Madonna IS Marrying Baby Jesus
Baby Jesus' father, God, has told Brazil's Who Magazine (via Gatecrasher) that the rumors about his son marrying Madonna are true. I'm not even a practicing Catholic anymore, but I feel like I need to pray for the fuckery I read in that last sentence. SANTO DIOS! Hand me a rosary and light a candle! Get my veil too! The lace one!
God said that they will "marry" in a Kabbalah ceremony in New York. Since it's not going to be a real marriage, he's not sure if it's legally binding or not. The magazine also asked God about the rumors that Madonna was making Baby Jesus take ESL lessons, but he says that's all just lies. God chirped, "Jesus already spoke English very well before he knew Madonna! I've spoken by phone with Madonna - in French, because my English is not fluent - and she appears to me to be a normal and polite person. She is feminine. I don't feel she is a harsh person."
If you swallowed your tongue after reading the "feminine" part, you're not alone. I've been trying to pull my tongue out of my throat ever since I read that. Madonna is about as feminine as a T-Rex's dick.
You know, something in the milk ain't clean about this Kabbalah ceremony thing. Methinks Vadge is up to something. This isn't a commitment ceremony, this is a de-nutsack ceremony! And while she's in there, she's going to take his peen's hoody too! Because if you're going to be knocking it with Madonna long-term, you gotta leave your ballies at the door.
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Submitted by deka on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 4:56pm.
smart kid
even with a pre-nup, he'll be set
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no joke. fuck. i'd marry her!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"I'm not a victim, I'm a slut" - overheard in a park.
smart kid
even with a pre-nup, he'll be set
www.thatshideous.com
Speaking of Carlos Leon, is he on retainer at the Law & Order franchise? He is always on all of their shows! He dies on Special Victims Unit, Criminal Intent, and the original on near weekly basis. I am sick of his ass.
Madonna is not legally marrying Jesus! She is doing a "commitment ceremony," which means she can dump his ass with a bottle of Kabahla Hala water when she gets bored with him and not cough up any dough. This broad is NOT going to get legally married again! She learned her lesson with her last one, who was more expensive than Sean Penn!
Submitted by James Haven on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 4:36pm
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Hilarious! SmOOches, James Haven!
Submitted by James Haven on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 4:48pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 4:38pm.
SmOOches Sugar!
*saunters over to the Bruce thread"
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*sigh*
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by Thornhill on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 4:43pm.
Thorny! SmOOches! Long time no see! This must be James Haven's lucky day!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 4:38pm.
SmOOches Sugar!
*saunters over to the Bruce thread"
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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thank You MK for posting this pic of baby eater Vadgezilla, she looks like she is bringing the special with them hickory nutted cheeks of hers.
I cannot stop laughing looking @ this mess..
You can almost see Vadge quoting Jodie Foster in "Nell"..
"Puhhdy.. Lie May... Lie Nelll..."
"You ARE a whore,darlin"- Cristal Conners, Showgirls
@James, sup handsome.
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Leaders dream and talk.
Subordinates plan and do...
Submitted by James Haven on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 4:36pm.
I just read this. BWAHAHAHAHA! James Haven ain't right. ♥
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
That was quick!
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"You can lead a whore to culture,
But you can't stop her from throwing a glass of vodka at it." -DEB
James Haven! We were just talking about you in the Bruce thread! *dies*
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
James Haven has not only been invited to attend but will also be a bridesmaid! Yes, you read correctly, bridesmaid. Madonna told James Haven that wearing a tux will just not do. The pink gown will really bring out James Haven's green eyes and Madonna is not one for tradition. So Vera Wang look out, cause James Haven's got small hips, longs legs and he knows how to use em'!
Not many know this, but Madonna has been down in the dumps (what exactly does that mean? when you think about it, it makes no sense...). In a recent phone convo she told James Haven: "James Haven, I have been down in the dumps. Guy didn't want me, A-Rod called me a crusty old hag, and even that little baby in Malawi told me to hit the road bitch". "I was at my wits end until Jesus saved me, so this is a very spiritual relationship".
Madge went on to say that one day, she was walking on the beach and noticed only one set of footprints but Jesus was walking besides her. She said "Jesus, why only one set of footprints?" and Jesus replied "Madonna, my beloved, I was wearing Aero sandals. It's like walking on clouds".
Madonna knew that if Jesus was confident enough with his manhood to wear women's sandals, he was the man for her!
Although James Haven is not Kabbalish, he will still partake in the ceremony. Afterall, it is not everyday a person gets to be in the wedding of Madonna and Jesus! Saying that out loud is sick!
Angie refuses to go to the wedding. She said that she is disgusted with Brad's behavior and feels he might start acting like a fool after a few Shirley Temple's, she has nothing to wear, and there is no one to watch those crazy kids!
That's fine by James Haven cause lately, Angie is such a sourpuss that she wrecks all of James Haven's fun!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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God, this woman makes me want to throw things. You know she just wants to "marry" him, so people will say "Madonna married Jesus." *puke*
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"Are you coming or going? Or, are you coming, and then going? Or, are you coming and staying?" --Brian Kinney
He is hot.
Is it just me, or does Baby Jesus look like Wiley Coyote in this picture?
I think Dad just heard 'bedding' and mistook it for 'wedding'.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
It's Dee's fault that I learned how to make the ♥ thingy. And I promised her I'd use it excessively.
"Madonna is about as feminine as a T-Rex's dick"
Yet another gem, MK!
I don't condemn Vadge for having a younger man. I condemn her for being a deranged, egomaniacal BITCH, (who makes average/shitty music).
My mama je'e told me that all men are babies, so you might as well get you a fresh one.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Meh, Madonna doesn't know French, I call BS. Unless she had Lourdes interpret the call.
In that pic, baby Jesus reminds me a little of Carlos Leon in the earlier years.
Slutty
that, or Rosemary's baby. ugh. on topic, it's beautiful here.
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Fucka doodle-do.
She is sooooooo "SUNSET BOULEVARD" actualized.
Krezzy
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 4:02pm.
OMG WHAT IF SHE GETS PREGNANT???
"runs away crying"
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Damien? Wasn't this covered in "The Omen".
Madonna doing it with Jesus? Heavy case of inbreeding I'd say.
Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:49pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:45pm.
well jesus here isnt doing anything for my argument but for the most part no they don't. but on second thought if there was more women ceo's, millionaires etc etc. maybe more guys would. so maybe its not a fair comparison.
oprah couldnt hold a 20 something yr old mans attetnion with her billions the same way a hugh hefner could the other way around.
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Hefner's limp dick and naps at parties are what attracts those 20 somethings. Not his huge wallet.
How I wish I could live in that land of delusion.
i agree with coca on this one, double standard and all. vadge use to be a pop legend until she started peddling kabalahablahblah nonsense and lost her shit.
I'm in favor of anything that inspires MK to write "SANTO DIOS!, so get on this, Madonna. Make it happen for me! Don't run, Baby Jesus. Mama's like a virgin, remember? So this will be an immaculate conception. You won't have to get near the Vadge. Everything will be okay!
OMG WHAT IF SHE GETS PREGNANT???
"runs away crying"
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Fucka doodle-do.
Madonna looks like a hot, old mess. But he's a cutie, so kudos to her :-)
Submitted by coca on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:48pm.
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They're not fucking. He's a friend of Dorothy. Why are people buying this bullshit?
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.
Madonna stopped being relevant when Michael Jackson was still black.
Submitted by coca on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:42pm.
If this was Mick Jagger and some young chick with three times the age difference there would be high fiving all around.
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I don't know about the high-fiving, but I'll agree with you somewhat...Nicolas Cage, Ron Wood, etc.
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:45pm.
well jesus here isnt doing anything for my argument but for the most part no they don't. but on second thought if there was more women ceo's, millionaires etc etc. maybe more guys would. so maybe its not a fair comparison.
oprah couldnt hold a 20 something yr old mans attetnion with her billions the same way a hugh hefner could the other way around.
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:44pm.
don't blame men for the fact that women fuck for money
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and Baby is fucking Madge for the pleasure of her company.?
I miss Madonna circa A League of Their Own. It was so much easier to have respect for her back then.
Submitted by coca on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:42pm
yeah, okay.
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"Let me tuck you in" is doucheanese for "I want to ass-to-mouth you", right?" MK 5/14/09
Submitted by coca on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:42pm.
If this was Mick Jagger and some young chick with three times the age difference there would be high fiving all around.
Just the same old double standard going strong.
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Mick Jagger has talent. Madonna does not.
Mick Jagger is genuine legend. Madge is only in her mind.
Both are men.
No clue where I was going with this.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:44pm.
Are you saying men don't fuck for money?
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by coca on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:42pm.
don't blame men for the fact that women fuck for money
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Good God, can't she be single for 5 damn minutes?
If this was Mick Jagger and some young chick with three times the age difference there would be high fiving all around.
Just the same old double standard going strong.
Continue the misogyny.
WOW! Who knew the " Second Coming" would be on that whore's ass crack.
SANTO DIOS! Hand me a rosary and light a candle! Get my veil too! The lace one!
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LOL I can't stop laughing at this, and I can picture my abuelita with her rosary friend gathered together and praying.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Is this real life?
Between Temples and Madonna, Jesus really likes cracking open old jewish things. Id be worried if i was joan rivers
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Since it's not going to be a real marriage, he's not sure if it's legally binding or not.
Translation: Madonna isn't going to fuck around again, no divorce settlements to divvy out!
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Dick happens! - MK
If this is true at all, she is only marrying him so that she can adopt more children since they are so reluctant to let kids go with single parents. A married couple will have a lot easier of a time snatching up kids...
Submitted by Lavadama on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:30pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:29pm
Yep, I am suga. I haven't been able to sign back in since this morning.
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I just got back in. Teddy's in dere.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
People should be more concerned about the small family living in Madonna's large vagina...I hear it is drafty and dark inside and it has not been moist in years.....
Jeez, just when I thought Madonna couldn't get any more desperate. She looks like a fucking ghoul in that pic.
...The magazine also asked God about the rumors that Madonna was making Baby Jesus take ESL lessons.
I love you MK< I really do, but when I ge tfired for dlisting all day at work, you going to have to find a job for me.
You are Fucking amazing!
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!