Good News For Bronx Mowgli
The sun is shining on Bronx Mowgli, because if this shit is true, he might not have the worst name in the Wentz-Simpson family for long! Star Magazine (via Ace Showbiz) is saying that Asshole Simpson is knocked up with her second babeh. Don't ask me how Ass and Pete continue to make babies together, because there's no way he has ever put his penis into her vagina. Every time he tries, he probably giggles so hard that he goes pee pee. And unless you're Kim Kardashian, piss on the pussay is a total mood killer.
Some source said that the new emofetus has only been marinating in there for a few weeks. Ass is apparently thrilled, because she thinks she will give birth to a magical Band-Aid that will fix her shitty marriage. The source went on, "She loves Pete and wants to hang on to him. She believes this second baby will really clinch the deal. He (Pete) thinks a second kid could change things for the worse. He doesn't want to be tied down and stuck at home all the time."
Everyone knows babies fix fucked up marriages! Their diarrhea is like glue! And their neverending screeches in the night is like a romantic lullaby that will make your husband fall in love with you all over again.
But who cares about that? I just care about the name! I hope they stick with the same theme.... I'm thinking Staten Island Baloo? New Jersey Turnpike Kaa? Queensborough Bridge King Louie? Or maybe Papa Joe will step up his baby whoring game and go for something like People Magazine Gerber Wentz-Simpson?
Here's the two prime candidates for sterilization at a T-Mobile event last night.
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Kraft Sweet Pickle Relish Tennis Cans Simpson-Wentz
Miska Muska Douchey Wentz
Howdy Migraine! Happy Friday to you too!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
If they were truely eco friendly they would have her pussy yarded out.
Submitted by Rishkin on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:22am.
these are all so funny
Brooklyn Buzzlightyear Bobbsey Twins Simpson-Wentz
i suck
Hahahaha! I like that one!
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TEAM KIEFER!
Heya Migraine Sally. Happy Flyday!
Hekki has toruette's!
Asswipe ragu homestyle wentz.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Submitted by The C word on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:14am.
Submitted by greenfinch on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:08am.
haha yeah, i stay home this weekend to. i like indoor activities on may 24.
patio sounds lush. perhaps we'll do that later too! i wanted to stop the other night when i had to walk home cause subway was shut down because of bomb threat. ppfftt. but i had yoga so no beer and patio for moi.
on topic..i hope they read it too! perhaps they do.. they will prob give second baby something super normal like mary jane...
these are all so funny
Brooklyn Buzzlightyear Bobbsey Twins Simpson-Wentz
i suck
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These two are vile, just vile. Yeah Ass, keep poppin' out the emospawns cause that's what solidifies a marriage. Exhibit A: Shitney and K over Fed.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:16am.
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Hahaha, love the BB ref.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
It's Dee's fault that I learned how to make the ♥ thingy. And I promised her I'd use it excessively.
I've got one...
Cranston Geppetto Simpson-Wentz
Submitted by E.A.P. on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:10am.
Nemo Neverland Ranch Dressing Wentz-Simpson
Hahahahaha! NICE!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Sorry for the multiple posts. One of my brats was trying to wrestle me for the keyboard and I have no idea what happened during the struggle.
See, Asslee? This is what you're in for, you dolt.
WOW! HEKKI!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Oh man. What a bunch of maroons.
Oh man. What a bunch of maroons.
Oh man. What a bunch of maroons.
Oh man. What a bunch of maroons.
Oh man. What a bunch of maroons.
Submitted by E.A.P. on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:08am.
Exit 14 Sebastian Flounder Wentz-Simpson
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*clap clap clap clap clap*
I like.
Exit 14.
Submitted by greenfinch on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:08am.
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I have an invite to go to Sandusky, Ohio (Cedar point) but not leaning that way...will try to take advantage of the nice weather this aft on the patio, then hanging out w/friends the rest of the time.
And the weather is exactly why I don't usually go away this weekend (except to go south).
Casino sounds good...
OnT: I hope those two read dlisted.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
It's Dee's fault that I learned how to make the ♥ thingy. And I promised her I'd use it excessively.
I've totally been to Bucksnort.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
HAPPY FRIDAY HORZ!!!!!!! HOW'S TRICKS????
GAH! I can't stand looking at Pete Wentz's face! It is as creepy to me as that ugly Jonas Bro. (Yeah, I know, you are gonna say, "which one", the REALLY ugly one, "which ugly one" the really really weird ugly one!)
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Countess Butta Fucka Cunty Simpson-Wentz
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TEAM KIEFER!
What gia said.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Spatula Bravo Disney Faux Emo Lemon TwoSheds Shirtlifter Simpson-Wentz...The first..
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Leaders dream and talk.
Subordinates plan and do...
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:07am.
BUCKSNORT! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I'm so naming my son that. I almost hope I'm knocked up just so I can call it Bucksnort.
Bahahahahaha! Now I just spit my coffee out!BUCKSNORT is awesome!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Nemo Neverland Ranch Dressing Wentz-Simpson
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Pull My Finger
hola! *waves*
ummm it is a long weekend and all here...big plans..big plans..we might do a wee bit of cross boarder shopping this weekend..or perhaps just hit the casino... theres a family birthday on sunday...but thats about all. the weather is going to be pooooooooooo
any big plans for you?
Exit 14 Sebastian Flounder Wentz-Simpson
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Pull My Finger
Rykers Island Tramp Simpson-Wentz
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by Lavadama on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:05am.
Thanks, I laughed at it myself!!! Everytime I hear Bronx Mowgli that stupid song gets in my head!
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Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 10:59am.
El Paso Cheque Pleez Simpson-Wentz
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I think we have ourselves a winner!
BUCKSNORT! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I'm so naming my son that. I almost hope I'm knocked up just so I can call it Bucksnort.
Barcelona Baghdad Bombay Beirut Simpson-Wentz
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TEAM KIEFER!
Submitted by CRAZY on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:03am.
Leo in the Jungle the mighty jungle Aslee sleeps tonight Simpson-Wentz
OMFG! I actually choked on my soda a bit. Nice one!
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"Let me tuck you in" is doucheanese for "I want to ass-to-mouth you", right?" MK 5/14/09
Oh, it has to be a disney movie character?
Bucksnort Hercules Simpson-wentz. (SEriously, Bucksnort is the name of a town in Tennesee.)
@TS...Seems like a lot of shit goes down behind the dumpster of the Peppermint Rhino...sounds fun..
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Leaders dream and talk.
Subordinates plan and do...
Lord, I dispise these two.
Possum-Trot Roo Simpson-Wentz
(Possum-Trot was the almost name for what is now Kansas City. No lie!)
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I'd consider following Jesus Christ if he were on Twitter.
lmao Miss Priss, and Love Anderson, and uh, LCT, and lessee who else - all you funny hors! This shit is golden.
Seriously tho, band aid babies never EVER work out, they just prolong the inevitable, only now there's twice the bitterness and resentment.
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Remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
Leo in the Jungle the mighty jungle Aslee sleeps tonight Simpson-Wentz
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Queens Princess Aurora Simpson-Wentz
East Mamaronek Donald Duck Simpson-Wentz
The Hamptons Goofy Simpson-Wentz
Newark King Triton Simpson-Wentz
...ooooh, this could go on all day...
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Why in bronzer on the nutsack hell is she naked, but he's fully clothed? Take all them panties off, Zac!
Hoboken Newark Camden Douche-Wentz
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Hey baby! Did heaven lose a star? 'cause you've got niiiiiiice cans...
market district jasmine genie wentz
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
The baby shower is being held behind the dumpster of the Peppermint Rhino.
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You are who you think you are.
Bangkok Rafiki Simpson-Wentz
Maybe Papa Joe just figured they needed to do something to get into the tabloids again. Besides looking bad in jeans and singing poorly, that is.
Shaquiesha kayaeisha Latoya Latisha Simpson-Wentz
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TEAM KIEFER!