Tales From The Cunt
When Oprah was going to be on the cover of Vogue 10 years ago, Anna Wintour jump-started her broom and flew over to Chicago for a little chat. A chat about FAT to be exact.
In an unaired segment from her 60 Minutes interview from last Sunday, Anna said that she had to tell The Mighty O know that her ass was just way too chunkyfied for Vogue. Anna laughed about it, "It was a very gentle suggestion. I went to Chicago to visit Oprah, and I suggested that it might be an idea that she lose a little bit of weight. I said simply that you might feel more comfortable. She was a trooper! She totally welcomed the idea, and she went on a very stringent diet. And it was one of our most successful covers ever."
Only this crypt-keeping cunt could tell Oprah that she needed to drop some fat! I'm surprised everyone in the room didn't shrivel down into little guppies, because they were so afraid of how Oprah was going to react. You know Gayle King probably jumped out the window, because she knew Oprah would take it out on her coochie later on. Oprah put a little bob wig on Gayle's vagina and went at it! Poor thing hasn't been the same since.
I'm surprised Anna just didn't pounce on Oprah and devour her soul in one bite. Oprah could've lost at least 100lbs in seconds.
Anna also continued to offend in a LOLway by saying Minnesota is the land of fatty fatty bo batties who look like little houses, "I'd just been on a trip to Minnesota, where I can only kindly describe most of the people I saw as little houses. There's such an epidemic of obesity in the United States, and for some reason, everybody focuses on anorexia. We need to spend money time and education on teaching people to eat, exercise and take care of themselves in a healthier way. It has gotten people provoked, which is really the point."
Um. Anna, please don't eat my soul, but somebody needs to teach you to eat REAL FOOD period! And I've never been to Minnesota, but it sounds pretty fucking charming. I mean, cute little houses walking around? That's cute! Too bad one of those houses didn't fall on the Wicked Witch of Vogue.
Wake me when Anna takes her comedy act on the road! Bitch knows how to bring the laughs.
VIA UsWeekly
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Well, I agree with her and I am glad she has the chochos to say it. I am a normal weight surrounded by overweight people who treat me as if I am the one who is abnormal??
I am sick of this obesity and I will never let my child believe that it is okay to live that way. Would you let your child smoke? It is just as bad to let them be obese...it absolutely destroys their health AND self esteem.
There is a serious problem with reverse discrimination in this country. I never make fun of overweigh people but I have had many, many obese people make comments to me about being anorexic...I am at a very healthy weight of 130 lbs and they say that is anorexic? That is so sad and so wrong. And when did it become okay to say to someone who you barely know that they have a serious disease, just to make you feel better about your own fat ass....I am SICK of it!!!!
I really hope O comes out and says, "Bitch, please. I lost weight because I wanted to, not because your Mr. Burns-in-a-dress looking ass told me to." You know Anna's face hurt for a damn month after cracking that smile.
I fucking hate self-important elitists like Anna Wintour who rip on the midwest. Bitch, you edit a magazine! It's not like you are out there finding the cure for MS or cancer or really doing anything remotely important. Oh, God forbid we aren't immediately informed that it's all about orange this season. This is America and if you want to be fat, be the biggest best fatty you can be, just like Anna is free to be the biggest, twattiest twat on two little twiggy brittle old lady legs.
Yeah, America is just focused on anorexica & not losing weight, that is why I cannot go two steps online without being bombarded by some dumbass diet trick or pill or before & after fatty pics, that is why The Biggest Loser is so popular, must be why there are tons of infomercials for stupid, trendy exercise gadgets, does this bitch watch the news? There is always some crap segment on how huge Americans are & how much garbage we consume...Really, I feel like we pretty much got it covered, some people just dont give a shit about being fatty bo batties & it makes it look like some Americans arent even trying, but I think some of them are...I think she is confusing America with her circle of self obsessed, body conscious, pin thin bitches, they are the ones focused on anorexia, and by that I mean obsessed with being anorexic.
Just as an aside...I was in Boston this weekend & I only saw a couple of fatties who really looked touristy. Mostly everyone walking & shopping, mind you on Newbury St (probably mostly rich people)were normal weight. I am more on the poor side than the rich side & my husband & I always manage to eat healthy. We cant afford a personal trainer, but eating well on a budget isnt that difficult most of the time. Plus you cant afford all the extra bad stuff at the grocery store like chips & desserts. I dont like how fast food places have the $1 menu...That can really encourage someone without willpower & less money to eat crap.
Submitted by gia on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 10:10am.
I agree.
I live in Bosotn, I'm not fat by any means I could loose a couple of pounds, but living here makes me feel obese, Bostonians ar every healt-consious.( for the most part)
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Anna Wintour can stay the eff out of Minnesota if she doesn't like it. We're doing just fine without her approval of our physicalities. Bitch, please. I have snow to shovel.
Anna looks like Skeletor.
I heart Dlisted.
~Zoe
http://www.myspace.com/misszoesimone
"You know Gayle King probably jumped out the window, because she knew Oprah would take it out on her coochie later on. Oprah put a little bob wig on Gayle's vagina and went at it! Poor thing hasn't been the same since."
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I heart you too Michael K! You are the greatest!
That being said, why are we talking about AW? She is a skanky alien bitch who needs to STFU about Americans. She needs to take her silly boring magazine and stick it where the sun don't shine. And Oprah should have farted on her when she had the chance and put AW out of her misery.
Hekki,
It does without question. Studies have proven it to be so.
There is a reason why your bobbies produce the perfect infant food.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 10:02am.
Also, I'm always struck by the fact that the cheapest stuff at the grocery store is often produce. Not meat - that's kind of expensive - but most fruits and vegetables (the exotic stuff excepted). The packaged shit (which I'm sure is loaded with unhealthy stuff) is often really expensive.
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:56am.
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I grew up poor and we always ate healthy. I think that it's just a lack of wanting to do the right thing. Convenience food is abundant and people's resolve to oversimplify their life and not find 20 minutes to throw together a good meal on a daily basis is overrunning the country.
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100% DMBAS
yes dramarama, and they all want to be their kid's best friend instead of the "mean mommy or daddy"
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
One more thing: I can't prove it, but I think infant formula sets children up for obesity later in life.
Flame away.
I actually agree with the bitch. Obesity is a huge problem in the US. It's all the processed crap they force down our throats. Eat a damn apple instead!
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:51am.
Hekki: I also think it has a lot to do with the whole inability to say no to their kids anymore. (which also I think has a lot to do with laziness on the parents part.)
A-FUCKING-MEN! Giving in to your kids all the time turns them into complete brats (my niece is a stellar example of that) & does not prepare them for the real world. Lazy parents are doing not just their children, but the rest of society who has to deal with them, a great disservice.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Submitted by Nanners on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:23am.
Submitted by Notoriousrem_22 on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:22am.
And if you think this is harsh try to move to a country with universal health care, if you are fat they will not let you in.
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Example? I'm a citizen of two universal health care countries and there are fat people in them both.
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I think what he/she is referring to is a story a while back about an obese English woman who was denied landed immigrant status in NZ (think it was NZ?) because of her weight and associated health problems. Don't know if it was ever resolved. So, it's not so much the existing fat citizens as much as it is newcomers who will enter the country and strain (sorry,hahaha) the health care system as obesity-related health problems develop.
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
Okay, one more thing, since this is one of my favorite topics:
It's true that rich people are thinner. My mother sends the kids play clothes from Wal-Mart. The size 6 pants are always falling off my daughter's waist, even the elastic waistbands. But MIL buys them Ralph Lauren and Best & Co. clothes in size 6, and those pants always fit her waist. The expensive clothing is made for thin kids. Wal-Mart clothing is made for fatter kids.
HOWEVER. We were poor growing up. Really poor. But my mom used the WIC coupons at the farmer's market and used the food stamps at the health food store and we always ate healthy. It's not the money, it's CARING and EDUCATING YOURSELF.
I know a very wealthy family whose kids only eat crap food. And we were poor as dirt and eating kale and nut butters and organic eggs.
I think most people know what's healthy. They just don't want to eat it.
This is absolutely true....a few months back I went to Sea World after not going there for years and my brother and I looked at each other like whats up with all these fatties!?!
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
How does Anna Wintour breathe among us normal "fat" people. The world belongs to her and Donatella Versace and her daughter who are size 00.
Gross.
Oprah has enough money to fart out Anna's dinner on a plate if she wanted to.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Good thing Miss Anna hasn't come to Texas. We're a state full of fat asses. I think Houston (we're I'm at) was voted the fattest city at one point. Obsessing about weight is pointless, but most of us do it. It feels better to be thin and in shape, but I'm not gonna kill myself over it. Ok, I will....right after this fried Spam sandwich.
Hekki: I also think it has a lot to do with the whole inability to say no to their kids anymore. (which also I think has a lot to do with laziness on the parents part.)
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
Snowy: HAHA! If Kris wins, I do believe I'll win my AI pool. Yes, I'm a whore -- I sold Glambert out for $$ & the elite status of being the AI pool winner.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
I live in Berlin and it is so rare that I see fat people that when I do, I notice.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Notoriousrem: I agree with you.
When I was younger, there was one fat kid and one hyper kid in the class. Now they're ALL fat and diabetic and ADHD. It's fucking SICK.
I would rather cut off my right arm than my beautiful healthy slender daughters get fat and asthmatic and diabetic. What is WRONG with these parents? I think they don't want to see their children be any better than they are. It's the only explanation. Why else would you let your child get that way?
Submitted by kanderso on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:45am.
When I'm older and the metabolism slows, I'd much rather be 10 or 20 pounds overweight than some obsessive gym skank clinging to my youth by working out and having an internal battle with myself over food every day. That's just sad.
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Slow claps. And before anybody asks, I am 20 pounds overweight, care some days, couldn't give two shits or a piss on others.
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100% DMBAS
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:44am.
DG I had a week off (took a staycation) plus I moved to a different floor at work so I am trying to seem industrious, LOL
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Haha! Staycation! I was getting worried about you, I even dm'd you on *gasp* Twitter.
Glad you are okay!
On Topic- I also have a good idea why people in my red neck part of the woods are thin, and it comes in grams or ounces, white and rhymes with death.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Don't let her near Wisconsin...wasn't it voted fatest state a few months back?
Yet Minneapolis was voted most fit city in the nation by like Mens Fitness or some shit like that.
I'm from Minnesota and I guess we have our fair share of chubbiness, but I agree with MyFingersHurt, what place in this land doesn't have some fatness going on?
Jesus wept MK, I have never quoted you in a post before but...
Oprah put a little bob wig on Gayle's vagina and went at it! Poor thing hasn't been the same since.
My eyes aren't even open, the coffee is still brewing and this made me snort and say Oh Fuck out loud.
I heart you.
Submitted by kanderso on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:45am.
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Amen and Hallelujah.
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It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
OMG drama is such a traitor to Showgirls everywhere!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
So, first a disclaimer: I'm fairly thin due to genetics, and I also love getting outside and biking/hiking/running etc. So I'm left with a thin/athletic build.
HOWEVER, I don't obsess about my weight, I don't own a scale, and I let myself eat lots of healthy foods, and unhealthy foods in (mostly) small proportions. I don't count calories, and I've been on a diet once and failed miserably at it (because, really? who can exist on Slimfast shakes for 2 out of 3 meals? Not me. It lasted 3 days and I never tried it again.)
I hate people who freak out about their bodies one way or another. It is JUST a body. It is important that you keep it relatively healthy for your own physical and mental health, but beyond that, forget about it! It drives me NUTS when people are obsessive about it. You might as well put a placard on your forehead that says "I am a narcissistic, superficial, boring-ass bitch!"
If all you have to dwell on in life is your shell, you must not have much of interest going on.
When I'm older and the metabolism slows, I'd much rather be 10 or 20 pounds overweight than some obsessive gym skank clinging to my youth by working out and having an internal battle with myself over food every day. That's just sad.
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
DG I had a week off (took a staycation) plus I moved to a different floor at work so I am trying to seem industrious, LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
Seeing fat kids pisses me off. My neighbor complains about her kid being kind of chunky, then throws her hands up in the air and says all he'll eat is bread and sausage and junk food.
Really? Because when he's at my house, he eats turkey dogs and PB&J on whole grain bread without a fuss. Methinks it's a control issue and Junior has control. Don't want him to eat it? Don't buy it. This shit is not rocket science.
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100% DMBAS
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:41am.
LOL DG!
How YOU doin'?
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I am well. Where have you been lately? Busy I guess?!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Yep, KY's got fat people galore! Between that, the moonshine, & the tobacco, I don't think any Kentuckians have more than a 25-year life expectancy ...
*coughcough GO KRIS ALLEN!!!! coughcough*
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
LOL DG!
How YOU doin'?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
Hekki it's true, the Bronx is full off fatties, I used to live there, so many of the little kids are fat/diabetic. It says alot about what having money can do for your health.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
Hi Snowy!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
I live in the Midwest, and to be honest, I don't see a lot of fat kids around here. Seriously. Yeah, plenty of fat adults, but the kids are slim, and most in my area are very athletic, prolly cuz they know their only way out of the trailer park is through an athletic Scholarship
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Ha HA Brandi you are spot on with that one!
also
*cough*howcouldyoubesoheartlessLOL*cough*
ADAM GLAMBERT FOR THE SPARKLY WIN!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
I love how these fashion bitches think looking like a holocaust victim is the norm. Like, eating disorderzz r soo hawt!!
Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:34am.
Hehe I thought you'd never ask. You are thin though, right? I don't have pig sex.
No pig sex here, but I do want ice cream afterwards.
The fat people in NYC are either tourists or from the outer boroughs. The majority of people in my building, for example, are thin. My building is 36 floors and I can only think of 10 people who I would consider "fat". There is not ONE fat kid in my daughter's school. You go to the Bronx and see how many fat 4 year olds there are. Plenty.
Hmmmph!
snowpiece on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:34am.
the fat people in NYC are the tourists! LOL
- And the NYPD's finest.
*coughTEAMGLAMBERTcough*
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
"We need to spend money time and education on teaching people to eat, exercise and take care of themselves in a healthier way."
She may be a mega cunt but she's totally right. The fatties are everywhere.
Hey, all you Minnesota natives, my daughter wants me to take her there to go to the Mall of America. I'm all for it, but besides the mall, what else is there to do in that area?
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Hehe I thought you'd never ask. You are thin though, right? I don't have pig sex.
the fat people in NYC are the tourists! LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:29am.
Fat people are worth less than normal people. It's the truth, no matter how much it hurts.
Oh Ricki, just when I think I dont want your ass naked on my bed anymore, you come up with poetry like that. Wanna fuck?
Submitted by MyFingersHurt on Tue, 05/19/2009 - 9:23am.
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I don't live in Minnesota, but I love it. Have visited there many times (Mayo Clinic). Beautiful scenery, clean environment, very nice people...didn't notice the chunk...I thought everyone there was more on the outdoorsy, fit side.
Just my opinion. (-:
Fat people are worth less than normal people. It's the truth, no matter how much it hurts.