Don't Try It, John!
Lord of the Douchebags, John Mayer, left a club in Los Angeles last night with his t-shirt and face covered in lipstick kisses. John joked that he really scored. Yeah, I wouldn't consider going into the bathroom, putting lipstick on your mouth and then kissing your t-shirt all over as "scoring." And because John didn't bring enough dick-baggery to the streets of L.A., he broke out his Jacko moves.
Bitch looked more like Bubbles after having too much Jesus Juice. John really shouldn't have done that, because bitch was upstaged by some ho drunk ass ho in grey! John knew she was taking his sunshine, because he didn't even acknowledge her triflin' ass. The night belonged to HER! Skip to the 0:38 mark in the video below to witness her shameless fuckery:
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This guy is seriously demented. Attention Whores Take Notes! But yes I would still hit it, and fast, or vice versa. But, what if it starts to talk?
Edie said that sometimes the line between the past and present is blurred.(They are both, it has to be said, quite, quite mad.)
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:40pm.
Onward! What kind of fuckery is that tat sleeve? Does he think it gives him cred? Does he think it makes him legit?
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The tat sleeve is fuckery cuz he's trying to make us believe he can get all Maori on our asses if we dis him. Methinks he will just run to Perez and try to kiss him again.
It's not our fault that he's really, really ridiculously fug looking!
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:29pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:28pm.
I'm out of douchery but if we start with fuckery, my weapon is locked and loaded!
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It's important not to over-douche. ON TO FUCKERY!!!!
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Onward! What kind of fuckery is that tat sleeve? Does he think it gives him cred? Does he think it makes him legit?
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:28pm.
I'm out of douchery but if we start with fuckery, my weapon is locked and loaded!
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It's important not to over-douche. ON TO FUCKERY!!!!
I don't think it's possible to be MORE of a douche than Mayer.
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:17pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:15pm.
*****
RONTFLMAO!!! Don't stop!
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I'm out of douchery but if we start with fuckery, my weapon is locked and loaded!
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by UKer on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:17pm.
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:11pm.
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I still think Jen cared about the press, but perhaps she is out of touch enough to believe his fakery, and you know he poured it on thick to get himself more attention. Angie would squash this prick so quick he wouldn't know what hit him. I think I would become an Angeloonie for that. Then she would truly be in public service.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:15pm.
*****
RONTFLMAO!!! Don't stop!
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:11pm.
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nope I think that she genuinely fell for his bullshit, I kinda liked them together at the start but John is too much of an attention seeker, maybe if Brangelina were to split up he should get together with Morticia Holie, they are both media loving famewhores.
Hahahah Lord of the Douchenozzles. He truly is. And he Twitters. Twat!
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Every time I look at him I hear the theme from the Lone Ranger only like:
Da da douche
Da da douche
Da da douche douche douche!
Make
It
Stop!
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by UKer on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:04pm.
The most shameless thing is that Jen Aniston went out with this mess.
She must cringe eveytime she hears his name, you know he's like that guy you dated at school, who was such a tosser and who your friends still tease about.
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I didn't believe that set up for one minute. I think she thought he would make her seem more artistic because he's a musician. FAIL! She probably has a really clean vadge now though. DOUCHE!
sugaroo-
YES! Or the frat dudes/meatheads with them who grind on their women while the are carrying said fruity drinks... one huge reason I stopped going to the 'normal' clubs way back when and instead went back 'home' to my roots- industrial/metal clubs. The bouncers didn't posture (or much speak) but they did make sure the dance floor was for dancing not that fuckery. And for the douches that escaped their radar? That's where we came in- swift kicks, arm jabs and such were all ok and cleared those people right on out of there.. hahahah
The most shameless thing is that Jen Aniston went out with this mess.
She must cringe eveytime she hears his name, you know he's like that guy you dated at school, who was such a tosser and who your friends still tease you about.
shameful.
Well Candy, to each his/her own. : )
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:59pm.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:00pm.
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BWAH! Y'all are cracking me up. I'm visualizing the nozzle!
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:04pm.
I LOVE TWITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Lol, I hate twitter with a passion. It's been awhile since I've hated something so much
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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Not funny.
I LOVE TWITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
The fact that he Twittered about it makes him even more douchey.
As a matter of fact, I HATE TWITTER!!!!
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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Submitted by 1womanarmy on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:38pm.
Mayer is funny.
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Since when?
I call him a douche, not because I didn't get the joke (cuz I did, it wasn't that hard) I call Mayer a douche because the "gag" (which Mayer makes me at the sight of him) was not funny or clever in the least. He isn't funny, nor clever, nor goodlooking. He can play the guitar, but his songs suck. He is a stupid attention whore who didn't need to Twitter the fact that his little stunt was just that, Helen Keller could have had a fair grasp on that!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Doesn't he even have an inkling that everyone calls him a douche? He's so busy trying to appear edgy and intellectual, he doesn't get that he might as well have a nozzle on the end of a hose sticking out of his mouth.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
So... I had no idea that JM sounded like a fucking Muppet in heat.
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For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:52pm.
John Mayer is such a douche, even his own mother throws empty Massengill containers at him. Hey, now that's an idea!
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OMG! LMFAO! Summer's Breeze my ass! More like Summer's Crabs infection.
Yeah, that was really uncool John.
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The New Improved Wyle E
"Give this ho a Sharpie!"
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:41pm.
...I am guaranteed to either singed with her Kool Light or she'll spill her Brandy Alexander on my shoes or she'll whack me with her faux Coach bag. All while yelling "Wooooooooooooo" like a demented choo-choo.
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Bitch don't be hating on Kools. About to kick your ass!!! XD
Everything else is spot on though!
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For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
WHAT is the freaking appeal of this guy??
HEY FREEBIRD!
John Mayer is such a douche, even his own mother throws empty Massengill containers at him. Hey, now that's an idea!
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Ha ha, that's hilarious.
No, it isn't.
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCHE.
Submitted by Candy on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:44pm.
He looks so desperate for attention which is really sad on his part
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What's really sad is all the people giving him the attention. These are the people that feel special and in on things when they go to a club and see a celebrity and get to be near them...when the celebrity could care less about them.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:41pm.
I bet that fat skank is one of the girls who not only smokes on the dancefloor but also has her drink and her purse with her while she busts a move. I hate people like that. I am guaranteed to either singed with her Kool Light or she'll spill her Brandy Alexander on my shoes or she'll whack me with her faux Coach bag. All while yelling "Wooooooooooooo" like a demented choo-choo.
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LOL
1womanarmy, I get it. I still think he's a douche.
Submitted by 1womanarmy on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:38pm.
Mayer is funny. This was a gag. Why does TMZ always "get" the JM gags, and Dlisted resort to the ole "douchebag" tag?
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Oh hellllll yes! I just bought a ticket on the RobPatt crazy train!!! Chooo-Fuckin-Chooo!!!—Clarisse
"I want mo monies and pie!" —Kfed (via MK)
Submitted by 1womanarmy on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:38pm.
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Uh, cuz he's a douche? Jury was out on you, but since you follow his Twitter and think we care...
In better news: HEY SUGAROO!
He looks so desperate for attention which is really sad on his part
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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John Mayer is repulsive and tries way to hard to be funny and fails miserably every time.
I would prefer to say single than to date this douchebag.
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I was on a diet for a month and lost 30 days.
Submitted by 1womanarmy on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:38pm.
Mayer is funny. This was a gag. Why does TMZ always "get" the JM gags, and Dlisted resort to the ole "douchebag" tag?
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If it walks like a douche, talks like a douche and looks like a douche........it's a damn douche!
I bet that fat skank is one of the girls who not only smokes on the dancefloor but also has her drink and her purse with her while she busts a move. I hate people like that. I am guaranteed to either singed with her Kool Light or she'll spill her Brandy Alexander on my shoes or she'll whack me with her faux Coach bag. All while yelling "Wooooooooooooo" like a demented choo-choo.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Looks like a fun night out.
Hope his headache wasn't too bad the next morning..... :D
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мσтнεя ѕμρεяïσя ĵμмρ тнε ġμи
That girl in the limo is probably thinking "I'm so special! I've been chosen!"
Some women are just so dumb!
Mayer is funny. This was a gag. Why does TMZ always "get" the JM gags, and Dlisted resort to the ole "douchebag" tag?
From JM's twitter:
Okay, check it. Just spent the last hour getting the reddest lipstick on me for a gag. When you see the pics of me leaving the club covered
In kisses it's all a gag. Have fun. Smile at the things that worry you. Play good music. Laugh. Live your life!!
Douche
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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Big ol' bag of douche! This guy is a straight up foolio. Bitch in grey has got nothing on Afro Queen in those Cristina Ricci pictures. Nothing!
Dooooooooooouche.
My dog has better Jacko moves than that.
John Mayer is strange-- drunk or sober. I don't know anyone in their right mind that would be attracted to him. He's lucky he has money because that's the only thing he has going for him.
Yes..a lotta learning. I have learned right now..to not do fuckery in front of cameras of any kind while I am drunk or high or whatever. Otherwise you'll end up looking douchy like John! Que idiotez de puto.
Coma Caca!!
I can just picture this douche planning how the lipstick will make everyone think he interacted with females when we can see his mouth is in permanent peen shape.
Lotta learnin. I learned I could only watch this because of the promise of something good at :38. Not bad Muffin Top. But not worth the douchery I can't wipe out of my frontal lobes. *voms*
The girl in gray has got my vote for Hot Slut of the Day.
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I wish it was like the 70's and it was still ok to kick someone's ass. Damn
Wow, if there was so much "learning" going on in the club, too bad he didn't learn NOT to be a douchebag!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............