher for the kids to suck..I mean it.
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I just don't get the demographic BK & Quiznos are going after, unless they are aggressively going after gay guys. I guess that makes sense b/c gay males generally tend to have more expendable income.
But what grown man is going to be all "I would like a big seven incher please!" "Put it in me Scott!"
I mean except for MK of course who is probably at Burger King right now beggin' fer a hot 7 in as we type
Ummm I was talking bout my shoe size, what are you.....? OHHHHHH,...YOU HORZ!!! ; P
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"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
I'll be back for open post
off to a meetin'
Someone get a ruler. In my experience if they say 7, it is more like 6. If they say six, it is more like 5, etc. However, I trust Provolone to be telling the truth.
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Come sit on Uncle Loozer's Lap and tell me what's wrong...
GSTQ
This is so explicit its not even funny. We'll just have to see how the public takes to this. So wrong, yet so right.
beyondrace.com
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 11:49am.
not to toot my own horn, but this sandwich could easily be called the 'provolone'
ROFL! Nice.
You, uh, seeing anybody?
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Right!!!
Dallas, maybe Provy means 7" flacid?
Submitted by angie c on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 11:52am.
i loved those commercials! the cowgirl on the swing, the farm aminals.. :)
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 11:47am.
DAE,
They cant. 17 cms just does not sound as sexy. Or does it?!
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Us Ukers ain't like the Amnerican South! We do inches, lol
Xtina - Light & Darkness. September '09
http://www.last.fm/user/SpiritDreaming
Ahhh, Provy............I thought you were at least a 9 incher! Thanks for bursting my bubble!
I had one of my rare, every year or so, craving for fast food, so I got an Angry Whopper. Let me tell you it tasted WONDERFUL, until it was digestion time and then I wanted to ralph.
Submitted by angie c
I got a wet bun once too... sickest fucking thing ever.
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Next time, don't order a Money Shot.
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Go forth. Be conquered. Go forth and die. - Dethklok
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So, do the dumbasses at Burger King really want women to equate penises with their greasy, nasty, horrible sandwiches? Brilliant, losers.
No one will ever get a blow job again.
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 11:49am.
not to toot my own horn, but this sandwich could easily be called the 'provolone'
*puts thumbs in suspenders, whistles*
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Are you sure you're not Brunost?
I remember when the chicken bacon ranch sandwich commercials came out & I was convinced BK's advertising department had a lot of pot on the brain.