Friday, June 12th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Betty White
Jimmy Fallon got to play beer ping bong with Betty White last night! Not Benefiber ping pong, BEER ping pong. This just proves that Betty White is seriously the hottest bitch in the game. If my own abuelita wouldn't beat me with her chankla and tie me to a tree, I'd say I wished Betty White was my memaw.
Jimmy ended up winning the game, but that's just because Betty took pity on his ass.
ShareThis
I met my perfect one on ----BlackWhiteMeet, C O M---- It is a wonderful dating site for black and white singles to have fun together! And it's free! Hope it can help you find your ideal match!
haha...I love her
-----
Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
Congratulations to all the new mothers on DListed.
Please stop fussing at MK for the advertisements. He gives far more than he receives. Only an intelligent, witty person with an enormous work ethic could create and run this incredibly funny site, and make it look easy!
nevermind.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:11pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:08pm.
Well *I* took four years of Latin including AP and went to Latin Convention every year in a toga and won awards in reading comprehension. Beat THAT, dorks!
=========
OK. I have a bachelor of arts degree in Classics. I can read and write in Ancient and Medieval Latin and Ancient Greek.
*********
I can read Archie comics in French. Tee hee
********
Freelove
Submitted by The C word on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 11:08pm.
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:07pm.
-------------------
Congrats to Syd and the boys! I know joe shmoe will be happy.
*********
Girl you're right. I'm lighting candles at my Syd the Kid shrine as we speak.
********
Freelove
what is her secret? seriously.
I whole heartedly agree with z-listed. Her eyes are following me no matter where I'm looking.
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:07pm.
-------------------
Congrats to Syd and the boys! I know joe shmoe will be happy.
------------------------------------------
It seems that different people have an idea of what I am, and what I should be. And then there's me.
HEY MICHAEL K!!! Get rid of the ads for the slut-queen of E! Television. The pictures of Miss Consti[ated are too much to deal with!
Deb on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:07pm
ITA Deb. It was an excellent game tonight. My Red Wings fought a great fight. Congrats. Penguins!
Congrats to the Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins and all their fans! What an amazing series! The Wings can hold their heads high in defeat.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Anonymoussss on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 6:44pm.
Salon fight caught on tape:
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/state&id=6860580
================================================
Oakland! I KNEW it! those Bay bitches sure don't play. Damn that weave came right off.
CUH-CAW!
ewwwwwww...i'm such a fag ball... i'm cryin' like a little beesh... Ghost Whisperer ... feck you Owen...dammit feck you
got it goin on now...son has been schooled on the bullying shite...my heart rate is a little less on the attack side now
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=1269412459
Ok, first of all, I loves me some Betty White. She could tell me St Olaf stories for the rest of time and I'd never get tired.
Second, why do I always miss the Brangelina fuckers? I am always going on about how much I love Jennifer Aniston. I love her. It's been less than 24 hours since I had a cock in my mouth and I'd still go completely breeder for her. I wouldn't fuck Angelina Jolie if there was a damn gun to my head, but Jennifer? Put me in a room and watch me beg. That damn GQ cover from a few months ago? Perfection.
Then shots like these?
http://www.jenaniston.net/gallery/albums/pictures/magazines/m-z/vogue-de...
http://www.jenaniston.net/gallery/albums/pictures/magazines/a-l/gq-janua...
http://www.jenaniston.net/gallery/albums/pictures/magazines/a-l/elle-uk-...
The girl is phenomenal. I can't understand why anyone finds Angelina Jolie and her Couture Cryptkeeper look so hot.
Salon fight caught on tape:
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/state&id=6860580
u beeshes have a great nite and weekend ... it's time for momma bear to go deal with her cub's shite.
gosh fecking dammit...i'm so pissed right now...my 10 year old son is being bullied in school!!! i hate shitty ass shit like this. i also know that i have to turn down the volume, so to speak...and get a grip or else i'm gonna be tryin to use my one phone call to respond to dlisted!@W##$!#$!#%$%%$
Betty white is cool. Any 80 year old who would play beer pong is hilarious.
AND, why the fuck is that slutty whore denise richards all over dlisted? With catchy slogans like "flaunt my funbags" and "the wild thing is back", she's basically pulled down her panties to show off her twat, in order to make people watch her pathetic scripted "reality" TV show. I guess she finally admitted to herself that she'll never get another part in Hollywood (tv or movies), so she needs to spread her legs on a "reality" show to get the attention she drastically craves. Laughable AND pathetic; time to go away, you whore. Go live on Charlie Sheen's $56K/month he's paying you, but do it in another country...
----------------------------------------
"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
I've been asleep today since I worked last night so I may have missed the bitching about this already.
Sorry to join the party late but...
Why the hell is Denise Richards staring at me all over Dlisted??????
i'm going blind!all i can see are Denise's faceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssYIKES!!!LOL
i wanna go home.
at 7:30
****~v~****
"Why would I love a couch?" | "Happy Wife, Happy Life"- Joe
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:40pm.
me too- last day of work! New career starts Monday!
byeeeeeeeee!!!!
************
Good luck!
Wear your lucky underoos and everything will be alright!!!!!!!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:40pm.
me too- last day of work! New career starts Monday!
byeeeeeeeee!!!!
=============
Congratulations on the new career.
Doing what?
************************************************
"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
************************************************
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:10pm.
Ok that snacklish site is stoopid, lol!
I know but since husband can't open it from work he told me to check it out ..and I am bored even though I have way too many thoughts in my head. Gets pretty fucking boring when all you do all day is think so I guess it is my fault =(
He heard about that site on Ron & Fez. Only reason I credit that show it's because I prefer he listens to that before he listens to retards Opie & Anthony (although one of them I like, can't remember which one)
**************************************************
"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:39pm
Go Flaunt Your Funbags Slut!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
ISMU: Have a ball... (pun intended!)
********************************
"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:35pm.
I'm with ya on that... some of them do. The other ones that i think don't deserve it are the ones that are my real friends BUT they chose to be a pussy and work 3 fucking jobs while their wives get manicures and shit and don't have the balls to stand up to them and say HEY HONEY... how bout we cut mani/pedicures and massages down to once a month! duh
********************************
"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:39pm.
I'm out. I have to go feed Thing 3 and then hot myself up for date night.
Have a good weekend, lovelies!
========
Did you decide to go out in the sundress and heels?
************************************************
"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
************************************************
me too- last day of work! New career starts Monday!
byeeeeeeeee!!!!
*********************************************
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:22pm.
EH, you wouldn't know happiness if it facefucked your gaping maw.
I'm out. I have to go feed Thing 3 and then hot myself up for date night.
Have a good weekend, lovelies!
@Stoney
Yes, they are quite the expensive poster. I dotted the 'i's with cigarette holes on mine. Something about making more money putting up sheetrock then anything I could get with it just didnt sit right with me
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:30pm.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:24pm.
****************************
I'd like to point out the obvious here... HE worked for YOU... hello. I am "uneducated" but have been very successful. IN THIS ECONOMY I still have a job and have friends with fcking masters degrees that are digging fcking ditches to support their btch, soul draining, self absorb, over-spending ball and chain fucktard-so-called-signifiCNT other...
------------------
That's a BEAUTIFUL story. TELL US MORE!!
I can't tell you how miserable the people I work with are.
The people without high school degrees just wish they had a B.A. The ones with the B.A.'s only whine about the master's people. The master's people HATE the PH.D.s The PH.D.s HATE EACH OTHER. Bunch of blood sucking freaks in this place. THe last place you'd expect it (unless you work in this environment - college). And EVERYONE laughs at the governor who's doing her job with ONLY an associates degree.
jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:30pm.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:24pm.
Sadly, I am serious. I've never been one for organized education.
One of the most backhanded compliments I've ever gotten was when a man who worked for me said I'm very smart even though I am uneducated.
****************************
I'd like to point out the obvious here... HE worked for YOU... hello. I am "uneducated" but have been very successful. IN THIS ECONOMY I still have a job and have friends with fucking masters degrees that are digging fucking ditches to support their bitch, soul draining, self absorb, over-spending ball and chain fucktard-so-called-signifiCUNT other...
- I know some of those people jack, the Uppity McUppertons and their judgmental selves kinda get what they deserve...
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:31pm.
I am laughing at how jack and I both quoted ISMU in our siggies!
****************
She was on a roll today
********************************
"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
Well it took me an extra two years, so don't feel bad. I graduated with about 4000 credits and get ass raped every month on my student loans, but hey, it looks pretty hanging in my office...
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
PSL - I'm kind of all honored and shit. Which either makes me humble or really and truly sad.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:29pm.
Actually, it means we can finish something, provy.
=P
I finished that college thing too. So what if it took me an extra semester, I was having fun!!!
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
I am laughing at how jack and I both quoted ISMU in our siggies!
*********************************************
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:22pm.
EH, you wouldn't know happiness if it facefucked your gaping maw.
This was the same man who worked retail and actually would tell customers "and I'm the guy who has the big Master's degree" and point to himself with his thumb on the "I'm".
I took it with a grain of salt but it's still a good story to tell.
I may not have a formal education, but I'm not a dumbfuck.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:24pm.
Sadly, I am serious. I've never been one for organized education.
One of the most backhanded compliments I've ever gotten was when a man who worked for me said I'm very smart even though I am uneducated.
****************************
I'd like to point out the obvious here... HE worked for YOU... hello. I am "uneducated" but have been very successful. IN THIS ECONOMY I still have a job and have friends with fucking masters degrees that are digging fucking ditches to support their bitch, soul draining, self absorb, over-spending ball and chain fucktard-so-called-signifiCUNT other...
********************************
"EH, I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and suck it, but I fear being unoriginal.
*SALUTES*"--------ISprainedMyUvula 06/12/09
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:21pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri,
DD wins. Even I can't understand someone who can write one sentence that runs on for 14 pages.
-----------------------
That's why you're a loyer. You're so, like, LOGICAL.
========
'Tis true. I have very linear thinking.
************************************************
"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
************************************************
Actually, it means we can finish something, provy.
=P
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:24pm.
Sadly, I am serious. I've never been one for organized education.
One of the most backhanded compliments I've ever gotten was when a man who worked for me said I'm very smart even though I am uneducated.
------------------------
You know, ISMU, my HUGEST wish right now is to get into graduate school full-time...but I will say that the K-12 program is all about PROGRAMMING people to get up and be somewhere by 8am. Do something semi-productive until 5pm and get you completely accustomed to competition and being evaluated. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY of your life. Then you make money so that you can spend it and make other people rich.
Wow. Who put the bitter in my water?
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:25pm.
HA!!
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:25pm.
I took an 18th Century Restoration class that I quite enjoyed. Everyone thinks it's heavy stuff, but you know I love the satire! *wink*
***********
I can imagine that was awsome!!!
They did very good stuff in the late Baroque/ early Classic times....
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:24pm.
Sadly, I am serious. I've never been one for organized education.
One of the most backhanded compliments I've ever gotten was when a man who worked for me said I'm very smart even though I am uneducated.
Oh please. Ive learned more through ordering books on amazon.com they i did in college. for 75% of the people that got degrees, it just means their checks to the university didnt bounce
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:19pm.
Excuse me very much but I also have a degree in English, you sluts!
==========
That explains the correct use of the comma and the exclamation point.
************************************************
"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
************************************************
I took an 18th Century Restoration class that I quite enjoyed. Everyone thinks it's heavy stuff, but you know I love the satire! *wink*
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 4:18pm.
I really need to say how much I love jack's avie. That's like my favorite utube video ever.
-----------------
I know! That's the one where the kid says "Is it gonna be like this forever?"
something like that. when i first saw it I screamed, "ANIMAL CRUELTY!!" no wait, "CHILD CRUELTY!"