Bret Michaels Is No Liza Or Dolly
Tuck your pussies in and grab your Valtrex, because we are all getting on the Rock of Love WAAAAAHMBULANCE.
Right after the hottest piece of scenery in the industry knocked Bret Michaels on his nasty ass at the Tony Awards, he sort of shrugged it off and said it really wasn't a big deal. Now that he's realized he can milk the shit out of this situation for attention, he's crying a different story. Bret posted these pictures of his busted face on his MySpace along with a total STFU statement.
While we are clapping for whoever was responsible for bringing that set piece down on Bret, he's blaming them. Bret said that he was never "informed that the descending set piece existed, let alone would be moving into position as he was exiting the stage." Bret was also pissed that a rep for the Tony Awards said Bret had missed his mark and that's why he got laid out by a super hot piece of scenery (Is it obvious that I'm love with a set piece?). Bret moaned that the Tony people would have cared more if this happened to Dolly Parton, Liza or Elton John.
I think Bret's weave-danna is on too tight. Liza and Dolly are LEGENDS! If a set piece fell on them, the world would stop and we'd all hold our breaths until we were told there wasn't a scratch on them. Which there wouldn't be, because they are both coated with some kind of scratch-proof substance.
Bret added that he doesn't know how bad his injuries are until his x-rays come back. He must have gone to some back alley free clinic where it takes weeks for x-rays to be processed. Their idea of an x-ray is shining a really bright flash night on his injuries while some crackhead draws a picture of it with a Sharpie. Stupid ass.
Bret is such a wittle baby. The whores on Rock of Love who attempt to eat his asshole probably suffer worse injuries than that. Put a bag over your head and stop whining.
I love how even though he's busted up he's still giving us a "Sexy Can I?" face.
VIA TMZ
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"Every nose gets pricked by a thorn."
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i think it would have been xtra funny if the set ripped off his weave.
haha.
He should thank his lucky stars it didn't rip his bandanna-cowboy hat-wig weave thing off, and leave him standing there looking like Leif Garrett.
He looks kinda hot in the picture where his mouth is closed.
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Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you're getting double-penetrated. -Michael K
Ever since his accident and the reconstruction of his face, he's looked "off".
EvilShoe LMAO first of all they are all like 60 years old. I tried to post a comment "AHAHAHAHAHAHHA I thought it was hysterical, douchebag!" but you have to be his friend to comment. So I sent him a friend request, this should be fun!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
we all wish this would have happened differently -
like him walking into our fists....
I am a total Poison fan and I love "Every Rose Has it's Thorn" song.
*tucks in FUPA*
*hides*
his insistence on doing the "prune" for all his pictures makes me want to punch him in the throat.
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I haven't read the books or anything but is the female lead a robot? Is that what this shit is about? A vampire's love for a robot? If that's the case, then it all makes sense. - Master Blaster reviews Twilight
BOGUS. He got those herpes sores from making out with all those ROLB skanks.
Paris I can handle. This STD infected twat has to go.
I smell lawsuit.
Submitted by Zanna on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:45am.
He's been missing his mark for YEARS.
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I seriously almost choked on my lunch cracking up at that line.
Bret is supposed to come to where I live next month for a motorcycle show and the promotors are raffling off a chance to go on a motorcycle ride w/him. I wouldn't get within a foot of that coodie without wearing a full body prophylactic. Ewwww. He's such a big baby if he's whining about that little scratch. Boo hoo.
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www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
douche.
that damn "every rose has it's thorn" song makes me want to gouge my own eyeballs out.
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Ooh sugar don't you hurry
You've got me here all night
Just close your eyes and hold on tight
Ooh baby don't stop, don't stop
Go deeper baby deeper
You feel so good I'm gonna cry
- Janet Jackson
Pffft. Suck it up, baby-pants.
Hey Bret Michaels. I have a rigid external distraction device on my head right now, so suck my balls, whinetard!
You Dlisted homeies can Google that shit. I'll explain why I have it on later. Time for medication.
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Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Submitted by freebird on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:38am.
He wasn't looking up, he was only looking inward to his heart that he may share the majesty of Poison with the world.
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That is true. He was probably still feeling the transcendent nirvana-like state that is, "Nothin' But a Good Time." You don't come back from that easily. Or at least not with out a shot of penicillin.
I don't watch Rock Of Love, I don't really care what happened to him but GOTTDAMN I LUVS ME SOME POISON!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
He's been missing his mark for YEARS. AND..he's fucking lucky they even LET him be on theat stage and that thing came down on him, otherwise he'd be getting zero publicity.
Submitted by Nicole on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:41am.
I thought that the picture on the right was Fergie at first. No lie.
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Haha...I can totally see it!
One constant truth is that men who go on and on about how macho they are, like rock stars, are inevitably whiny little girls on the inside.
I thought that the picture on the right was Fergie at first. No lie.
I love all the suck up posts from *fans* on that page MK linked to. You know more than half of them pissed themselves laughing when they saw it.
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"Ladies and gentlemen, the typical Twilight fan.
Fat, awkward and waiting for a fictional prince to forklift them off their feet."
Submitted by Master Blaster on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:23am.
Bret Michaels and Jeremy Piven need to have a Douche Off. I would totally watch that. The winner gets a bullet in the head. The loser is slowly tortured to death.
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Piven's plugs already beat the shit out of Michael's weave in a mercury (coke) fueled rage. Hence the bandana.
How can he be for real? WTF is wrong with him? Maybe he did his little insulin "I'm a real sex beast" trick before the show & it fucked with his center of gravity, so he was more out of it than usual.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:29am.
Even if he wasn't "informed" how do you not notice a giant piece of scenery coming down 6 inches in front of your face????
Dumbass.
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Did you see the cowboy hat he was wearing? I think it was the kind with built in hair, but anyhocould'vedoneitbetterinheels, that thing was so tight on his head if it tried to escape his skin would have ripped off. He wasn't looking up, he was only looking inward to his heart that he may share the majesty of Poison with the world.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:25am.
Having those two on the stage together was like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.
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haha! when will the marshmallow creme start falling?
.
.
skeezy.
is that a wound on his chin or a beard? wait. yech, i don't care
.
.
Like he's not used to having sores in his mouth. I'd be nervous to even pass that guy on the sidewalk for fear of catching something.
he is an idiot.
can someone remind why he was part of the tony awards? so damn annoying.
i loved that he got smacked in the face--and btw: YES we would have cared more if it was Liza or Dolly...BECAUSE THEY ARE ICONS AND COMPLETELY RELEVANT.
Bret Michaels - Tony Awards? Really?
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Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory.
Even if he wasn't "informed" how do you not notice a giant piece of scenery coming down 6 inches in front of your face????
Dumbass.
Hahaha! I didn't watch the video when MK posted it and now that I have, I can't stop laughing. It's the way he's doing a happy hopscotch back stage or whatever and bam! a big-ass billboard knocks his ass down. It's like a real-life Loonie Toons cartoon.
It must have hurt badly, I know. But his injuries don't look as bad as they should. Dumbass should've hopscotch faster into the billboard thingy, that way he could've fracture something... that way he could really make a fuss about it, with lawsuits and money and all.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
So he's going to milk his little boo boo to get blowjobs off of shiny, drug-addicted whores with positive herpes tests? Keep striving for excellence Brett.
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I am not a pussy.
I am so effin' tired of this trick. 15 minutes OVAH!
Dumbass! Put the 420 down....
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://www.rantsthoughtsmerde.com/2009/06/parasite-hiltons-new-booty-cal...
Bret said that he was never "informed that the descending set piece existed, let alone would be moving into position as he was exiting the stage."
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Funny how the rest of the band hobbled up the stage in time.
He's totally giving us the Constantin Maroulis stare in the 2nd picture. Having those two on the stage together was like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.
Bret: that's not a Tony injury, your Wesson Oil is leaking out.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
He MySpaced? Hasn't he heard that Twittering is the in thing to do?
Oh and Christina and Eminem are not fueding, they kissed and made up waaaaaay back in '03.
'I don't believe in the words Fashion Faux Pas.'~Xtina
http://www.last.fm/user/SpiritDreaming
I don't blame him for being pissed if they didn't inform him of the descending prop. He probably shrugged it off it the beginning because he was embarrassed & the high from the pot hadn't worn off yet. _______________________________________________
If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
"Bret moaned that the Tony people would have cared more if this happened to Dolly Parton, Liza or Elton John."
Um, duh?
Somebody needs sum french cries
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Bret Michaels and Jeremy Piven need to have a Douche Off. I would totally watch that. The winner gets a bullet in the head. The loser is slowly tortured to death.
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
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If there's something more sad than Eminem feuding with Britney and Christina, it's Brett crying about battle scars from The Tonys. In the words of Dom DeLouise: C'mon you Sissy Marys!
Oh, please. He's lucky nobody's tried to pyrotechnic his ass into the next life to date.
I haven't really been following this story, but why the F was he even AT the Tony Awards in the first place? He's not been in a play, has he? It makes no sense....
It done sawed his hair off!