Jennifer Aniston Is In On The Joke (I Think)
Maddox's nemesis was honored at the Crystal + Lucy Awards yesterday for her contribution to film and the tabloid industry. By the way, I knew two sisters in junior high school named Crystal and Lucy. They wanted to be cholas so bad, but their facial features just weren't made for dark lip liner and Sharpie eyebrows. They gave up on that dream and decided to get knocked up at the same time instead. It warms my no-heart that they have an entire awards show named after them now. If anyone deserves it, they do.
While accepting her award, Jenny Aniston once again joked about her love life, "I have a strange parallel with movies I was doing and my life off screen. First, it was The Good Girl...which evolved into Rumor Has It, followed by Derailed. Then there was The Breakup. Followed by the lighter side, Friends With Money. If anyone has a movie called Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Man, that would be great! I'm at table six, and my agents are at table 12."
Then Jennifer laughed like she's never laughed before! Then slowly her laugh turned into a quiet cry which turned into a category 7 Tsunami of tears. Then she pulled pieces of her own hair out while mumbling, "You stupid, stupid, stupid, you stupid stupid..."
But seriously, Jenny's next movie is called The Baster, so she maybe she should put on her sexiest dress and start cruising the kitchen utensil section of Crate & Barrel.
Here's more of Jenny last night looking hot while wearing a beautiful dress made by Reynolds Wrap. She used her dress later to make a delicious meal of roasted chicken and vegetables....for one.
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She looks like she has aged 5 years since I last saw pics of her. And sorry AJ haters, I don't get what hating AJ has to do with liking JA. And no, I'm no brangeloonie.
I seriously think she has one of the best bodies in Hollywood.
AJ looks like a used up piece of jerky next to Jen.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Submitted by grace kelly on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:30pm.
DiamondDawg,
Did you seriously stop speaking to a friend over a celebrity? This stuff is all supposed to be in fun. It has no bearing on real life.
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Dude. Tell it to Michelle. She's the one who screamed, "I'm not going to sit here and listen to this!!!" threw her napkin down, grabbed her purse and stormed out of the restaurant.
She was going on about all the good things skeletina was doing. I said, "like what?" and she lists the u.n. and the adoption. I simply rolled my eyes and said the U.N. is the most evil entity on the planet and heroine addicts shouldn't be allowed to adopt. That's all I said. Calmly, too.
She's done her crazy in my house prior to that. Screamed about some other topic I disagreed with her about.
So, you're mistaken on your interpetation. This person is volatile and there's no room for her in my house.
We've been "not friends" now longer than we were friends. We moved into the neighborhood and she forced herself on us. Had to put the brakes on that insanity. The July incident was just the final straw-icing on the cake.
Submitted by xerquina on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:30pm.
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:20pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:13pm
Men I'd Fuck:
-ummmm, an astronaut
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bring adult diapers,duct-tape and a rope. i hear it turns them.
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wooo! i'm ready for astro-love! haha
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Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:28pm.
hahaa! (ditto on kevin bacon) i couldn't think of anymore either!
i know they'll come to me, in a minute?!
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DiamondDawg on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:23pm
Funny enough, none of my girl friends even remotely like Skeletina.
They used to think she was "interesting" but now they don't get it at all.
As for Jennifer, she's just there, no hate, no love, just she's Jennifer Aniston, that's it.
Go figure.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
DiamondDawg,
Did you seriously stop speaking to a friend over a celebrity? This stuff is all supposed to be in fun. It has no bearing on real life.
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:20pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:13pm
-ummmm, an astronaut
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bring adult diapers,duct-tape and a rope. i hear it turns them.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:20pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:13pm.
It's totally stupid. They don't have a MEN IN FILM award (as far as I know)
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hmmm. MIF, Men I'd Like to Fuck:
-Prince (SHUT UP!)
-Prince Harry
-Bob Dylan
-Daniel Craig
-Craig Ferguson
-ummmm, an astronaut
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Men *I'd* like to fuck:
Kevin Bacon
James Spader (less 40 lbs)
I can't think of any others at the moment...
*bangs menopausal AJ h8tr head against wall*
She finally broke down and got the rock hard titty sacks installed.
I'm really disappointed.
Meh. She's cute and good at what she does. It's impossible to get worked up over or hate on this woman. She clearly has a good sense of humor about things and always keeps it classy.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:13pm.
It's totally stupid. They don't have a MEN IN FILM award (as far as I know)
_______________________________
hmmm. MIF, Men I'd Like to Fuck:
-Prince (SHUT UP!)
-Prince Harry
-Bob Dylan
-Daniel Craig
-Craig Ferguson
-ummmm, an astronaut
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edit: okay, properly, the acromyn spelled out would be Men I'd Fuck
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Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:11pm.
She's wearing the Anti Loon outfit.
And because I hate Skeletina and automatically must worship Jen, even if I post I am not loving her in these pics, somehow it will be translated as I am a fat lonely HEND, with dried up ovaries and I am an ocean screaming jealous hag.
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You know what's crazy interesting? My neighbor, M, is a total AJ LOON and I'm a h8tr, but I don't necessarily love Jen, either. M and I had a fight about AJ last year in July and we haven't spoken since except for terse hellos. I'm married with pets. M. is going through vicious divorce where she was forced to pay child support for the older son who lives with his dad only because he hates her. The younger son shuttles back and forth between the two and he's the bargaining chip. M. is a femi-nazi and can't have civil conversations with anyone who doesn't agree with her 100 percent. M. looks as if a barber cuts her hair, her style is Lands End-ish, and she wears absolutely no make-up. I don't think she's ever had a manicure or a pedicure in her life. Aside from her taco parts, she seems a lot like a MAN to me. And she has a screaming problem - in PUBLIC if you disagree with her about Skeletina. So, yeah, real life AJ loons are uber-feminine beauties...
Chelsea Handler's introduction was the funniest part:
"You have increased the visibility of women in film, and we thank you for that...You've recently decreased the visibility of John Mayer, so we thank you for that."
But what Jen said was pretty funny.
Carrie......where is Carrie if you need her.
She and me need to disguss Jen's awful mop hair.
Submitted by NaNoop on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:09pm.
I thought Jen was funny as the teacher in the South Park episode where the kids go to South America and put on a dance show? Anybody remember that one?
Cartman: {Steps off bus in South America} Oh, my God! It smells like ass out hyah!
Yes! Her best work to date. "That's it. I've had it. Fuck the Amazon! I hate it! Tear it down!"
That said, Team Aniston forever. At least she doesn't seem to have a stick up her ass.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:06pm.
but maybe she was referring only to John Mayer.
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That's what I actually assumed. Jen A attracts my attention only vicariously through Brangeloonies. They have me searching; searching for that "je ne sais quoi" that makes her SO detestable. That encourages ANY strong emotion whatsoever, in fact. John Mayer just drove that home - out of all the men in all the world that might have her, she chose him. SO bland. So very, very bland this woman.
But today, she is atrocious (and I want to give her "funny" but the joke is really so predictable. I feel like she spent the last 4 years setting it up)...and, well, there's not much else going on, achally.
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
where is sir sheeps?! his analysis is required
SHEEPS! where are ewwwweee? we MISS you!
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Submitted by xerquina on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:09pm.
Does WIF stand for What In Fucking(hell)? if not they those people should change it STAT.
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ITA. It stands for "Women in Film" and they are the Crystal Awards. I think MK made up the part about Lucy.
Women Doing Film?
Filmy Women?
It's totally stupid. They don't have a MEN IN FILM award (as far as I know)
*waves to Mizro - hai!!*
I nice eyes but smallish...and her nose/mouth combo looks weird. She has too much filler in the nasolabial folds (for real) and it makes her look waxy.
I think it's a good joke but honestly.. I wonder if her voice is why men leave. It's so shrill. Too much mid range!
mike & hysteria: these DR ads are ridic and annoying as all hell! "funbags" "super new" "flaunt it" etc... Grrrrr.
She's wearing the Anti Loon outfit.
And because I hate Skeletina and automatically must worship Jen, even if I post I am not loving her in these pics, somehow it will be translated as I am a fat lonely HEND, with dried up ovaries and I am an ocean screaming jealous hag.
At least her roles are semi-normal and don't involve killing people and what not.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
I thought Jen was funny as the teacher in the South Park episode where the kids go to South America and put on a dance show? Anybody remember that one?
Cartman: {Steps off bus in South America} Oh, my God! It smells like ass out hyah!
Does WIF stand for What In Fucking(hell)? if not they those people should change it STAT.
good job everyone for taking on the challenge. i'm just tired of Y hijacking Jen's posts.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Albatross on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 1:03pm.
Her hair is just plain awful. She really, really needs a new hairstyle.
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The Gosselin?
Remember how back in the day "The Rachel" ruled the world? I am proud to say that I never went there.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:56pm.
MizRo:
I do believe this post is about Jennifer Aniston?
But Brangelina always lurks in the background when it comes to her.
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Because there is no other reason to talk about her and therein lies the problem Any discussion of her segues into a debate about Jolie. Her fans dont do her any favors, but rather confirm the fact that there is nothing to say about this chick that doesnt lead back to a reference to Angie Jo and/or Brad Pitt. Shit, at least people hate Jolie on her own merits. Does anyone care about this ho for any other reason??
This bitch is so TIRED.
Submitted by mike on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:58pm.
Re: Denise Richards
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ita! E created this ad which is so revolting. they're TRYING to make her seem interesting. it's not working. just put a different celeb in there.
just about anyone else (except twit & twat)
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She's a very boring actress, and we saw all of her range on "Friends". Jolie is a better actress but neither of them make interesting movies. The longer it goes on the more I think this Angelina-Brad-Jen triangle is a massive publicity stunt and all three are taking it to the bank. Jen has probably gotten over Brad but would rather be one of the most famous actresses in the world than put the time into getting a partner. Angelina and Brad's relationship has surely gone stale but I doubt they'll break up. Neither of them are making memorable movies but they get press from their fighting.
Tom Cruise's problem is that he hasn't manufactured a tabloid story that can be constantly reinforced. Here's what Tom should do: have an affair with J-Lo, and break up her marriage to Skeletor. They should pump the tabloids full of stories about being soul mates, have a kid, and then Tom should go back to Katie. J-Lo can then burn through men as is her wont but always drop stories in the tabs about how she never loved anyone as much as Tom. Tom can stick with Katie but always insinuate via "insiders" that he wonders if he made the right decision. And there can be all the drama in the world about the complications of providing emotional support to all four kids. That'll resurrect J-Lo's career and bury all those scientology stories!
Submitted by Salem13 on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:56pm.
Submitted by xerquina on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:50pm.
I think your a wee bit late.
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and come to think of it...Jen herself started it this time with her comment about doing a film called "Everlasting Love with a Stable Adult Man" (but maybe she was referring only to John Mayer. Fucking DOUCHE!!! If I were her, I would be SO embarrassed that everyone in the free world knew I got porked by him.
just sayin'/
NaNoop: bogl. I love that game by the way, Boggle rocks. lol.
I heard a Buy One Get One ad for HOUSES! today. You buy one here and get one in Miami. Plus a free trip there. Uh huh. SooooooooooooR you do!
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
Her hair is just plain awful. She really, really needs a new hairstyle.
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"I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking." --Brian Kinney
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:53pm.
@Nanoop: For 75 grand you think they could have thrown in some hairspray or mousse or something...
It looks like her hair stylist just spit in his hands and straight up gave her a noogie
Submitted by MizRo on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:51pm.
TheBreakdown - haha!
And I have a serious question: WHY is Jolie brought into it whenever there is an Aniston post?
What is this BOGO? PFFFT.
What's the acronym for Buy One Get a Loon sound like?
Submitted by xerquina on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:50pm.
i dare anyone NOT to mention skankelina/branglina or whatever people call them
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well, jen brought it up herself. i guess references to skankelina get bigger laughs.
she has enough talent and personality to ditch that and pave her own way. i wish she would
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GORGEOUS! We should all look so good at 40+
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CUH-CAW!
For serious, Triston. It's as if they are conjoined in some people's minds.
Shake it OFF peeps, shake it OFF.
her joke was funny, though
It's gonna happen anyway! The loonies will come and call her hag and X and say she shouldn't be allowed to live, the pathetic creature. And, sadly, there she stands in all her pathetic glory, no less.... They'll say "At least Angie this" and "At least Angie that"...Angie makes REAL movies and has a REAL life...blah, blah, blah BLAH!...we're just beating them to the punch:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
and this woman spends HOW MUCH on her hair?
yeech.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
The Gosselin Hair Video is here! (A My2Cents/Sandbitch/TITS production)
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x9dzac_jon-kate...
Pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36561337@N05
At first I thought it said WTF on the podium.
Re: Denise Richards
I'm not hating on MK, because I know he needs to get money. But the promotions themselves are idiotic. First off, her life is only complicated because she makes it that way. That's the case with the vast majority of drama-ridden individuals, but oh well. And wild Thing? She's been married at least once, and has a couple kids. Doesn't sound too wild to me. Also, isn't Ryan Seacrest producing this shitfest? Ryan isn't about to advance anything that's too controversial or edgy. He's the Dick Clark of his generation, and that's no compliment.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:52pm.
the "WIF" on the podium could easily be a "WTF"
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i was thinking the exact same thing! in the age of the interweb, WIF needs a new name.
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Submitted by xerquina on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:50pm.
I think your a wee bit late.
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People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.- Daria
MizRo:
I was JUST about to type the same thing, but you beat me to it.
I do believe this post is about Jennifer Aniston?
But Brangelina always lurks in the background when it comes to her.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
xerquina: I'm soooo with you on that.
Um, she should be with John Stamos. How's that?
Submitted by xerquina on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 12:50pm.
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Piece of cake! I already did it twice! now thrice!
@Nanoop: For 75 grand you think they could have thrown in some hairspray or mousse or something...
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
the "WIF" on the podium could easily be a "WTF"
TheBreakdown - haha!
And I have a serious question: WHY is Jolie brought into it whenever there is an Aniston post?
What is this BOGO? PFFFT.
i dare anyone NOT to mention skankelina/branglina or whatever people call them , in this thread.the obsession with them is reeking.lets make it about poor old little jen.
she has a healthy tan. see, now you try.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/