Coming Up Next On Jon & Kate Plus 8.....
DIVORCE! Yeah, I totally thought the big announcement Jon & Kate are going to make on their show this Monday is that they are sending the beast on her head back into the forest to live with its relatives. Naw, they are reportedly going to announce it is OVAH between them. If you didn't see this coming then I'll have what you're having, because you are on some serious shit.
A source (aka COMMON FUCKING SENSE) tells Radar that they were originally going to announce their separation on July 15th, but it's been fast-tracked. Jon will kindly ask for his nuts back next week by filing for The Big D!
Jon & Kate haven't really been around each other the past few weeks. Mostly because whenever Jon comes around, Kate's hair starts growling. And when whenever Jon's no-nut area is around Kate, it starts whimpering. It drives everyone crazy.
Does this mean TLC is going to give them two shows now? To be honest, I wouldn't mind a second show starring Kate and her possum head. They could travel the country in a Winnebago and get into all kinds of trouble. It would be like Milo & Otis.......except cuntier....and with chunkier highlights.
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Yeah she's a cunt and yeah, he's acting like a tool but I till think this is sad. Preventably sad (cancel the damn show! put your family first!) but sad nonetheless.
Poor kids.
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"Oh hellllll yes! I just bought a ticket on the RobPatt crazy train!!! Chooo-Fuckin-Chooo!!!"—Clarisse
"Eyebrows, you in danger girl!"
i think they're gonna say they're renewing their vows and doing a wedding special.. everyone thinks they're going to announce the divorce but they'll probably do something gay like this!
first?