Don't Try It, John!
Lord of the Douchebags, John Mayer, left a club in Los Angeles last night with his t-shirt and face covered in lipstick kisses. John joked that he really scored. Yeah, I wouldn't consider going into the bathroom, putting lipstick on your mouth and then kissing your t-shirt all over as "scoring." And because John didn't bring enough dick-baggery to the streets of L.A., he broke out his Jacko moves.
Bitch looked more like Bubbles after having too much Jesus Juice. John really shouldn't have done that, because bitch was upstaged by some ho drunk ass ho in grey! John knew she was taking his sunshine, because he didn't even acknowledge her triflin' ass. The night belonged to HER! Skip to the 0:38 mark in the video below to witness her shameless fuckery:
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"Yo.....shut the fuck up"
dave chappelle
@ stoney.what are you trying to say about inner city kids.damn bigot.
oh god ....people that are on ere that talk shit about people they don't know can't take being called names.as far as my writing goes .....well since I'm not a broke ass i have an iPhone in which...shock..when you type fast some of the words don't go through cause it's a touch screen.when you type a letter the phone will pull up the last word used that had the same initial letters.consider it the phones memory.understand.got it.also I have other things to do so I type when busy doing something elsa.you can't go back and reread what you write either.lastly I'm not tripping over my punctuation or spelling when tricks up in this bitch only have a single word vocabulary.why not try answering my question.who do you like and who have they worked with.nobody is a stalker.the fact is the same folks come on here talking shit.what the hell is your point.ya don't have one.
Maybe folks should do something about their shitty lives instead of talking shit.
Gfffffff
"Yo.....shut the fuck up"
dave chappelle
@ stoney.what are you trying to say about inner city kids.damn bigot.
oh god ....people that are on ere that talk shit about people they don't know can't take being called names.as far as my writing goes .....well since I'm not a broke ass i have an iPhone in which...shock..when you type fast some of the words don't go through cause it's a touch screen.when you type a letter the phone will pull up the last word used that had the same initial letters.consider it the phones memory.understand.got it.also I have other things to do so I type when busy doing something elsa.you can't go back and reread what you write either.lastly I'm not tripping over my punctuation or spelling when tricks up in this bitch only have a single word vocabulary.why not try answering my question.who do you like and who have they worked with.nobody is a stalker.the fact is the same folks come on here talking shit.what the hell is your point.ya don't have one.
Maybe folks should do something about their shitty lives instead of talking shit.
Gfffffff
"Yo.....shut the fuck up"
dave chappelle
@ stoney.what are you trying to say about inner city kids.damn bigot.
oh god ....people that are on ere that talk shit about people they don't know can't take being called names.as far as my writing goes .....well since I'm not a broke ass i have an iPhone in which...shock..when you type fast some of the words don't go through cause it's a touch screen.when you type a letter the phone will pull up the last word used that had the same initial letters.consider it the phones memory.understand.got it.also I have other things to do so I type when busy doing something elsa.you can't go back and reread what you write either.lastly I'm not tripping over my punctuation or spelling when tricks up in this bitch only have a single word vocabulary.why not try answering my question.who do you like and who have they worked with.nobody is a stalker.the fact is the same folks come on here talking shit.what the hell is your point.ya don't have one.
Maybe folks should do something about their shitty lives instead of talking shit.
Gfffffff
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He tries too hard.
"Show Me, Show Me.. Inside Outside.. Diamond Girl & more" 80's Freestyle
whata dork...so embarassed for any chicks who dates that!
"You're a POKA PLAYA.. WHITE TRASH!"
Submitted by trickr4kids on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 12:27pm.
"Yo.....shut the fuck up"
dave chappelle
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SHUT THE FUCK UP YOURSELF.
Your commentary are dull, boring and irrelevant. Nobody on this post likes you and we all think YOU'RE boring so just GO AWAY. You hypocrite. So what if we call him a douchebag. You're calling us nasty names so what makes you any better, you John Meyer crazy stalker?
This asswipe does not realize that acting stupid trying to make the press look stupid makes him look like an even bigger famewhore then parasite. He needs a good punch in the balls.
Submitted by streetfry on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 12:39am.
wtf? does he think he's living in an Archie comic?!?
-Oh my god if I was drinking coffee right now I would have sprayed my monitor - that comment is bang on. Awesome.
John Mayer is douchier than a summer's eve. Ugh -I hate him so much. He needs to learn some f*cking humilty and grow up. He thinks he's so "Oddball" and cool. FAIL!
bwahahaha
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The difference is we actually respect Barbie. Bitch can fly planes and shit, but Parasite can't even suck a dick right!
Submitted by trickr4kids on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 12:27pm.
And where did you learn to write? The inner city school for apathetic retards?
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
"Yo.....shut the fuck up"
dave chappelle
I'll come on the site as I please to read MK....but you motherfuckers need to get another piece of commentary.keep talking shit cause hell keep working with legends and getting paid ....while yall's ass will be sitting behind a computer calling someone a douche.if you gonna talk shit make it funny.you're just boring people.
this is the first time I've commented cause yall's ass is boring.ain't got shit to say about what I said about the people he's worked with.oh yeah can't forget he worked with jimmy Hendrix original band and herbie hancock like I said but herbie worked with john Coltrane and miles davis
make a comment about who I said he worked with .....all those legends.
What an obnoxious douche.
I had no interest in watching the games at present....I found a hot place, you guys should try it ___Meetrich Co m_____a great place for rich people to meet their soul mates....
I would be so embarassed to introduce this douche as my boyfriend to people....ugh he sucks.
I heart Dlisted.
~Zoe
http://www.myspace.com/misszoesimone
Could this guy be anymore of a loser? I don't see how he gets girls. He so stupid!
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:05pm.
Submitted by trickr4kids on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:00pm.
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Yea John Meyer aka trickr4kds - stop coming on to Dlisted! We're so on to you! You are a DOUCHE to beat all douches. Looking at that picture makes me want to hurl and wash myself in bleach. And my eyes too!
I used to at least like your music a little but your stupid Twitterings and retarded antics have demean and make me lost all respect for you.
I would so hit that! He is yummy!
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://www.rantsthoughtsmerde.com/2009/05/gay-marriage-hits-streets.html
How many douches does it take to change a light bulb?
Trick question! Douches don't do anything unless the paparazzi are present.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LOVE ANDERSON on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 1:52pm.
Um, FYI, that's zomay's sig.
Dear John,
You need help. ASAP.
wtf? does he think he's living in an Archie comic?!?
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 12:13am.
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WORD! A douchebag is a douchebag is a douchebag.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
I love how his fans try to explain away his douchbaggery with him trying to play a "joke" on the paps, or him being too cool and ironic to be understood by simpletons like us. They must have non-existent self esteem to worship such a total dickbag. At this point he could be the hottest mofo on earth and I would still punch his fucking teeth out if I ever met him. That's how much of a complete douchenozzle he is.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 12:03am.
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Mwahahaha! Too true m8. He sucks my dead hamster's fluffy balls!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Lory on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 11:59pm.
Mayer is just this disgusting talentless lady boy. The only reason he's been given the opportunity to work with the big names in music is because he plays a mean meat flute.
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Not to mention the purple piccolo. Either way you look at it, he blows.
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Mayer is just this disgusting talentless lady boy. The only reason he's been given the opportunity to work with the big names in music is because he plays a mean meat flute. If it weren't for his guitar and his tiny dick, he'd be Miley fucking Cyrus.
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
WHY WON'T YOU LET JOHN BE DOUCHE?
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God Save the Queen
People still dance to Jungle Boogie?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dl9IoIY7ghY
I'm not sure if this has been said before but John is kind of a douche.
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 10:08pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 9:58pm.
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Yeah, see? Douchetastic is a GOOD thing! Double Douchebag is twice as nice! And Doucheful thinking will always remind us of you, John.
Ain't nobody
Douche me better
Makes me fresher
Makes me feel this way
Ain't nobody
Douche me better than you
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Awesome!!!
See we DListed whores know how to make a Douche feel douchetasstically welcomed, no? We whores need to write a etiquette book up in here or sumpin. Them Post and Vanderbilt skanks got nuffin' on us...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 9:58pm.
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Yeah, see? Douchetastic is a GOOD thing! Double Douchebag is twice as nice! And Doucheful thinking will always remind us of you, John.
Ain't nobody
Douche me better
Makes me fresher
Makes me feel this way
Ain't nobody
Douche me better than you
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 9:51pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 9:38pm.
Yep, just to name a few...And I don't mean to toot my own douche nozzle, but I'm quite the tiger between the sheets, know what I'm sayin'? Yeah, I know you all want me....Check out my tat sleeve...edgy ain't it????
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You had me at the douchestache right above your lip...
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Ahahahahaha! See Mayer? You still got game among the DListed...douchstache, douchetats, douchespeak, You DA DOUCHE OF HURL up in here, man...Ain't no other douche make a Dlisted slut hurl like you do...*gag*...See, I'm 'bout to hurl right now....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
The douchebaggery must be stopped! It's my mission in life, damn it!
So, praise be to Xenu, I hope to hire some stupid father humper to biotch slapp Mr. Cheese Dick in the mother fargin' mouf!
For some good, non douchey music, check this out instead:
http://reverbnation.com/lovebomb
"Eat a bowl of fuck!" - John Belushi
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 9:38pm.
Yep, just to name a few...And I don't mean to toot my own douche nozzle, but I'm quite the tiger between the sheets, know what I'm sayin'? Yeah, I know you all want me....Check out my tat sleeve...edgy ain't it????
***
You had me at the douchestache right above your lip...
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 9:28pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 9:19pm.
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LOL!!! I smell a Grammy! Let me guess - you've worked with
B.B. king eric Clapton sting herbie hancock buddy guy sheryl crow kanye west usher Quincy jones dangelo the dixie chicks Alicia keys common john scofield.al green producers dave Matthews band ben folds.
Maroon 5 .babyface lil Wayne are still trying to work with him.stevie wonder said he listens to him and has performed with him.his current guitar tuner worked with prince for yrs.Steve Jordan the drummer for his album and pino pallidino his bassist have worked with the who the stones.pino worked for dangelo.
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Yep, just to name a few...And I don't mean to toot my own douche nozzle, but I'm quite the tiger between the sheets, know what I'm sayin'? Yeah, I know you all want me....Check out my tat sleeve...edgy ain't it????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
He obviously just left Clay Aiken's house.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 9:19pm.
****
LOL!!! I smell a Grammy! Let me guess - you've worked with
B.B. king eric Clapton sting herbie hancock buddy guy sheryl crow kanye west usher Quincy jones dangelo the dixie chicks Alicia keys common john scofield.al green producers dave Matthews band ben folds.
Maroon 5 .babyface lil Wayne are still trying to work with him.stevie wonder said he listens to him and has performed with him.his current guitar tuner worked with prince for yrs.Steve Jordan the drummer for his album and pino pallidino his bassist have worked with the who the stones.pino worked for dangelo.
Douche, Douche, Douche, Douche of Hurl
Douche, Douche, Douche of Hurl
Douche, Douche, Douche of Hurl
Douche, Douche, Douche of Hurl
As I-I walk through this world
Nothing can stop The Douche of Hurl
And-a you, you are my girl
And no one can hurt you, oh no
Yes, a-I, oh, I'm gonna love you
Oh, oh
Come on let me hold you, darling
'Cause I'm the Douche of Hurl
So, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:56pm.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:52pm.
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:48pm.
TEAM JOHN MAYER IS A DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm making T-shirts as we type. I'm putting lipstick prints on them cuz nothing says DOUCHE like a staged photo op for TMZ.
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Hey now, he was being funny and clever! He is an ARTIST DOUCHEBAG!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:52pm.
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:48pm.
TEAM JOHN MAYER IS A DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm making T-shirts as we type. I'm putting lipstick prints on them cuz nothing says DOUCHE like a staged photo op for TMZ.
Submitted by The C word on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:49pm.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:45pm.
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Kadooooze to you twoooze. Well played.
AND TO: Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:52pm. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:48pm.
TEAM JOHN MAYER IS A DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!!!!!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by The C word on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:49pm.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:45pm.
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BWAHAHA!!! You punny fuckers.
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:45pm.
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Haha, good one Sheeps....douché.
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It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:33pm.
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:29pm.
Yeah, I am only a douche, as you may know from Douchebag Friday a week ago, not a Double Douche like JOHN MAYER.
Hey guys, guess what? JOHN MAYER IS A DOUCHEBAG! Heh, heh, heh!
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I missed Douchebag Friday. Could be why I'm not as fresh as I'd like, but whatev. I just want to say that I concur. JOHN MAYER IS A DOUCHEBAG!!!! Summer's Heave!
Submitted by The C word on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:40pm.
No quibbling on this fine summer's eve. *hic*
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:37pm.
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Some may say Massengilled, but why quibble?
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It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
Submitted by The C word on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 7:27pm.
I don't mind her so I just put it off to a momentary lapse of judgment. Some may say coma, but why quibble?
Jen was douchmatized.
...Oh I forgot, he's ugly too.
How can anyone stand him? His music is crap and he is a total douche. Just go away, John!
Submitted by freebird on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 8:29pm.
Yeah, I am only a douche, as you may know from Douchebag Friday a week ago, not a Double Douche like JOHN MAYER.
Hey guys, guess what? JOHN MAYER IS A DOUCHEBAG! Heh, heh, heh!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............