Tales From The Cunt
When Oprah was going to be on the cover of Vogue 10 years ago, Anna Wintour jump-started her broom and flew over to Chicago for a little chat. A chat about FAT to be exact.
In an unaired segment from her 60 Minutes interview from last Sunday, Anna said that she had to tell The Mighty O know that her ass was just way too chunkyfied for Vogue. Anna laughed about it, "It was a very gentle suggestion. I went to Chicago to visit Oprah, and I suggested that it might be an idea that she lose a little bit of weight. I said simply that you might feel more comfortable. She was a trooper! She totally welcomed the idea, and she went on a very stringent diet. And it was one of our most successful covers ever."
Only this crypt-keeping cunt could tell Oprah that she needed to drop some fat! I'm surprised everyone in the room didn't shrivel down into little guppies, because they were so afraid of how Oprah was going to react. You know Gayle King probably jumped out the window, because she knew Oprah would take it out on her coochie later on. Oprah put a little bob wig on Gayle's vagina and went at it! Poor thing hasn't been the same since.
I'm surprised Anna just didn't pounce on Oprah and devour her soul in one bite. Oprah could've lost at least 100lbs in seconds.
Anna also continued to offend in a LOLway by saying Minnesota is the land of fatty fatty bo batties who look like little houses, "I'd just been on a trip to Minnesota, where I can only kindly describe most of the people I saw as little houses. There's such an epidemic of obesity in the United States, and for some reason, everybody focuses on anorexia. We need to spend money time and education on teaching people to eat, exercise and take care of themselves in a healthier way. It has gotten people provoked, which is really the point."
Um. Anna, please don't eat my soul, but somebody needs to teach you to eat REAL FOOD period! And I've never been to Minnesota, but it sounds pretty fucking charming. I mean, cute little houses walking around? That's cute! Too bad one of those houses didn't fall on the Wicked Witch of Vogue.
Wake me when Anna takes her comedy act on the road! Bitch knows how to bring the laughs.
VIA UsWeekly
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Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:17am.
Anna couldn't just tell Oprah she's fat over the phone, she had to fly there?
Anna must like to live on the edge, she's lucky Okra didn't sit on her.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Nanners on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:22am
*fist bump* Word.
I just got back my fashion channel on cable, I watched all the shows for Fall/Winter and some of those girls, who are not that ano looking are friggin' beautiful.
I don't buy, flip through, wipe my ass with any alleged fashion Mag anymore. Not even the high holy Fall Issues.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Notoriousrem_22 WORDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
Fucking Anna-rexic Wintour couldn't have just photoshopped Oprah-she had to tell her how fat she was anyway??? Nice job of making someone who obviously has eating issues of her own, feel even worse about herself. Bitch.
i don't care anymore!
i don't give a shit about oprah, and vogue has become redundant. i like the photography, but thats the only worthwhile thing.
like LA said- make it about fashion again!!! no more celebs on covers
and oprah was fat- it's vogue! can't have fatties on the cover tsk tsk.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Anna is ick nast. she could stand to lose a few from her ego.
Submitted by Notoriousrem_22 on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:22am.
And if you think this is harsh try to move to a country with universal health care, if you are fat they will not let you in.
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Example? I'm a citizen of two universal health care countries and there are fat people in them both.
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I'm pinching yo nipples.
Well, I live in Minneapolis (MN), and there are plenty of fat people - and plenty of thin, fit people. Uh, like every state??? I was just in NYC this past weekend, and saw a ton of fat people, so it's not like this is just a Midwest problem. (I know she wasn't saying that, but dang - when she singles out Minnesota, I feel defensive because I love my state!)
oops dbl post
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:12am.
Dear Anna,
HOW ABOUT PUTTING FUCKING MODELS BACK ON COVERS!?
CELEBRITIES ARE NOT MODELS!!!
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A-FUCKING-MEN!! Let the models model and the actresses "act". I'm more likely to buy a magazine with an anonymous model on the cover rather than an actress I hate trying to promote her latest movie.
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I'm pinching yo nipples.
If people want to be fat, let them be fat, as long as I'm not, I don't care about the rest of the country. It's their own business and not mine.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
America is a disgusting place. And to be honest the younger generation (Y/Z who the fuck knows) is REPULSIVE. How come EVERY teenager and pre teen is fat? How the fuck does that happen? Cuz in the 80s and 90s there were like 2 fat kids in my school. Now everywhere I turn I see FAT, FAT adults, FAT kids, FAT teenagers, FAT personal trainers I mean seriously WTF is the problem?!? In the country we have the money, the time and the education to know right from wrong. It all boils down to this society being a bunch of LAZY PIGS, nothing more to it. Too lazy to work to pay mortgages and credit card bills and too busy to eat healthy instead of eating meat and burgers and fried processed shit. Shit makes NO SENSE the only logical explanation for the ways of American Society is LAZINESS pure LAZINESS. This world recession is our fault cuz of LAZINESS and the fact that this country is so fuckin obese is only fuckin our chances at universal health care. You cannot have universal health care in a nation that is 60% obese and 80% over weight, hospitals and doctors would go out of business. There should be stipulations on weight and there should be punishments enforced. Every time a teacher sees a fat kid they should report it so the parents get charged with child abuse. Diabetic kids are NOT the norm, its child abuse. Plain and simple. And if you think this is harsh try to move to a country with universal health care, if you are fat they will not let you in. Thats the truth.
I wonder if people openly busted out laughing when they saw that cover. Who the eff is THAT supposed to be, 'cause it ain't Queen O.
Anna couldn't just tell Oprah she's fat over the phone, she had to fly there?
This bitch isnt discussing about healthy problems, she doesnt care at all. She is just making clear that in her magazine has no space for someone havier than her. Just someone with a huge ego and low self-esteem as Oprah to accept it as a compliment.
I agree this country has serious issues, childhood obesity is now as common as weeds.
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Fucka doodle-do.
i used to deliver food to anna when i worked at pastis. She is such a trip. She orders the same shit every sunday. Steak, black and blue, with green beans. When she ordered we all had to drop what we were doing and sprint as fast as we could to her place on sullivan st. She always tipped 20 bucks though, so bless her soul
chao
Dear Anna,
HOW ABOUT PUTTING FUCKING MODELS BACK ON COVERS!?
CELEBRITIES ARE NOT MODELS!!!
IT MAKES ALL THOSE MAGAZINES LOOK LIKE TABLOIDS!!!
BRING FUCKING FASHION BACK!!!
*side eyes "W" and the rest*
Dear Okra,
JUST STOP, GO AWAY, EAT A HAM! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
she looks drawn from scratch using photoshop
when is anna wincunt gone from vogue already?
Don't like Anna Wintour and don't read Vogue, BUT ... I agree with her. Too many fat ass Americans walking around. We are a fat country. This country needs to stop treating eating like it is a sport. Eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full. Lower your intake of fat and sugar. And exercise, people! Trust me, it works.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I've lived in Minnesota my entire life; we're more frumpy and passive-aggressive here than (just) fat little houses.
okra's weight see-saws something awful, which is truly unhealthy as it brings on major health problems.
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Fucka doodle-do.
For gawds sake, that isn't even Okra on the cover. She is so Photoshopped, she is unrecognizable. So the point of losing weight was...?
When I travel, I can always tell the people from the Midwest and the South. They are the chunkiest, but they are also the nicest.
Don't even get me started on Anna Wintour.
Submitted by MeowMeow on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 8:57am.
Hey DonkeyPunched...I guess you've spent so much time exercising that you forgot to learn how to fucking spell, you idiotic twat.
Listen, you fucking herpes laden puss wart. I can misspell sometimes, but I can still speak and write in 4 languages. So you can go and kiss your own fat ass.
Here's some dirt on Anna Wintour, from http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/gossip.html:
Name-Anna Wintour
Dirt-likes to fart loudly in Conde Nast bathrooms and then leave without washing hands; mean to assistants and doesn't like underlings to speak to her
It's not much, but...
I just laughed my coffee through my nose. How do you come up with this shiz?! It's dead-on effing hilarious ... BRAVO to your wit and humor. Seriously. Thanks for the laughs, even if it makes my dry-cleaning more expensive.
When I say I am American over here, Europeans tend to not believe me and say things like,
"But you are not fat!"
Americans are getting to big, but we don't need some anorexic bob like Ms. Wintour telling us that.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
That praying mantis is correct. When Dr. Phil came to Detroit, almost everybody in the audience was overweight. Skinny people are very much the minority.
My dad told me as you get older you either shrivel up or blow up. But he meant when you get past age 50, not 12!
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Anna Wintour is notorious for hating fat people, and I love her for it. She doesn't antagonize, but she doesn't mince words or bother with pretenses about 'glandular problems' either. She has quite the pair for telling The O to ditch the chunk. I love that cover, too. I just don't understand why Oprah had to lose weight if Angela Bassett was going to take the photo for her.
Dude. While I agree that to be truly obese is unhealthy, my guess is she is lumping people that may be only twenty pounds over weight, or heck, probably even at a healthy but not fashionable weight in with the truly obese. I have not read vogue in years. I refuse to pay money to be told the I am not good enough but if I starve myself and buy a $3,000 outfit I might be. Bleh.
Lane, I have been going to this high school for 7 years. I'm no dummy.
Damn, now I want some Kraft Mac n Cheese and some brats for the grill with sauerkraut. It's gonna be fart city at the Hudson home in about 2 hours.....
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
I don't like either of these twats, but Anna has a point. Still, "Bitch, Please" should have been a tag, because Wintour licks the dew off grass for sustenance. It's easy to be disinterested in food when you are a raging judgemental stick figure.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Hey DonkeyPunched...I guess you've spent so much time exercising that you forgot to learn how to fucking spell, you idiotic twat.
Submitted by MJF on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 8:51am.
Bitch better step off the land of 10,000 lakes (and 10,000 hot-dish varieties).
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HA! Land O' Lakes!! I don't think that is a coincidence.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
Cunt: all that useless meat that surrounds the pussay.
I'd smother a scrawny bitch who probably hasn't licked more than a piece of iceberg lettuce for thirty years if she told me to lose weight. WITH MY FAT ASS!
"Want some cottage cheese? Here ya go!"
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100% DMBAS
Anna is a witch but Oprah is an egomaniac. Anna tells her to lose some weight so now the world is subjected to magazines with her photoshopped face on them EVERY month! Crazy bitches.
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I'm pinching yo nipples.
What a twat. I feel sorry for her lovely daughter, who's bound to have a myriad of body image issues, not to mention an eating disorder or two.
I wish someone with some gotdamn sense would replace her ugly ass already. Anna Wintour is so 1990. And I don't mean that nicely.
I agree with Wintour that people are to fucking fat!!!
It pisses me off when they make excuses like "It's my metabolism", "hormones", "I was made this way"all the while eating maccaroni and cheese with some mashed potatoes.
Just shut the fuck up, eat less and move more.
Bitch better step off the land of 10,000 lakes (and 10,000 hot-dish varieties). They might all be a little chunky up here, but the VAST majority of them are college-educated and well-rounded (ahem...punny, but it stays) people.
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Step down, Joan Collins.
I LOVE HER.
Okra is looking really fucking rough. All the money in the world and she can't have something done about those suitcases under her eyes?
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Funniest title ever.
Sorry Ms. Wintour... I'm from Minneapolis, MN where we were ranked the 2nd fittest city:
http://www.mensfitness.com/city_rankings/442
And NYC?
http://www.mensfitness.com/city_rankings/444
19th.
We're little houses made of pure raw steel.
Anna Wintour scares me!
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