Wednesday, May 27th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Workout Dog
Watch this dog do more exercise in 30 seconds than I have done all year. Seriously, if I did that many squats I'd black out and wake up minutes later with defibrillator peddles on my chest.
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Snowy-did you catch RHONJ last night? I swear Danielle said that Dina was very cuntdescending. Maybe it's just the tik accent?
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She's flat and that's that!
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:22pm.
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:05pm.
He should have known, we've been together long enough, specially because his b-day is too weeks away from mine, we are both the same sign. I'm just sad I wasted my time, I do love him, but I was tired to be last on the list of priorities. I deserve better. :(. It fucking sucks though
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
My balcony container garden consists of 22 pots planted with Petunias, Lantana, Vinca, Begonias, Boxwood, Trailing Verbena, Geraniums, Creeping Jenny, Ivy and Sweet Potato Vine. It's fucking badass.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:23pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:21pm.
I know you bitches see that ad off to the side for uthervrse or whatever it is. WOW! That lady looks like a mean as principal I had growing up as a child.
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That's "Carmella" from the Sopranos. She had breast cancer.
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Ooops! WTF is she doing in an ad for online virtual world dating?
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When what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, then you are truly....
brokencameo, that is definitely food for thought right there. I try not to think about it too much because it is frustrating! LOL!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
no no
d listed recipie:
2 cups all CAPS rants
1 liter of cum farts
2 teaspoons of trolls
all dusted with a slight sprinkle of cyanide
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When what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, then you are truly....
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:15pm.
ok....the weirdest shit happened to me this weekend. I went to the beach in Cali, met up with some people, one thing led to another and we ended up hundreds of miles away from civilization out in the middle of the desert. What I was doing out there I will NEVER say on here, but the weird part is that every hour almost on the hour a effing police would pull up to us or pull us over and want start a convo with us. I dont think theres as many police in the big city as it is out there in the middle of nowhere, I was like..wtf, are we neat area 51 or something....so crazy...
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Joshua Tree?
Shrooming + acid?
So my sister had her bachlorette party this weekend and like a normal person trying to park in the city I opt for a garage/valet shit at the hotel.
I come back to the hotel at 12:30am and ask for my car, he brings it around and tells me to pay at the front desk so I do. Then I come out to my car and THE FUCKIN ASSHOLES HAD CRASHED MY CAR AND NO ONE WAS GONNA SAY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I am stuck with a busted ass Infiniti which is for sale and no one will buy cuz its banged the fuck up AND THE FUCKIN CLAIMS DEPARTMENT OF THE PARKING GARAGE WILL NOT CALL ME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY STILL CHARGED ME $60 FOR PARKING!!!!!!!!! I am so fuckin livid right now I cant even. Their ONLY job is to park fuckin cars, now my beautiful black car has red paint all over it, huge dent in the rear passenger side quarter panel, extensive scratches and bumper damage. It looks like I played fuckin bumper cars with my car. Unfuckinbelievable.
Well, I'm outtie for an hour to run a few errands. I'll trust you all to carry on without me (see how you are).
BBL
Hold on, all this talk about animals and marriage... Has anyone read "Wicked?" If I remember correctly, isn't one of the main story lines about animals receiving the same rights as humans?
Or am I confusing my books again?
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:21pm.
I know you bitches see that ad off to the side for uthervrse or whatever it is. WOW! That lady looks like a mean as principal I had growing up as a child.
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That's "Carmella" from the Sopranos. She had breast cancer.
What a precious doggy!!! Too cute!
Event Horizon: Nurse Jackie needs to give that bitch a shot!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:20pm.
Dlisted Stew, Revised Recipe:
One pound chicken cutlets marinated in bug spray
Six cups crumbled cheetoes
One gallon panty pudding
Dash of butthole bleach
Four teaspoons of mom jean shavings
Sprinkle of Stains' drool
Squirt of jizz from random hooker
Three plucked eyebrow hairs of Susan Boyle
Four inch Wino leg scab
Eight tablespoons of loon tears
Mix all ingredients together and microwave for two hours for maximum consistency.
Serve warm inside rusty tennis cans or sock slots with side of green beans.
Variations encouraged.
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Plus two tbsp of crushed rojo caliente
Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:15pm.
gay marriage isnt so tough of an argument. Just state what year it is and 'Come on people!!' and that usually wins the argument.
Its what cris columbus did when everyone thought the world was flat.."its 1492!! Come on people!!!" the queen gave him the cash to sail and the rest is history.
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
JillyPoo on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:20pm
Hey, my two plants that died early last year came back this year, I was excited!
NO SHAME!
TEAM GARDEN DORKS!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:05pm.
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Did he know it was your birthday??
I know you bitches see that ad off to the side for uthervrse or whatever it is. WOW! That lady looks like a mean as principal I had growing up as a child. She just looks hateful for some reason and I love how they show someone who would never get her choice of men in the bar scene, pretending to be hot in an avatar....and whats the first thing she does when she becomes make believe hot in the web universe....shes nasty to other avatars who try to pick up on her who she deems not to be as hot as her avatar "you wish" "in your dreams"....bitch please. Do you like it when people judge you on your looks like that IRL "jennifer"? Why does that ad make me sooo mad?
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When what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, then you are truly....
Smurfy, have one of my stuffed potatoes. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face and cellulite in your thighs!
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
Dlisted Stew, Revised Recipe:
One pound chicken cutlets marinated in bug spray
Six cups crumbled cheetoes
One gallon panty pudding
Dash of butthole bleach
Four teaspoons of mom jean shavings
Sprinkle of Stains' drool
Squirt of jizz from random hooker
Three plucked eyebrow hairs of Susan Boyle
Four inch Wino leg scab
Eight tablespoons of loon tears
Mix all ingredients together and microwave for two hours for maximum consistency.
Serve warm inside rusty tennis cans or sock slots with side of green beans.
Variations encouraged.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:07pm.
I have fuchsias hanging up chez moi. They're gorgeous! Now if my sweet potato vines would start growing....
Last year the BF uprooted some bulbs that had been planted by the previous owner, and he replanted them in different areas of the garden. We couldn't figure out what the hell this one bulb was (looked like an artichoke), so we've been waiting in suspense. Turns out it's an Asiatic lily. AND it's ORANGE, my favorite color! It's kind pathetic how excited I am :)
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Submitted by brokencameo on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:16pm.
IT MAKES ME MAD THAT JOHNNY DEPP PROBABLY MASTURBATES. WHEN I MASTURBATE, I'M JUST HAVING SEX WITH ME. WHEN HE MASTURBATES, HE'S STILL HAVING SEX WITH JOHNNY DEPP.
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Dude, that was fucking self-love SHAKESPEARE.
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Imma have cake and Imma eat it, too... and I don' even like cake!
i would legally adopt my dog though.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
HAPPEH SLUTTYDAY TO SMURF!!!!
I'll make cupcakes.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:13pm.
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We were roommates back in the day. And NO shit- we had this conversation TWELVE years ago.
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Imma have cake and Imma eat it, too... and I don' even like cake!
El B, Richard Gere knows all about hamster lovin'! LOL!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
Submitted by No Words on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:15pm.
Got it, Sugaroo!
Sounds great...my fam might even be getting this tonight.
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Have at it! If you add the meats, it's a one dish meal!
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
christine the hoff on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:12pm
I wish they would bloom all season.
I'm still waiting for the Spirea to bloom so I can hack those fuckers back, they are out of control.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
IT MAKES ME MAD THAT JOHNNY DEPP PROBABLY MASTURBATES. WHEN I MASTURBATE, I'M JUST HAVING SEX WITH ME. WHEN HE MASTURBATES, HE'S STILL HAVING SEX WITH JOHNNY DEPP.
Submitted by paris herpes on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:13pm.
smurf, happy birthday ta you! did you get drunk or what?!
Yes, Indeed I did! it wa son my boss tab so it was even better.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
HB Smurf!
serve the stew in TENNISCANS
Animal sex, stew, gardens and birthdays and asshole co-workers.
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Fucka doodle-do.
louise- My bitchass told her that, too. And apparently it didn't go over too well.
ARGH! I'm just wondering who she's turning to now that her big, bad best friend was such a meanie.
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Imma have cake and Imma eat it, too... and I don' even like cake!
Submitted by quesadilla on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 1:57pm.
OPEN POST!!!
Cute dog, now bare with me sluts.
The ruling on Prop 8 got me thinking about some of the arguments used to justify second class citizenship.
So, here is a question for all of you.
If animals evolved to match human intelligence and were tax paying citizens who understood and willingly consented to marriage (animal with animal or animal with human), would you be for it or against
CHARLES MANSON
ANIMALS WOULD NEVER HAVE THE LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE TO ELEVATE THEMSELVES TO THE CRANIAL CAPACITY OF COMMITMENT THAT IS MARRIAGE. BUT I ALSO UNDERSTAND YOU SAID "IF". THE WHOLE GAY MARRIAGE CONTROVERSY IS A VERY TUFF AGRUEMENT. I CAN SEE AN EXCELLENT ARGUEMENT FOR BOTH SIDES. MARRIAGE ISNT JUST A PIECE OF PAPER. MOST SUCCESSFULLY COMITTED MARRIED PEOPLE VIEW IT MORE AS A SOCIAL AND RELIGIOUS DECLARATION OF DEVOTION THAT HAS BEEN BETWEEN A MAN AND WOMAN SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. ITS THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD. BUT AT THE SAME TIME OUR WORLD HAS BECOME A LOT MORE PROGRESSIVE RECENTLY AND HOMOSEXUALITY SHOULD NO LONGER BE VIEWED AS WRONG. ITS BEEN CLOSE TO PROVEN MOST HOMOSEXUALS HAVE BEEN SO FOR THEIR LIFETIME AND ITS A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP THAT IS REALLY NO DIFFERENT FROM ANY HETROSEXUAL ONE. SO YES, THEY SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO MARRY. BUT I FUCKING HOPE THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE IN FOR AND THERE ISNT A MAD RUSH TO DO IT JUST BECAUSE ITS LEGAL. ONCE YOU SAY I DO THATS WHO YOU ARE LOOKING AT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIVORCE AND THAT CAN BE A REAL HEART WRENCHING EXPERIENCE.
Got it, Sugaroo!
Sounds great...my fam might even be getting this tonight.
ok....the weirdest shit happened to me this weekend. I went to the beach in Cali, met up with some people, one thing led to another and we ended up hundreds of miles away from civilization out in the middle of the desert. What I was doing out there I will NEVER say on here, but the weird part is that every hour almost on the hour a effing police would pull up to us or pull us over and want start a convo with us. I dont think theres as many police in the big city as it is out there in the middle of nowhere, I was like..wtf, are we neat area 51 or something....so crazy...
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When what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, then you are truly....
I'm sorry Smurfy! ♥♥♥♥
Come on let's sing!
"All The Single Ladies...."
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
Submitted by KD on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:12pm.
smurf- I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out. Hopefully it didn't completely ruin your birthday though?
It kind of did, but I'll be fine.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:11pm.
stoney: I like my stew with a side dish of GREEN BEANS!
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GREEN PEENS?
smurf, happy birthday ta you! did you get drunk or what?!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
Damn, gardening and animal sex! What an Open Post! Making love to a Hamster on a bed of roses, mmmmmmmmmmmm.
Jill, that sounds perfect! Add whatever you like. We'll just microwave it over again.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Smurfy, sorry to hear about your man. ♥♥♥♥♥
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:11pm.
Sugaroo you bitch!
I'm off white carbs and reading that shit just made me get reallllll hongray!
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For these, you must cook. They are sooooooo good!
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 1:58pm.
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I knew a crazy person like that. At a certain point, I called her out and basically jumped off her crazy-train, crazy-go-'round. These people LIVE to be victims, to find someone to confide their b.s. to and to get shat on. This is a pattern for her right? I betcha there are at least 10 people who came before you with this "friend." Just put it out of your mind and fuggetabout it. You did your civic duty.
And just yesterday I was sayin I don't want to get pregnant because I'd get fat. Yes, I'm that superficial.
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:11pm.
Flatsy on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:08pm
the one I had at my old house bloomed again in july, how cool was that.. well, not so much now, but still.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Oops. Sorry Stoney, I didn't seen dat.
smurf- I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out. Hopefully it didn't completely ruin your birthday though?
Jilly- Word. I think that's it. But I don't know how much sympathy she's getting since the whole thing kind of started because she overheard her mom talking to her SIL on the phone about how lazy and moochy she is. But it's easier to be the downtrodden woe-is-me heffa than to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and STFU and act.
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Imma have cake and Imma eat it, too... and I don' even like cake!
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:05pm.
oh no! that sucks.
but obviously he didn't know what a good thing he and didn't deserve you.
Now go get shit faced with your girls!
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'