Jessica Alba Didn't Think This Through
While MiserAlba was in Oklahoma City shooting The Killer Inside Me, she decided to spend her off hours saving the sharks by fucking up other people's property! You know, because it's widely known that Oklahoma City is a popular summer vacation spots for sharks.
The Lost Ogle says that last week MiserAlba pasted shark posters all over Downtown Oklahoma City as a way to raise awareness to the shrinking population of Great Whites. The problem is that there was no kind of information on the poster. It's just a poster of a Great White that she probably bought at the swap meet. This looks more like a gorilla marketing campaign for Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Now that would've been brilliant.
There's also another problem. MiserAlba covered up a billboard for United Way. The United Way told TMZ that they will probably have to pay to get the billboard replaced.
My favorite part is how she looks all proud of herself! She's like "Yay me!" I mean, she's even SMILING really big. She probably bought herself a cupcake afterwards for a job well done. And don't even accuse MiserAlba of not knowing anything about sharks. She was in Into the Blue after all and there were sharks in that movie. Duh.
You know the sharks are down in the ocean pasting posters of MiserAlba's angry face with the text, "You aren't helping" written on it.
UPDATE: MiserAlba issued an "I'm sowwy" statement to TMZ, but she kind of just blamed the shark people for leading her to vandalism: "I got involved in something I should have had no part of. I realize that I should have used better judgment and I regret not thinking things through before I made spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign. I sincerely apologize to the citizens of Oklahoma City and to the United Way for my involvement in this incident."
Image source: The Lost Ogle
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She was in Into the Blue after all and there were sharks in that movie. Duh.
******************* There was? I was to busy LOOKING AT HER ASS!
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:53pm.
Oooooooklahoma, where the whales come sweepin' down the plain.
I miss Okie :(
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Me too Snowy!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:53pm.
Oooooooklahoma, where the whales come sweepin' down the plain.
I miss Okie :(
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Me too. OKIEEEEEEE!
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Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand! ~Homer Simpson
Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:50pm.
Have you forgotten about the whole 'don't call me a latina episode?'
Sleep with one eye open.
Dark Angel is coming.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
She really embodies half of the word "environmental."
The word "dumbass" also comes to mind...
I hope the city sends her a hefty bill for the cleanup, and the owner of each place or item she vandalized sends her a tripled bill for damages or replacement.
OMG!!!! Jazzfish's avie!!!!!!
*falls off chair laughing uncontrollably*
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:50pm.
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You had me at "...she blows goats."
IT would have probably made a greater impact on a state next to the ocean that people frequently see Great Whites, like in California. But in Oklahoma? Moron, plus she should have asked permission to tape over the United Way posters. That shit's just rude!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
pssst jim, it is "you're" a dumb fucking bitch. :)
and I agree with you.
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"They even made me a merkin because they were so concerned that I might not be able to grow enough. I said, 'Guys, I am going to have to draw the line at a pubic wig."
-Kate Winslet
Talentless brainless fuck, another one that didn't even crack a sincerely smile not even when pregnant or with her baby. Stupid fuck just disappear back into the fog you came from. You lost relevance when Dark Angel got repetitive and called off the tele.
Stupid fuck.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30030756/?GT1=43001
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:52pm.
She has a tattoo on her wrist just like Alba.
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The one that says “Right”?
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Never regret something that once made you smile.
Maybe if she was in Australia or Hawaii or maybe even Florida, I would understand her need to voice this.
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Although, I kind of like her if only because Perez hates her.
YOUR A DUMB FUCKING BITCH!!!!
@Ricki Lake: I'm getting this strong impression that you don't like her. Is that correct? Does she owe you money? You seem upset. Do you need a hug?
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
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It's wearing leggings and a fedora at the same time. Conclusion: bitch is from Hollywood and clearly Jessica Alba.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Oooooooklahoma, where the whales come sweepin' down the plain.
I miss Okie :(
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Maybe she heard the Jets own this part of town and wanted to tag her Shark territory before Office Krumpke took her ass down with a tazer.
Submitted by Marilyn v2.0 on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:47pm.
She has a tattoo on her wrist just like Alba.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Submitted by Plecostomus on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:45pm.
OH MY GAWD it took me a bit to realize your avvie was Susan Boyle. The Gosselin 'do makes her look like Corky from Life Goes On. Sweet Lord I need glasses.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30030756/?GT1=43001
Yeah, surely this isn't really Jessica Alba, because even she isn't this stupid. It HAS to be a joke. I wish it wasn't, but it just has to be.
I am still cracking up. This is the friggin funniest post ever.
This bootleg bitch thinks she's the shizz because she was fucking DARK ANGEL and somehow managed to parlay her small-screen mediocrity to a silver-screen level of talentless ineptitude. Dane Cook's thrusting douche hips in Good Luck Chuck were compelling than you, Jessucka. You only wish you were THE FIRST LATINA SUPERSTAR, like JLo! hehe Seriously though folks...she blows goats. And her beauty is so ridiculous generic and blah that I don't even know why straight cocks find her all that compelling. Something tells me we'll be hearing about her future acting accomplishments for whole MINUTES to come! If there's one thing you can say about stars like Jessica, it's their commitment to longevity lol.
Plus, her outfit is stupid!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Covered up a United Way sign?? What a stupid sphincter licker.
Ahhahaha Plecostomus!
Oh my god. I think that this story might even be funnier to me than the Hot Slut of the Day guy.
Oh please let her get all offended about this.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Ok, Kate Hudson is also in this movie, which means that I just completely lost interest.
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
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Oh man, she is such a moron...She needs to just stop & do what she does best...NOTHING...while scowling.
Submitted by Plecostomus on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:45pm.
Are there sharks in Oklahoma?
Jessica Alba rests her case.
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LMFAO!!!!!!!!! Good one, Plec.
In my opinion, that isn't Jessica Alba. It's some chick who sort of looks like her. Not that I'm trying to defend her or anything but, I mean, can you actually imagine Jessica Alba going around doing this, knowing she could get arrested? She's got a baby at home, ffs.
Lost Ogle's article quotes from the 'White Mike' blog. When you go to that blog, he claims he had help from Jessica and links to some pictures. The pic link doesn't work anymore.
I'm just sayin', is all.
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"It's not true I had nothing on ~ I had the radio on."
So like, what the fuck do Oklahomans care about sharks? Why doesn't she poster up downtown L.A? Stupid bitch!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by Sugaroo on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:42pm.
Why is it that last week everyone was slamming Falkor for the sweater story but this week everyone now wants it re-told? Why the hypocrisy?
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EH/falkor/la CooCoo is the poor man's Btitney/LiHo
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
She was also in the remake tv series,Flipper.
http://www.flippertv.com/
So yeah,that makes her qualified.
*rolls eyes and chokes back vomit*
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Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:23pm.
SNOOGLE for HOT SLUT OF THE YEAR!!!
xo
Srsly, I hope this bitch gets pursued, because this is illegal. We have some fierce tagging laws here in LA.
Shows how brilliant this stupid bitch is to photograph herself defacing property.
She has made me stabby.
Stupid liberal Hollywood bitch. Ask them in Oklahoma City how the shark-fin soup tastes, moron. You know - the stuff that the nations of China and Korea and Japan consume that requires only that you capture a shark of any size, cut off its fins, and chunk in back. But hey, you continue to raise awareness in Oklahoma. (I'm glad global warming was so 15 minutes ago.)
Well, this actually makes sense, cuz...well, you know...there are so many unprovoked shark killings in OKLAHOMA.
What a fucking dumbass.
Are there sharks in Oklahoma?
Jessica Alba rests her case.
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Bottom-feeder.
Ahhahahaha louise_brooks!
This story is all sorts of hilarious.
And justice for the United Way and sharks alike would be a Great White taking one of her limbs.
I suppose her next stop on her poster tour will be Kansas.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
I kinda like it. I see a lot of pop art Cream O' Wheat posters everywhere in Tampa. I don't think wheat is an endangered species here.
We're trying to encourage the crazy because it's gotten to be so much fun, roo...
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Bitch could have defaced a Salvation Army or Red Cross billboard & gotten away with it, but everyone knows you don't fucking mess with United Way.
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If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
I wish she'd take those fingers that she's making the peace sign with and jam them into her eyeballs.
And C-word is right, this bitch out stupids Megan Fox. By infinity.
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"Yeah, but we are all HOT looking Monkey fighters and funny Monday to Friday people!" Devilgirl 6/8/09
"Dress by House of Dereon. Side boob by House of Desperation." The C-Word 5/18/09
In the 2nd thumbnail is she covering a ventilation system with the posters??? ROTFLMAO
HUH? Not one bit of this makes sense. And if you vandalize in the name of some guerrilla campaign, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to have yourself photographed while doing it.
That movie "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" is unbelievably amazing, though. Unbelievably.
A shark poster without the details just looks like someone really loves "Jaws" or proud that he/she just visited the Ripley's Aquarium. _______________________________________________
If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:37pm.
I was reallllyyyy looking forward to EH's HO SWEATER story.
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Not directed at Migraine at all - just using her quote as a reference.
Why is it that last week everyone was slamming Falkor for the sweater story but this week everyone now wants it re-told? Why the hypocrisy?
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
Maybe she meant the 80's band? Dumb stupid dumb.
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She's flat and that's that!
LMAO @ "you aren't helping" MK
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone