Friday, June 12th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Betty White
Jimmy Fallon got to play beer ping bong with Betty White last night! Not Benefiber ping pong, BEER ping pong. This just proves that Betty White is seriously the hottest bitch in the game. If my own abuelita wouldn't beat me with her chankla and tie me to a tree, I'd say I wished Betty White was my memaw.
Jimmy ended up winning the game, but that's just because Betty took pity on his ass.
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Sadly, I am serious. I've never been one for organized education.
One of the most backhanded compliments I've ever gotten was when a man who worked for me said I'm very smart even though I am uneducated.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:18pm.
I really need to say how much I love jack's avie. That's like my favorite utube video ever.
"Is this real life?"
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mucho gratuitous....
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"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
Im out sluts! have a nice friday night...
I'm a slave that works every saturday, so I'll be here tomorrow.
Cyberhugs
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
LMAO @ online pregnancy test. Link please!
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri,
DD wins. Even I can't understand someone who can write one sentence that runs on for 14 pages.
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That's why you're a loyer. You're so, like, LOGICAL.
What is your favorite period in Literature, Stoney?
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:16pm.
Well, *I* got on academic probation my one and only quarter of community college. Put THAT in your juice box and suck it!
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Are you effin serious!! I took one semester right out of high school and basically didn't give a shit and got 1 D, 2 Fs and an incomplete... I went back about 8 years ago and they send me this letter out of the blue saying i am on academic probation. My wife was like holy fuck, they really don't like you do they...
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"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:17pm.
DD- Yep. It said I love everybody I work with and that it was unfortunate I'm a veterinarian.
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Did you read all the answer choices? F'g hilarious. There are some other tests there, too:
Online Pregnancy Test
Creative Ability Test
HeMale Or SheMale?
Manliness Test
The Coolness Test
Shape & Color Test
The Purity Test
That should keep you busy for awhile.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:17pm.
DD- Yep. It said I love everybody I work with and that it was unfortunate I'm a veterinarian.
**************
Doesn't matter.
As long as you're not a vegetarian.
That was daft. Ah well, it's Friday night......
Excuse me very much but I also have a degree in English, you sluts!
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I really need to say how much I love jack's avie. That's like my favorite utube video ever.
"Is this real life?"
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:15pm.
*silence*
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The Sound and the Fury? LOL (i understood that book, too. Absalom Absalom was awesome.) I also understood Joyce's Ulysses. That was a hella class. One entire class on James Joyce.
DD- Yep. It said I love everybody I work with and that it was unfortunate I'm a veterinarian.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:14pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:11pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:08pm.
Well *I* took four years of Latin including AP and went to Latin Convention every year in a toga and won awards in reading comprehension. Beat THAT, dorks!
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OK. I have a bachelor of arts degree in Classics. I can read and write in Ancient and Medieval Latin and Ancient Greek.
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I can read William Faulkner and UNDERSTAND it.
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DD wins. Even I can't understand someone who can write one sentence that runs on for 14 pages.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Careful, M.E.!
Just go to one, lol.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:13pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:11pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:08pm.
Well *I* took four years of Latin including AP and went to Latin Convention every year in a toga and won awards in reading comprehension. Beat THAT, dorks!
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OK. I have a bachelor of arts degree in Classics. I can read and write in Ancient and Medieval Latin and Ancient Greek.
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I can down a 6-pack in 30 seconds. Then burp the alphabet.
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Mother Superior loves you.
Well, *I* got on academic probation my one and only quarter of community college. Put THAT in your juice box and suck it!
Ok Momus, you win.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:13pm.
DD- You're lucky. My inkblot results said I'm a dog fcker.
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For reals?
Someone kill me now. I have my BH's god son's HS Graduation to attend after work tonight.
How many bars can I hit on my way home before we leave????
*silence*
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:11pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:08pm.
Well *I* took four years of Latin including AP and went to Latin Convention every year in a toga and won awards in reading comprehension. Beat THAT, dorks!
=========
OK. I have a bachelor of arts degree in Classics. I can read and write in Ancient and Medieval Latin and Ancient Greek.
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I can read William Faulkner and UNDERSTAND it.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:13pm.
I Sbarained Yumy Chewvula
HA! That sounds vulgar... i love it.
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"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
DD- You're lucky. My inkblot results said I'm a dog fucker.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:11pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:08pm.
Well *I* took four years of Latin including AP and went to Latin Convention every year in a toga and won awards in reading comprehension. Beat THAT, dorks!
=========
OK. I have a bachelor of arts degree in Classics. I can read and write in Ancient and Medieval Latin and Ancient Greek.
********************
I can down a 6-pack in 30 seconds. Then burp the alphabet.
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"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
I Sbarained Yumy Chewvula
OMG. I just took the Rorschach test. It's a joke!!
Here are my results:
Sickness Quotient: 71%
Your Sickness Quotient of 71% indicates therapy may be useful.
Detailed Diagnosis
Interpersonal Insights
You have trouble being friendly to others, especially people who hate your guts and want to hurt you. You complain about everything regardless of what it is. You wouldn't be happy even if you were hit by a new car.
Job Performance & Attitude
Your work is of such poor quality that your manager is considering replacing you with a machine that flushes. You have little empathy for anyone more successful at work than you, which is pretty much everyone.
Personality Insight
Your personal motto is "Be a traveller in Life, not a tourist." But you're the kind of person that can't even get a temporary visa.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:08pm.
Well *I* took four years of Latin including AP and went to Latin Convention every year in a toga and won awards in reading comprehension. Beat THAT, dorks!
=========
OK. I have a bachelor of arts degree in Classics. I can read and write in Ancient and Medieval Latin and Ancient Greek.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Ok that snacklish site is stoopid, lol!
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Well *I* took four years of Latin including AP and went to Latin Convention every year in a toga and won awards in reading comprehension. Beat THAT, dorks!
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
ISMU: check out http://www.snacklish.com/
Boob3rries suggested it earlier... my name would be pronounced "snack-n-thelicious-hatisfaction"
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"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:04pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:03pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:56pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:50pm.
Diu viga et viva, DD.
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Et cum spiritu tuo?
(i only know latin from Mass)
THEY SAID CUM IN MASS!!!!
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Which explains pedophilic priests.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:03pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:56pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:50pm.
Diu viga et viva, DD.
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Et cum spiritu tuo?
(i only know latin from Mass)
THEY SAID CUM IN MASS!!!!
stoney is right, they are hypocrites
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:56pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:50pm.
Diu viga et viva, DD.
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Et cum spiritu tuo?
(i only know Latin from Mass)
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:50pm.
I'm so bored.
And all I hear in my head is my mom saying "only stupid people without a thought in their heads get bored".
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you could go to:
LOLCATS.COM
FOUNDMAGAZINE.COM
DRUDGEREPORT
CNN
SUSAN MILLER (ASSTROLOGY)
AND you can take an online Rorschach test:
http://theinkblot.com/
boss came back early from vacay... had to do some major catch up. Sooooo whats up in here...
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"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:50pm.
Diu viga et viva, DD.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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and nevermind that they want to TORTURE and blow-up everyone in the unfree world.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:44pm.
I wanted to tell you something. I got my result in a Legal research exam I had, and I got an A-.
I keept thinking how in the world I got it (Besides the fact that I am a natural born Bulshitter and I put way more attention to my grammar than I do here)
True Story-
When I got it I thought; Momus will be so proud :P
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
I'm so bored.
And all I hear in my head is my mom saying "only stupid people without a thought in their heads get bored".
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:45pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:40pm.
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Nice catch, Momus. F'g idiots. Someone needs to inform them of their idiocy. GO FORTH AND PROSPER MOMUS!!
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:47pm.
Because the entire Christian Right are worthless judgemental hypocitical imbeciles, that's why.
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You forgot illiteral and poorly educated.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by melmez on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:33pm.
Thank you Mother Superior!!
By the way, your screen name brings me baaaaaad flash back of my years at a all girl catholic school. I shiver just remembering. But thanks for the reply.
***********
Very welcome, hon.
I use it to express my irony.
I am an atheist who is not even baptised. :)
Because the entire Christian Right are worthless judgemental hypocitical imbeciles, that's why.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:40pm.
Can someone explain to me why the so-called Christian Right keeps harping on the Hippocratic Oath when they want to prevent doctors from doing certain procedures such as abortions and assisted-suicide?
The Hippocratic Oath, required by the student of Hippocrates, an ancient pagan Romano-Greek physcian, starts with "I swear by Apollo, the healer, Asclepius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and I take to witness all the gods, all the goddesses, to keep according to my ability and my judgment, the following Oath and agreement".
No state requires the oath. Also, wouldn't requiring a doctor to abide by pagan oath be totally abhorrent to a Christian?
Just asking.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Yes M.E., I take the Liquid by Twinlab......I have found it helps with muscle tone/development.....it is also good for your heart!
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:22pm.
EH, you wouldn't know happiness if it facefucked your gaping maw.
Call me an Idiot.
I just realized that MK has a wiki thing.
It made me smile that he is recognized (even though he does not get half of the credit that he should get)
It made me smile. I hope he understands how Important he is in our everyday lives.
(I think I'm pmisng,I'm waaaay to sensitive today)
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
PSL - I'm taking the pill form. I'll give it a few more days. Thanks!
I thought I remembered you said that was one of the suppliments you took.
You like it right?
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:20pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:16pm.
i agree with you totally! my mom runs a chiropractors office and has pharm. reps. come in and offers her yankee tickets and shit to do a 'good job' and fill out the months quotas on drugs, mri's, or whatever.
That hippocratic oath is bullshit, just sayin.
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It should now read "hypocritical oath" lol
The DH works in the profession. The Pharma companies send in the reps with these HUGE BIG AZZ LUNCHES practically do sucky times to win favor. That sht should be totally illegal. This whole diagnosis thing isn't even driven by the doctors anymore, BIG PHARMA decides what the drug of the year is going to be. Look at how V!agra is now fking ppl up. And oh mah gawd, ever listen to all the disclaimers in tv pharma ads? "If you have high blood pressure, difficulty breathing, develop a blood clot, have blurry vision, sore joints, sit on the couch, talk on the phone, dress yourself...YOU SHOULD STOP TAKING THE MEDICATION AND SEE YOUR DOCTOR. BE crazy responsibly."
M.E., give it a while longer.....are you taking the liquid or a pill? Liquid is easier to break down in your system.......
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:22pm.
EH, you wouldn't know happiness if it facefucked your gaping maw.
I've barely visted dlisted today, because of this skank skell whore Denise is all over here?
I know you are earning some ducats from it MK, but seriously, I am gonna lose my lunch.