Good News For Bronx Mowgli
The sun is shining on Bronx Mowgli, because if this shit is true, he might not have the worst name in the Wentz-Simpson family for long! Star Magazine (via Ace Showbiz) is saying that Asshole Simpson is knocked up with her second babeh. Don't ask me how Ass and Pete continue to make babies together, because there's no way he has ever put his penis into her vagina. Every time he tries, he probably giggles so hard that he goes pee pee. And unless you're Kim Kardashian, piss on the pussay is a total mood killer.
Some source said that the new emofetus has only been marinating in there for a few weeks. Ass is apparently thrilled, because she thinks she will give birth to a magical Band-Aid that will fix her shitty marriage. The source went on, "She loves Pete and wants to hang on to him. She believes this second baby will really clinch the deal. He (Pete) thinks a second kid could change things for the worse. He doesn't want to be tied down and stuck at home all the time."
Everyone knows babies fix fucked up marriages! Their diarrhea is like glue! And their neverending screeches in the night is like a romantic lullaby that will make your husband fall in love with you all over again.
But who cares about that? I just care about the name! I hope they stick with the same theme.... I'm thinking Staten Island Baloo? New Jersey Turnpike Kaa? Queensborough Bridge King Louie? Or maybe Papa Joe will step up his baby whoring game and go for something like People Magazine Gerber Wentz-Simpson?
Here's the two prime candidates for sterilization at a T-Mobile event last night.
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Submitted by greenfinch on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 10:57am.
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Hahaha...hey greeny, good to see ya. Any big plans this weekend?
OnT: good names people, very creative!
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It's Dee's fault that I learned how to make the ♥ thingy. And I promised her I'd use it excessively.
El Paso Cheque Pleez Simpson-Wentz
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Mac Eye Liner Porcelain Flat Iron Simpson-Wentz
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
Submitted by The C word on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 10:32am.
no no...
Massapequa King Louie
Phoenix Simba hakuna matata Simpson-wentz
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
These dumbfucks think another baby will fix that mess. LOL.
Bayonne Bridget Wentz-Peepee
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Pull My Finger
Why does Ass look 47 in that pic?
Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 10:54am.
LCT you beesh, you stole my name of Sheboygan! I have had that name in my wish box for years, it's mines!!!!
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Oh don't worry, I wouldn't steal it from you. Oshkosk is MINE though.
LCT you beesh, you stole my name of Sheboygan! I have had that name in my wish box for years, it's mines!!!!
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Remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
Rainbows-Ova Manhattan
Tahoe Princess Jasmine Simpson-Wentz
of course asslee wants to hang onto to pete - he's the one with the money (yes, it's true - he's wealthy). what's gonna happen when all these celeb's babies grow up and aren't cute little playthings anymore? i feel sorry for these kids.
My turn my turn! Sheboygan Sarabi Wentz if it's a girl, Chattanooga Launchpad Mcquack Wentz if it's a boy
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Remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 10:39am.
SOFA BATTERY BLACKS ASS TAX SIMPSON-WENTZ!
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AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
HOLY FUCK!
AWESOME!
Lompoc Roo Simpson Wentz
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I am really curious as to when this ridiculous baby/pregnancy trend will ever end??!!
Why are celebs getting so much publicity for getting knocked up? Yeah, its special, but its also something that keeps the human race going, its not like its anything THAT remarkable that we need to hear about it constantly & keep up to date on everyone's damn uterus.
Who out there really cares about pregnancy fashion & when its due & if they are having twins or not & YES, the twins are natural & NOT the result of copious amounts of fertility drugs & how adorable so in so's "bump" looks & what the lame ass overly extravagant nursery looks like & most of all I dont give a shit about what outlandish name their child is going to cursed with...UGH!!
I don't care much one way or the other about Adam Lambert on "Idol" but reading about these two make me wish Adam wins and makes 100 million dollars in six months, if it pisses off Asshole and Petey-poo, both by now certainly in the "What's Not Hot!" column.
Salt Lake Cracka Simpson-Wentz
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
ASSlee could've done way better than this. Wentz is a total nobody, and his "band" would've been gone 3 years sooner had he not knocked her up.
Not only that, but I still remember when Petey went on Howard Stern and was talking about their sex life. Grade A douchebag = Pete Wentz.
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"Let me tuck you in" is doucheanese for "I want to ass-to-mouth you", right?" MK 5/14/09
New Jersey Drive Simpson-Wentz
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
These two bore me..but I'm gonna hang for all the funny names to come.
HEY MK!..I had a dream about you last night.
You took me to the wax museum and we had our picture taken with Albert Einstein .
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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hahaha I just got the mental Image about jessica simpson hearing the news!
*imagines a Paula Abdul, Where is God when you need him? type of comment*
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
how is that considered attractive...he looks like a girl with facial hair stubble
what ashley is trying to hang onto Pete?? what kind of sick world is this?
STFU Assley! Have you ever been to the Bronx you fucking fool! What's this kids name gonna be Watts Riot Simba! And babies don't keep men STOOOOPID!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Has anyone checked on Jessica? That bitch is probably hanging from her ceiling.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Oh, it has to be a place? East Bulldick Missouri Simpson-Wentz
I forgot the Disney part too...
BROKE BOOT MOVE CRUELLA SIMPSON-WENTZ
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Ooops, I think I meant Simpson-Wentz. It is so hard to keep track of who the man is in the relationship. She does look a little like tranny Brooke in that photo. Its a weird angle shot.
isnt bronx like 5months old how is a second crying baby going to fix anything ashley is a dumb ho
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Reno Shot Watch Him Die Wentz-Tool
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Hey baby! Did heaven lose a star? 'cause you've got niiiiiiice cans...
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 10:39am.
WTF is with these asshole celebrities and back to back babies?
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Contraception must be taboo or something.
Celeb Baby Name Game!
Rubber Dog Shit Simpson-Wentz
Queensborough Bridge King Louie! LOL
I find this hillarious. I give that marriage 2 more years tops!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Is this real life?
WTF is with these asshole celebrities and back to back babies?
SOFA BATTERY BLACKS ASS TAX SIMPSON-WENTZ!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Brooklyn Yogi Wentz-Simpson.
Petey is looking kind of vampirish in that pic.
So I take it they aren't really splitting up then?
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 10:37am.
Celeb Baby Name Game!
Des Moines Simpson-Wentz
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Bottlecap Tubular Simpson-Wentz!
Oh wait, places and Disney.
Sheboygan Grand Vizier Jafar Simpson-Wentz.
Why are these two assholes famous?
One is a sister to a failed 'multi-talented' dumbass and the other is a what?
The only way these goofy hacks can keep themselves relavant is to reproduce. Idiots.
Chicago Bear Simpson-Wentz
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
he doesn't want to be tied down and stuck at home all the time.
REALLY? really. bitch you are fucking Married! and have a goddamn kid. GUESS what that means???? you ARE tied down, and should be at home with your fam. how did you not understand what marriage and chittlens means??
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I love her eyes in thumbnail 2!!!!
Yeah, because Babies fix everything....
Dumbass.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Celeb Baby Name Game!
Des Moines Simpson-Wentz
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
oh, I thought they were going to give the kid a fucking break and change his name. Dumbasses.
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Are you ready for the thing called love
Don't come from me and you, it comes from up above
I ain't no porcupine, take off your kid gloves
Are you ready for it?
- Bonnie Raitt
BWAHAHAHA "people magazine"
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
whatever!
who cares about these two chin-bumping whores!
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
"He doesn't want to be tied down and stuck at home all the time."
When did it ever happen? hahahaha
Yonkers Baloo Mk, Yonkers Baloo....
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It's Dee's fault that I learned how to make the ♥ thingy. And I promised her I'd use it excessively.