Tuesday, June 9th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By A Smurf Orgy
If you were recently trying to buy blue food coloring in Swansea, Wales, you were probably shit out of luck since 3,000 students already emptied out the city's supply. 3,000 hos from Swansea University painted themselves blue and put on condom hats to break the world record for the largest number of Smurfs in one place. A city in Ireland set the record in 2008 with 1,253 Smurfs. An official from Guinness World Records was on hand to declare them triumphant. Blue balls galore!
Why do I also think they broke the world record for the most people simultaneously rolling on Ecstasy while under the same roof in Swansea, Wales. Seriously, I would have to be trippin' like mad on the wrong shit in order to deal with thousands of Smurfs around me.
cute!!!
I met my perfect one on ----BlackWhiteMeet, C O M---- It is a wonderful dating site for black and white singles to have fun together! And it's free! Hope it can help you find your ideal match!
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:41pm.
But other than the booze disorder, checking the locks 3 times, and setting the alarms 3 times, I'm pretty normal.
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My bf is OCD about locking things too. I'm getting more careful and check more often too because one time the door was locked, but when I checked it the next morning, I noticed it wasn't LATCHED, so that was really pointless. And there is a story in the news recently about someones crazy neighbor dude breaking into her house wearing only his boxers and a purple bra. I don't think I have any crazy people to worry about, but there are a few sex offenders in the neighborhood.
I think you must have made a mistake MK. That's just what people in Wales look like anyway.
I need to go doo doo
My poo My poo
My lovely smelly poo
I will poo for you all. Then drink.
girl cheese?
pr0n pics of 2yo girl - there's a story on japantoday.com about the arrest of a 23yo woman for taking and selling porn pics of her 2yo daughter. Fucking disgusting. Just when you think it can't get any worse:
http://www.japantoday.com/category/crime/view/hyogo-woman-arrested-for-t...
Sprinkles everyone with ~~doo doo~~
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 5:26pm.
I do certain things in order.
I too find myself walking into a room and cannot for the life of me remember why I went in there, only to return to the other room, proceed with whatever I was doing, only to remember what I went in the other room for.
I blame mommy brain on that one.
I do that to ME and Im not a mommy!
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
now many single have accounts on ___ClassyMingle.com____ .it's a big millionaire and celebrities dating site. it's a big chance to meet your classy lover in your life time.
Notice we haven't seen Robo Katie since that blind item about a "Robot Wife" who filed papers to end an "arranged marriage/contract"?
I guess the Co$ has stuck her into the sauna to sweat that shit out of her....Tommygirl will not be denied!!!!
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"this fucker doesn't even fit!!" ~Toonkinstein
oooooohhh
Pope of Greenwich Village is on right now.
I want to cry when I see what Mickey Rourke
looked like back then. compared to now.
Oh and if anyone cares, I OCD on hand gel or any type of lotion. freak. but atleast I have soft clean hands.
Coma Caca!!
hahahahaa. smurfs rock!this is my kind of orgy...ooops I mean party. talk about party um yeah on saturday I got so drunk and f((((@*(*# up, I was so ashamed to talk to the people the next day. then they told me all about the fuckery I said and did. I was laughing soooo hard. lesson learned, moving on. wahahahhaha.
Coma Caca!!
I do certain things in order.
I too find myself walking into a room and cannot for the life of me remember why I went in there, only to return to the other room, proceed with whatever I was doing, only to remember what I went in the other room for.
I blame mommy brain on that one.
EH, just post it tomorrow in this open post.
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She's flat and that's that!
for anyone who cares, today has been the longest, hardest working days ive had in awhile and I promise im not playing games or anything like that but I would post the desert story now cept I know its past d listed prime and only 10 people will see so ill post it tomorrow early...even though I wont be here by the time open post comes and someone else can repost it in open post or whatever....ugh, that sounds so pathetic. screw that, ill just make some time and post it in open tommorrow..
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*I really want to give myself a paper cut right about now*
*Never buy anything from someone whos out of breath*
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:59pm.
@bitchette - I have to do things in certain orders only so I won't forget to do them. I think I have some sort of A.D.D. or some shit.
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I do that with my nightly prayers. If I don't do it in order, then I forget either a blessing or a thank-you. And yet if I don't concentrate on doing it in order, I WILL mess it up even though it's memorized.
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
Okay, now I'm convinced we're just the same person. :P
Osiris (cat) has been talking to the birdies for the last 45 minutes. Now the fucker undignified piece of shit neighbour next door left...googgie started barking obviously and then went onto cries of loneliness. Osiris replies to him through the window and soothes him. It's the most adorable thing I've seen today.
EDIT I ENVY YOU BIATCHES IN DIFFERENT TIME ZONES WHERE IT IS PAST 5 PM *whimpers* Hubbyyyy....I'm all alone in here come rescue me.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 5:02pm
LOL... I am always finding myself in a room wondering WTF I'm doing. Only to walk out then remember. I waste more time doing stupid shit.
5:00.... *whistle blows*
DRINKS ON ME!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:59pm.
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Now I'm not so sure we're not married.
@bitchette - I have to do things in certain orders only so I won't forget to do them. I think I have some sort of A.D.D. or some shit.
i do stuff in certain orders, but i don't really care that much.
i do not like my food touching either M.E. and i can't eat other people's cooking really. i'm always picking at it and pulling the skin off, and i have now had 2 boyf, tell me if you're not going to eat it leave it alone!
ha! it was their mama's food. :P
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:51pm.
Considering I used to be naked kid...that sounds pretty good to me! Hahaha.
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
LOL - sounds like a couple of fundraising events I've been to for Mike Huckabee.
You all are killing me here with your ocd stuff. I count things, check the door locks multiple times, arrange my closet by colors and I wash my hands a lot. It's all good.
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She's flat and that's that!
I just had to go chase Thing 2 out in the yard. Kid is wearing a tee shirt, Spider-Man underpants, flip flops and nothing else.
Close, jack. LOL
Ok, I have to leave in 20 minutes. If that idiot hooker EH arrives and tries to tell the the desert story I will shank a bitch! She now has to wait until tomorrow!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I guess MK is not going to post about the ending of the love affair of the century. I always thought Miley and Justin were forever.
Seriously I am over work right now. So exhausted.
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
Stoney: Arkansas perchance?
I too read "dirty cooler" as "dirty cooter"
Man I have a sick mind.
Stoney, I would NOT have been able to eat anything from there. HELL NO!
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:41pm
I do something similar with the locks - I keep peeking my head around the corner looking at the front door - looking at the deadbolt and making sure it is turned the right way. I don't actually go over and check it... but still exhausting as hell. Then, get almost to the bedroom and FUCK! *turns around to go check again!*
@ Stoney...ah ha! Makes sense now.
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:42pm.
****
My pleasure... *sighs*
Submitted by TEE on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:37pm.
My lord poor puppy ='(
Whenever she hits her elbow my mom starts rubbing it frantically and she chants 'SURPRISE SURPRISE IF IT'S GOOD LET IS COME IF IT'S BAD MAKE IT STOP'.
The loon gene, tha looon. So I'm with ya on the elbow thing. Minus what my mom does. I'm obsessive, not utterly superstitious. Except for mirrors and ceilings and closets and cupboards.
EDIT and the toilet lid. You know, put it down or your muniez goes aways.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:37pm.
and then they brought out this old cheesedip and were using a dirty cooler as a serving table
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I totally read that as "dirty cooter" and almost vommed.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:39pm.
Yeah, he is still my bf. I call him that because someone else on here who shall not be named did that once and now I'm trying to make light of it. Also because he pisses me off a lot, lol.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:39pm.
LOL! TOO MUCH!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:28pm.
I guess its stems from superstutious beliefs - It's Fucking Nuts! I hate it, Even if i just imagine my elbows hitting something I have to rub them.
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BTW, I know someone who worked for them as a maid. She said Brad leaves skidmarks the size of a NASCAR track on his shortz - SUGA ROO
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:39pm.
Your husband would have a heart attack if he saw my sock drawer...hahahahah.
ps. thanks for the GIF..so HOT. :)
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
Oh, besides the alcohol worry, I have to lock my doors three times to feel that they are indeed locked, I was up to 8 or 9 times a few years ago, but I got it down to 3, and I set my alarm 3 times at night.
But other than the booze disorder, checking the locks 3 times, and setting the alarms 3 times, I'm pretty normal.
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If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:36pm.
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I don't consider myself OCD but I do have some seriously weird shit I do. My husband's pretty anal, too so he doesn't have much room to talk. Don't get me started on his socks. They are identical but he takes an hour to match them up to fold. Width of ankle, length of shaft, how much padding is left on the bottom. No wonder our kids are so weird.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:37pm.
That's so disgusting. I think I would have feigned fullness. *ick*
Is loser still your boyfriend?!
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:35pm.
HAHAHAHA!!!! I totally agree on the Christmas thing.
Where I live they do not sell alcohol on Sundays. HOLY SHIT! I panic at 8am Saturday morning.
Ok so last weekend the loser and I went to his friends' house for a cookout. Well. We got there and they were all sitting outside in the middle of the backyard in lawn chairs, there was no grass on the ground, just dirt, huge dogs running around everywhere, and no table, along with these two nasty fat ass muffin top hobags who were the friends of the friends who kept telling stories about getting into fights. The house was a disaster, underwear on the bathroom floor and all. Anyway, they started cooking the food and I started getting worried because the unbathed stinky muffin top friends were cutting the vegetables for the burgers and then people started spraying bug spray everywhere and then they brought out this old cheesedip and were using a dirty cooler as a serving table and there were flies everywhere, and let me tell you, I had to dredge up every last BIT of etiquette I had to choke down that questionable meal. I don't get it, actually. Most of the loser's friends are pretty snobby and clean. I had no idea what I was getting in to with these people though...
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Boob3rries on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 4:30pm.
I think IF i can recall it all started when (hahaha let me lay on the couch) my mom mentioned that if we bumped our elbows and WE didn't rub it we would get a pleasant surprise, my sisters friend ended up hitting her elbow that day and said "Im not rubbing it I want a surprise". That whole day I kept that on my mind, well guess what happened, the bitched stepped on our three week old puppy and killed it (she stepped on his neck and he siezured til he died!) I think thats where my OCD stems back to.
LOL * rubs elbows*
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BTW, I know someone who worked for them as a maid. She said Brad leaves skidmarks the size of a NASCAR track on his shortz - SUGA ROO
ISMU: ROFLMA.
If I hadn't seen your picture the other day whenever everyone was posting their pics I would swear I was married to you!! It drains me to watch.
I count everything...but mostly steps. I don't even realize I am doing it and then all of a sudden I realize I am on step 250. Also if I touch something wrong with my foot or my hand (i.e a crack in the sidewalk) I have to do it with the other foot or hand or I feel uneven.
I also cannot have food mix on the plate and totally have texture issues. I also absolutely cannot have sweet and salty mixed together in food. *gags*
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.