Is Kief Off The Hook?
Good news for Pirate Kiefer! Bad new for Christmas trees. Kiefer Sutherland might not have to go to the clink for bringing down his mighty head on a trick's nose! In case you smoked up the part of your brain that held this insignificant information, let me give you the quick fire version. At a party earlier this month, Kiefer headbutted Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough in defense of Brooke Shields. Kief thought Jack knocked Brooke over. She later denied it. Then she later admitted. Blahs. Blahs. Blahs.
Well, Kiefer frolicked on over to Jack's side and made pretty with him. Now they are the bestest friends ever! They went out and bought a split "Best Friends" pendant. They made each other friendship bracelets. And they even bought a star together and named it "CoKi" in honor of their beautiful new friendship. No, that didn't happen, but they did make-up. Kief's rep said that he is sowwy about what happened and wishes Jack well. Because Kief apologized, Jack will no longer testify.
Since there is no complaining witness anymore, the prosecution's case against Kief isn't very strong. This means it's likely that he will get to skip away without being prosecuted!
Hopefully, Kief finally learns his lesson. You can't just go around headbutting bitches. You have to ask first! You have to get permission to headbutt. You know, if Kief came up to me in a bar and politely asked if he could headbutt me, I'd probably say yes. Well, first I'd wonder if he was asking me to do some kind of kinky (and potentially really painful) sex act. Then I'd examine the size of his head. Then I'd wonder what kind of lube we should use. Then I'd definitely say sí!
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Your quotes and I would have thought the same thing
" Hopefully, Kief finally learns his lesson. You can't just go around headbutting bitches. You have to ask first! You have to get permission to headbutt. You know, if Kief came up to me in a bar and politely asked if he could headbutt me, I'd probably say yes. Well, first I'd wonder if he was asking me to do some kind of kinky (and potentially really painful) sex act. Then I'd examine the size of his head. Then I'd wonder what kind of lube we should use. Then I'd definitely say sí!"
Holy SHIT - We has Kweefer at Vons this morning.
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Thank god this whole ordeal is over! Now I won't have to waste any more eyeball manna reading this shit. Let's just take for granted that Keifer Sutherland probably gets in a bar fight every fucking day because that's all he does with his life and just move on. No one needs to report it anymore.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
COME AT ME, BITCH!
jack there has a terrible case of nose cock.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Submitted by Newportjoey on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 8:08am.
Is that Richard Dean Anderson in your avie? *drools*
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Dick happens! - MK
Team Kiefer!
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Dick happens! - MK
Mrs. Kravitz and I approve of out of court settlements.
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
KS seems like the kind of guy that would kick a puppy or shake a baby. Just doesn't do it for me. The other one just seems douchey.
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Kiefer's off the hook! Good, now bring on 24, season 8. This past season was amazing!!!
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 2:14am.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 2:09am.
if?
He does seem to have a head like a coconut... you can't put a dent in it. AND it's full of cocktails!
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LOL. Somehow you make it sound exciting!
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 2:09am.
if?
He does seem to have a head like a coconut... you can't put a dent in it. AND it's full of cocktails!
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 2:09am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 2:05am.
I still think that given the size of his huge head, he should've been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
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What if it's empty? Do you think it hurts as much as getting headbutted by say an Albert Einstein sort?
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It at least counts as a blunt object.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 2:05am.
I still think that given the size of his huge head, he should've been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
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What if it's empty? Do you think it hurts as much as getting headbutted by say an Albert Einstein sort?
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
I still think that given the size of his huge head, he should've been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 1:54am.
That's right Nitty, Wino is the gift that just keeps giving (but I do loves her, the bloody skank). . hehe.
And fanks!
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 1:49am.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 1:48am.
Worse headbutt, Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer?
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Wino
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Yeah, but that's only cuz you have to be treated by Hazmat after a run in w/her. And KUDOS to ur loverly Avi...BWHahahahahaaa
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 1:48am.
Worse headbutt, Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer?
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Wino
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
Worse headbutt, Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer?
_______________________________________________________
Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
That guy was lying about the extent of his injury anyway. His nose was NOT broken in three places. I've seen broken noses and your eyes both go black. bigtime. His face didn't have a bruise anywhere on it. Lying suck just wanted attention.
Team Kiefer forever.
I would let him do the dirtiest shit to me.
Always on TEAM KIEFER!!!
::"You backstabbing two-timing scallywag! And as God as my witness, I will never shampoo your hair again!" - Blanche Deveraux::
Ok, that was good, but i still don't get what happened. Did the designer knock down or jostle brooke and not apologize? did he do something else? did keifer totally overreact or take down an arrogant ass?
why do i care?
"Well, Kiefer frolicked on over to Jack's side and made pretty with him. Now they are the bestest friends ever! They went out and bought a split "Best Friends" pendant. They made each other friendship bracelets. And they even bought a star together and named it "CoKi" in honor of their beautiful new friendship."
what a snorg
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
I've seen his "acting", he still owes a huge debt to society. And to his last name.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Proenza's designs are shite...TEAM KIEFER
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 8:25pm.
Payoff! Perverting the course of justice!
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Cash is good.
More like TEAM QUEEFER.
Cash was involved. How could it not be?
If I were Jack I will demand Cold Cash in 7 Golden Figures!!! ( I think he did ).
Suck Kiefer with his 24 money, and ask fellow designers not to design for Brooke Sheilds anymore.....LOL!
small fingers = small, er, carrot
the organic gardner part I just threw in there. Meh.
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"I took your cat. He lives with me now. The cat no longer likes you and The cat and I have become close friends." Criss Angel
Submitted by snarkolepsy on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 9:15pm.
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 9:12pm.
TEAM KIEFER!!!!!!!!!
Well okay, if you're an organic gardener who loves baby carrots. ;-)
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Call me slow, don't get it?!
TEAM KIEFER!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 9:12pm.
TEAM KIEFER!!!!!!!!!
Well okay, if you're an organic gardener who loves baby carrots. ;-)
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"I took your cat. He lives with me now. The cat no longer likes you and The cat and I have become close friends." Criss Angel
TEAM KIEFER!!!!!!!!!
Where is CRAZY? She is on TEAM KIEFER too.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Kief has little bitty troll fingers. Jack has big boy fingers.
You know what that means.
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"I took your cat. He lives with me now. The cat no longer likes you and The cat and I have become close friends." Criss Angel
I love that he posts the xmas tree vid every time there's a keifer story. LOLOL
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"I'm not a victim, I'm a slut" - overheard in a park.
Payoff! Perverting the course of justice!
Just glad Proenza Schouler is still opperating. Fucking Keifer.
Pay off.
-Einah
I'd hit that.. either one. I'm easy.