Wednesday, May 27th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Workout Dog
Watch this dog do more exercise in 30 seconds than I have done all year. Seriously, if I did that many squats I'd black out and wake up minutes later with defibrillator peddles on my chest.
VIA Buzzfeed
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I wanna work in M.Es orifice.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:55pm.
Nah, it was a horrible Hollywood gossip about Richard Gere putting a gerbil up his Pootube and it got stuck, had to go to the hospital. Just like Marc Almond had his stomach pumped of 6 pints of sperm, 6 PINTS! Spread like Wildfire. Hahahahahaha
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I had heard something similar to that, but instead of Marc Almond it was Rod Stewart getting his stomach pumped.
Oh, yeah, ME, I read that and my first impression was "Dang, how does she get paid $35/hr to be a bookkeeper?" I could totally do that. Let me know when the position is open. :D
Submitted by CRAZY on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:54pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:49pm.
@paris herpes- whos the lizard king?
@KD-I refuse to say what I was doing for fear that the opinion you whores have of me will change entirely...
Ok so it was an Orgy and the cop ended up joining in! No judgement here!!!
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Seriously, I was getting hella creepy vibes from one of the officers.
I became very aware of how far from civilization we were at that time and scenes of the hills have eyes started playing through my mind...
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When what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, then you are truly....
snowy - I put it on a spead sheet and presented it to my boss, who is going to discuss with the owner.
SHe averages about 5 1/2 - 6 hours a day, and she is scheduled 4 days a week. But rarely works it.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 3:02pm.
You're a stay at home mom, but you aren't married?
________________________
SAHBM, or Stay at Home Baby Momma. Not to be confused with SAHSM (Stay at home Single Mom).
I wanna work at M.E.'s office.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 3:04pm.
snowy - it was about my bookkeeper. I've tracked her hours for the last 3 weeks and she has overpaid herself for 15 hours in the last three weeks. That is $500.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I wanna make $35 per hour!
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
Submitted by KD on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 3:04pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:49pm.
@KD-I refuse to say what I was doing for fear that the opinion you whores have of me will change entirely...
_______________________-
You mean it would be worse than the opinion they (we) have of you already??? Hm.
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LOL.
angie c - what part of the country are you from?
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She's flat and that's that!
M.E. daaaaamn , that's some shady shit, did you call her out on it? i remember you bitching about her before I think...
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Submitted by KD on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 3:04pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:49pm.
@paris herpes- whos the lizard king?
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The original "lizard king" was Jim Morrison!
I rule!
Shit I waited all afternoon for that beer can guy's dick to load and it wasn't even that spectacular.
Lizard King = Jim Morrison.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:56pm.
I think some people actually do put rodents in their asshole. Don't ask me why.
To eat the dingleberries. May be wrong.
snowy - it was about my bookkeeper. I've tracked her hours for the last 3 weeks and she has overpaid herself for 15 hours in the last three weeks. That is $500.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:49pm.
@paris herpes- whos the lizard king?
@KD-I refuse to say what I was doing for fear that the opinion you whores have of me will change entirely...
_______________________-
You mean it would be worse than the opinion they (we) have of you already??? Hm.
Submitted by michelleb on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 3:01pm.
I don't know either? It's a common plastic surgery choice now! I guess it's makes a woman a better person if her ginormous titays are natural!!!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Submitted by KD on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:33pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:21pm
That ad bugs me, too, because of that, and because it is like it's on here to target 44YO single moms, because, of course, WE are all 44YO single moms with no life, right?
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Oh they're totally using targeting marketing.
So is everyone on here a desperate, deluded, hateful biotch who just needs any kind of outlet they can find to be hateful to others...be it in real life or in a virtual world?
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When what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, then you are truly....
You're a stay at home mom, but you aren't married?
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:49pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:45pm.
Well it's like this diamond. Back in the Lady Gaga thread, our mom friend angie got her panties in a wad because we were trashing the caca freak, then told us all how much her husband makes and that she doesn't contribute to her 401k right now because she's unemployed but she still contributes to the IRA (thank GOD), and that she's very happy and knocked up, and about to make pea soup for her little angel who had just woken up from a nap, whom I immediately labelled as a short bus ridin chest-slappin unibrow haver. Then she posted the pea soup recipe and that's where the dlisted stew idea originated.
*hikes up mom jeans*
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Damn. And then all of a sudden she pops in to rant totally out of context? LOL.
I am sure noone gives a rat's a$$, but I want to vent because this day sucks. I am moving in two weeks and moving sux balls.
Also I was just looking at the cover run down thing on Jezebel and it was showing some bad plastic boobies and I read that Aubrey Hoday claims her boobies are au naturale. Why do hos lie about their fake boobs. I don't care is people have fake boobs, it's their body. But why lie about it? I feel bad for all the flat chested teen girls out there that are holding out hope of growing DD's overnight because they believe that crap.
*rolls eyes*
Fine, you're a "stay at home mom", HAPPY NOW?
LOL
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I rea the first page of comments and my head is swimmimg..............so confused!
Happy Birthday Smurfy!
Stoney, you are on a roll not a bagel, but a roll today! LOL!
Bitchette and Flatsy, I watched that New Jersey shit last night and thought, good gawd these women are really screwed up!
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:49pm.
LOL louise, I was making reference to an earlier dlisted rumble....
```
In that case, I still stand by my assessment as lentil as the snooty soup.
rant:
OKAY, WTF IS UP WITH DERMATOLOGISTS? NO NEW PATIENT OPENINGS UNTIL NOVEMBER? WTFWTFWTF! AREN'T WE IN A DAMN RECESSION!
(I have no idea what the recession has to do with this, but what the hell.)
DAAAAMMMMMMITT!
&&&
For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
Im to fat and preggers to hike up my mom jeans. I am not unemployed thank you, just a stay at home mom. I only said how much my $$$ my bf made cause that craceee Kacky ho was all.... I make so much money I'm so cool I'm 50 years old and have five kids and my kids are intellectually superior, I don't ride the metro like the rest of you etc_ like whatever. I was just trying to make the point that Caca is where she is for a reason. and she has a big fat butt which i love
I think some people actually do put rodents in their asshole. Don't ask me why.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
@ Stoney
ROTFLMAO You should write Cliff's Notes.
Submitted by CRAZY on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:51pm.
Bahahahaha!
No seriously that shit is real???
Nah, it was a horrible Hollywood gossip about Richard Gere putting a gerbil up his Pootube and it got stuck, had to go to the hospital. Just like Marc Almond had his stomach pumped of 6 pints of sperm, 6 PINTS! Spread like Wildfire. Hahahahahaha
Submitted by CRAZY on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:54pm
i would not be surprised by that. that wouldn't change my opinion, that fits in very well with it.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:53pm.
It was Richard Gere who had the ass gerbil, right?
Is that a metaphor or does a gerbil really go in an ass?
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:53pm.
It was Richard Gere who had the ass gerbil, right?
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did he really? i never quite got that story.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
M.E. can you bump it or repost, I am too lazy to go looking for it....;P
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:49pm.
@paris herpes- whos the lizard king?
@KD-I refuse to say what I was doing for fear that the opinion you whores have of me will change entirely...
Ok so it was an Orgy and the cop ended up joining in! No judgement here!!!
***********************
Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
It was Richard Gere who had the ass gerbil, right?
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
LOL why are Asian pets so much cooler than ours? those cats and now this dawg.i'm off to japan to adopt me a pet.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Bahahahaha!
No seriously that shit is real???
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
None of my horz saw my post. WHAHHHH!
LMAO @ ELB! ♥♥♥♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:46pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:44pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:38pm.
Submitted by bitchette on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:31pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:24pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:15pm.
Joshua Tree?
Shrooming + acid?
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snorting mescaline out of the letters in a license plate????
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Oh it was much more fun than that....life changing almost.
OH DON'T TELL ME I MISSED CHOKEFEST 2009 THIS YEAR!!!!! DAMN!
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Hey, you gotta show up early if you plan to get down!
Uggghh...whyd you bring him up....now im just gonna get sad thinking about him...
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I know! I know! You had anl sx?
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omg- you are the pioneer of animal/human relationships?????
we will all be excited to hear of your upcoming nuptials.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:45pm.
Well it's like this diamond. Back in the Lady Gaga thread, our mom friend angie got her panties in a wad because we were trashing the caca freak, then told us all how much her husband makes and that she doesn't contribute to her 401k right now because she's unemployed but she still contributes to the IRA (thank GOD), and that she's very happy and knocked up, and about to make pea soup for her little angel who had just woken up from a nap, whom I immediately labelled as a short bus ridin chest-slappin unibrow haver. Then she posted the pea soup recipe and that's where the dlisted stew idea originated.
*hikes up mom jeans*
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
LOL louise, I was making reference to an earlier dlisted rumble....
Is Event Horizon really La Kuka now? I am so bloody confused!
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Submitted by CRAZY on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:47pm.
Ok the whole gerbils in the ass for pleasure thing,where did it come from and who did it first????????
England and me.
@paris herpes- whos the lizard king?
@KD-I refuse to say what I was doing for fear that the opinion you whores have of me will change entirely...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, then you are truly....
well stoney yer gonna haffa wait till tommorrow for my uni-avie, cause like I said... I'm new to this biddness, but it is good free entertainment.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:20pm.
Dlisted Stew, Revised Recipe:
One pound chicken cutlets marinated in bug spray
Six cups crumbled cheetoes
MANSON ROAST BEEF DINNER
LARGE TOP ROUND STANDING ROAST
SIMMER A HAMHOCK FOR ABOUT 5 HOURS AHEAD OF TIME
CUT OFF THREADS
WASH
DONT TRIM FAT
A SMALL SPRINKELING OF SALT AND PEPPER
STAB ABOUT 20 TIMES
INSERT MINCED GARLIC AND ROSEMARY AND TYME
INTO THE STAB SLOTS
WASH BABY RED POTATOES AND CARROTS
COMBINE IN A SHALLOW PAN AND BAKE AT 325 FOR 2 HOURS
REMOVE DRIPPINGS AND ADD SOME FLOUR TO THICKEN UP
AND STIR AROUND YOUR HAMHOCK IN THE GRAVY.
CUT YOUR BEEF HOW YOU WANT BUT SLIGHTLY MASH YOUR
BABY REDS AND ADD SOME HAMHOCK FLAVOR GRAVEY OVER THEM.
A LITTLE BIT OF DILUTED BROWN SUGAR CAN BE ADDED TO THE BABY CARROTS WHILE THEY ARE COOKING IF YOU HAVE A SWEET TOOTH
VERY LITTLE ROSEMARY AND THYME. THOSE ARE STRONG SPICES.
Ok the whole gerbils in the ass for pleasure thing,where did it come from and who did it first????????
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:44pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:38pm.
Submitted by bitchette on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:31pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:24pm.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:15pm.
ok....the weirdest shit happened to me this weekend. I went to the beach in Cali, met up with some people, one thing led to another and we ended up hundreds of miles away from civilization out in the middle of the desert. What I was doing out there I will NEVER say on here, but the weird part is that every hour almost on the hour a effing police would pull up to us or pull us over and want start a convo with us. I dont think theres as many police in the big city as it is out there in the middle of nowhere, I was like..wtf, are we neat area 51 or something....so crazy...
--------------------
Joshua Tree?
Shrooming + acid?
--------------------
snorting mescaline out of the letters in a license plate????
-------------------------
Oh it was much more fun than that....life changing almost.
OH DON'T TELL ME I MISSED CHOKEFEST 2009 THIS YEAR!!!!! DAMN!
_____________________________________________
Hey, you gotta show up early if you plan to get down!
Uggghh...whyd you bring him up....now im just gonna get sad thinking about him...
--------------------------
I know! I know! You had anl sx?
Submitted by angie c on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:42pm.
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What are you talking about?