Not-So-Happy Ending
The Mormon daddy of David Archuleta, the baby-teethed mouth breather from American Idol, was arrested this past January in Utah for allegedly soliciting a prostitute whore in a massage parlor. Busted after busting a nut? Ain't that a stone-cold bitch.
Radar says that Jeffrey James Archuleta was involved in a police raid on a massage parlor in Midvale, Utah. The police sergeant said the massage parlor's landlord knew something in the jizz wasn't clean when he noticed that the employees were always dressed like sluts. When the police sergeant couldn't find a business license for the hand job factory, they raided the joint! There was only one john there at the time and it happened to be none-other-than David Archuleta's papa je'e'!
They found Papa Archie laying on his belly with a masseuse wearing lace panties standing over him. When the police asked him if he got sexy with the leased ho, Papa Archie admitted that he had. He also said he found the place on Craigslist (enough said). Papa Archie was cited and released. His second release of the day!
Papa Archie's lawyer is now chirping that his client never got milked during the massage. He said his client went to the massage parlor for a back problem. IT WAS A BACK PROBLEM! A. BACK. PROBLEM. I believe him. Any fully-trained licensed massage therapist will tell you that the quickest way to relieving back pain is a finger up the asshole and a jerk of the peen. It works every time and it's not sexual. When it involves rubber gloves, it's medical!
This is actually a big bowl of laughs, because wasn't David's father a total cunt during American Idol? I think he yelled at people constantly and was even banned from the set a few times. We can just blame it on his back problem.
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Check it - You can see in the photo that his dad is wearing his "magical underwears".
It seems that she is dating online now. I saw her profile on dating site "M y I n t e r r a c i a l M a t c h. c Om " last week. It is said she is dating with a young black man there..
"Butters Archuleta"
ROFLMAO!
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"I can't help it the kid was too short to reach my dials!"
Butters Archuleta.
im not any religion, but i HATE HATE people that make intolerant comments about ANY religion. fuggin haters
there are shltty people in every catagory
in every religion
so if any of you actually have read/learned about mormons or scientologist
then quit trying to sound smart by quoting south park
He gave himself enough rope. LOL!
good to know that whore massagers and the people who pay for it are not affected by the economy...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
Submitted by dogfood on Thu, 06/18/2009 - 12:00pm.
I'd say 20 percent is a normal if not decent tip
poppa archuleta and his wife came into my restaurant once. she hardly said 2 words.
i had no idea who he was and he kept asking me if i did. he said he was with the "tour." i said "what tour?" he said the music tour. i said "which one?" he said "american idol."
so i'm like, ok, why should i carE? he says "i'm kinda like their MASCOT!" "so you're like the favorite roadie or something?" "NO I'M DAVID ARCHULETA'S DAD."
so i said, oh, i've read about you on perezhilton and shit like that. and then he freaked out about how the media wants to demonize him and make his son seem unclean.
i didn't really care because he tipped 20 percent.
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Thu, 06/18/2009 - 11:50am.
As I've always said, Mormonism is just Scientology for the Everyman. The only reason they're accepted is that they hate the "right" people.
A nice Thai boi hung like a horse?
You can spend your whole life in pain looking for that and never find it...glad you stuck with back surgery instead. LOL
"Please keep your voices down, I have shopped and dated extensively throughout this market" - Blanche Devereaux
Ugh.. those Mormons, Jekyll & Hyde personified..
using their religion to run several corporations tax free and are nothing more than a PAC to stop gay marriage..
SICKOS!!
poor cutesy-wutesy ... he looks so pained and tortured in this pic with his merciless warlock of a father..
American Idol is a hotbed of sick dysfunction .
"You ARE a whore,darlin"- Cristal Conners, Showgirls
I've said it before: show me a Mormon, and you'll find a prostitute (cf Aaron Eckhart/massage parlour).
Ryan Fischer:
We are only midway through the year's fuckery.
Who knows what else dumb hos, skanks, and tricks are gonna do in th elatter half of 2009.
If Britney can keep her legs closed for an entire year, we all may be out of a job!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes
He is cool.love him.
Have fun, find your love for free..== http://www.millionairechats.com ==
where is so many hot girls and sincere man are looking for their romance there. Some celebs have accounts there, and they are very attractive there.
I didnt need the back surgery after all.I just needed an hour with nice Thai boy that was hung like a horse.
Race Bannon ~ welcome to Dlisted.
As a new poster, you need to watch "Showgirls", 24 straight hours of Lifetime TV and every Golden Girls episode made.
Mormon hookers in Utah.
Who'd guessed they existed.
I say legalize prostitution. Who gives a crap if a guy wants to pay to get off?
My God, the old man looks like Anthony LaPaglia.
That's who I thought it was.
I wonder if he got li'l Davie a hooker on
his birthday, to make him a man.
Thanks islandgirl! The 'Christian' part scares me but I'll still check him out!
PS For anyone even slightly unfamiliar with Craigslist, yes, any masseuse advertising on there is most certainly a hooker. It is not a legitimate place to advertise real massage services, especially by an actual massage parlor and not just a freelance masseuse. That massage parlor be a WHOREHOUSE, y'allz!
Poor kid.
Although for some evil reason, I don't think getting a hand job from a woman at a massage parlor is so terrible. I guess it's against the law, but I don't think it's terribly immoral or wrong. Don't tell Mr. Hekki I think that, though...
hahaa - I thought that was a picture of Dr. Phil!
Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman to have sugar daddy??
It is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services came out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.
such as --- http://www.SugarDaddyChat.com/---
it's the biggest sugar dating site for beautiful woman and rich man!
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome.
I feel like the new kid in school!
On Topic- His shirt reminds me of Where's Waldo! Where's Fetus?
Submitted by bitchette on Thu, 06/18/2009 - 9:46am.
HA HA HA
eat it, bitch!
she's a second wife, right?
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LOL Glad I'm not the only one who thought of that
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Is this real life?
What about cat without a face??
Could he be hs?
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Is this real life?
I don't know much about the dad but I did read stories that he was overbearing while his kid was on Idol.
My "concern" is that he would look for a massage therapist (used loosely) on Craigslist. Really? Why search "massage therapist" in his local area if he needed someone for a back problem. If I were a judge I would throw my gavel at him for that lame excuse.
LOL @ this whole post.
Hi ricki... it's by a guy named Mark Lawrence. I stumbled across it the other day--- he calls his work "Christian contemporary", whatever the hell that means. :)
It is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services came out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.
such as ---- http://www.Meetrich.com/---
it's the biggest sugar dating site for beautiful woman and rich man!
Judging from the avies, Gosselin Hair is the hottest slut of the year, so far.
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Bruno asks the Real Slim Shady to please stand up.
HA HA HA
eat it, bitch!
she's a second wife, right?
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
islandgirl I LOVE your avatar! What is it, do you know?
Hypocrisy's a bitch. Where where those good 'ol Christian values when you were soliciting a prostitute...
Welcome Race Bannon!
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'Mom, do you ever feel, you know, not so fresh?'
SuBo in the dress and Quween with K8's hair. Now that's a celebrity Deathmatch waiting to happen!
@ RyanRischer -- ITA on your "...she's a complete lunatic that's about to unleash herself onto the world!"
She's the type of funny that's embarassingly funny. Lunacy at it's finest.
Welcome aboard Race. Ready for a long bumpy (like go cart's funny) ride?
@VegasLamb...LM"non-lace wearing panties"AO ... that's normal too right? :)
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 06/18/2009 - 9:29am
there are still five and a half months of the year left. someone better will come along..trust
but so far im betting on the gossposs
Submitted by Ryan Fischer on Thu, 06/18/2009 - 9:28am
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How 'bout Susan Boyle wearing the Racist Slut Dress vs. Quween?
(Hi IG!)
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It seems that different people have an idea of what I am, and what I should be. And then there's me.
Submitted by Race Bannon on Thu, 06/18/2009 - 9:28am
i thought the same thing, just taller and with out the ginge
There is NO FUCKING WAY Susan Boyle is going to be HSotY! Not if I can help it!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Paquita, thank you!
On Topic- David's dad looks like Danny Bonaduce a bit.
A back problem? That's the lamest excuse since "THEY'RE NOT MY PANTS!!"
The Breakdown: While I think both Quwueen and the Dress are good bets, I think Susan Boyle going from crazy cat lady to inspiration to a truly crazy cat lady to I'm sure a total and complete DIVA all in one year should warrant her the award. I mean, she's a complete lunatic that's about to unleash herself onto the world!
you know someones gotta keep the ho's in business why not this douche...
there was a news story last week or so that hookers are having trouble making money these days and having to lower their prices... so im sure he got a good deal..
MK, we're still chuckling over your "Run, Fetus, Run!" comment from David's AI days, concerning his dad.
Poetic justice at its finest. I'm sure Simon Cowell is howling with glee right now.
Welcome Race Bannon!
Poor kid, seriously to be embarrased by something like that. On the other hand David's music now can reach different crowds like those dudes in jail and "massage parlors"
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Is this real life?
Coupla things...Dad's a dirty douche who can't even bust a ball right....BUT what about this landlord. C'mon...the people that cum to my mind for "Massage" PARLOR aren't the ones that I go to in the mall or at a spa....i always get the most granola crunchiest ones.
*If women are Madames, what are the males?*
Not surprised.