Cry It Out, Girl
Peter Andre didn't care about effin' up his make-up when he burst into tears at the airport in Cyprus yesterday. The Sun says Petey broke down immediately when he was reunited with his mommy who flew in from Australia. A source said, "He was stunned to see his mum at the airport. She's been really worried about him, especially as he's lost so much weight. She wanted to see him for herself and comfort him. It was all too much for Pete and he just broke down."
Peter should really only be crying tears of joy, because look who is with him in Cyprus. It's HARVEY! Whenever Harvey is around, nobody should be sad. A smile from Harvey is like being embraced by a Snuggie made from rainbows. He also has the same effect on people when he tells them to "fuck off."
The one who should be crying is that gay slut Katie Price! While Peter gets to spend time with the greatest child on earth, she's spending time with the worst straight-for-fame hooker ever. Yes, Katie is still slutting around Ibiza with that supposedly straight dude ( insert queef noise here). You know what's making my soul cry? Those jeans tucked into those fugly ass boots! I'd have to keep my eyes up while sucking the peen, because if I looked down, I'd choke on my own laugh.