Friday, June 12th 2009
Jesus Made Her Do It
Devout Christian and missionary for famewhores, Horsey Montag, will bare her douche-filled titty balls and silicone oven mitt chocha in Playboy. Horsey's spread will be in the September issue (aka The Whores 4 God issue). A source (*cough*Heidi's vagina*cough*) told People, "There is nudity. It's tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it."
Let me guess, God looked down upon her, opened his arms and said, "Bare those titties for your faith! As your savior, I command you!" Because in case you forgot, Heidi is the lord's servant. That's why she was put on this earth.
But seriously, Spencer Twatt should be the one in Playboy. His snatch is bigger than hers.
Image: Pacific Coast News
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OMG, she looks so hot. It seems that girl is dating online now. I saw her profile on dating site " www .sugarscupid.com" last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
I met my perfect one on ----BlackWhiteMeet, C O M---- It is a wonderful dating site for black and white singles to have fun together! And it's free! Hope it can help you find your ideal match!
how is it even possible to get out of a pool with your hair and make-up totally done!? she is a fuckin retard. hopefully, these 2 will die in jungles of costa rica very soon.
Dear God,
I know I do not ask for much, but could you please end this wannabe's fifteen minutes? I promise I will be good.
Sorry for multiple posts in a row, but I just gave her ass a second glance.
She's sticking it out. When I do the same pose with my ass sticking out like that, my ass looks good too.
Posing and angling, m'dears.
Submitted by Bliss2279 on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 3:00pm.
I agree with the last bit of your post.
I refuse to be anyone's sloppy fucking seconds whether you "can't have it or not". I want to be with a man who finds me the most beautiful and sexy woman he's ever seen, and I won't settle for any less.
It has a nice ass, and yet, I still don't really feel all that envious about it.
Might be her oddly shaped head, but I'm not jealous...and believe me that's an improvement because I'm jealous of ANYTHING with an ass.
That's a delicious looking ass. I forgive her for or else. Please tell me it's shaved clean and sans genital warts. I don't want to have to eat it thru a Saran wrap.
She has a very generic face. I mean, she's not ugly, but I don't see the appeal aside from the "omg, she got implants and wears a bathing suit all the time."
These two super twats again...grrr. Listen, I don't like either of them, nobody does, but that super twat Spencer gives me some major creeps. He is evil...I swear he is. He is ugly and evil, she is just plain stupid, but his ass is pure evil. I really, really hate evil people...and his karma is gonna get that turd for sure!
Maybe she poses in those horrible, ugly, eighties, wrestler-chick, dyke-ish string bikini's because she's selling these pics to the papparazzi? And therefor she is not allowed to promote other designer brands while making a profit without permission from the designer themselves? I absolutely hate her choice in swimwear and I know on The Hills her fashion style is pretty much of a higher standard.
I love Heidi and Spencer. I must say that on that show, even though it's "live" they are still playing a role. A role that has been discussed by the producers. I'm sure "religious fanatic" was one of them. Heidi is not relgious, not in that particular way. And I seriously doubt Spencer is either.
I can understand why she resorted to plastic surgery but her boobs do look awful. And like someone above said, her body looks like a generic barbie knockoff. Really, Barbie's body is hotter. But I do feel she's doing this all for Spencer. And she's afraid he's gonna cheat on her. So she's trying to keep him in place. By promoting her sexuality Spencer will become more intimidated by her.
Guys and porn. They are so delusional. Why would you worship something you can't have. Especially if you already have something at home. Most likely the relationship they're in isn't up to their realistic or unrealistic standards. To me that is almost like cheating though. If you're gonna look at porn, then you must have a strong desire for it. And if you desire it, then don't let me stop you. Of course that's when an open relationship begins and where is the love in that? It doesn't really work. And it is safer to just look at porn vs real life but if both parties do not agree on that particular fact than you're just asking for trouble. Why would you want to be compared to so and so, this chick online. Also your partner might just lose interest for devoting so much time into porn. Not a great way to maintain or fix a relationship. And there had to have been some sorta conflict for that person to go behind one's back in the first place.
Jesus this twat and parasite are two of the most annoying farts ever. I wish they would take that little pansy spencer and get lost in the woods somewhere forever.
Heidi said she always wanted to be a missionary and hold those poor orphans!
No comment from me.
Submitted by Little Mickey on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 11:21am.
Heidi and Spencer are great advertisements for the christian religion. Who wouldn't want to be a Christian watching those two? God bless us all
Moments like this make me happy I'm a (non-practicing) Jew.
Submitted by Dominique Devereaux on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:46am.
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NEITHER gender is wired for monogamy....but this is especially true of men.A coupla' guys I grew up with are excellent "family men"...but they fuck around.A significant number of the women I've sexed since the age of 35 were MARRIED.Maturity & DESIRE have NEVER met in the same room.It might interest you to know that the porn industry is overrun with companies owned by WOMEN.
I really hate the fact that I am aware this bitch exists.
i think patty seems like areally nice person but i agree, her involvment seems sketchy to me. like she has an alterior motive. like trying to make her husband look good before his court date. i dunno. she cries too much for my liking
What a gutter living attention whore. Like most scumbags seeking respectability, she's wrapped herself in the "I'm a Born Again Christian" flag, to make people think she's devout. HARDLY. She's simply another attention whore, just sluttier than most...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Heidi and Spencer are great advertisements for the christian religion. Who wouldn't want to be a Christian watching those two? God bless us all
Missy: how can you not love him? LOL oh well, good, all the more mohawk for meeeee! LOL
I knew those Frangelas couldn't last long.
What do you guys think about Patty? I feel sorry for her but come on, she's using this show as a political platform or something.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
May every Jack has his Jill. Still Don't have a date?
There is a hot place ---BlackWhiteconnect---Best interracial dating site in the world! It's where diversely ethnic singles meet new friends, make great dates, and build lasting interracial relationships.
yeah totally lovest hat hes up for a good challenge.
the fat comedians were boring to me. cried cause her breast (typo but it stays) left so she had to leave too. jsut as bad as heidi and spencer ifyou ask me
She's ugly, but she's got a killer ass
really guys? I cant stand sanjaya. hes so fucking BORING. he just twinks around in the background and says somehting nice here and there. BOOO-RING!
I liked those fat comedian chicks. I wish they were still on.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:32am
yeah im totally team sanjaya..
i do love stephen baldwin though. i loves how all the reality shows have him on speed dial.
So like, when like are her Miss Ex-California gonna become bff's?
They're both so wholesome and Christian and blond.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:45am.
I don't know. She has a nice butt. I thought it may be fake since she's a fan of plastic surgery.
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Pull My Finger
Submitted by kanderso
I have a theory about men and porn. My theory is this:
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Submitted by DR.FUNK
Nah...that's not it.
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I second DR.FUNK's opinion. You're way off.
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
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Submitted by DESIGNER GENES on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:37am.
HA. I can't help but think of this:
http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Flirty_Fishing
Heidi Montag's Twatter is seriously the funniest thing ever. Bitch LOVES her some Jesus. Get a fucking grip.
**
holy shit that is awesome
FLIRTY FISHING!
holy hookers
LITERALLY
hehehe
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:24am.
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I agree with this. I have a dear friend who advised me quite young "never try to settle down with a guy who hasn't gotten had and over his wild days, because it's coming and you don't want it to happen while you are his girlfriend/wife". it's true. it's always the conservative acting ones with little experience who end up to be the biggest whores. because it's a novelty to them. making up for their lost teens or whatever so they as people who are older and are supposed to be responsible and over that shit turn into freaks or porn addicts etc. so cliche and boring. they are repressed and sneaky.
the guy who's done it all and left it behind him is more interested in the real thing and a relationship. he's gotten over that crap and associates it with immaturity and his young days.not likely to be acting like he's 15 because he's already done 15 when he was 15.
why do you think she has butt implants? she is bending over and sticking her butt out..
*********************************************
I don't want to stop just because , people walking by or watching us
I don't give a damn what they think, I want you now
- Janet Jackson "Any Time, Any Place"
Does she have butt implants?
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Pull My Finger
HA. I can't help but think of this:
http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Flirty_Fishing
Heidi Montag's Twatter is seriously the funniest thing ever. Bitch LOVES her some Jesus. Get a fucking grip.
Christians meeting expectations. The expectations being hypocrisy of course. Spencer is a snatch.
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You are who you think you are.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:23am.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:21am.
I dont think Heidi is bad, I just think shes the type of girl who loses herself when she becomes involved with a man. One of those girls who turns into a completely different person when they think someone likes them
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
EH, yeah , she's just like you, that's why you like her. hahahahaha
:P
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I dont change...no matter who im with, ill always be me.
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*I really want to give myself a paper cut right about now*
*Never buy anything from someone whos out of breath*
hey Slutts! I agree.........I DETEST these 2 losers.
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I don't want to stop just because , people walking by or watching us
I don't give a damn what they think, I want you now
- Janet Jackson "Any Time, Any Place"
Submitted by mike on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:27am.
that works too! so many expletives to try out here on dlisted
;D
.
.
greenfinch seriously, the bugs etc are awful, when I watch Survivor I always think "I could do that" but on this show not so much, to my surprise.
Sanjaya is my new hero and I think this show is making America (or whoevers actually watching) fall in love with him.
I asked angel-i to make me a Gosslin/Sanjaya avie ! LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Please, even God is sick of these two.
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If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:24am.
I have a theory about men and porn. My theory is this:
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Nah...that's not it.
Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:16am
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Sad as it may seem, it pays to be hated.
I have to disagree, I know plenty of people that Hates me, I'm fucking broke
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
you know that was the best line of the show. lol
janice isa douche for yelling that shitheads name on national tv. i could him on much music last night on some lame show. i wasnt watching i was in the other room the channel just hadnt been changed.
she does bring drama to the show but not much else cause she doesnt do much. and where i dont understand how sanjaya is a popstar as the credits say. i really like him. hes up for anytihng and he wins everything and he just seems to be the sweetest thing around...although i'd have pegged him playing for the other team but him and holly are so cute...
oh and ewwwwwww with all the bug bites on those guys
Submitted by Hysteria on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:22am.
typical evangelical cumbag
Word, though I'd say scumbag.
don't know how long i'll be able to stand looking at denise fucktard
my skin is starting to peel from bitch freeze
.
.
Still not sure how she generates income.Your whole life you are told that there are specific things you must do to "make it": good education...hard/smart work...creativity.Then people like Heidi...and Shitney...and Hohan...and Kim K come along to crush that theory.That being said-most straight men would bang Heidi into next week should the opportunity present itself.
I have a theory about men and porn. My theory is this:
The amount of ass men get in their formative years is directly correlated with their level of interest in porn. The more ass a man gets, the less interested he is in porn.
I'm currently dating a guy who was a total manwhore in his teens and 20s, met me when he turned 30, and has completely settled down, and seems to have no interest in other women or porn (and I am totally okay with porn, actually, and he knows this. he doesn't even have an interest in watching it together...)
On the other hand, I dated a very conservative guy in college who was a virgin at age 21, and he was all perverted and always looking at girls and wanting me to do kinky stuff (not sex though) and had an extensive porn collection, which I'm sure he beat off furiously to every chance he got.
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
Submitted by Event Horizon on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:21am.
I dont think Heidi is bad, I just think shes the type of girl who loses herself when she becomes involved with a man. One of those girls who turns into a completely different person when they think someone likes them
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
EH, yeah , she's just like you, that's why you like her. hahahahaha
:P
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
typical evangelical cumbag
.
.
"Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 10:16am.
I have a legitimate question. I don't know a single person that is actually a Heidi or Spencer fan. How do they keep making money? Are they really profiting this much off of the nation's collective hatred of them? DOES NOT COMPUTE."
Heidi was making something like $30,000-$40,000 an episode for The Hills, and that was before Lauren Conrad left and Heidi became the "star," so I'm sure she's making more now. Spencer of course also makes money from the show. That, plus appearance fees, whatever she got for recording her shitty "music," money earned from appearing on "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here," selling wedding pictures, etc. They do anything to get money. They may seem really rich to me but they ain't pullin' down Angelina Jolie-type money, so it's not really that unrealistic for Hollywood standards. And uh, I'm guessing that Dlisted viewers are not the most unbiased group when polling for Speidi fans. Plenty of people watch that piece of shit show.
That pic makes Raul think of all the unholy things he would like to do to that ass!!!