Tuesday, June 9th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By A Smurf Orgy
If you were recently trying to buy blue food coloring in Swansea, Wales, you were probably shit out of luck since 3,000 students already emptied out the city's supply. 3,000 hos from Swansea University painted themselves blue and put on condom hats to break the world record for the largest number of Smurfs in one place. A city in Ireland set the record in 2008 with 1,253 Smurfs. An official from Guinness World Records was on hand to declare them triumphant. Blue balls galore!
Why do I also think they broke the world record for the most people simultaneously rolling on Ecstasy while under the same roof in Swansea, Wales. Seriously, I would have to be trippin' like mad on the wrong shit in order to deal with thousands of Smurfs around me.
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:15pm.
My only OCD issue is I must have fridge fully stocked with beer in case of all-out nuclear warfare... it could happen.
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O.M.G. You must be my soulmate. I do the same thing, but with vodka & tequila. It isn't that I stay drunk or consume a vast amount, but I have to have a certain number of full bottles in case there was a nuclear attack & the liquor store is closed for a few weeks. On Christmas Eve, I almost panic because I'm worried about the liquor store being closed one add'l day. I keep mini bottles stashed in my purse & backpack in case I break down & help won't reach me for a few hours or I get lost while hiking. I have a bottle of blue alcohol (I think rum) that I know that I will never drink, but I won't give it away because I fear that all my vodka & tequila will be consumed & I will be snowed in for a few days and will need that bottle of blue stuff. I am not kidding.
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If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
I also don't bother eating colored candies because I have to organize them by color, then eat them by quantity, most to least. M&Ms and Skittles fucking exhaust me.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:26pm.
HAHA I wish I was messing - it has just gotten really bad over the years, I try I TRY to not rub it just to see what happens, but my mind will not rest until I do, I even wake up at night if my (OK I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SILLY) but if i feel my elbows rub the pillows.) LOL - I laugh cause I know its stupid, and I know I can overcome it - its just a fucking MENTAL thing.
I'm not a loon or anything - just a little OCD :)
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BTW, I know someone who worked for them as a maid. She said Brad leaves skidmarks the size of a NASCAR track on his shortz - SUGA ROO
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:26pm.
Submitted by TEE on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:24pm.
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Are you messing with us about the elbows? Cuz that sht was FUNNY.
But if you weren't messing with us, my ELBOWS now feel ALL TINGLY and I have to rub them!!
My mopmmy says (more for your superstition) that rubbing your elbows is also a mating call for muniez. Especially after you hit it against something accidentally.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
I'm with you on the food texture thing. I served myself up some leftover lasagna for lunch and couldn't eat it. I literally gagged over the first bite and dumped it all down the sink. What the hell?
SHIT!
*rubbing elbows*
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:21pm.
Submitted by Boob3rries on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:20pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:18pm.
Breakfast foods can't be touching. Sausages or any other meant aways from the eggs away from the hashbrown.
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OK. YOU WIN.
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lol you are right on the brush thing, those can be washed.
I always touch the screen of my PC a thousand times cause I have the need to touch the cursor...I know RITE?!?!
I need serious help.
I also hate being touched for no other purpose than lovings from hubby or cat. MY cat.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Submitted by TEE on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:24pm.
HAHAHA... WTF is with the elbows? Is it for luck, superstition? Or just some wacked-out habit? I find this fascinating...
HELLO horz - WE TALKING ocd? i GOT ISSUES... and they are getting bad.
Basically anytime my elbow touches anything I have to rub it, its crazy, especially when i wear long sleave shirts. If I feel my shirt touch my elbow i have to rub it, when i drive and my elbows touch the seat i have to rub it. if my child bumps into my elbows I have to rub it! OMG i can go on and on. AND now if i see someones elbow bump into anything I have to ask them to rub it, it drives the hubby crazy and he purposely bang his elbows, just talking about it creeps me the fuck out! this pass week the boss took the office out to lunch and his elbow swiped the seat belt while he was driving, OMG it drove me nuts until I asked him to rub it he looked at me like i was insane but thank goodness he obliged!
** Edited I kid you guys not i must run my elbows about 10-20 times in an hour.
*rubs elbows*
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BTW, I know someone who worked for them as a maid. She said Brad leaves skidmarks the size of a NASCAR track on his shortz - SUGA ROO
Submitted by TEE on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:24pm.
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Are you messing with us about the elbows? Cuz that sht was FUNNY.
But if you weren't messing with us, my ELBOWS now feel ALL TINGLY and I have to rub them!!
Submitted by girl_cheese on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:16pm.
I have a stockpile of alcohol myself - the kind a person can drink.
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I will NEVER understand why Kitty Dukakis drank rubbing alcohol.
Ok, horz. Must do werk. Bye now!
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:22pm.
uhg... I cannot even stand the sight of oatmeal.
Oh, and my food cannot touch on my plate. NO TOUCHING!
And when it comes to other peoples food. I can eat out at a restaurant, but if someone brings in food that they cooked at home, and I wasn't there to witness it. I won't eat it. I can't.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:20pm.
I agree about the food texture thing... certain foods just don't "feel" right... which translates (in my brain anyway) that it tastes like shit!
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OMG. The only person I've ever told this to is my husband and now YOU ALL.
I CANNOT STAND OATMEAL. It has the texture of vomit!
Submitted by Boob3rries on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:20pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:18pm.
Breakfast foods can't be touching. Sausages or any other meant aways from the eggs away from the hashbrown.
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OK. YOU WIN.
I agree about the food texture thing... certain foods just don't "feel" right... which translates (in my brain anyway) that it tastes like shit!
Submitted by Boob3rries on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:16pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:11pm.
The comb/brush thing...my mom would step on it 3 times with each foot cause she said the first three taps got rid of the bad vibes and the other three were a call for money (my mom is superstitious I'm not..with that). And I'd go like I don't care if we're fucking broke YOU'RE GETTING MORE GERMS ALL OVER IT AND I HAVE TO DO MY HAIRZ MUUUM!!!!!
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Wow. That's BRILLIANT! Thanks for sharing the brush REMEDY! I'd rather have a dirty brush or comb than bad luck. You can wash a brush. ;-)
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:18pm.
Breakfast foods can't be touching. Sausages or any other meant aways from the eggs away from the hashbrown.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
I am OCD about food. Certain textures bother me, like coconut. I HAAAAAAAAATE coconut. I also only like square french fries and I pick through popcorn to find the ones that look "lighter."
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I have a stockpile of alcohol myself - the kind a person can drink.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:11pm.
The comb/brush thing...my mom would step on it 3 times with each foot cause she said the first three taps got rid of the bad vibes and the other three were a call for money (my mom is superstitious I'm not..with that). And I'd go like I don't care if we're fucking broke YOU'RE GETTING MORE GERMS ALL OVER IT AND I HAVE TO DO MY HAIRZ MUUUM!!!!!
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
My only OCD issue is I must have fridge fully stocked with beer in case of all-out nuclear warfare... it could happen.
I'm a bleachy-wipes ho, myself - keeping the industry in business. I can't stand anything spilled or dirty, but my dad was a Catholic ... I always thought I got my weird stuff from him. He was downright spartan.
My OCD has to do with things being kept in order, facing right direction, etc.
I am a freak about the house being clean, but had to let go A LOT when I had kids.
Oh, and my clothes. Have to be folded, a certain way, for each piece, bra, undies, socks, tanks, T's, jeans, capri's, etc. All color coordinated.
And it goes from there. I can tell, even just walking in the door if BH has "turned" or moved (even a millimeter) a picture, candle, etc.
Oh and dirt. I don't do dirt.
After washing my hands or getting them wet, I HAVE to have lotion to put on. If I don't I freak out. I have dry skin OCD issues. I am a lotion whore. I carry lotion around with me wherever I go.
Submitted by girl_cheese on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:57pm.
D.D., are you Vietnamese perchance? One of my friends is and is hugely superstitious; she says all Vietnamese are. Colors are also incredibly important to her. I do pick up bad pennies, however & give em a throw.
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No, not Vietnamese. A lot of this DID start though after I read a bunch of FENG SHUI books. About 10 years ago. And my mom was crazy superstitious.
I told my brother about my dropping a hairbrush phobia and he took my hairbrush and dropped it 3 times on purpose. He said that UN-does the bad luck of dropping it the first time. I was like WTF?! Stop it!! I had no idea he was as crazy as me.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:06pm.
Oh yes I have. And I have bad allergies too so I fking escape dust! Since I usually have my wipies with me, I wipe the table when they aren't watching. I've done it to the utensils and plate too as soon as they get up for the meal they invited me for.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Submitted by Boob3rries on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:02pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:52pm.
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Oh sht!!! We have similar clean patterns. It's a nightmare to be like this!
This might be gross, but once a week, when I clean the house, just about EVERYTHING gets a go in the dishwasher! I put my hairbrushes and combs in there. I disassemble the taple top fans and throw those in, too. I only buy the kind that you can disassemble. Have you ever been to someone's house and seen a tabletop or ceiling fan going round and round and there's a 3 inch pile of dirt/dust on it? That literally makes me ill.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:02pm.
ROTFLMAO
*makes K sound*
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by bitchette on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:01pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:52pm.
it sounds like you are overly accessorized.
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LOL. And this is a "light" jewelry day.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:52pm.
=(
I wash my hands before doing anything I need to be clean for, and after doing anything I consider germy or filthy (example: having been on the PC for a set of hours, I won't even scratch my nose before washing my hands). First I do it with a neutral soap bar with germicide, then with Dove cucumber liquid soap. If by chance (rarely) I do it the other way around, I have to wash the bottle of Dove, the sink and the tap because I touched them with my hands full of germs instead of using the germicide first. Just so it isn't so extreme that I have to get up all the time (cause he can't stand it) Jamie buys me germicide wipes I keep close to me at all times.
That is just one of my many obsessions.
Others include brushing my teeth after every single meal, be it a full meal like dinner, or a glass of something else aside from water, because of the sugars and stuff. Whenever I will go brush my teeth, I do the hand washing ritual, THEN I wash my THREE brushes. And brush for at least 7 minutes, up to 15. Has to be an odd number. 7 to 15 minutes with each bush. I send at least 30 minutes in there brushing. Every time. I know. I know.
Sorry.
I have more..I'm not proud but I'm happy when life is all clean.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Soft hands!
KKKKKK.
Submitted by bitchette on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:46pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:43pm.
heeheee.... he's gonna hate that!
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I know, but you can't imagine his wailing to be let outside. He sees the other cat go outside and he's jelly. Yesterday he wailed so much i started crying. My husband said, DON'T LET HIM OUT! YOU'LL REGRET IT!! I said only 5 minutes! I couldn't stand it. I felt like he was in pain (I know, sick).
So Ivan pretty much has gotten out (when I let the dog out to do his pee trail thing) every single day for about two weeks. The following has ensued:
I put on my crocs (I know!) and run after him like a wild banshee in my orange pajamas screaming IVAN GET BACK HERE!!! Then there's this ridiculous fire drill and my husband runs out the front door to head him off in the back. I await him in the front. Ivan just runs around clawing at the grass, climbing the tree, and hopping the wall. Basically, making us look crazy. Finally, on Saturday, I said FUK THIS!!!! Let him play! He'll be back in like 10 minutes.
And its true. He comes back in 10 minutes all scared.
I do think the harness will work. He just won't like it that he won't be able to fly over the wall.
I sat on the patio this morning as he did his shennanigans. I use the other cat as bait to get him back in. He LURVES her.
So yeah. This insanity needs to end.
By the time he came back inside this morning he was panting. When I left the house he was SO VERY HAPPY, laying/lying peacefully on the tile.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:00pm.
No, not NYC. I've never seen anything like it! It's not a fucking baby, people. Animals can walk, lol.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:52pm.
it sounds like you are overly accessorized.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Um, I saw an Obssessed last week and this hispanic chick was terrified she was going to murder someone. The therapist had her put a knife to her neck and hold it there for ten seconds to prove to her she wasn't going to actually go through with her urges. That's all and good except the bitch totally had Murder Eyes. Yep, she's gonna take someone out SOON.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:57pm.
Stoney are in you in NYC? I see people doing that shit with their dogs all the time. I've even seen people pushing full sized baby strollers with little poodles and shit. I am like really?!
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
D.D., are you Vietnamese perchance? One of my friends is and is hugely superstitious; she says all Vietnamese are. Colors are also incredibly important to her. I do pick up bad pennies, however & give em a throw.
There is this older lady in my building who has this mesh green cage contraption on wheels with a push handle and she puts her cat in it and rolls the thing outside around the block and it cracks me the fuck up every single day. The cat is just kinda like, ok.
There are so many weirdos in my building, I could tell you some crazy stories!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I'm so bored today. And exhausted.
Anyone seen the hangover? I really want to but can't find anyone that wants to go with. I guess that's what I get for having the maturity of an 18 year old boy.
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
ME & DD, I saw Obsessed last week. There was a buff dude who was a germaphobe and his therapist threw a used tampon in his bathroom basket. And then they talked about period fluids. Yack. He got a little better.
I am a germaphobe, but nothing compared to these folks. It really sucks being them.
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She's flat and that's that!
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:41pm.
DD- I feel completely normal now after watching that show. My OCD is NOTHING, NOTHING compared to that fckery.
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That good, huh?
These are the decisions I had to make today:
1. Must put on the panties FIRST before the bra, otherwise: BAD LUCK.
2. Put the pants on before the top or its bad luck.
3. Put the jewelery on AFTER the make-up or its bad luck
4. Sit on the bed while combing wet hair in case the comb falls because if it hits the ground: BAD LUCK!
5. As I drive to work I put on my makeup. It HAS to go on in a certain order, otherwise: BAD LUCK!
6. As I put on the jewelry I have to decide what goes on first. The order has to be right or BAD LUCK. I have 2 pairs of earrings to put on, one necklace, two bracelets and one ring. There must never be 4 items on the hand. ONly 3 or 5, but not 4. Same with the head accessories.
7. Walking to the office there's a penny on the ground - tails up. I cannot remember if its good or bad luck to pick-up a tails-up penny. I hedge back and forth, eyeing the penny. SHould I or shouldn't I? I say WTF my life is such hell right now it could NOT be worse so I pick up the penny.
Are you tired yet?
I could go on, but that was an example of only a FEW of the things I had to consider - ALL BEFORE 9AM
Submitted by girl_cheese on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:48pm.
"anvil fell off a bldg and killed him "
LOL
And Jamie told me about coyotes...I though he was fucking kidding me until I saw the news here and there. Never seen one. I hope they're not common here? I am so ignorant when it comes to Coyotes. All I've ever seen and cried over regarding them are dead goggies on peoples lawns
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Submitted by Flatsy on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:47pm.
I'm in Philly. I fear whats coming next I just hope I get home in time before it gets too ugly.
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People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.- Daria
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:44pm.
Provy - you are probably right. But still. The anticipation is killing me. I need some grody entertainment.
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I'm getting proverbial blue balls here waiting. I'm not sure what that says about me.
M.E. - the fear-of-poo woman did get help and seemed to be getting over the OCD stuff, but Mr. Exercise couldn't do it. He had a serious fear of death thing. Would be funny (I'm an asshole, I'll admit it) if an anvil fell off a bldg and killed him while he was walking into the gym.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:43pm.
Not all that nutty babeh. We used to walk my siamese cat. And we will have to do the same even if it is to let Osiris out in the balcony with us because he's a suicide cat. Unlike other kittehs he has a poor depth perception and he is way more curious than normal. At the other place we had a balcony upstairs and a huge patio on the main floor...he tossed himself a couple times. And once he crossed over balconies and went onto the other house...on the second floor...AN EMPTY HOUSE. Jamie improvised a ladder out of three chairs to save my boy.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:40pm.
I take the train/bus to school and was scared out of my mind. I have to walk a hefty distance from the train stop to school I did not want to get struck by lightning!
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People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.- Daria
Thanks ride!!! =)
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 3:43pm.
i tried the whole harness thing for my oldest cat a couple of years ago(she hasn't had freedom of outside for over a decade)... if i wanted to, i could of took her for a drag... other than that, once she was outside she was scared as shit!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."