Bret Michaels Is No Liza Or Dolly
Tuck your pussies in and grab your Valtrex, because we are all getting on the Rock of Love WAAAAAHMBULANCE.
Right after the hottest piece of scenery in the industry knocked Bret Michaels on his nasty ass at the Tony Awards, he sort of shrugged it off and said it really wasn't a big deal. Now that he's realized he can milk the shit out of this situation for attention, he's crying a different story. Bret posted these pictures of his busted face on his MySpace along with a total STFU statement.
While we are clapping for whoever was responsible for bringing that set piece down on Bret, he's blaming them. Bret said that he was never "informed that the descending set piece existed, let alone would be moving into position as he was exiting the stage." Bret was also pissed that a rep for the Tony Awards said Bret had missed his mark and that's why he got laid out by a super hot piece of scenery (Is it obvious that I'm love with a set piece?). Bret moaned that the Tony people would have cared more if this happened to Dolly Parton, Liza or Elton John.
I think Bret's weave-danna is on too tight. Liza and Dolly are LEGENDS! If a set piece fell on them, the world would stop and we'd all hold our breaths until we were told there wasn't a scratch on them. Which there wouldn't be, because they are both coated with some kind of scratch-proof substance.
Bret added that he doesn't know how bad his injuries are until his x-rays come back. He must have gone to some back alley free clinic where it takes weeks for x-rays to be processed. Their idea of an x-ray is shining a really bright flash night on his injuries while some crackhead draws a picture of it with a Sharpie. Stupid ass.
Bret is such a wittle baby. The whores on Rock of Love who attempt to eat his asshole probably suffer worse injuries than that. Put a bag over your head and stop whining.
I love how even though he's busted up he's still giving us a "Sexy Can I?" face.
VIA TMZ
Sexy Can I look!!!!!!! LOLLLLLLLLL> this made my morning!
**************************************************
Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
Now he looks IDENTICAL to Fergie. Holy shit!
TBH, all these hair metal guys are fucking bitches. Between Nikki Sixx throwing a fit over getting hit with a fucking plastic water bottle and Bret Michaels getting his nuts in a bunch after his dumbass walked into the stage prop over a little bit of bruising, these dumbshits really believe they still have something to lose when they fuck up their rapidly aging faces.
All that time they spend on doing their hair and makeup is wasted because they all look like creepy old guys.
James Hetfield from Metallica caught himself on fire, but unlike these hair metal bitches, he stuck it out. At some concerts they throw animal carcasses and raw meat on stage. I could only imagine the shit fit Bret Michaels would throw if that happened to one of his concerts.
I hate hair metal because it negates the purpose of listening to metal, IMO. I guess if you're interested in pop or more commercial sounding music, hair metal is suited better to that crowd but I have real issues with associating it with...say, Iron Maiden or Black Sabbath, for example.
I turned to metal because it was an escape from upbeat vapid shit, which pretty much describes Poison, Motley Crue, and all that shit.
Leave the hair metal bullocks in the 80s where it belongs.
Bret Michaels and Nikki Sixx can go munch on a bag of dicks. Maybe if your band was actually good, people would care if you got injured without you literally needing to BEG for sympathy. Man the fuck up.
COUGAR LURE is the First and Largest Total Free site for Cougars and Young Men. It offers the matchmaking service for charming and mature women as well as attractive men.Search for what you want, find more than you dreamed!
Casual dating, relationships and discreet encounters are just some of the things you will find in the best upscale personals site.
Whether you define yourself as a cougar, a sugar baby, a Boy Toy, a Sugar Mommy, a Sugar Daddy, or simply desire that sexy, extramarital affair,I think my site ***cou gar lure.c o m*** is your best choice! Free sign up and to meet sexy and hot woman and handsome man,hot pics and vdieos!
www.cougarlure.com
haha!! too damn much mk.
It is really the depth of meanness to enjoy someone else's suffering but....hahahahahahaha!
It couldn't have happened to a better candidate!
who beat him?
I met my perfect one on ----BlackWhiteMeet, C O M---- It is a wonderful dating site for black and white singles to have fun together! And it's free! Hope it can help you find your ideal match!
Ouch that hurts.
80's House Music... Like This
He should be lucky he was invited.
all the other posers in poison managed to get off the stage without injury, so what's bret's issue aside from the fact that his wig was on too tight and clouded his judgement...
_____________________________________________
a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
I wonder if he takes off his wig when he's banging the ROL skanks
Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 1:47pm.
in the immortal words of Nelson: HA HA!
_______________________________
hee hee I love Nelson!
Poor guy, I felt bad for him. He seems to be a nice person, althought Rock of Love sucks.
Lick it!
That damn set piece ought to be hot slut of the fucking year.
My man looks like Eminem in the first pic.
This all reminded me of this site...
http://www.bretswig.com/
Crybaby Bart was too wasted and too busy looking at himself in the mirror to listen to the Tony producers give him the directions. He should thank his lucky stars he got smacked down by the hot piece. He is getting all the attention he craves from his heyday.
Submitted by kanderso on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 12:03pm.
Completely off-topic, but did Michael Douglas really say that? I mean, I'm like two steps behind MK as the gayest gay that ever gayed most of the time, but I would be the straightest motherfucker in the world for Jennifer Aniston. Her in that wedding dress, sitting on the side of the tub with Owen Wilson, in Marley and Me is seared into my mind. So, if Douglas said that, I must become a big fan.
And OT? He's a douchebag, and Ray just proved that. You saw the gigantic wall Sunday morning, jackass. No excuses for getting taken to school for trying to suck a few last seconds of fading glory.
in the immortal words of Nelson: HA HA!
------------------------
http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
"weave-danna"
ROFL! I nominate this as word slut of the year!
Crock of love sucks!!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Submitted by freebird on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 1:11pm.
OMG!!!! LMFAO!!!!I had to jump off after I posted, it was SO worth coming back to check for your response. YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!!
```
Thank you, freebird! I love when I can give anyone a chuckle.
What a whiny little bitch with weird baby doll hair. Can he not afford human hair for his weave? BTW I love you MK!!
**************************************************************************
My sweet baby girl born 4-15-09
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 12:09pm.
Submitted by freebird on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 12:04pm.
You have to work back into the duality of life on Earth by understanding that the sweetness of a 'Good Time' is only fully lived by realizing that 'Every Rose has its Thorn.' Hence in the full experience of love and pain, one is born into godhood. With a sweet sweet banadana weave.
```
ROTFL
Sometimes when I am meditating, I use the chant, "Om mani padme down the basement lock the cellar door and baby talk dirty to me"
It helps me find my center.
********
OMG!!!! LMFAO!!!!I had to jump off after I posted, it was SO worth coming back to check for your response. YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!!
Oh please, it's the god damn Tonys. If you weren't expecting set pieces to move, then you shouldn't have even been allowed to set foot on stage. What a moron. It's drama people! DRAMA!
--------------------------------------
"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
"Weave-danna" LOL! Classic, MK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm Not an Alcoholic, I'm a Wine Connoisseur!"
Submitted by ray: "He hit his mark at the dress rehearsal when the set piece was brought down.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRK4eJfy5PQ"
GOOD WORK, ray!
You're busted, Bret. Fucking whiny bitch LIAR.
Now if someone could confirm the amount of time it takes to develop and read an X-ray...
BS.
That's a nose job and collagen injection gone wrong. :)
He hit his mark at the dress rehearsal when the set piece was brought down.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRK4eJfy5PQ
"Bret moaned that the Tony people would have cared more if this happened to Dolly Parton, Liza or Elton John."
Of course they would, Bret. We all would and do. Duh.
babybunny: Taya! LOL
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
where was "Tara" or whatever that skanks name was that "won" his heart on Rock of Herpes Bus...God what a joke that was...but it did produce Lady DJ Tribe...and all those other class acts that are on Charm School. I hate myself btw for watching all of it..but I am in too deep now...just saw the Charm School were the went to the "haunted clinic" scaarryy...they probably felt right at home. Bret is such a joke...a parody of what a rock star should be...what a wuss...I bet Ozzy has been hit by worse and just shrugged it off...such a babee...waahhh!!
ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:45am.
Hey Bret Michaels. I have a rigid external distraction device on my head right now, so suck my balls, whinetard!
im sorry
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Even Beavis and Butthead thought Poison was lame. Heh heh.
You'll live, Bret, you'll live.
Oh, and waiting for the X-rays to come back? Where did they go?
His lawyer's office.
That shit is "ready" in no time.
I find it very hard to believe that no one told him about the descending set piece. I'm definitely NOT an expert on this shit, but wouldn't they have done a rehearsal or put tape marks on the stage or something? THese are all professionals staging that shit.
He probably didn't show up for rehearsals.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:45am.
Hey Bret Michaels. I have a rigid external distraction device on my head right now, so suck my balls, whinetard!
You Dlisted homeies can Google that shit. I'll explain why I have it on later. Time for medication.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LMFAO....but seriously, it must be painful!!! I've seen some photos of the RED device...and it's no joke. I hope the meds work well enough.
Submitted by freebird on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 12:04pm.
You have to work back into the duality of life on Earth by understanding that the sweetness of a 'Good Time' is only fully lived by realizing that 'Every Rose has its Thorn.' Hence in the full experience of love and pain, one is born into godhood. With a sweet sweet banadana weave.
```
ROTFL
Sometimes when I am meditating, I use the chant, "Om mani padme down the basement lock the cellar door and baby talk dirty to me"
It helps me find my center.
Is it just me or does his swollen face make him look like Mickey Rorke?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Why do you think you take a HO to a HOtel!
Im sure that set piece falling on his face did hurt but he should be happy that he even got to perform at the Tony's! He makes a good point, if this happened to Dolly or anyone else people would be different, that should be his clue that he means nothing to us anymore.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Why do you think you take a HO to a HOtel!
Who is he representing with that blue rag on his head? You are in your 40's Bret..time to throw in the towel so to speak.
"How do you fuck a fat chick? Flip through the folds and when you smell shit...go back one."
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:45am.
Submitted by freebird on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:38am.
He wasn't looking up, he was only looking inward to his heart that he may share the majesty of Poison with the world.
**
That is true. He was probably still feeling the transcendent nirvana-like state that is, "Nothin' But a Good Time." You don't come back from that easily. Or at least not with out a shot of penicillin.
*********
You have to work back into the duality of life on Earth by understanding that the sweetness of a 'Good Time' is only fully lived by realizing that 'Every Rose has its Thorn.' Hence in the full experience of love and pain, one is born into godhood. With a sweet sweet banadana weave.
Quit being a waa-baby and thank your lucky stars that falling set piece gave you an ounce of relevance.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:50am.
Ever since his accident and the reconstruction of his face, he's looked "off".
*****
In most cases, people don't ever look 100% after reconstructive surgery. I dated a baseball player in college who was in batting practice when a ball flew at his face and shattered his eyesocket. He got reconstructive surgery and everything healed...but there was always a difference.
We broke up for unrelated reasons. I'm not THAT shallow of a bitch!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
Well, to be fair I'd be pissed if I were him. And no, he never takes off the wig/bandana.
He looks like he got hit by the Bang Bus.
(Hating myself for even knowing that there is such a thing.)
------------------------------------------
Viper in the bosom.
Isn't he supposed to be this tough rock guy? What a fucking pussy. Dude, it is a SCRATCH.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
did he mention that he fell down drunk at the rock of ages after party 100 times?
****~v~****
"Why would I love a couch?" | "Happy Wife, Happy Life"- Joe
Agreed!
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 11:24am.
I don't blame him for being pissed if they didn't inform him of the descending prop.
I love how despite his injuries, he's still able to pout for the camera.
He is totally bald under that bandana wig, isn't he? I have never seen his show so I wonder if he ever takes it off. BTW. Ever since his Poison days in the 80s I always thought he was gay or bi...are we sure there's only biological women in that bus of love or whatever its name is?
"I do believe in sluts" - Dorothy Sbornak