Don't Try It, John!
Lord of the Douchebags, John Mayer, left a club in Los Angeles last night with his t-shirt and face covered in lipstick kisses. John joked that he really scored. Yeah, I wouldn't consider going into the bathroom, putting lipstick on your mouth and then kissing your t-shirt all over as "scoring." And because John didn't bring enough dick-baggery to the streets of L.A., he broke out his Jacko moves.
Bitch looked more like Bubbles after having too much Jesus Juice. John really shouldn't have done that, because bitch was upstaged by some ho drunk ass ho in grey! John knew she was taking his sunshine, because he didn't even acknowledge her triflin' ass. The night belonged to HER! Skip to the 0:38 mark in the video below to witness her shameless fuckery:
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Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 5:43pm.
DG, hit me up on Twitter and I'll tell you.
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Thanks Sug, I already read it.
Sad state of affairs the world is in.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
DG, hit me up on Twitter and I'll tell you.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
well since I am sure this post will become an open post...for fuckery and doucheness. who wants to join me with some boxed wine???it's sunday.
Coma Caca!!
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 5:36pm.
EDIT- I found the story.
Do you at least have a link I could go to in oreder to read about it?
I didn't thinkl you were ignoring me. Don't ever worry about that. I know you have been a little down! Hope you are better! : )
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 5:32pm.
DAE- What did I miss, I want to read!
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NO YOU DO NOT! it involves a young child, a missing organ and a psycho dad with cannibalistic tendencies.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 5:32pm.
DAE- What did I miss, I want to read!
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It was really bad. I'm not going to repost it.
Oh and please don't think i'm ignoring you on twitter, i just havent been able to face logging on.
Lady, 23rd July 2004 - 12th May 2009. Sweet Dreams. Miss you.
DAE,
No worries! We know it wasn't intentional! ♥
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
DAE- What did I miss, I want to read!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
@ EvilShoe, Sugaroo, TITS and everyone
It was such a bad error of judgement on my part. I am really sorry for any upset caused.
To make up for it
naked fatties ;0) (nsfw)
http://www.chubby-fat-girls.com/Images/2009/02/nude-obese-woman.jpg
http://www.bbwweblog.com/images/chubby-school-2.jpg
Lady, 23rd July 2004 - 12th May 2009. Sweet Dreams. Miss you.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 4:57pm.
Submitted by xerquina on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 4:51pm.
I wonder what his friends(if he has any) think of him. even when I'm drunk my friends wouldn't let me get that douchbagish.
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You're assuming this douchenozzle has friends, dahlink!
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and that he was drunk. This may be normal for him.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"I'm not a victim, I'm a slut" - overheard in a park.
Submitted by 1womanarmy on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:38pm.
Why does TMZ always "get" the JM gags, and Dlisted resort to the ole "douchebag" tag?
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Um............because he is? Duh.
If the douche do fit, you got a hit!
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by 1womanarmy on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 1:38pm.
Mayer is funny. This was a gag. Why does TMZ always "get" the JM gags, and Dlisted resort to the ole "douchebag" tag?
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He is?
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the end...
Word, C Word. To say he's a douchebag is an insult to douchebags everywhere.
If this doesn't put the question to rest as to why Jen Aniston broke up with him then nothing ever will.
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It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
GOD that hot mess in the grey!! Fucking love it!
Submitted by xerquina on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 4:51pm.
I wonder what his friends(if he has any) think of him. even when I'm drunk my friends wouldn't let me get that douchbagish.
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You're assuming this douchenozzle has friends, dahlink!
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
It's good he can dance, because he's likely to be on Dancing with the Stars any day. Especially now that cruises to Mexico are off.
I wonder what his friends(if he has any) think of him. even when I'm drunk my friends wouldn't let me get that douchbagish.
The orginal douche with a capitol bag.
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Fucka doodle-do.
I don't know what's worse - someone filming this idiot, or me watching it!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"I'm not a victim, I'm a slut" - overheard in a park.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 4:29pm.
Ditto.
That's why I like that MK instituted the open post. I can avoid a lot that I have no interest in that way.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"I'm not a victim, I'm a slut" - overheard in a park.
DAE
I agree. Thank you for deleting the story. Obviously you didn't mean to upset anyone. For me, I would have been able to take it if it hadn't been a child.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 4:07pm.
No worries. It is hard to tell what is too much for Dlisted in certain spots. That was really cool of you to edit that. Thank you!
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Dick happens! - MK
What the fuck! DAE,that shit is just too fucking much. i'm such a sucker for reading it.
excuse me while i puke my eyes out(no pun intended).
Edited. Sorry folks. :o(
Lady, 23rd July 2004 - 12th May 2009. Sweet Dreams. Miss you.
Douche- cafe
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://www.twolia.com/blogs/teacups-and-couture/
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:58pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:52pm.
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Whatevs. You are officially witty and hilarious. Truly.
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What can I tell you? I had gas.
Thanks, though!
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
He's worse than my sister about LOVING attention. His penis resembles a baby carrot clit and also, he's gay.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:53pm.
Wow. Did MK leave this up all afternoon for you whores to view?
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Did you stop by yesterday? I guess not, your retinas still seem to be working. I'll take open-mouthed douche over open-mouthed goo anyday. Yuck!
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:31pm.
Of topic ~~
This is NSFW :o(
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Why did you feel the need to post that story here?
I came to this thread to read funny comments about some douche bag not to suddenly find myself reading about a man eating a childs eyeball.
Please edit out this story and save it for a more appropriate place - if such a place exists.
What the Fuck!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"I'm not a victim, I'm a slut" - overheard in a park.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:52pm.
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Whatevs. You are officially witty and hilarious. Truly.
John, you man whore. lol
DAYUM DAE!
That is FUCKED UP! That poor kid, the last thing he saw was his crazed father coming at him. FRY him up in the chair!
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Dick happens! - MK
Wow. Did MK leave this up all afternoon for you whores to view?
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:41pm.
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LOL! That actually sounds like a good product! I didn't get into that thread much because I am now obsessed with Eurovision. I'll have to go scan thru your hilarity.
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You give me waaaaay too much credit. I think I said maybe two things and I hadn't had lunch yet so I was ornery.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:48pm.
He needs a beat down. Seriously.
Preferably with something jagged and quite pointy in places.
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Hahaha! And so does whoever planted those lipstick marks on him. I'm thinking a ninja star might do the trick.
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:41pm.
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LOL! That actually sounds like a good product! I didn't get into that thread much because I am now obsessed with Eurovision. I'll have to go scan thru your hilarity.
He needs a beat down. Seriously.
Preferably with something jagged and quite pointy in places.
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:23pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:17pm.
Okay I know this is off topic but this post is played. I just saw an ad featuring Lee Majors for the "Lee Majors Bionic Hearing Aid".
And it was a real product.
Holy shitballs, please don't let me get old.
*****
You should jaunt on over to the Pam Anderson thread. There's something that'll make you feel good about getting old. She's got the bionic skank aid.
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Sorry, no can do. I'm sitting here looking at teevee and waiting for the ad for the Lindsay Wagner Bionic Dildo Machine to come on. YEEHAW!
Besides, my work in that thread is done.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:17pm.
Okay I know this is off topic but this post is played. I just saw an ad featuring Lee Majors for the "Lee Majors Bionic Hearing Aid".
And it was a real product.
Holy shitballs, please don't let me get old.
*****
You should jaunt on over to the Pam Anderson thread. There's something that'll make you feel good about getting old. She's got the bionic skank aid.
"Lots of learning tonight". I'm sure there will be lots of learning at the free clinic later, too.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Okay I know this is off topic but this post is played. I just saw an ad featuring Lee Majors for the "Lee Majors Bionic Hearing Aid".
And it was a real product.
Holy shitballs, please don't let me get old.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:11pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:03pm.
I'll admit it - generally I like his music but why OH GOD, does he have to be a such a treacle dick? *disgusted*
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Well thankeee! *brushing knuckles on my lapel...err my blouse*
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 3:03pm.
I'll admit it - generally I like his music but why OH GOD, does he have to be a such a treacle dick? *disgusted*
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Say it ain't so Joe! Actually, I do like that 'waiting on the world to change' song. But anyjoeshmoe, you are forgiven since you found a perfect way to use treacle dick in a sentence and that is an obscure thread reference! Kadooooze!
I'll admit it - generally I like his music but why OH GOD, does he have to be a such a treacle dick? *disgusted*
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:54pm.
I bet he Twitters while clubbing.
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And fucking. And looking in the mirror. And ho strolling. And douching. And queefing. And famewhoring. And gagging. And Twittering.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:52pm.
I wonder if he sings "Your Body is A Wonderland" when he's buttfucking his down-low BFs? Nah, his ego is so big he changes the word "Your" to "Mines".
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I think he buttfucks them INTO Wonderland (where he resides)with the glitter from his magical peen wand. Except it's not real glitter, it's just a gag.
I bet he Twitters while clubbing.
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 2:46pm.
I wonder if he sings "Your Body is A Wonderland" when he's buttfucking his down-low BFs? Nah, his ego is so big he changes the word "Your" to "Mines".
Then he puts on sunglasses and bites down on a toofpick.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
FUCKERY is him trying to pull his own head down to his cock and pretend he's 'doing Michael Jackson moves.' Dude, sing that song so I can blow myself!